51. Rosy
FIFTY-ONE
ROSY
I barely slept last night. Instead of battling anxious thoughts, they were overshadowed by an excitement that buzzed through my system.
I’m not going to be completely na?ve and think everything’s going to work out, that it’s going to be easy. But we’re at least all in this together. The feeling settles in my chest, like all the puzzle pieces are connected correctly and the picture is complete. It’s right, even if a little selfish.
But for once, I’m going to be selfish.
It’s an unfamiliar feeling to reach out and take something I want.
But they’ve been slowly knocking against my walls, some perhaps gentler than others, and I don’t want to hold back anymore.
I want to take a chance on this working, a chance on finding a family, a chance where I can find happiness and keep it.
A chance to love and be loved.
So I’m rolling with it. I harness the giddy adrenaline and enter work with a pep in my step. Yeah, that’s right, I’m feeling peppy.
Just don’t ask me for an explanation of what that means; it’s just fitting for my mood.
“Morning, Rosemary,” Peter interrupts my musings, but for once, my insides don’t clench.
“Good morning, Peter.” I smile, clicking send on an email, then glance up at him. “How can I help you?”
“It’s a pleasure to see you so sunny.”
“Thank you.” I think?
“Julia has requested additional assistance with something today. If you can head over and see what she needs.”
“Sure, I can do that.” I nod and scoop up my laptop.
“It would be nice if you would maintain this disposition when in the office. It’ll be rather appealing for all of us to be around,” Peter adds when I step around him.
He might be behind me so he can’t see it, but my eyes roll.
Peter can suck it.
Another small win for today.