57. Rosy
FIFTY-SEVEN
ROSY
I shut the bathroom door behind me and turn on the shower as I get undressed. My mind is a groggy mess, the impromptu nap throwing me.
Glancing in the mirror for answers, all I can see is my hair falling out of its messy bun and my pale face.
At least the bags beneath my eyes are slightly less noticeable.
Noticing the steam coming from the shower, I quickly dispose of my tampon, then jump under the water and let the heat consume me.
As much as I want to stand under the cascading water, I feel uncomfortable taking too long when Noah’s still waiting for me.
I know I won’t have the energy to get back out again once I get into bed, so I run through my bedtime skincare now, letting the motions soothe me. I turn to redress, then freeze as I realise I’d used my last tampon earlier. The new box is out in the kitchen…Shitsticks.
Walking out there will result in…leakage, and there’s no way I want him to see that.
Can I ask him to leave? No, that will come across as rude and probably weird.
Threading my hands through my hair, I tug. Hard. I don’t have the energy to figure this one out; I should’ve put them away earlier rather than be lazy.
Hindsight is a bitch, and there’s no space for her in my meltdown.
I can’t think of any other way than just asking him to pass them to me, definitely less embarrassing than waddling out there and dripping on the floor.
Opening the door a crack, I stick my head out and see him leaning against the kitchen island, reading something on his phone.
“Noah? Um…I’m so sorry. I know this is awkward…but can you please pass me the box of tampons on the counter behind you?” I ignore the heat flooding my face and chest, keeping my eyes fixed on anything but his face, hoping he can throw them at me and pretend this never happened.
“Of course. Are you okay?”
He’s being unexpectedly unbothered, although he’s never shown me any reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding.
But for every boy who acted revolted when I bled through my skirts at school, every man who can’t say the word menstruation, and for that one date I went on who thought I was disgusting when I left a mark on a chair…
Previous experience has taught me that anything relating to periods is gross, dirty.
“Yes. I ran out and forgot to bring the box in here earlier. I’m sorry to ask you to handle them,” I blurt, wanting this conversation over so we can go to the awkward avoidance stage.
Instead of just handing me the box, he cups my chin in his hand and tilts my face up to his. A thumb brushes against my cheek.
“Rosy, there’s nothing bad or gross about you being on your period. I’d even help you insert it if you needed me to.” He smiles. He must be joking…right?
“Oh. Don’t worry. I’d never ask that of you.” I laugh nervously. I really don’t know how to respond to this conversation.
“You don’t think I’d do that for you?” He holds the box of tampons behind his back and pulls against the door with his other hand, forcing me to step back. As he walks confidently into the bathroom, I continue backwards until I bump into the sink.
“There’s nothing you can do or say that would put me off. If anything, it’s a turn-on that you would let me take care of you.”
My body’s up against the sink as he surrounds me with his heat. It distracts me as I try to discern if he’s being truthful or just being nice. His reassuring celadon-green eyes fix intently on mine as his hands slide up my bare shoulders to cradle my neck. “Let me take care of you, please?”
My chest’s tight over his sincerity; I don’t know how to respond.
The battle of wanting to people please, surges against the horror of being so vulnerable and letting him do something society has told me is taboo.
Unsure what to say, I find myself nodding, because apparently saying no to Noah is harder than I thought it would be.
A smile takes over his handsome face as he leans down and presses a soft kiss on the end of my nose. Butterflies swarm in my stomach, joining the dull ache of cramps. But my heart lurches as the familiar sensation of gravity working has a slight trickle leaving my body.
No.
Now Noah will see and freak out. And I’m freaking out over the freak-out he’s about to have.
My breath hitches, and I scramble out of his way.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I need to clean myself up. You don’t need to stay. The cramps are ramping up, and gravity’s doing its thing. But thank you for being so thoughtful,” I ramble as I shuffle over to the toilet paper, trying to avoid opening my legs at all.
My progress is brought to a halt as Noah sidesteps around me, reaching my destination in only a couple of long strides. “I didn’t realise. Sorry. My fault for making you wait. Let me help clean up and get you sorted.”
Closing the lid of the toilet, he drops to his knees, manoeuvring one of my legs onto it.
As my legs part, my breath hitches in panic, but he quickly wipes the blood from my entrance and thighs.
A hot flush cascades from my face down my chest at the awkwardness of this all, but also at being on display and being touched by him.
Shitting hormones. I shouldn’t find this a turn-on, but I can’t help but feel heat flicker through my core at seeing him on his knees.
His concentration’s been firmly on cleaning me up, but I must be emitting some sort of signal, because he glances up and gives me a smile that pulls up the corner of his mouth.
He doesn’t pull away. He maintains the steady brush back and forth with the paper. But the movement is slower, the air charged as his eyes stay locked on mine. Then his finger glides across me, not the paper, but his actual finger.
I don’t move. I can’t. My body’s locked into position, holding steady for him.
As his finger makes another pass, I suck my lower lip between my teeth.
When it moves again, it’s not the same path, and my eyes flutter closed as he nudges against my clit.
He pauses briefly, then slowly strokes up and down.
Holy—
“There’s some research that suggests an orgasm can help alleviate menstrual cramps. Will you let me help you?”
My eyes flash open, then widen. I swallow loudly. Apparently, I’m considering his suggestion.
Who am I?! Where did the real Rosy go?
“I wouldn’t say no…my hormones are all over the place, and what you’re doing feels good. But, Noah, I know men don’t like anything to do with periods.”
He doesn’t answer, and for a second, I think he might leave.
Then he touches me. His hands glide up my hips, and he leans forward to press a kiss to my navel, then stands and places a towel across the sink counter. He grasps my hips again and lifts me, placing me on top of it.
The thoughtfulness has a little more of the tension easing from me.
He spreads my legs wide, missing the dark blush travelling down my chest because he’s staring between my legs. I don’t look down. I’m too embarrassed to see the mess.
“If there’s anything you’re uncomfortable with, we can stop straight away. But anything I do, it’s because I want to. Don’t get in your thoughts worrying about if I’m doing something I don’t want to. Just relax and let me help you.”
He wants me to not worry or feel self conscious? This is a turning point, I guess. Do I hold back and turn him away, or do I go for it and trust that he really wants to do this?
Argh.
Okay, fuck it.
Nodding, I lean back onto my hands, trying to relax.
He steps between my legs, affording me the view of his perfectly sculpted face and the gentle waves of his dark combed-back hair.
I suck in a breath as his hand lands on my knee, gliding up my thigh. I’m unable to stop my moan as his fingers slide through my wetness, then swirls my clit. My hips thrust as he teases me, not focusing long enough in either area to give me the relief I’m craving.
“Noah, please. You’re driving me insane.”
I’m being needy, I know it, but I don’t care. Thoughts are blissfully minimal.
“You feel so good. Watching you writhe against my fingers…I want to slam inside you. You’d feel so warm and tight, clenching around me.”
“Yes, I want that so badly.”
I pant as he adds more perfect pressure to my clit. His face leans in closer, my tongue swipes out and I trace it over the seam of his mouth. A mouth I wasn’t expecting to talk like that.
He’s so neatly put together, so gentle and polite.
Maybe that’s what makes it even dirtier.
He rubs firm, hypnotic circles against my clit, and I moan. Then something nudges at my entrance, and I freeze. I glance down, and my mouth falls open. I ignore the messy, pink streaks that coat my thighs and his fingers…because there, right between my thighs, is his cock.
“Um, what? What are you doing?”
“I want to fill you up. I want your swollen walls to grip me as I slide inside. If you don’t want this, tell me now. We can stop,” he grits out, his voice laced with tension and restraint.
“Do it. I want to feel you fill me so—shiiiit.”
He plunges in. We groan simultaneously as he bottoms out inside me. When he pauses, a niggle of doubt pulls me out of the haze. Did we go too far? Perhaps this isn’t what he wanted.
I gasp as he tugs out, prepared to apologise, but he thrusts deeply back in and my words are forgotten.
Noah sets a brutal pace. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
He glides in so easily, but I can feel every twitch and pulse he makes.
Everything’s so…sensitive. Every nerve ending, every sensation leads straight to my core.
His gaze is locked on mine, shrouding us in a level of intimacy I hadn’t expected, and his hips push in harder, quicker with need…for me. The impact of his thrusts pushes my arousal out, and it trickles down the crease of my cheeks, but I don’t care about the mess.
“I’m so close. I need you to come inside me. Please, I need to feel you.”
Noah’s hips stutter, then he restarts his achingly good rhythm.
“I couldn’t hold back if I wanted to,” he pants, head dropping to rest against mine.
Words can’t describe the rush of heat as I feel his cock swell before he groans and slows, his come filling me up as I wanted it to.
“Come for me, Rosy. Let me feel you grip me.” His voice is breathless, ragged from his release. But he doesn’t pull out, he pushes in further and adds pressure to my clit, using the wetness leaking from me.
“I need…I need.”
I don’t even know what I need.
Noah leans down, drawing my breast into his mouth and sucking on it hard. He sucks as much of it into his mouth as he can, and the tugging sensation has an incoherent noise coming from me.
“Oh, shit, yes. Yes. Noah, don’t…don’t stop.”
My head drops back, hips grinding onto his softening cock as his fingers strum hard against my clit. Everything’s so wet, so good.
A long, low moan is the only sound I make as the intense orgasm hits me.
Noah slips free, and it’s like a veil is lifted. Awkwardness and embarrassment rush in.
Did we?
I can’t believe…it’s not even a light flow day.
Closing my eyes quickly, I try to think of a way to get out of this moment.
“Rosy, look at me. Please? You don’t need to feel embarrassed about what we did. I loved every minute of it. The important thing is whether you’re feeling any better?”
Opening my eyes at his pleading request, I can’t stop the warmth that floods me at the care he shows.
“Sorry, it’s hard not to feel awkward. Sex in general makes me nervous afterwards, but that felt like levelling up.
A part of me is…ashamed to have enjoyed it so much.
It’s hard to know what’s the right way to feel when society has taught you one thing but you feel another?
” It’s difficult to hold myself back when I’m with him.
“There’s nothing wrong with any of this, and I say fuck society for making you think that.
What we did was consensual and beautiful.
I can’t tell you how sexy it is to watch you trust me with your vulnerability.
I wish I could stay inside you forever.” He finishes with a sultry smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
It’s hard to stay uncomfortable when this man does everything to make me feel anything but.
Thankfully, exhaustion from my period, coupled with the post-orgasm haze, means my brain’s able to brush that panic aside to deal with at a later date.
Most likely in the middle of the night, just to torture me.
“Come on. Let’s shower off before getting you dressed and cosy for bed.”
Noah pulls me off the sink and onto my feet.
Feeling slightly unsteady, I freeze when our combined release drips down my leg.
Not wanting to make a mess on the floor, I dart under the warming shower stream, letting it wash everything away.
Noah steps in behind me, and as I turn to face him, he moves in closer.
I watch as the water falls steadily down his face then he drops his head back, hands running through his hair.
This man has just given me a soul-sucking orgasm, and already I want to climb his body and claim another.
He takes a step back, tugging on my arm to pull me under the stream, then reaches for the shampoo on the side. Standing face-to-face, he massages it into my scalp. The moment is so intimately tender that I struggle to catch my breath. He’s concentrating hard, making sure he doesn’t miss anything.
As he massages the suds into the base of my neck, I can’t help but drop my head forward onto his chest to provide him better access. I struggle with tension in my neck and having him soothe the dull ache has me light-headed with relief.
“So much tension. You have four pairs of hands at your disposal; all you need to do is ask and any of us will happily ease your aches.” His voice vibrates through his chest, and I tilt my head to smile up at him.
“You all look after me so much already. I don’t want to ask for something when I don’t need it.
It doesn’t seem like I’m doing enough for all of you.
” Letting myself voice some of my concerns is both freeing and a little terrifying.
I’m still not used to putting myself out there or letting myself fall and hoping someone will catch me.
“I can promise we’re all holding back from doing more. It’s hard to control the urge to come on too strong and smother you with our attention. So if you need the occasional neck rub, all you need to do is ask. We don’t expect anything in return. You give your care and kindness so freely already.”
“I appreciate you more than you know,” I whisper into his chest, my heart tight and yet bursting at the same time.
“You’re important to me. Now let’s get you clean before we both turn into prunes, then we can snuggle to sleep.”