36
Maeve
Over the next month, our lives fell into a beautiful rhythm, repeating the same routine week after week. When we had the girls with us, the evenings were filled with warmth and togetherness as we prepared dinner after Christian picked them up from school. But during the weeks the girls went to their father's house, our passion soared, and we became inseparable, indulging in each other's touch and exploring every inch of our bodies together.
Within this harmonious routine, a sense of bliss and tranquility enveloped us. It felt as if the universe had aligned, bringing us together for a purpose. We found comfort in our little world, savoring the connection we had forged.
Yet despite the joy we shared, a flicker of uncertainty remained, a distant reminder of the impending court date. It was still a while away, but its presence weighed heavily on my mind, occasionally casting shadows on our otherwise radiant moments. Still, we chose to focus on the present, cherishing each other and embracing the love we had found, hoping that destiny would favor me when the time came to face the courtroom.
It was my week with the girls, and I had just tucked them into bed. Christian had been working late at Julian’s on a project, but said he couldn’t tell me what it was about yet.
I understood that a lot of his work was top secret and never pressed him to tell me anything, but when he worked late, it was hard to stay up waiting for him. Between work, the girls, and adjusting to this life, I had been exhausted.
When the doorbell rang, I practically skipped over to open it.
“Did you forget your key?” I said in a sing-songy voice as I whipped the door opening, not checking the peephole.
My face fell when I saw that it was my lawyer who I had hired for my court case.
“What's wrong?” I asked. Nausea roiled in my stomach. A home visit instead of a phone call was never a good thing.
“Can I come in?”
I nodded slowly and offered him a seat at the kitchen table.
“Sorry, it is a little messy,” I admitted, picking up a few toys scattered in the living room. I had gotten better, but mostly because Christian did a lot of picking up and buying boxes and bins for things to go.
“Please sit, Maeve.” From the way his eyes looked, I knew it was serious, so I hobbled over to where the lawyer sat.
“What is it?” I folded my hands into each other, feeling the sweat dripping off them. Should I have called Christian to be here for this? I could really use him, but I knew I needed to shoulder this problem because it was mine.
“He moved up the court date to the end of the week. New evidence has been submitted, and now they called it urgent.”
“What?! What could there possibly be? I have done everything he wanted. We have even had really good and decent civil conversations during drop-off and pickup.”
“He says there is evidence including photos taken of your live-in boyfriend holding a gun up to someone's head at a mechanic shop. He is claiming it is unsafe to be in a house with a man who is unsafe and involved in dangerous criminal activities.” The lawyer’s face dropped as he gave me this news, and I wanted to crumple and cry.
“How did he get this information?” I practically wailed.
“I have no idea.”
“How bad is it?” I asked.
“It isn’t great, Maeve.”
I would lose my girls. I would lose custody to Tyler, who was doing this just to get back at me and anger me because he knew he could control me.
“What does Christian do?” Antonio asked.
“He is a bodyguard,” I responded flatly because I didn’t know much more than that. I knew he worked for Julian and Alex, and they were involved in some dark shit, but Christian was their bodyguard.
The lawyer ran his hands through his hair.
“We gotta figure something out. Let me think about it before we go to court at the end of the week. Somehow we need to prove he is not harming you or the girls in any way.” Antonio lowered his tone. “They are going to question the legitimacy of this relationship. You are simply dating, which means it would be easier to break up with him.”
“But we live together? You can show them photos of all our stuff here, can’t you?”
“Yeah, of course we will. I’m just saying that I can already see that as their defense. If you were married, had kids of your own, etc., it would change the entire course of our argument.”
Antonio looked up at me. “Does he own the guns legitimately?”
Probably not.
“I’m sure. I’ll check with him.” The lawyer got up to leave.
“Call me when you talk to him,” he told me before heading out the door.
As the door shut behind him, I collapsed to my knees, tears streaming down my face in uncontrollable waves. I felt utterly broken, the kind of ugly crying you see in movies. My stomach churned with nausea, and I rushed to the bathroom, heaving up the dinner I had shared with the girls. It was the second time this week, and I couldn't bear the thought of falling ill on top of everything else happening.
Suddenly, I heard the door open again, and Christian's anxious voice whisper-shouted from the hall, "Maeve?"
"I'm in here," I replied weakly, my voice shaky from my emotional outburst.
He found me in the downstairs bathroom, my head resting on the cold porcelain, drained and feeling utterly repulsive.
"Told you I look like shit when I'm puking," I mumbled, too exhausted to care about my appearance. I looked up at him, and he had his weapon at his side. He was my bodyguard, my protector, and watching me in this vulnerable position, I felt so much shame.
"You still look beautiful, firecracker," he assured me, lifting me and carrying me to the couch after he holstered his gun.
Concern etched across his face, he asked, "What happened?"
"Why did you rush in here?" I responded simultaneously, our minds in sync despite the distressing circumstances.
"I saw the cameras and noticed a guy leaving, so I got worried. Who was that?" Christian inquired hesitantly.
"It was my lawyer," I admitted, struggling to lift my head from the pillow.
His worry intensified as he stared into my eyes, searching for answers. So I told him everything that had transpired even though I knew it would hurt him to hear that someone had followed him. But I needed his help and had to be honest about the situation.
After I finished recounting the events, he sat there in silence, running his hands through his hair. In a sudden burst of determination, he leapt up and ran up the stairs to our room. I noticed he pulled out a bag and began emptying it. Inside included some concealed weapons from the closet safe.
"For the record, they are all registered," he grumbled, addressing no one in particular.
Panicked and desperate, I pleaded, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to figure out a solution to all of this. It's my fucking fault, and I need to go figure it out. I thought I was doing it, but I guess I need to do it sooner," he explained, his brows furrowing in determination.
But I couldn't bear the thought of him facing this alone, and I grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. "Stop.” My voice was heavy and commanding. It took all my strength to assert myself, but I couldn't let him run away, as he often did, to fix a problem on his own. We were in this together, and I refused to let him face it alone. It took everything out of me to say it, but Christian was doing the thing he always did, which was fix a problem by running away.
“You’re leaving me again, and you promised you never would without including me. I need to know what is happening, and I am lost right now.” I could tell that his chest was heaving, and his breath was ragged.
“My sponsor is your fucking ex’s husband.” I was dumbfounded, and my jaw went completely slack.
“Holy—”
“I know.”
“When did you figure this out? Did you always know?”
“No. I figured it out a couple of weeks ago and was planning to meet up with Stephen to talk to him about it. I didn’t put it together until I heard Tyler on the phone talking about him coming home from a shift he was volunteering at the hospital.” Christian’s head hung low.
“I never asked him because we always liked to keep some level of privacy. We were connected, but in a very intimate way where we had gone through this trauma together, so it felt almost weird to know his personal life. I never looked him up until I realized who he was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I was hurt. I was really hurt that Christian was still keeping secrets, and all those thoughts started to swirl around my brain again. I wanted them to stop. I stepped backward away from Christian and braced my hands on the edge of the bed.
“I was planning to tell you…”
“This is exactly what I was talking about, though. I told you how important it was for me to be part of a team with you.” Christian looked at the floor and took a few hesitant steps to where I sat.
“What is your plan anyway? To run into their house with all these guns and scare them? That is ridiculous.” I sat on the bed and ran my hands through my blond locks.
“I wasn’t thinking,” Christian confessed and sat down on the bed next to me, mimicking the same movement of running his own hands through his hair.
“I want you to be my partner. I just saw red and ran upstairs.” His voice suddenly changed to something more quiet. “This is my fault.”
“This isn’t your fault. This is no one’s fault but honestly my own. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. We should never have done this whole fake dating scenario,” I confessed, and then I felt his large hands pull my jaw to his face.
“Do you regret it?” Christian’s tone cracked at the very end.
“No.” I put my hands to his and wrapped my fingers around his wrists as they rested on my jawline. “I love you so much,” I confessed.
“Maeve, I need you to hear me on one thing?” Christian demanded, his hands still resting on my face. “I would walk where the stars meet the ocean and back if that meant I could have just one more minute with you on this earth. I don’t just love you. I belong with you.”
Tears brimmed the edge of my eyes as I listened to him. I pulled him close.
“Then I need you to make sure that we are a team. We have to work on this together, and going to his house and threatening everyone is a bad idea.”
“I agree. You are my equal, Maeve. On the other hand, I do think we need to go over there before he takes this to court at the end of the week.”
“I also agree with you, but we need to go in with a plan.” I looked over at his suitcase with what was probably twenty guns deep. “None of those either.” He laughed and wrapped me up in a hug. The smell of pine was so strong I just inhaled his intoxicating scent before I felt the bile creeping up my throat. He had never smelled this strong to me…ever.
“The lawyer suggested something ridiculous.” I pulled away from him and wrapped my legs with his on the bed.
“What is it?” Christian asked.
“That we make our relationship more legitimate.”
I giggled, thinking about how our fake relationship would somehow become serious.
“Why are you laughing?”
“This whole thing started as a fak—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Christian threatened. “We already talked about this. Nothing about this is fake. I love you. You love me. We live together. I love Kelsie and Kinsley. I pick them up from school and actually look forward to it. Does this seem petty to you?”
“It’s not petty.”
“Well, does it not seem serious, then? Because to me, if I was an outsider looking in, it looks very fucking real,” he huffed out.
"Christian, it's real. The lawyer mentioned that if we got married, it would legitimize things for the court," I explained, sitting up in bed as he listened attentively.
"Let's do it then," he responded matter-of-factly, surprising me with his quick and decisive answer. We had both been through marriages and divorces before, and neither of us had ever planned on getting married again, nor had we discussed the idea with each other.
"Don't be ridiculous.” I laughed, shaking my head, and got off the bed, giving him a small pat on the chest before heading into the bathroom.
"Can you call my mom and ask if she can watch the girls while we go over to Tyler's tomorrow? I don't want them to wake up and hear anything, so I think it's best to go over there. I also think it’s best if we go after we have figured out a plan. We can do all of it tomorrow and have Julian, Alex, Elio, and the girls all weigh in," I requested, seeking some privacy to talk.
Christian nodded, and I quickly shut the bathroom door, getting ready for bed. The idea of marriage felt ridiculous, and everything was moving so fast that it felt like I had accidentally hit the fast-forward button.
I shook my head again, realizing how hasty this was. The thought of getting married again, especially so soon, seemed foolish. I had a family to consider, and my primary concern was the well-being of the girls.
As I contemplated the situation, doubts and uncertainties crept in. It was difficult to fathom the idea of being married again, given our past experiences. I needed to weigh the consequences and consider what this step would mean for all of us. The decision couldn't be taken lightly, and I knew I had to carefully consider every aspect before taking such a momentous leap. At least I think I had to, right?
I grabbed my toothbrush and added some toothpaste to it before placing it into my mouth. Immediately, the taste of mint made me want to gag. This was new…
Or wait. I swear I had the same reaction to toothpaste twice in my entire life. Once when I was pregnant with Kinsley, and the second time with Kelsie.
As if the gears had all suddenly started to click—the vomiting, exhaustion, and enhanced smell. There was no fucking way this was happening on top of literally everything else.
I opened the very last drawer and grabbed a very old pregnancy test. It was likely expired at this point, but I had stockpiled a bunch when I was married, convincing myself I would be pregnant again.
My hands shook as I opened the box quietly. I heard Christian calling my mom on the other side, so I did this as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to stress him out if this was just my imagination, which it absolutely had to be.
With trembling hands, I retrieved the pregnancy test from the box and quickly followed the instructions, all the while hoping that this was just a product of my overactive imagination. There was no way this could be happening, not now, not after the news the lawyer had delivered today.
As the test developed, I held my breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I glanced at the small window on the stick, and my eyes widened in disbelief. A second pink line appeared, clear as day. I blinked, thinking it might be a mistake, but it was undeniable. I was pregnant.
A surge of emotions rushed through me—shock, disbelief, and even a hint of fear. This was unexpected. I mean, technically, it could have been a possibility since we never used condoms, and I wasn’t on birth control. I guess I just assumed…? I didn’t know what the fuck I assumed. I had two fucking kids already. I knew very well how one got pregnant. I just didn't know how to process this news, especially with everything else happening in our lives.
I desperately wanted to share this moment with Christian but couldn't, not after what he had just heard from the lawyer. He didn't need any additional stress right now, and I couldn't risk adding to his burden. I needed time to wrap my head around this revelation before I could find the right moment to share the news with him.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat there in the bathroom, feeling an overwhelming mix of emotions. I had to be strong, not just for myself but for the girls and Christian. This was a lot to handle, and I knew I had to find a way to navigate through it all without breaking down.
Once I composed myself, I quietly disposed of the test and washed my hands. Taking a deep breath, I exited the bathroom, my mind racing with a million thoughts. Christian was still on the phone with my mom, discussing the arrangements for the girls. I stood in the room with him, listening to them talking on speakerphone.
"I've got it handled. We will see you guys tomorrow after work," my mom said, and Christian thanked her before hanging up.
I forced a smile, pretending everything was fine even though I felt like my world had been turned upside down. "Thanks for calling her," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
Christian wrapped his arms around me, sensing that something was off. "Everything okay, firecracker?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.
I nodded, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. "Yeah, just a bit tired. I think I'm going to head to bed early tonight."
He kissed my forehead gently. "You take all the rest you need. We can talk about our plan with everyone tomorrow."
As Christian walked away, guilt gnawed at me. I wanted desperately to tell him about the pregnancy, but the weight of everything that had happened today was crushing enough. I couldn't bear to burden him further with this unexpected news. It had to wait even though I had no idea when the "right time" would be.
Turning to head into my room, I realized how cold and desolate the space had become, a place I had avoided except for grabbing clothes from the dresser. But Christian hesitated, sensing my distress, and turned toward me, questioning my intentions.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked, trying to decipher my emotions. I attempted to force a smile, feigning composure. "I just need... some space after everything," I replied, not wanting to reveal my true turmoil.
"I don't like the sound of that," he admitted, and with those words, my resolve crumbled. Tears welled up, and I couldn't hold back any longer. The weight of it all became too much, and I cried uncontrollably, my body heaving with exhaustion and the burden on my shoulders.
Christian quickly crossed the bathroom and wrapped me in his arms, bringing me comfort and stillness. "What’s going on, firecracker?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
"Just today has been such a wild... curveball. I just need my rest," I reiterated, hoping he would understand and leave me alone.
"Can I come with you?" he whispered, almost begging me. "Let me try to lay with you."
Still crying, I nodded in agreement, unable to resist his plea. He turned me around and led us back into his bedroom, tucking me under the covers and holding me tightly from behind.
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end," he whispered gently. With those words, I closed my eyes, hoping that this would all be revealed as a terrifying dream when I woke up tomorrow.