40
Maeve
I knew those four words were coming, but I never expected them to happen like this. I suppose I didn't expect tonight to end up like it did, though. I wasn't planning to throw it out there at Tyler’s house that I was pregnant, especially when I hadn't even had the chance to tell Christian, but when Tyler kept hounding me about being more serious and that Christian and I were fake, I just felt it bubbling inside me. I needed to do something to remedy the situation, and that was the first thing that came out.
Now, we had driven to the beach, and Christian had parked in the parking lot and was walking into the black wall toward the sounds of the ocean. I trailed him, embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior. This wasn’t news you wanted to hear at your girlfriend’s ex’s house.
“Can you please wait up for me,” I begged.
I could see in the darkness Christian had turned around.
“Why, so you can throw some other news at me now? Are we having twins or something?” His hands ran through his hair. “Fuck,” he screamed into the abyss.
“Christian, it wasn't my—”
“That was fucked up, Maeve.”
I felt the sadness creep up in my chest.
“I know,” I responded sadly.
“God, though.” Hands ran through his hair again. “I am so proud of you for how you stood up for yourself. It was so fucking hot and so fucking empowering.”
I gave a sad little chuckle before shoving my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. We were still feet apart from each other.
“When did you find out?” His voice was so low I could barely hear him over the hum of the ocean.
“Yesterday,” I answered. “I started to gag on the smell of toothpaste, and I had a test from a long time ago. I confirmed it with many more this morning.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” His voice was hurt, and I felt horrible. No, worse than horrible. I finally stuck up for myself with Tyler, only to put down the one person who cared about me the most. The one person who I should always tell the truth to.
“I was consumed with what was happening with the girls.” I started to tear up again. “I’m so scared, Christian. I am so incredibly scared that he’s going to take them away from me.”
He closed the distance separating us and wrapped me into his warm arms. The pine scent mixed with the cool ocean breeze, and the sounds of the waves coming into the shore felt like home.
“I don't think he is, firecracker. There is nothing for him to say in court.” He looked down at my stomach and placed his hand on the center of my belly. “Is this really happening?”
I nodded slowly. “I didn't mean to keep things a secret.”
“I’ve never imagined myself with a family. My mom was never around for me. I don't even know how to be a dad.” He moved his hands off my stomach.
I reached out and grabbed his hands in mine.
“You already are a parent, Christian. As much as Stephen is also a parent to the girls, you are, too. Regardless of what Tyler says about you or who you are. You’re an amazing human being.”
“I don't know how to braid hair like you. What if it’s a girl, and I suck at the things I’m supposed to do?”
I gave his hands a squeeze at the sound of his confession.
“Christian,” I asked, and his blue eyes looked down, locking with my own. Here we were again, dancing in the shadows of the moonlight with the sound of waves behind us. It was everything that I could have wanted and more. “I love you so much. I think it’s simply love that we need in order to be good parents, and we have so much love between us. I don't doubt that you will be an amazing dad. Plus, look at how you are with the girls.”
“I’m still upset you didn't tell me earlier and threw it out in front of everyone,” he offered a small turn of his lips, but I could see the hurt.
“I know.” The cold air whipped through us. “Can we go home? I’m nervous about tomorrow.”
When we got home, we briefed my mom, who also seemed very hesitant about the situation. The court case was going forward tomorrow, whether we liked it or not. We had to go and show our faces, at least.
I said goodbye to my mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs to check on the girls.
I heard faint sounds in Kelsie’s room, so I assumed she had awakened from a bad dream.
Instead, I saw Christian on his knees, leaning by her bed and gently giving her back scratches, which was her favorite request of him.
“Sometimes I have scary nightmares too, but we have to remember it's just what we imagine in our head,” Christian murmured while tucking her hair back.
“Christian?”
“Yeah, my little Poppy?”
“Will we get to live with you forever and ever?” My heart could have exploded hearing this, and I wanted to go in and hug both of them so tightly. It had to be the hormones…right?
“And ever and ever and ever,” Christian responded and pressed a little kiss to her forehead. “You, your sister, and your mommy mean so much to me. It would be my honor if I get to live with you, but only if it’s okay with you.”
The little girl nodded eagerly.
“Okay, good, then it’s settled.”
“Forever and ever,” Kelsie responded.
“It’s time to go to bed, though, okay?” She turned around and closed her eyes, and Christian got up. When he turned to see me in the room, he offered me a small smile, but little did he know what that conversation meant to me.
“Let’s get you to bed too, firecracker,” he whispered. Grabbing my hand, he guided me to our room. He paused right before his door and looked at what was originally intended to be my room.
“I guess that is where we can make a nursery because you sure as fuck aren’t going back in there.” I looked over at him and giggled at his statement. He was right. There was nowhere else I belonged except in his arms.
I pulled on one of his shirts before pulling the sheets back on the bed.
“I noticed that you haven’t had any more nightmares in a while,” I said quietly, not wanting to test or hurt him any more than I had today.
He paused for a second as he was throwing on a pair of my favorite sweats. I watched his arm muscles move while he thought about what I said.
He ran his hands through his hair and murmured, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
I looked over at him before I whispered back, “I’m proud of you.”
The following morning, after Christian and I dropped the girls off at their school, we went straight to the courthouse in downtown San Diego.
It was a beautiful courthouse made of old red brick and right in front of the harbor where all the boats came in and out of. I wore a mid-length red burnt-orange dress, and Christian was in his typical all-black ensemble. I told my mom she could stay home this time and we would call her immediately with any updates.
“Are you ready?” Christian asked me, patting my stomach once more. Last night, he slept the entire night, forcing me to have a pillow between us so that his abs didn’t harm the baby. I rolled my eyes and laughed hysterically before obliging because he insisted.
“Ready as I can be, I guess.”
We walked to the courthouse steps and were about to walk through securitywhen I saw my lawyer gesturing for us to hurry up.
“That's the lawyer,” I whispered to Christian as I threw my keys and purse into the security machine.
Once we got inside the building, I saw Antonio standing in front of the courtroom doors. My heart dropped at the sight of him. If he wanted us to hurry, maybe somehow we were late or something was wrong. My hands shook, and the beads of sweat started to pool in the center of my palms.
“Hey, sorry, I think we are on time?”
Christian stood supportively behind me with his hand on my waist. “Christian West.” He offered his hand to the lawyers.
“Nice to meet you, Antonio Roma.” A gesture passed through them as if they knew each other.
“Wait, have you guys met before?” I asked them.
“Antonio works with Alex often. He’s done a few deals for us.” Christian lowered his tone before turning to me and whispering in my ear, “He is one of us.”
“Holy shit,” I responded more loudly than I intended.
“So you knew about Christian all along? Why did you come into the house acting like you didn't?” I asked the lawyer.
“Legal reasons.” He held up a recorder. “I needed to make sure you had no idea what he did for a living, and if they planned on bringing it up here, then I could show that you had no idea based on this recording.”
“Damn.” I felt a little sidestepped. I guess if Christian had his secrets, I wouldn't feel so bad about waiting twelve hours not to say anything about the baby.
“Wait, why were you gesturing for us?” I asked.
“They dropped the case. All charges are dropped. The custody arrangement will remain the same.” My jaw dropped. I could feel Christian’s hand tighten.
“Wait, why?”
“Said there wasn't enough evidence. They also said that it appeared you two were quite serious but wouldn't say why.”
“Holy…”
“Shit.” Christian finished for me. The water welled in my eyes. Tears brimmed the edges. This was it. This was what I had been fighting for months.
“We did it,” I told Christian.
“You did it,” he whispered and dropped a kiss onto my mouth. It was filled with the taste of wet, salty kisses.
“I did do it, didn't I?” I rasped.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Antonio hugged us each before heading out of the courtroom, telling me that he would send me the original custody arrangements that it would revert back to. I thanked him profusely.
Just as we were about to turn and head out of the building, I saw a glimpse of Tyler in his suit, talking to one of his business associates who I recognized.
“Wait.” I pulled on Christian’s hand and pointed in their direction. Stephen was now rounding the corner and headed toward us.
Christian released my hand and walked over to Stephen, hugging him.
“Thank you.” His voice cracked as he spoke, and I knew then the magnitude that this took on him too.
“I didn't do anything.” Stephen smiled and looked over at Tyler, who was still talking but glancing in our direction. “Wanna take a walk?” Stephen asked Christian who just looked at me.
“I’m okay,” I insisted. The two of them headed outside the building just as Tyler slowly walked toward me. When he got to me, he shoved his hands into his pockets with his head hung low.
“Last night was the first night that I realized I really fucked up,” Tyler confessed, not looking or even glancing in my direction.
“You did,” I confessed honestly.
“I’m really sorry, Maeve. I just thought I was somehow pushing you to be a better person by doing this. I know it sounds so stupid, but I was really looking out for you because you had no one. When I left you, I felt horrible for what I did, and I told myself that I was never going to leave you high and dry. I think in some twisted way, I thought I was protecting you,” he responded cowardly, hanging against the wall.
“Stephen made me realize that I was hurting you and the family when I was really trying to protect you and give you the opportunity to get your life together.”
“That is the biggest problem I have with you, though.” I butted in. “I do have my life together. What if I like my job, my friends, my little routine? Ultimately, what you did was drive us apart. I wish I could say that things could go back to normal after all of this, but you really hurt me.” Tyler nodded his head in agreement.
“You are so lucky that somehow Stephen and Christian knew each other. Ultimately, it was our partners and their friendship that saved us.”
I turned to go, but Tyler called me back.
“I just, I know that Christian isn't my biggest fan, but will you tell him that I really have nothing but respect for him. I know what he and Stephen went through in the Marine Corps was life-altering. When I realized who he was, the job he does now makes more sense.” I glared back at Tyler.
“You can tell him yourself.” I gave him a tight-lipped smile before walking off to where Christian stood outside on the front lawn of the courthouse.