Chapter 8
The clear night sky soothes my agitation as I rest against the edge of the private rooftop pool. Light pollution makes it hard to see the vastness of the universe’s display, but it’s enough to transport me somewhere else and ease the tension in my tight muscles.
After the clash over Celeste’s call, Gabi and I hid from each other for the rest of the evening. We clearly don’t know how to be in each other’s presence as we waver between anger and attraction. I should have let the rift stand, but after just a couple of hours, I couldn’t take it anymore.
We have to figure this out. I can’t be around her with this impossible attraction, but I can’t avoid her either. I also can’t leave Celeste yet, not that a breakup would solve anything. Celeste would be just as much of an obstacle as a jealous ex, and none of it changes the bigger problem—that this strange chemistry with Gabi could hurt her.
It took some creativity (and a phone call), but I came up with a plan that could address each of those factors. I left a note for Gabi to meet me here to talk, but so far, she hasn’t shown. Not too surprising, considering how we left things. I’ve tried pushing her away for her own safety, and to this point I guess it’s working.
Twenty minutes into my swim, the stress starts melting from my shoulders. A new melody is even climbing into my head, and I let it flow through me until it’s too strong to remain trapped inside. It seeps out in quiet singing to myself as I imagine a piano and other instruments accompanying me in my one-person symphony.
As I indulge in the song, air moves through my lungs freely for the first time in a while. Art, expression, creativity is the only time I have peace. With all the angst lately, I’ve been starved for beauty, the beauty of expression.
Similar to the allure of sex, when I’m deprived of creative outlets bad things happen, not just mentally, but physically. I have to engage my internal muse to stay grounded, whether it’s through music, drawing, painting, sculpting, or any other artistic pursuit.
That’s also when my body’s the most vulnerable, and why I keep this part of myself hidden. I don’t want people to know about me. They can’t know. I’ve seen what happens when humans find out we’re special.
“So, you sing too? Of course you do.”
I jump at the voice and twist around to see a shadow approaching.
Shit. I didn’t even hear the door.
“Is that a problem?” I ask. Gabi still seems upset.
“Actually, yeah.” She slips off a lacy coverup and drapes it over a chaise lounge.
Her gaze locks on me as she descends into the water. Mine is glued to the tiny bikini barely covering her small breasts and gently toned body. She’s petite but fierce in a way that”s hot as hell. She wades toward me, and I sense the surge in her awareness when she realizes I’m naked.
“Sorry for breaking your no nudity rule. I didn’t know if it applied to water,” I say with a teasing smile.
Her eyes flash in the moonlight, burning as they scan my chest and arms.
“That’s not why I’m upset.”
My smile fades at the failed distraction.
“No? So, what’s upsetting you?”
“You’re a fucking liar.”
I suppress a wince. Guess I earned that.
“I’m sorry. You have every right to be upset about what happened.”
“Actually, I’m not upset about that. I get why you keep pushing me away. What upsets me is how you insist on hiding the best parts of yourself. We all play roles? Bullshit. When do you actually get to play yourself?”
“Maybe I am. You barely know me.”
“Fine, so explain to me why no one can know what a gifted artist you are.”
Gifted artist.A strange thrill rushes through me, triggering all kinds of alarms. I shouldn’t care what she thinks, but clearly, I do.
“It’s complicated.”
“So, you’ve said. Then maybe you can explain why you’re happy to fulfill my mom’s needs but not your own. Why you pretend to be a shallow airhead when you’re probably smarter than all of us. Why you lie about everything you are and deny everything you could be. Why is that Aden?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“No, I guess not. Is that because I know the truth or because I’m not a big enough prize?”
She’s been moving closer with each word and now hovers just a couple feet away. I smell the floral scent of the products she uses. Another few inches, and I’d be able to feel her heat as well. Several drops of water glisten in a slow, tantalizing path between her breasts, and my fingers itch to explore the swelling mounds behind those tiny fabric triangles. She’s probably the perfect mix of soft and hard. My tongue would love to tease a sensitive nipple until she’s pleading for more.
I sense her own desire in the hungry way she watches me. Her lust screams with all the things she wants to do to me. My own desire wonders what her hands would feel like exploring my body without barriers. My dick is clearly eager as it remembers her dangerous touch.
Gabriela Wells is a variable I can’t control.
“Anything else upsetting you?” I say. “Now’s your chance to let it out.”
“You’re a liar and a fraud. Isn’t that enough?”
Her tempting chest suggests something else when it rises and falls in exaggerated breaths.
“So, what if I am? I’ve been honest about that from day one. You’re the one who refuses to accept the truth.”
“The truth?” she says through a bitter laugh. “What truth? There is no truth with you. Is that your game, Aden Ward? Hook them with the tantalizing question of who you really are? Is the ‘enigmatic playboy’ a deep tortured artist or a self-indulgent frat boy?”
“A game implies it’s an act.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No.”
“Then which are you?”
“Can’t I be both?”
She falls silent and closes the distance between us.
“No,” she whispers, meeting my gaze.
“No?”
She shakes her head, her eyes pleading. “No, because I need you to be simple. Boring. Shallow… I need you to be nothing I want.”
I fill with heat at the sudden realization of how much she wants.We’re not physically touching, but with the intensity, we might as well be.
My body was already screaming for this. It’s been too long, far too long. I feel weaker than I have in a while from lack of sex, which is all the more reason to take what I desire. It would be incredible for her as well. I’d have her addicted and pleading for more with just one kiss. This situation is literally what I’m wired to pursue, and yet I find myself unable to make the move I’ve made countless times before.
You know why.
Her teeth sink into her lip as she studies me with scorching intensity. My face, my chest, my arms, down to the surface of the water that’s hiding the rest of the lie she’s telling herself.
I circle around her, forcing her to turn and meet my gaze. Our eyes lock as I close in, step by step, until her back is pressed against the wall of the pool where I was. She raises her conflicted, hungry eyes to mine, daring me to call out her bullshit and claim what we both want.
But I won’t, not yet. Not until I understand what’s happening here. I need her to realize we’re playing with fire, because I’m not sure how much longer Ican resist this impossible craving. There are so many reasons we can’t be together, most of which she can never know.
“Why did you come?” I ask.
“You said you wanted to talk.”
“Bullshit.”
My dick is already hardening against her as I take another step to crowd her into the wall. She inhales sharply, instinctively sliding against me. Her leg hooks behind mine, cinching us together. Her hips grind in small, unconscious movements, seeking more. It feels so good against my burning flesh.
She grasps my waist with trembling fingers, pulling instead of pushing.
“Why do you really hate me, Gabriela?” I say in a low voice.
“Because you… confuse me,” she breathes out in a shaky voice.
“Now who’s lying?”
“I’m not lying.”
“No? So, it’s not because you want me? That you dream about fucking me and it kills you that you can’t?”
I should have mercy on her and let this conversation die. It’s safer for both of us, but something inside me snaps at the hypocrisy of her accusation that I’m the one playing games. She’s deluding herself, trying to convince her brain she’s in control.
I cup her cheek, burning as she melts into my touch. My thumb runs over her lips, pressing with increasing pressure until they part enough for her to taste salt and chlorine. What sounds like a soft whimper sends a rush of blood straight to my cock.
“Is this what you want, Gabi? Do you want to hurt me or fuck me? Now’s your chance. Bite or suck?”
Her fingers dig into my hip as I push my thumb in further. Her body makes an involuntary movement against me. And another.
The fire rages. Sparks fly in an erratic symphony. I’d give anything for her fingers on my waist to wrap around my cock instead. Her rapid breathing and fluttering eyelids tell me she’s thinking the same.
But she doesn’t move. She’s clinging hard, waiting for a miracle that will never come. Her body will notmagically change its mind about what it wants. Her searing blood will not cool, and her enflamed core will not stop throbbing with frustrated lust. She will still want me after we resist this moment and she’s alone in her room tonight. She’ll want me every time she touches herself and gets lost in a forbidden fantasy, knowing it could never be reality. Not in our twisted story, but the truth changes nothing.
Her tortured gaze sifts over my face for several long seconds.
What’s your choice, Gabriela? Danger or run to safety?
Neither, because we’re interrupted by the sound of the door.
Shit.
The timing is either terrible or perfect.
Let’s go with perfect.