Chapter 12
Ihave to stop. I want to stop. I can’t stop.
Gabi’s lips taste so sweet. The bite of chlorine mixes with a hint of fruit when I invade her mouth and indulge the craving.
As I explore the rest of her body, her moans become a drug, coaxing me into a dangerous high.
Reality starts to blur. Details fade until I’m nothing but instinct and senses.
When I reach the wet fabric molded over her center, I lose all hesitation. Shoving it aside, I sample her slick heat with my tongue. Every lick tightens her body in an escalation of pleasure. Her gasps and subtle movements drive my own lust toward a fiery abyss.
It feels so good to have her. To let go and take what I’ve wanted for so long. I’m so wrapped up in the feel of her, the taste of her, that I don’t recognize the shift in her awareness until it’s too late.
She goes limp in my arms.
“Fuck!”
I release her in alarm. Gripping my hair, I stare in horror.
What the hell happened?! We were just fooling around. It wasn’t even sex!
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Gabi, please. I need you to wake up.”
Her beautiful face is too serene. She’s unmoving, barely breathing, but I’m too afraid to touch her to check her pulse. I have no idea how to help her when it was my touch that did this in the first place.
This is all my fault. Exactly what I was afraid of. I knew things were different with her. I still don’t know why—but I felt it from the first time we touched. She’s special. She affects me in a way I can’t explain. There’s something that amplifies the connection and now… I might have killed her!
“Wake. Up!”
I run my hands over my face, tears burning my eyes for the first time that I can remember. I’ve never cared about anything enough to cry, but here, in this moment I can’t bear the thought of losing her.
“Come on, Gabi,” I whisper, lying down beside her. “Please!”
Her brows are smooth and still. Everything in me wants to trace them and appreciate each beautiful feature of her face, but I curl my fingers into a fist.
Just when I’m about to explode in frustration, a sleepy smile spreads over her lips.
“Hey, you,” she mumbles.
“Gabi!”
Her brows pinch in confusion as she becomes more aware. “What’s the matter? Why are you so upset?”
I drag my arm over my eyes and use every ounce of strength I have not to touch her. When she reaches for me, I shrink back.
“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” She’s clearly hurt.
Fuck. I can’t let her think any of this is her fault. But I have even bigger problems when her concern morphs into fear.
“Aden…?” she draws out in a haunted voice. “What’s going on? Did I just pass out?”
I clench my eyes shut, trying to breathe. This is exactly what I feared from the moment we met.
“I…”
I, what? There’s no script for this.
With her strength returning, she pushes up on her elbows to focus her anxious stare on me. “Oh, shit. Did you drug me?!”
“Gabi, no of course not. I would never do that!” I cry when she scrambles away.
The terrified look on her face guts me as I ransack my brain for something to say.
“Get away from me!”
“Just listen to me?—”
“No!”
She rolls away, and I have no choice but to grab her. I hate restraining her, but I don’t know what else to do.
“I didn’t hurt you! I swear!”
I wince. I did, though. Not on purpose, but I did.
“Please, just… It’s comp?—”
“I swear to god, Aden Ward, if you say ‘it’s complicated’ one more time I’m going to rip your tongue out!”
I release her and hold up my hands in surrender. “Okay. I will tell you everything. Please, just hear me out before you react. Please, Gabi. I didn’t drug you, I swear. When would I have done that?”
I still can’t tell what she’s thinking as her wary stare passes over me in the silence. She doesn’t move to escape, though, and I give her even more space.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. At least, not on purpose.”
That gets her attention. She seethes quietly while she waits for me to explain.
“I…”
Fuck. I don’t even know how to have this conversation. I press the heels of my palms to my eyes, trying to pull myself together.
Keep it simple and related to her.
“I’m… different,” I begin slowly.
“No shit,” she snaps.
Despite everything, a smile threatens my lips at her always simmering fire. It’s hot as hell.
“Right, but, in a non-human way.”
Her bitter laugh is no surprise. “Uh-huh. So you’re an alien? Which planet?”
I don’t think she actually wants the answer to that. She wouldn’t comprehend our language anyway.
Matteo dealt with this. I should have asked how he navigated our complex situation with his humans.
“Not an alien. More of a…” I go silent.
“More of a what? Why’d you stop?”
“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say.”
“Is it the truth?”
“Yes, but…”
“Well, I definitely hate the lies, so if you want even a shred of hope at salvaging this situation, you better start talking.”
I swallow hard and motion between us. Whatever energy I just took from her was enough to fill me to overflowing. I feel invincible right now, stronger than I’ve ever felt.
“You passed out because of our incredible connection.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Maybe I should just say it. She’s not going to believe me no matter what comes out of my mouth, so it might as well be the truth.
“I’m… Well… Humans refer to me as Apollo.”
Her stunned, then skeptical expression is pretty much what I expected.
“Like the god?”
“Not like the god. I am him.”
“You’re… I don’t understand. Your name isn’t Aden?”
“The human name I chose is Aden, yes. But that’s not my real name.”
“Because it’s Apollo. The Olympic deity…” she says dryly.
“Actually, no. Apollo is a human name as well, given to me because humans can’t process our language.”
“Say it.”
“What?”
“Your real name.”
“It won’t make sense to you.”
“Say it anyway.”
After a deep breath, I tell her my name.
She tilts her head, studying me. So, it’s my name she’s hung up on, not the god part?
“Did you say it? I saw your mouth move.”
“I told you. Our speech doesn’t work the same as yours.”
She’s quiet for a long time, and I remain still as she processes everything I just said. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. It’s times like these I wish I could read minds like my other brother Damon. Usually, I’m glad I don’t carry that burden, but right now I’d do anything to know what’s going on in Gabi’s head.
She’s probably angry. Scared. I doubt she even believes me. She probably?—
“Okay,” she says evenly. “So, you’re Apollo. Explain the passing out thing.”
I stare at her, not sure how to proceed. “That’s it? You don’t want to talk more about the Apollo thing? See proof or anything?”
“I already saw the evidence. That’s what got us here. And actually, it explains all the other weird shit about you. Your eyes, the music… This.” She waves over my body with a disgruntled expression. “No human can be that perfect. If anything, I’m less confused about you now than I was before.”
A strange warmth blooms in my chest. This woman is so fucking special.
“Aden? You still here?”
“What? Yeah. Sorry.”
I shake off the brief trance and focus back on her. “What was the question?”
“Why does kissing you make me unconscious? Is that a god thing?”
“Um… sort of. That’s never happened before. Not from just kissing, anyway.”
She squints at me, and I’m back to searching my brain for answers that don’t exist. Honestly, I didn’t expect to get this far. I thought she would’ve run or forced me to run by now.
“This has never happened before? Because I’ve seen how people respond to you. How they fawn over you. It always seemed like you had some otherworldly pull. Guess that was literal.”
“Yeah, it’s?—”
She blasts a warning look.
“I wasn’t going to say ‘complicated,’ I swear,” I say through a nervous laugh.
Her lips tip in the slightest smile. I can’t believe she’s not hitting me.
“I was going to say, it’s not as bad as it sounds, but maybe it is. I don’t know.”
“Then tell me and let me decide.”
Fair enough.
With another deep breath, I prepare for the rest. “In order for me to survive in your world, I have to sort of… borrow some of humans’ humanness? Their essence? Spirit? I’m not sure how to explain it.”
Not like that, apparently.
Her nose scrunches. “Borrow?”
“Fine. Take. I take it, but it’s always through consensual interaction. I also do everything I can to make sure it’s a pleasurable experience for the person and they don’t get hurt.”
“How can it be consensual if they don’t know you’re taking their essence?”
“How am I supposed to inform them of what’s actually happening? Besides, doesn’t everyone have selfish reasons for intimacy that aren’t always discussed? Stress? Revenge? Pleasure?”
She tilts her head as she thinks.
“I thought I had the formula all figured out. I knew how far I could go and when to stop. I thought… I mean… I never had someone pass out from what we did. You’re different for some reason. Everything I feel when I’m with you is… heightened.”
Her brow furrows as she considers my confession. “Why is that?”
Shit. I expected the current confession to be the hard part, not the next one.
“Aden?”
“Yeah, um…”
“You said this lifeforce thing transfers with intimacy, right? Does that mean the strength and type of connection matters? Is there a difference between a connection that’s only physical versus one that’s also emotional and spiritual?”
She’s waiting for a response, but I don’t know what to say. As usual, the woman’s mind is moving faster than my limited excuses can keep up.
“Is that it? Are you… in love with me?”
Gabi narrows her eyes at me.
”Aden, are you in love with me?”
I avert my gaze.
Her theory is exactly what’s happening. It’s why I can fuck a room of strangers without a problem but can’t seem to kiss this woman without knocking her unconscious.
Now, with my body still buzzing from our encounter, I’m beginning to grasp why my brother Matteo and his humans would sacrifice for each other. Before, I couldn’t imagine caring about someone enough to risk my own safety, but here I am, doing it all for Gabi and she doesn’t even know it.
The truth is, I should have left after the argument with Celeste tonight, but I couldn’t walk out on Gabi. She’s still mourning her father, and I couldn’t bear to be the next person to disappear on her.
Besides, Hell is coming for me, and I wasn’t going to abandon her to bear the punishment for my mess.
“Tell me! Do you have feelings for me, Aden? Like, actual feelings.”
“Yes,” I say quietly. “I’m falling for you beyond the physical. And I’ve tried to resist it; I have. Intimacy with me will be dangerous for you. I knew from the first time we touched, something was different, stronger, but I didn’t know what that would mean.”
“Wait. The other night with Cian. Is that why you stopped touching me and finished with him alone?”
“Yes.” I try to read her expression. “I was worried you were drifting too far, that we were taking too much.”
“We?”
Fuck.
“Yeah, uh… I’m not the only one like this.”
“How many? Are you all gods?”
“I don’t know how many are in Slate City. So far, I’ve found three others, and yes, I guess you could say we’re gods, although we don’t use that term. Our relationship with humans varies and has been interpreted differently by different groups over time, but we’re all from the same place… sort of.”
“Sort of?”
I force a deep breath. “This world around you—this reality you know—that’s not all there is. There’s an entire other plane of existence. Multiple planes, actually. They exist around you as well; you just can’t experience them in your physical form.”
“You mean, like a spiritual plane? Ghosts and stuff?”
“Well, yes. And no. It’s…” I cringe. “Complicated.”
She huffs a dry laugh. “Fine. I’ll give you that one. This is all…” She shakes her head, and I adjust to be eye level with her.
“I’ll explain what I can at some point, but for now, please listen to me. Everything I just told you is extremely dangerous for both of us. I’ve seen firsthand what people do to my kind when they find out about us. They’ll go to extremes to get what they want. Hate me, be skeptical, whatever you want, but please let me get you somewhere safe.”
“Wow. You seem really scared.”
“I am. I’m afraid of what your mother and others like her will do when they find out about me. I’m afraid they’ll use you to hurt me, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Use me? My mother might be capable of some pretty terrible things, but I can’t believe she’d actually hurt her own daughter.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do.”
“What about your father? Did you think she’d hurt him prior to six months ago?”
Gabi deflates, and I hate resorting to playing that card, but we’re running out of options.
“What if I told you there’s a way I could find out if he was killed for sure?” I can’t believe I just said that.
She knows about everything else, though. She might as well know the rest, and honestly, her father’s fate is a significant factor in my own quest.
“What are you talking about?”
“I told you humans can’t experience those other planes, but that wasn’t entirely true. It’s just living ones who can’t.”
Confusion fills her wide brown eyes when they lift to me. I’m hitting her with too much too fast. Of course she’s overwhelmed.
My chest feels tight, but I don’t know what to do now that I’ve forced us down this dangerous path. This entire mess has been my fault since the beginning. As soon as I suspected my feelings for Gabi would be a complication to my plans for Celeste, I should have left and come up with another plan.
I just… I don’t know. I thought I could handle the situation. I never worried about dangerous circumstances because if things went bad, I’d disappear.
Literally.
There’s a dimension between my natural domain and this physical world the humans govern. A transitional barrier. My brothers and I call it The Translucence.
Human souls can access this place when they die, while spiritual beings like me can wander freely and monitor what’s happening in the human dimension. Although it takes incredible energy for me to cross between the planes, it’s always been my backup plan to escape into the safety of that hidden place if necessary.
Until now.
Being with Gabi has changed everything. Before her, all that mattered was my own survival. The threats to beings like me are different from those humans face. Our battles and victories exist outside their daily realities as well.
I never thought I’d have a human to worry about, but somehow her safety has become more important to me than my own in many ways. Escaping into The Translucence isn’t an option when the person I care about most can’t go with me.
“Take me there,” she says in a firm voice.
“What?”
“You made it sound like my dad could be there.”
“Yes, but?—”
“So, take me there.”
I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant. If he’s dead, then yes, he could be there, but you can’t go. Like I said, it’s not meant for the living.”
“Would I die?”
I let out a breath at memories of the last time I tried to take a human into The Translucence.
“Not right away, but it wouldn’t be long before you did. Besides, it takes incredible strength to cross over, and even more if I had to bring a human.”
“But it can be done. Have you done it before?”
“I…”
“Answer me!”
“Yes, but it was life-or-death. Even if I had the strength to cross over with you, I’m not certain I’d be able to get you back. I’m not taking the risk, especially since you’re already drained. It’s a lot harder for me than my brother. It’s more his domain than mine.”
Her expression softens. “You have a brother?”
I swallow hard. “Two, actually. Well, two that are in Slate City that I know of.”
“How did you get here?”
I drop to the edge of the daybed and run a hand through my hair. Car horns and distant sirens blast from the streets below. The warm summer air suddenly feels cool against my wet swim trunks. A chill runs through me and lodges deep in my pores.
“Hey,” Gabi says gently, sitting beside me. “I care about you too, you know.”
She places her hand on my thigh, and I tense at the contact. Maybe I should tell her. If anyone could help with my crusade, it would be the Wells’ heiress who’s on a similar mission of her own.
“I don’t know how I got here,” I say, meeting her gaze.
“You don’t know?”
I shake my head. “I woke up on a sidewalk in the Watershed District about a year ago. I had no idea where I was or why I was there. I still don’t know, but what I do know is that I can’t get back to where I belong, and The Shadow is hunting us. They almost got me. They tortured my brother for months before I helped free him not too long ago.”
Her eyes are wide and filled with pain when I glance at her.
“Ever since then, I’ve been on a quest for answers too. I had no idea where to start, but so far my search has led me here.”
“To my mother?”
“To your family and the company that owns the warehouse that held my brother and who knows what other horrors. Gabi, your family is wrapped up with The Shadow somehow.”
She opens her mouth to respond, then shakes her head. “That’s not possible.”
“No? But it’s possible that your mother murdered your father?”
She draws in a ragged breath. I hate that I’m hurting her, but she should know the truth, if only to protect herself. I will never forget the day I learned that the horror I narrowly escaped had swallowed up my brother.
Since my hunt for The Shadow began, I’ve discovered their brutal claws stretch into every recess of this city. The government, institutions, even law enforcement, have all been infected by their poisonous tyranny. The Shadow is a plague that infects every organ of Slate City, and yet, despite their ubiquitous presence, they operate in a void no one outside the organization seems to be able to touch.
“It’s true, Gabi, and it’s why I’m here. You keep asking why I won’t leave your mother. That’s why. My survival, and all those I care about, depends on exposing The Shadow. Your mother is my only lead, and I can’t leave until I find out how she’s involved with them.”
“You want revenge.”
“I want to find out if they have any more of my siblings, then I want revenge. I want to fucking rip them apart piece by piece.”
“Destroy The Shadow?” she says with a bitter laugh. “Good luck.”
My fist clenches between us, and she smooths her palm over it. The sparks surge hot and violent, but instead of pulling away, she closes her fingers around mine.
I try to breathe through the pressure in my chest.
“How can I help?” she asks, and I close my eyes at the sweet timbre of her offer.
By going somewhere safe so no one will ever hurt you.
“Thank you, but it’s better if you stay out of this. I’ve seen what The Shadow is capable of. I’ve seen horrors you can’t imagine, not just to others like me, but innocent humans caught in their web. I’m already in their crosshairs. Let me find out what happened to your father. I’m sure it’s related.”
She returns a hard look. “Aden, if my family’s tied up in this, then I want answers as much as you do. And I understand why you’re asking me to stay out of it. Respectfully, not a fucking chance.”