Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Leon
I’ve been useless today, barely paying attention in any of my meetings. I’ve listened enough to make it seem like I’m doing my job competently, and not a bit more.
Katya shook my world last night and then ran away like she did something wrong.
That kiss was anything but wrong. It’s been the only thing I can think about all goddamn day.
I’ve been replaying the interaction in detail on a loop since I went to bed last night, and since I woke up again this morning.
If I had time to waste, it would have been the reason that my shower doubled in time today.
I can’t even be upset with her for ending the moment when it happened because I understand her reasoning completely.
When I proposed our arrangement, I made it clear that I needed to find my sons a mother.
I went so far as to call it a nanny position that would grow into the parental role. A nanny position.
Fucking hell, if I kissed a nanny like that, she could sue me for workplace harassment or something.
She kissed me, I remind myself for the hundredth time.
I didn’t imagine that she would feel called to a physical connection so soon, or if my past experiences were any indication, at all. But she was, and she kissed the fuck out of me.
I wanted to make your day better.
The sweet declaration sounded like it could have been insulting, like she didn’t truly want to kiss me, she just thought it would make me happy so she felt like she should. But that wasn’t how her words came across at all. No, I knew exactly what she meant when she said it.
Katya was too kind to think of kissing me as some kind of pity gift to give me after a long, stressful day.
She wanted to kiss me because she thinks of kissing me as something good.
A sweet gesture to give us both some joy at any given time.
But after our connection heated up, she was quick to remember the stupid fucking boundaries I created for us.
She wasn’t wrong to stop, I know that. We haven’t had a conversation about us since we became man and wife.
Our focus has been on making the children comfortable as she moves in and becomes a part of their lives, just like we agreed it should be.
But I don’t think that Katya or I thought we would feel so connected so early on.
We were drawn to each other easily. At least, I know I’m drawn to her.
I can’t stop staring at her whenever we’re in a room together, and I can’t stop thinking about her when she’s not near. And now, I’ve found myself sinking to another concerning new low.
I’m fucking stalking her.
“Kat, we have cookies?” Leo asks, his little voice cracking over the security camera microphone.
“Yes, little love,” she agrees, chuckling since he’s asked this three times already since I started watching them. “They’re in the oven, remember? You and Bastian did such a good job helping me mix the dough, but they need a little bit longer to bake and then to cool down.”
“Right,” Leo agrees and I swear I can see his eyes sparkle through the feed.
I only meant to check in on them, to see if Katya was doing well on her second day alone with the boys, and to make sure that they didn’t wake up upset.
It’s been a while since I wasn’t there to see them when they wake up, and now it’s been two days in a row.
I was glad to see that neither of them were teary-eyed but it didn’t hurt to check.
Well, checking turned into having the security feed playing on my phone and computer on and off for over two hours. I tried to only peek at it at first, and every time I would close out the live video, I would come up with some reason to pull it back up again within a few minutes.
I should be disgusted with myself for watching Katya like some kind of creepy internet freak, but I can’t help it. She’s like a fucking magnet, and seeing her with my kids only makes my admiration of her grow. My only saving grace for keeping the guilt at bay is that she knows about the cameras.
When she moved in, I gave her a rundown of the house’s security measures, and that almost all rooms minus the bathrooms and a few others are covered by audio and visual. She knows that guards or I can access the security at any time, to keep safety the highest standard.
I assured her that neither I, nor my security guards, would check in on her private rooms’ cameras unless there was an emergency, and so far, I’ve kept my word on that.
She deserves a space where she can be herself without being watched, especially since she could be undressed or in a vulnerable position at any given time in her bedroom.
“Daddy will like our cookies?" Leo asks, seeming eager to hear her answer as he leans closer to her on the couch. They’ve been watching a movie while playing with toys and stuffed animals since putting the cookies in the oven, and Leo has been glued to her side the whole time.
Bastian seems equally drawn to Katya but much less enthusiastically. He gravitates toward her quietly, and shares soft words with her more and more throughout the day from what I’ve witnessed so far.
“I think he’ll like them very much,” Katya declares with a firm nod. “We found a perfect recipe in the little book your aunt made for us, didn’t we?”
“My Rain-uh book,” Leo confirms with a goofy grin.
Baking with their aunt had become one of their favorite things to do during Rayna and Apollo’s short stay with us.
So of course, she made Bastian and Leo a handwritten booklet of easy recipes they could make with me and or my new wife while they were gone.
From what I’ve seen today, they made candy cookies.
A play on chocolate chip and M&M cookies but with a bunch of chopped up chocolate pieces or bars.
I should probably be concerned with the amount of sugar I let them consume sometimes, but I can’t make myself feel parental guilt in that regard.
They’ve been through a lot, they can have all the sweets they like as long as they’re not making themselves sick and they’re still eating their meals.
I’m sure I used to swindle Martha for as many extra sweets as I could as a child, and I think I turned out healthy enough.
“Yes, your Rayna’s book,” Katya confirms with a giggle. “I hear she’s a very good baker so I’m sure all of us are going to love the cookies. And we’ll have lunch in a little bit too, won’t we?”
“Uh-huh.”
They spend the next several minutes discussing what they’re going to have for lunch, and how nap time will come after lunch.
Leo doesn’t seem thrilled with the concept of taking a nap—per usual—but between the sugar crash he’s bound to have and the energy he’s spent running around the house this morning, I think he’ll sleep soundly for at least an hour like he always does.
“Katya, is Daddy coming home soon?” Bastian suddenly asks, looking a little nervous to voice the question out loud.
My stomach twists, hearing the contemplative emotion in his tone.
I think he’s going through shifts of warming up to Katya being in the house, and a fixture in his life, but he’s unsure how to talk with her sometimes.
He doesn’t want to ask something she doesn’t know how to answer or worse, he doesn’t want to offend her by asking something that might sound rude.
“Oh yes, I think so, buddy,” she replies, keeping her tone light and airy. “He said he would be home after you wake up from your naps and he hasn’t texted me otherwise today. Yesterday was just a surprising day for him, he wanted to come home sooner but he got super busy.”
“He’s not busy today?” Bastian asks, like he needs to make sure to feel secure in her answer.
“Only a couple meetings for him today,” Katya assures him.
“Whenever my stepfather Linus, you remember him, right? From the wedding?” She waits for him to nod before continuing, “Whenever he only has a few meetings, he’s always home nice and early.
He’s a boss too, you know? Like your daddy and your papa. ”
“Right.” My eldest son nods and moves to sit closer to her on the couch. Leo beams, noticing his brother is now right on the opposite side of Katya and therefore is closer to him too. “Did you miss him? When he would work?”
My heart drops.
I have another meeting in ten minutes, and I’m about to fucking cancel it.
“Of course,” Katya says softly. Tentatively, she reaches for his small hand and holds it gently, giving him space to pull away if he wants.
“I used to be very sad when he was away for too long, but my little sister would be even more sad, you know? So I always made sure to play with her and keep her happy. It made me happy too. Kind of like how you and Leo play together, hmm?”
“Yeah,” Bastian nods, looking down at their hands. “Did your mommy play too?”
Katya freezes and so do I.
She recovers before I can.
“She did,” my wife begins, nodding slowly. “She loved to play dress up with us, and have tea parties. But she could get busy too, you know? Most mommies and daddies get busy and have to spend time away, or need time to themselves. That doesn’t mean they love us any less, right?”
“Right…”
“Mama too tired to pway,” Leo suddenly adds, humming the statement like it doesn’t sadden him. For him, it’s a simple explanation to why Cleo slowly stopped being active with him and his brother. For Bastian, it doesn’t seem like the reasoning felt so simple.
“She must have been,” Katya agrees, latching onto the information quickly. “I’m sure she would have played with you two as much as she could if she hadn’t been so tired. I know from experience that you two are so much fun. She would have never missed out on time with you if she felt better.”
Leo nods, readily agreeing with Katya’s assessment, but Bastian seems shocked. “Really?”