Chapter 29 #2
Baby.
He called me baby.
Wait…is he mad about being consumed by thoughts of last night?
“I watched you today.”
Blinking, I frown at him, instantly confused.
“What?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and feeling bad about leaving the kids so soon that I watched you on the cameras all morning.
Well, not all morning. But I’d rather overplay it than lie about how long I checked in on you for.
I opened them on my phone just to make sure things were going well and then I couldn’t stop myself. ”
“I…we need to talk because you watched the cameras?”
Now it’s his turn to blink. “I’m telling you that I effectively stalked you for several hours today, watching and listening to you while you were unaware.”
Why does it sound like he’s confessing an egregious sin?
“Are you…are you expecting me to be upset?”
“Are you not?” He draws his eyebrows in, appearing dumbfounded.
“Leon, we married each other less than a week ago and we hardly know one another. You’re trusting me alone with your children and I know you have cameras.
I would be surprised if you didn’t watch them.
” I step forward, tilting my head slightly to one side.
“You’re a protective father trying to take care of his kids.
I couldn’t possibly fault you for that.”
“I wasn’t just watching them,” he emphasizes, shaking his head. “I was watching you, Katya.”
“Well, I was in every frame with them, I’d imagine so—”
“Katya,” Leon says, stopping me. He lifts a hand and captures my chin before forcing our faces closer together.
“I was watching you. I was leering after you like a fucking creep, and I’m trying to tell you this because I need you to know that it’s going to happen again.
I apparently have very little self-control where you’re concerned and it’s only right that you’re aware of what kind of man I am. ”
“What kind of man is that?” I challenge, savoring the way his large, firm hand feels against the soft skin of my face.
“The kind who confesses to watching his wife and children while he works to provide for them and keep them safe? The kind who finds himself drawn to the woman he married? If you’re trying to frighten me, Leon, you’re doing a poor job of it. ”
His fingers twitch, like a heartbeat pulsing around my jaw. “I brought you into this marriage with different expectations. You’re meant to be…” He trails off, looking reluctant to say the words.
“A mother,” I finish for him. His throat visibly bobs and I move, lifting my hands to wrap around his wrist softly.
I don’t use the new connection to remove his hold on my face, but to bring us closer.
“I know what we talked about when we discussed this match, Leon. I remember every word we exchanged when I agreed to this relationship—to this arrangement of ours.”
He blinks, unmoving.
“I also remember asking you if you found me attractive. I remember asking you if you wanted other children, and I remember your answers. Our marriage is real. We’re strangers, still getting to know each other and learning how this life is going to go.
But our marriage is real. If you say I shouldn’t feel sorry for kissing you, then you shouldn’t feel sorry for watching me. ”
“It’s not the same,” he attempts to argue and I put a quick stop to it.
“You’re not watching me undress, or crossing a line that would change things between us,” I remind him with a firm, encouraging tone. “I would watch you too, if I was in your shoes. It’s natural to be curious. I’m curious about you too, you know?”
His eyes flick down and suddenly his hands are gone, removed from my face and pulling from my space. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Of course you don’t.” I swallow. “I don’t know what I’m doing either, but I think we’re doing a pretty good job so far.
The kids seem happy, don’t they? They’re adjusting well, and I’m enjoying being here.
We can take our time. We’re going to be married for the rest of our lives and we’ll have plenty of time to mess up and forgive one another, okay?
But this isn’t something I need to forgive you for. ”
“I don’t want to mess up anything with you,” he confesses, shaking his head.
“I want to be a good husband, Katya. I have nightmares about being a bad one. There’s nothing I would hate more.
Being a good example for the boys, and using the example my father set, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, really. ”
Feeling brave, I walk right into him, setting my head on his chest and wrapping my arms around his back. If there were ever a moment to hug someone without request, it would be this one.
“You can want that and more, Leon. I want things too, and in time we’ll learn how to give each other everything.”
He doesn’t return the hug right away, taking a moment before lifting his arms and surrounding me with them. He’s so warm and smells like rich, deep, and sweet cologne. The kind of manly scent that makes your mouth water a little bit when it fills your nose.
“You were right to want someone who can focus on your kids before all else,” I mumble into his chest, feeling frightened by the words coming out of my mouth.
“We’re going to keep our priorities straight, and care for them.
But if we come to care for one another in the process, we can’t fault ourselves for that, can we? ”
The soft press of firm lips touches the top of my head and I shiver. “I think I’d have to be crazy not to care for you, Katya.”
The feeling is very much mutual.