Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Katya
Unfortunately, Leo’s tummy ache was more than just a little pain and discomfort. A stomach bug hit him swiftly and took no prisoners. The poor boy threw up every ounce of food in him, and took almost a whole eight hours before he could hold down water. He only had a minor temperature, thank God.
Bastian was spared from getting sick alongside his little brother, but he was a bit distraught with worry for Leo.
I think it would have been more difficult to calm him if Leon hadn’t stepped in to remind him that he’s had stomach bugs before himself and he was perfectly fine within a couple of days.
No one needed to say it out loud for us to all understand he was worried about his little brother following in his mother’s footsteps.
When you watch someone you love get sick and die, it’s difficult not to associate sickness with the unforeseen and unrelenting call of death.
But nothing more than a couple of days of discomfort and sickness were in the cards for our Leo.
He recovered quickly with some good old fashioned rest, relaxation, and chicken soup.
Despite being upset that he couldn’t simply eat whatever he wanted as soon as he was feeling better, Leo took being taken care of in stride.
He adored being doted on, and it helped him get through the worst of it with a silver lining.
Letting myself into my husband’s office, I don’t feel trepidatious or even the slightest bit uneasy. This may be his private area, but he’s never told me to avoid it.
“The boys asleep?” Leon asks, looking up from his desk with tired eyes as I softly shut his door behind me. His lips are turned down in an almost stern-looking frown, but he’s not sad. His voice gives away his exhaustion—his stress.
“They are,” I confirm, keeping my voice down despite our distance from the boys’ bedroom. “They were disappointed when you didn’t come say good night but I told them you had to run out and that you would see them in the morning. An extra bedtime story made up for the letdown.”
If the kids thought their daddy was only a short walk away, working in his office, they would be even more upset about missing a good night with him.
I know why Leon couldn’t bring himself to go down the hall and up the stairs to see them off to bed, but children don’t understand the complexity of adult moods.
Leon is the kind of father who refuses to let his shitty day affect his babies.
He wouldn’t want them to come face to face with anything other than their perfectly loving father.
On any other day, he might have been able to mask his obvious sullen mood and heavy stress, but not today.
It’s radiating off him in waves, and we both know that Bastian and Leo would notice.
“You didn’t have to lie for me,” Leon replies, shaking his head. “But thank you.”
“I didn’t really lie,” I reason with a little shrug. “You’re not here right now, even if you’re in the house. You’re not yourself.”
His head tilts to the side, just a fraction. Just enough for the action to reflect his questioning look. “You sound so sure of that for someone who doesn’t actually know me yet.”
I try not to smile hearing his last word. Yet.
“I know enough.” Walking further into his office, I ignore the open chairs across from his desk and set my sights on a more appealing seat.
“I know that you try to be snappy when you want to be left alone, like you did just now. I know that you want to be left alone because you refuse to let your misery seek company.”
“I didn’t mean to imply—”
“See?” I question, cutting in. “You can’t help but try to take back a cutting comment that was far too dull to hurt me.”
He sighs, and it’s like tension is trying to flee him but it can’t escape. “Katya, it’s been a long day.”
“I know, bohatstvo. Leo got sick, and you threw aside all of your responsibilities to help me nurse him back to health. Taking three days off made work build up for you, and you were already stressed before it happened. But he’s better now, and you can’t possibly think that you’re going to catch up on everything in a single day, can you? ”
He forces a tight smile. “Stranger things have happened.”
I click my tongue, shaking my head in disapproval. “You’re a good father, Leon. A very good father, and a good man. You’re also so hard on yourself. I think your expectations are higher than anyone else’s, and you shouldn’t be so rigid in your standards. You’re doing enough, anyone can see that.”
He digests my words with a blink, watching as I finally bridge the gap between us.
He doesn’t try to move away, watching while I perch myself at the edge of his desk—the same edge that he’s sitting behind.
The satin of my maroon pajama pants slips against the solid wood of his desk and I cross my arms over my stomach loosely.
A bit of the bare skin of my navel is peeking out from my shirt, and I watch as his eyes track it, noticing the small exposure.
“You need to relax,” I inform him softly. “You don’t take any time for yourself, and it’s beginning to catch up with you. Any time you take away from your job is for the kids, and never for you. Have you done anything for yourself since Cleo passed?”
“I married you.”
His words send a flutter of heat straight to my core.
Still, I press on, “Working so much, and worrying so much about the boys, it’s not healthy. You have to take care of yourself, or I’ll be forced to do it for you.”
A dirty blonde brow lifts up in challenge. “Pot meet kettle, baby. All you do is work and worry about the kids too. Your job is the kids.”
“Mhm,” I agree with a hum. “But my job isn’t just worrying about them.
It’s loving them, and caring for them, and having fun with them.
I have my fair share of stress too, you know?
This is my first time living away from home, in a completely new state, surrounded by an entirely new group of people.
But I manage myself to make things easier.
When the kids go to bed, so do I. I read, or play the piano, or stargaze on the patio.
I do anything besides stare at my computer and worry. ”
“I have responsibilities,” Leon points out stubbornly. “Things are busy. And they don’t stop just because they’re pissing me the fuck off.”
“We should have a swear jar,” I tease with a small giggle. “But I know that you have important stuff to take care of, Leon. I’m just saying you should take care of yourself too. Or at least, let me help take care of you.”
Something changes in his expression at my last suggestion, and his jaw seems to tighten.
“Take care of me?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave.
“And how would you do that, hmm? You already clean more than you need to, and you cook just as much as I do, if not more lately. You’re already taking care of me, Katya. ”
“Better,” I clarify.
“What?”
“Better” I repeat, lips twitching. “Let me take care of you better, bohatstvo. I know you married me for them at first, and I know we seem to keep getting interrupted when things are beginning to change in our relationship but I haven’t forgotten.
I’m your wife, Leon. I told you I wanted you, and I meant it.
And I can’t sit back and watch you burn out while I could be here for you. ”
His throat bobs and his eyes grow dark and haunted as he looks up at me. “It’s not like you can take on any of the burden of my work, Katya.”
“No,” I completely agree. “But I can do other things.”
He goes still, watching me and expecting me to clarify my meaning.
Moving slowly so I don’t spook him, I take a few deliberate steps and end up behind his chair. My hands land gently on his shoulders over his shirt, and without prompting, I begin to rub and squeeze his shoulder muscles, moving in to work on his lower neck at the same time.
“I can rub your shoulders, and force you out of your office for more than just meal times,” I suggest, feeling him release a long breath.
He gradually relaxes under my touch, letting my hands mold him like putty.
“We can spend more time together when the boys are asleep. Adult conversation that isn’t about work or children can be very beneficial to your mental health. ”
Leon doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t push me away either.
His body is so tight under my hands, the stress of his everyday life clearly having worked knots of tension into his muscles.
My stomach gives a flutter the longer I massage him, and the idea to dip my hands into the opening of his collar so that I can rub his skin directly lights up in the back of my mind.
“I can do more than massage your shoulders,” I tell him, my voice just above a whisper.
Rolling my hands up, I start to rub circles into the back of his neck just under his hair line.
He sighs, clearly enjoying the soothing touch.
Going a step further, my fingers draw up the back of his head, before delving deeper into his hair and stroking his scalp.
“When’s the last time someone touched you here? ”
I watch in utter fascination as gooseflesh peppers up his neck. I’m making him tingle, and seeing evidence of it makes me need to clench my thighs closer together. Having an effect on a man as handsome and as powerful as Leon Moretti is a turn on that can’t be denied.
Leaning closer to his ear, my words brush his skin as my fingers drag through his scalp. “I can touch you all over, if you want.”
“Katya,” he rumbles, the sound of my name almost coming out like a warning.
“Husband,” I whisper in return, my lips skimming the shell of his ear. “Let me take care of you.”
I can hear him swallow thickly. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to,” I say with assurance. “Nothing would make me happier. I want this to work, Leon. I care for you, and for our family. I know you’re not quick to trust. You don’t have to be. But let me show you that I want you. That I want this relationship to grow.”