Chapter 4
LARK
“No, you didn’t ask for it to include pine trees the first time. In fact, you specified you didn’t want any plants in the logo,” I hiss at my laptop screen in exasperation.
This is the third revision I’ve done for this client, and I’m losing my already limited patience. That, plus the fact that I’m talking to inanimate objects, means I should probably call it a day.
Charlie’s going to be here any minute anyway.
After I quickly send an email agreeing to do the revisions, I shut my laptop with more force than necessary. Most days, I enjoy being a freelance graphic designer. Today, however, work has felt like a never-ending chore.
Part of that is probably how preoccupied I’ve been with the three men I met last night. Hal, Rook, and Azrael have consumed my thoughts for the past twenty-four hours, making it hard to focus on work.
Like they’d even want a piece of work like you. What could you possibly offer them that another woman can’t?
As much as I try to remind myself that what she says isn’t true, it’s hard to refute statements I agree with.
I don’t have much to offer them or any man, really.
I’m not rich, well-connected, or stunningly beautiful. I’m not unattractive, with my dark reddish brown hair and emerald eyes contrasting with my pale skin. However, my lack of dramatic curves makes my body nothing to write home about. Andrew made sure to remind me of that as often as he could.
Sighing as thoughts of him and them try to creep in, I do my best to push them away. Avoiding difficult memories is probably counterproductive, but it’s what allows me to get through every day.
Maybe one day I’ll be strong enough to deal with it all.
Standing up, I stretch out my tight muscles from sitting at my desk in the living room all day.
My one-bedroom apartment doesn’t have space for a dedicated office, but I don’t mind.
The small table is unobtrusive next to my charcoal sofa, and I have a view of the forest at the back of the complex while I work.
I pad on quiet feet across the living room to the kitchen. My parents would be appalled that I’m living in such a low-class apartment, with its vinyl floors, laminate countertops, and worn carpet. But that only makes me like my little home even more.
And the best part about it is that it’s all mine. No one else paid for it, so no one else has any say in what I do here. I haven’t ever had that freedom before. Now that I have, there’s no way I’ll ever go back.
Grabbing a green plastic cup out of the chipped white cabinets, I turn on the slightly tarnished steel faucet and fill it up. As I’m chugging it down, the lock on my front door begins to turn before flying open.
My best friend Charlotte, or Charlie, as she prefers to be called, barrels through the doorway. Her naturally wavy, sun-bleached blonde hair is untamed, and her ocean-blue eyes are filled with mischief as she bounds over to me.
After squeezing me in a quick hug, Charlie steps back to lean against the island opposite me.
She’s a few inches shorter than me, but her massive personality more than makes up for it. I’ve always wanted to be more like her. Someone who speaks my mind, is unapologetically me, and doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.
I’m working on it, and I hope one day I’ll get there.
“There’s a really fucking badass Kawasaki bike in your parking lot,” Charlie tells me.
She’s practically bouncing up and down, she’s so excited.
“I know I’ve pushed you toward a Yamaha liter bike, but the ZX-6R could be a great fit.
It’s Kawi green, which you’re psychotic enough to like, a bit more manageable than an R1, and it still goes pretty fast. I think it would honestly be perfect for you. ”
I snort at her enthusiasm, but that’s just how she is about bikes. Charlie is the reason I got into them in the first place.
While my parents tried to suppress my tomboy interests and rough-and-tumble personality as a kid, she liked all the same stuff and had supportive parents who practically adopted me.
Her older brother, Cooper, was into dirt bikes.
By five years old, we both had our own and were spending all our free time on tracks and trails.
My parents hated how much time I spent on my dirt bike, out adventuring, or playing sports with Charlie. But as long as I cleaned up, put on a pretty dress, and arrived at the appointed time for them to show off our perfect family, they didn’t stop me.
It wasn’t until I was an adult that they really started restricting what I did and who I spent time with. Even as hard as they tried, they were never able to keep me from Charlie. Good thing, too, because I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for Charlie and Coop.
Shaking off my morose thoughts, I grab my keys from the small army green ceramic bowl next to me and toss them at her. She catches them deftly.
It takes Charlie a moment to put together what the keys are for. When she does, her eyes light up, and she bounces on her toes. “No way! That’s your bike?”
“Yep. I bought it last night.”
I mean, I acquired it last night? Does it count as buying if I never actually gave anyone money for it?
The whole situation is still weird, but I’m not really sure what to do about it. I could text Hal, but that feels like it’d be inviting trouble.
“That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you, babe.
Dealerships are fucking terrifying, even for me, so it took a lot of lady balls to go there yourself.
” Charlie’s eyes mist a little, but she darts in for a bear hug before I can say anything.
By the time she pulls away, the only emotion on her face is excitement.
“We need to go on a ride together! Are you free now?”
I huff a laugh because I knew exactly what she’d want to do once she found out about my bike. “I’m free the rest of the night. Did you ride here?”
She’s not wearing any gear, so I don’t think she did.
Charlie has an entire closet devoted to motorcycle gear. It’s filled with a ton of one-piece leather race suits, matching leather pants and jackets, street-styled outfits, dirt bike gear, adventure-slash-touring suits, and more. It’s insane but awesome.
I’m only a teensy bit jealous. I know if she got even a whiff of that, though, a brand-new, wildly expensive riding wardrobe would show up at my apartment the next day.
It means the world to me how much my best friend cares, but I need to prove to myself that I can do this all on my own. I need to know that I can stand on my own two feet with only the money I earn to silence the doubts my parents, Andrew, and everyone else planted.
“Nah, but I can ride your bike back to the house for you. You’ll be an adorable passenger!” Charlie moves to pinch my cheeks like an overeager grandma, but I slap her hands away. She giggles at my disgruntled expression.
I roll my eyes at her. “I’m not backpacking on my own damn bike, Charlie. I’ll ride it to the house, and you can follow me in your car.”
She and Coop are the only ones I trust enough to ride behind, but I still don’t want to be a passenger on my own machine. I’m not comfortable enough on my bike to have her as a backpack, either, so she’ll just have to drive.
“Fine, be that way.” Charlie pouts for a moment before making a chop-chop motion at me. “Well, go get ready! I wanna be out by the river by golden hour, so hurry up.”
I go to my room to get changed. It only takes me a minute or two to throw on my armored jacket, jeans, and riding boots that look just like regular combat boots. My hair’s still braided from last night, so I don’t have to do anything on that front.
Grabbing my helmet and gloves, I head back out to see Charlie scrolling through my phone.
She looks up as I grab my keys from her. “Who’s Hal? He texted, asking if you wanted to ride tonight. I told him you’re busy riding with someone much cooler.”
“You didn’t!” I snatch my phone back to see Hal’s message but nothing from me. I blow out a relieved breath before catching Charlie’s intrigued expression. I wince as I realize I revealed too much with my reaction. “Well, we better get going. Golden hour and all that jazz.”
I practically sprint out to the parking lot to avoid her questions, completely forgetting we always ride connected. As soon as I have my helmet and comms on, I get a call from Charlie. I debate ignoring it but eventually pick up.
“Soooo, wanna tell me who Hal is?” Charlie’s voice is dripping with curiosity and mischievousness. She’s definitely enjoying the fact that I’m a little messed up over Hal, Rook, and Azrael.
“Nope. You ready to go?” I’m a pro at avoidance and misdirection at this point. Although, there’s nothing really to talk about. Hal is just a stupidly hot and super kind guy who I need to stop thinking about.
“Yep, I’m ready.” At Charlie’s confirmation, I pull out of the parking lot with her Mercedes SUV right behind me. “Hmm, you must really like this Hal if you’re this secretive about him. Good for you, girl. It’s high time you started getting some.”
She’s been gently pushing me to start dating for the past month. Charlie thinks dating will help me get over everything that happened. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I don’t think I will ever believe in relationships and happily ever afters, at least not anymore.
But I’ve refused to go on any dates, much to her dismay. I know I’ll eventually give in because I’m still a pushover, as hard as I’m working not to be, but I’m staying strong for now.
I groan, wishing she’d just drop it. “I’m not getting any, Char. And he’s just a guy from the dealership who doesn’t understand boundaries.”
While it’s technically true that he’s a dude from the dealership, it’s not the whole story. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest in excitement when Charlie said I had a text from him, which is exactly why I need to stay away from him.
She makes a noise of disagreement but lets the subject drop.