Chapter 28
LARK
My eyes go wide at Azrael’s comment, and my heart starts beating hard, which makes my still-injured head throb painfully. While shifting healed me enough to string a thought together, my head is still pretty banged up.
I’ve kept what I am a secret for so long out of fear of what would happen if anyone found out. Azrael’s comment doesn’t really do anything to ease that worry.
He’s dressed just as intimidatingly as usual, in a perfectly tailored black suit and matching shirt and tie. I’d like to think he would look less threatening in a tee and jeans, but I can’t imagine him ever dressing down that much.
Without taking his spring-green gaze off me, Hal reaches back and slugs Azrael in the arm. Azrael looks so offended at the move that I’d laugh if I weren’t trying so hard not to fall apart.
As soon as I saw Hal, the numbness that was blocking all the emotions roiling under the surface started to crack. Now, I’m trying my damnedest not to break down into a sobbing, shaking mess. I don’t want the guys to see me like that.
“Do you know what you are, wild girl?” Hal asks quietly, like I’m a wild animal he’s afraid to spook. That honestly might not be far from the truth right now, as everything in me is screaming to run away and not look back.
Unable to force any words out of my bruised and sore throat, I just shake my head. I wish I knew what I was, but I don’t. It’s been a mystery since the first time I shifted, one I’ve guarded closely for fear of what could happen if anyone found out.
“Well, the good news is we know exactly what you are. You’re one of us. There’s nothing to be scared of.” He gives me what’s supposed to be a reassuring smile, but the worry in his gaze kind of ruins the effect.
Still, a tiny seed of hope blooms in my chest. He not only knows what I am but is also the same thing I am. I never thought I’d find anyone like me or ever figure out why I have weird eyes and can shift into so many different creatures.
“What am I?” I rasp.
“It’s going to make more sense if I show you, but I can’t do that here.” His face is apologetic, and I, admittedly, feel disappointed. But I can wait a little longer. Shoving a hand through his brown hair, Hal asks, “Can you tell me what happened?”
I close my eyes at his question, shame and regret and lingering anger coursing through me.
While I know I killed Andrew to save myself, it doesn’t really ease the guilt like I would’ve thought. I’m still beating myself up for not finding another way out of the situation, despite the vile things he wanted to do to me.
My eyes burn with tears that I try my best not to let fall. A rogue one drips down my cheek, and I angrily swipe it away. I don’t want to cry right now. Not when I’m so raw and broken inside, because I know it’ll just break me more.
“Yeah, um,” I start, my voice rough and uncertain. “I told you I left home earlier this year. My parents and ex-fiancé were… less than thrilled about it—”
“You were engaged?” Azrael interrupts to ask, his voice colored with a shock that doesn’t show on his impassive face.
Hal twists around to give Azrael a look. Azrael rolls his eyes, a strangely humanizing gesture for the intimidating man. Huffing, Hal faces forward again and gives me his full attention.
When I called Hal, I didn’t really think through who all he’d bring. I was just desperate to have someone here who might know what to do with a dead body.
I’d have preferred Hal to come alone, so the other guys didn’t see firsthand just what kind of monster I can be. But I’d rather the three of them tag along than have to deal with Azrael. At least he’s been cordial so far, I guess.
Giving Azrael a tight nod, I stare down at my hands, unable to look either of them in the eyes.
“Yeah. I was until seven months ago, when he tried to kill me the first time. He found me and came here to drag me back home to be his incubator. He planned to do some pretty awful things to me and was choking me out. When I was almost passed out, my creature took over, shifted into a massive anaconda and killed him, as you can see.”
Hal’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “You can shift?”
It’s my turn to be confused. If he’s the same thing as me, he should know all about the weird shifting. “Yeah. I can shift into pretty much any animal that’s ever existed. Can’t you do the same thing, since we’re the same?”
He gives me a small smile. “Not quite, wild girl. While we’re the same thing, there are a bunch of different subsets of what we are. Different secondary abilities, if you will. Mine has to do with fire, Az’s is lightning, and yours is shifting, if that makes sense.”
I nod.
“Yours is rare, though,” Azrael adds. “I’ve only ever met one other with your ability. He used to be part of our valor.”
Great. So I’m weird, even to the people I’m supposed to fit in with. Just my luck.
Sighing, I move to shove my hands through my hair but pause when I see the blood all over them.
My hands start to shake as I stare at the evidence of my crime.
My skin crawls at the physical proof of just how dirty I am on the inside.
I have the urge to scrub and scrub and scrub until I manage to clean myself from the inside out.
“I didn’t mean to,” I choke out as I stare at the blood on my hands. “Kill him, I mean.”
Hal covers my hands with his, breaking my stare off with the blood. “You are never going to get any judgment from any of us for killing that piece of shit or anyone else who threatens or harms you, wild girl. Never. Do you understand me?”
My gaze jerks up in surprise at the vehemence in Hal’s tone. He’s usually so easygoing, gentle, or excited. I’ve never heard him with such a sharp tone, and it shocks me into compliance.
“Yeah,” I find myself saying, even though I don’t really believe it.
“Good.” He flashes me a savage grin that’s more of a baring of teeth than a smile. “If you hadn’t killed him, I definitely fucking would have for even thinking of touching you, let alone putting his hands on your pretty little throat. If that makes you feel any better.”
My lip wobbles, and I shake my head. “It would still be my fault.”
Hal sighs and opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by Rook walking around the sofa.
Rook’s gaze bounces between the three of us before settling on Azrael. “Az, Colt and Remy could use your help with… removing evidence. If you could call the cleaners, that’d be helpful too.”
Azrael looks at me for a long moment. His golden gaze roves over my face, like he’s trying to see inside my soul or something. When he pushes to his feet what feels like an eternity later, I let out a sigh of relief. His lips tip up in dark amusement as he turns around.
Pushing past Rook, Azrael stalks back to the crime scene that I thankfully can’t see right now. I’ll have the image of Andrew’s mangled body burned into my brain forever, though.
Crouching down so he’s eye level with me, Rook gives me a reassuring smile. “How are you, dove?”
I want to laugh at the question. How am I? Besides the fact that I learned that my ex-fiancé planned to kidnap and assault me, and what all Marcus did to Wren, he means?
Just fucking peachy.
“I’ve been better,” I reluctantly admit.
His lips curve up at the edges into a ghost of a smile, lined with sorrow and a touch of pity. “Yeah, I’ll bet. I’m sure this isn’t how you wanted to spend your evening.”
I shrug. “I’m sure it’s not how you wanted to spend yours.”
“I wish this hadn’t happened to you, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than by your side, helping you through it as best as I can,” Rook tells me earnestly. If I weren’t so numb, his sincere want to be there for me would make my heart mushy.
“We’re all here for you, wild girl,” Hal agrees. “But I know I’d feel safer if we could get you back to our territory. Do you feel well enough to move so we can get you cleaned up and dressed? It’s okay if you need longer, though.”
I appreciate him not pushing or pressuring me. I’m sure he’d rather be literally anywhere than here with a dead body and a girl barely hanging on, but he doesn’t act like it. He behaves as if he could kneel here all night.
But I’d like nothing more than to wash Andrew and his blood off me. I can smell the coppery tang of blood all around me, and I can feel it drying and sticking on my skin.
Struggling to my knees, I shakily make my way to my feet. I manage to take a step before my legs collapse under me, the adrenaline that powered my shift and partial healing completely absent now.
Hal catches me before I hit the ground, his strong arms wrapping around me like a lifeline. In one smooth movement, he lifts me into his arms, bridal style. He somehow manages to keep me covered in my now-ruined blanket the whole time.
Holding me like he’s afraid the wrong movement will severely injure me, Hal carefully makes his way into my bedroom. My raging headache is thankful for his consideration as even the small amount I’m jostled makes me feel like I’m going to throw up.
I don’t really have the energy to question how Hal knows exactly where my bathroom is. I just chalk it up to it being a small apartment.
He pauses outside of the bathroom door, and Rook steps up next to him.
They have a silent conversation before Rook says, “Are you okay with me getting into the shower with you, dove? I’m really worried about you slipping and hurting yourself without someone there.
If you have a bathing suit, you can wear that, and I’ll keep my boxers on. ”
I’m nodding before he’s even finished. Yeah, it’ll be weird showering with him. But I’m desperate to get clean and aware enough to know I can’t do it myself right now. “Yeah. I have a suit in my dresser.”
I point over at the cheap white dresser next to my closet.