Chapter Thirty-Five
Arya
I can’t believe he’s here, much less putting me back together after the horrible day I’ve had.
I’ve been thrust from a nightmare into a magical dream.
When his fingers graze my shoulders after lathering my favorite lotion into his palm, all I feel is the warmth of his touch and not the coldness of the cream. He gently massages it down my body, as if scared to hurt my skin more than it already does.
I was too harsh. Probably would’ve made myself bleed had he not shown up.
What made him come here? Could he tell I was lying? I thought I was convincing.
“You weren’t.”
I narrow my gaze at Nathan, accusing, “Are you a mind reader?”
“You whisper your thoughts out loud,” he teases, skimming his hands down my belly and moving to my back.
“It doesn’t happen with anyone else.”
“I must be psychic then.” A smirk curves his lips. “Only when it comes to you.”
I snicker before probing, “How did I give myself away on the call?”
“Bad acting.” A dark shadow darkens his features. “And I could tell you were upset the second I heard your voice. Since I knew you wouldn’t tell me the truth on the phone, I drove here.”
“You got here very quickly.” The restaurant is more than one hour away from my building.
“I might have broken a few traffic signals.”
My eyes widen, and my stomach dips with fear. “You shouldn’t have done that, Nathan. Do you know how many people get into road accidents daily due to reckless driving?”
His gray eyes turn smoldering and soft at my worry disguised as a reprimand. “Don’t lie to me again and I won’t drive over the speed limit.”
“Something tells me you would’ve still raced over here.”
“I’ll always make it to you in one piece.” Walking me backward, he quietly orders, “Sit.”
“First promise me you will never drive fast or break signals,” I demand. I can’t bear the thought of him getting injured.
Sensing my nerves, he sighs reverently. “I promise.”
Satisfied, I lower myself onto the bed. My pulse skyrockets when he kneels in front of me, grabs my right ankle and puts it on his thigh. Grabbing the moisturizer, he squeezes a small amount to rub along my calf.
Goosebumps erupt on my flesh the higher his hand climbs up my thigh. His touch isn’t meant to be sexual, yet I turn into a ball of need.
He’s conditioned my body into this.
It’s exactly what I need to erase the memory of my molester.
Nathan moves to my other leg, rubbing soothingly and with so much care that it takes my breath away. Aryan had never pampered or worshipped every part of me like Nathan does. He’s healing the cracks inside my heart without even realizing it.
Peering at his sinful face, I can no longer deny the truth.
I have deeper feelings for him.
More than infatuation.
More than lust.
An emotion far more profound.
“Ari?”
I blink at him, pushing my inner musings into a dark corner. “Yeah, Nathan?”
“You good?” Concern flickers in his steely eyes.
“I’m okay.”
“Stand for me,” he softly urges.
Once I do, he picks my panties that he brought out of my closet, turning my cheeks red. I hide them behind my hair, placing my hands on top of his shoulders when he helps me into them.
I can’t believe I’m letting him dress me. Or how nice it feels under his undivided attention.
“I thought you didn’t do boyfriend things,” I repeat his major rule.
“I don’t.” He pushes to his feet, tilting his head down to stare at me intensely. “Any decent human being would do this.”
No. Only a man who cares would. “Hmm, I thought you were only interested in doing indecent things to me.”
“I can be a deviant and a protector without putting labels on it.” Picking my bra next, he slides the straps up my arms one by one. Pressing his solid chest flush against my breasts, he runs his fingers along the hook and attaches it.
Basking in the heat emanating from his muscular body, I wrap my arms around his waist. Propping my chin right below his pecs, while his hand threads into my hair, I raise a brow. “What’s wrong with labels?”
“They imply commitment. I’m incapable of it.”
Incapable or closed off?
“You and Iris were together for four years,” I say softly, feeling him tense a little at her name. “It was a commitment, even if it was of convenience.”
“Look how it ended.”
I want to ask exactly how as Bianca’s accusations swirl in my brain. But I can sense his wall slowly building back up. I selfishly need more of his tender side a little longer.
I’m starved for his affection, his touch, and all the secrets and pain he’s hiding inside his sealed heart.
He steps back to finish putting on the rest of my clothes. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Stretching up with my hands resting on his shoulders, I kiss him. No tongue. Just a small peck against his lips. “Thank you for being here for me, Nathan. I needed you.”
His chest caves as he inhales sharply. My confession hitting some deeper part of him that leaves him shaking. He masks it just as quickly, a cold look penetrating his eyes.
“I want to ask you a few questions, then I’ll order us lunch.”
“Okay.”
“Do you remember on which street he got off the bus?”
I filter through the memories and remember the bus conductor announcing the street name right before the bus stopped. “It was Balaji Road.”
“Who else got off at the stop?”
“Just him and a random girl.”
“Which area did your car break down? Do you remember the time?”
“Margaret Street. I had my car towed before taking the bus around twelve-thirty pm.” His interrogation makes me apprehensive. “Why are you asking all of this?”
“You don’t need to know,” he mysteriously answers. Kissing my forehead, he switches the subject. “Should I order Chinese like last time for you?”
“Yes, please.”
Sidestepping me, he heads for the exit and pulls out his phone. He’s almost to the door when I blurt out before I can think better of it, “Do you think you can fall in love again?”
With me? my heart screams. Because I think I’m falling for you.
He turns, face devoid of emotions. “What makes you think I was ever in love?”
“Weren’t you?”
Nothing in his expression changes as he watches me intensely. My stomach knots, waiting for him to shut me out when suddenly his gaze turns warm yet sad. “I thought I was. But I am not so sure anymore.”
Because of me?
He twists and walks out, leaving me speechless and in suspense.
***
Nathan also got me a tub of strawberry ice cream—my favorite, even though I’ve never told him—and chocolates. My heart full, I glance at him with Pihu cozying up on his lap. “How did you know I like strawberry ice cream?”
Petting Pihu’s fur, he answers, “Saw the leftover tub the last time I was here.”
“I didn’t know you were this observant,” I tease. “You’d make one hell of a detective.”
His lips quirk. “I might have to switch professions if I’m not the CEO after the next board meeting.”
“I won’t let that happen.”
“I believe you.”
“What then?” I sense he wants to say something more.
Tilting his head against the back of the couch, he shares, “I don’t think it’ll bother me if they chose someone else.”
His revelation shocks me. “I thought you loved your company. You’re an amazing leader and businessman, Nathan. I researched Singhania and Sons and you’ve taken it to heights your father couldn’t.”
“I was never supposed to be the leader,” he tightly says. “The legacy was Kian’s to carry.”
Except he left their family and built his own from the ground up. There are rumors circulating but I don’t know the real story or reason behind Kian’s separation from his family.
“I was just a replacement,” Nathan utters, staring at the ceiling. There’s a deeper meaning in his statement that I can’t pinpoint.
“So, you never wanted to be the CEO?”
“What I wanted didn’t matter. The responsibility fell on my shoulders. No way my father was letting his other son walk away from our company.”
“How old were you when Kian left?”
His jaw tightens. “Fourteen.”[RK20]
Anguish and anger waft off him. I want to hug him, but all I say is, “I’m sorry your brother walked away. I know more than anyone how it feels.”
The older siblings are a friend and a parental figure combined in one.
They’re your biggest protector and confidante.
Losing them is akin to losing a limb. Becoming separated because of backstabbing, misunderstandings, and fights is crueler than losing them in death.
Because you know they’re out there, but you can never go to them.
My second chance with Bianca is like a lifeline to me.
Nathan turns his head, his eyes mirroring the hurt and guilt in mine. “Why did you push Bianca toward a marriage?”
Of course he knows. Iris must’ve told him.
“So many reasons,” I say with a hollow laugh.
“I was selfish. All I cared about was my happiness. I put Aryan before her. I felt stuck because I knew Papa would never marry me off before Bianca. Aryan kept scaring me that he can’t wait forever for me and that his parents will soon start looking for girls for him.
When I look back at it now, I feel so stupid.
If Aryan truly loved me, he would’ve stood up to his parents.
Like Bianca did for Dash. Aryan was full of red flags I didn’t notice.
And I ended up hurting the one person who loved me unconditionally that she would sacrifice herself for me. ”
I don’t realize I’m crying until Nathan brushes my tears away. He has shifted closer to me without my noticing. Curling an arm around my shoulders, he tugs me into his side.
“You have her back in your life. It all worked out.”
“I regret all of it.” I sniffle. “It’s my fault my family is broken up.”
“Don’t blame yourself, angel. You were in love.” Rubbing the length of my spine, he utters the brutal truth. “For all I know, it’s your father’s fault. He’s the one who asked Bianca to choose between your family and her husband.”
“He blames me for my broken engagement too,” I whisper, snuggling against his chest. “He hasn’t spoken to me since, unless it’s to warn me not to bring more shame to the family.”
“Your father is a piece of work.” His hold on me tightens. “He doesn’t deserve you as a daughter.”
“Neither does your father deserve you as a son.” Tilting my head until our eyes meet, I say, “He pressured you into working in the family business, didn’t he?”
A faraway look descends on his face. “Something like that.”
“You’re not a kid anymore. You can walk away and do something else if your heart isn’t in Singhania and Sons.” It’ll solve all his problems, especially his father’s alleged covert attempts to damage his career.
“You know I can’t do that, Ari,” he replies in resignation. “There’s too much at stake.”
“But you aren’t happy.”
“I haven’t been happy in a very long time.” His voice is low and lifeless. “I’m used to it.”
An agonizing pang hits my chest. How long has he been suffering and no one noticed? I’ve known and felt it from the first moment I met him.
Nobody can convince me that Nathan is a manipulator or a bad man I need to stay away from.
I decide right here and now that I will fix him and give him all the happiness in the world that he deserves.
I’m going to tear down your walls until I see all your scars and heal you, Nathan.
“That’s unacceptable.” I cup the side of his face, running my thumb along his square jaw with light stubble. “Tell me… what can I do right now to make you happy, even if it’s for a moment.”
His hand comes up to rest on mine. His brows knit together in anguish. “I can’t let you make me happy, angel.”
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
The rule of not falling for each other. “What if I want more?”
“I can’t give you more,” he says, bleeding my heart. “Don’t ask me for more, Arya.”
He presses on my wrist when I stay silent.
“Okay,” I lie. “I’ll accept whatever you’re willing to give.” For now.
“Trust me, it’s for your own good.”
And people call him selfish. “What about what’s good for you? Don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
“No, I don’t,” he answers without missing a beat, believing in it wholeheartedly. “I’ve hurt people close to me intentionally. You don’t want to be with a man like me.”
“So have I, Nathan. Does that mean I should punish myself?”
“You did it for love. I did it for revenge.” A shutter drops over his face so I can’t see his demons. “Those two aren’t the same.”
He rips open my heart with his devastating confession. I want to yell at him that he’s wrong. There’s heavy regret in his tone. A person whose sole motive is to seek revenge won’t carry the guilt.
The pinging of his cell breaks the gloomy tension.
Removing his arm from around me, he leans forward to grab his phone from the coffee table. He spent the entire afternoon with me. His employees are probably vying for his attention.
I lift a sleeping Pihu off his lap and lay her in the corner.
To give Nathan privacy, I start clearing our plates. The ice cream has melted, turning into a smoothie. Walking to my kitchen, I put the tub in the freezer.
“Ari?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
Turning away from the sink, I meet him halfway at the kitchen island. The energy rolling off him is dark and menacing, making me nervous.
Did something occur at his office?
I startle when he slides his phone to me, asking, “Was it him?”
Picking it up, I look down at an image and inhale sharply. The man who molested me stares back at me. My grip going lax, I stammer, “Y-yes.”
Nodding tersely, he takes his phone back and pockets it.
“How did you find him?” And in mere hours. More importantly, what is he planning to do with the information? Take him to the police?
“A favor from a friend.”
“But why?” I murmur, clutching the edge of the counter.
“He hurt you.” Circling to my side, he cups my face possessively. “No one’s allowed to bring you pain and walk away unpunished. I’ll make sure he pays.”
I melt against him, blinking back tears. “Thank you.”
He hugs me and kisses the top of my head. Always being my knight in a powerful suit.
“I have to run now, angel,” he utters, pulling back. “Can your friend come over so you’re not alone?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Call her.” An order.
“I’ll invite Anaya to stay with me tonight.”
“Good girl.”
I rise on my toes and crash my lips against his, coaxing them open with my tongue. He surges forward like a feral wolf, shoving me hard against the counter. Slanting his head, he takes charge and kisses me deeply for a minute.
Reluctantly, he peels his mouth away, groaning, “I really have to go.”
“Okay,” I pant, straightening his tie.
Forcing himself to put space between us, he roams his heated gaze down the length of my body.
His eyes shut for a lingering breath as if the sight of me flushed from his kiss is too much for him. When they reopen, his mask is in place. “Bye, angel.”
“Bye, Nathan.”