Chapter 13
thirteen
MAVERICK
The night air is cold where it bites against my skin. I snuggle closer to the warm body next to me. Icy blue eyes meet mine, lips slowly curling into a smile. He’s breathtaking like this, relaxed and happy, the moonlight reflecting in his eyes.
We’ve been lying in the bed of his old pickup truck, nestled together in some musty blankets, just looking up at the stars.
It’s our version of a date night anytime we have to come home from college.
My parents would never approve, and Ezra wanted to wait to come out to everyone else.
Not because he wants to keep me a secret, but because we both know that once we’re out and together in public, my parents will try to separate us.
“Do you think it’ll always be like this?” I rub my cold nose against his before burrowing my face into his neck. I love the way he smells, like fresh air mixed with his spicy cologne.
“Like what?” he asks, pulling me even closer, his big hands running up and down my spine.
“This. This feeling I get whenever I’m near you.
The way my skin tingles when you touch me, or my heart races just because you smiled at me.
How comfortable and safe I feel just being in your orbit.
I don’t know how else to explain what this feeling is, but I don’t want it to go away.
” I say all of this into his neck, not wanting to look into his eyes in case he’s not feeling the same way.
I hate being vulnerable, but it’s not as scary with him.
Ezra’s quiet for so long I risk looking up at him. He’s smiling that brilliant smile of his. “I love you, too.”
I gasp. We haven’t said those words to each other yet, and even though my instinct is to panic, it never comes.
Love.
Ezra loves me.
“That’s what this feeling is? Love?” I ask like an idiot. But Ezra just smiles, this time it’s tinged with a little sadness because he knows. He knows that I’ve never really felt love before. Definitely not in my house growing up. Here and now with him, though? Yeah, I think it might be love.
“Yeah, sweetheart. That’s love. I love you. I love you so much my chest aches just from looking at you.”
“I think that’s a heart attack, Ezra,” I say, trying to sound playful.
“It’s love, Maverick.” He holds my gaze, waiting for me to argue. I don’t. I can’t.
“I love you.”
His smile is back to brilliant, blinding. “I love you, too.”
The icy blue eyes fade and sharpen into dark brown. Two sets of eyes for the two people I care about the most but are so different from each other in every way possible. Maybe that’s why I attached myself to Jo the way I did. She’s Ezra’s antithesis. His opposite in almost every way.
“Wake up, sleepyhead. We have to head out in twenty,” she says, smiling gently at me. It’s a smile she reserves for me, like she’s afraid I’ll be spooked and run if her emotions are too strong. She’s probably not wrong. I haven’t been the most stable person lately.
I sit up with a groan. I fell asleep on the couch at a weird angle and now my neck is stiff. Jo sits on the arm, massaging my neck with one hand while texting with the other. If multi-tasking were an Olympic sport, she would take home the gold every time.
“Your fingers are magic,” I say with a small moan. I didn’t mean to let it slip out, and I feel her fingers freeze for a moment before resuming their work.
Way to make things awkward, Mav.
Jo ignores the sound, thankfully. “Kai went back to his house to get Belle and his car. We’re riding with them. Willa and Declan are meeting us there. Declan had a photoshoot in the city for a sponsorship deal.”
“And Cal is going to video in?” I miss that big, goofy idiot.
“Yup,” she says, locking her phone and standing. She holds out her hand to me, and I take it, letting her pull me up. “Do you need to get ready or anything?”
I frown, looking down at myself. I’m wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt. It’s not exactly fancy, but we’re not going out to a club.
“No?”
“Okay. I didn’t know if you wanted to brush your teeth or put cologne on or anything,” she says, her cheeks turning an adorable shade of red.
“Angel, what the hell are you talking about? Do I smell or something?” I sniff my armpit. Nope. I smell great.
“No. It’s not that, but if things go well . . . I didn’t know . . . I mean, it’s Ezra.” Jo is staring down at her feet as she mumbles. “Never mind, it’s stupid.” She tries to walk away, but her hand is still in mine, so I hold on.
“It’s not stupid, angel. I appreciate you thinking about that, but even if what he says justifies everything, which there’s no way it will, Ezra and I are not in that place right now.
” I’ve had a couple weeks and several emergency sessions with my therapist to come to terms with my reaction to Ezra being back.
I was having a hard time reconciling the way I reacted to the dreams I had of me running into his arms and picking up where we left off.
My dreams were unrealistic at best, and now I understand that.
My trust in him has been broken, whether intentional or not, and that needs to be in place before any sort of relationship can happen.
Jo looks up at me, her eyes showing sadness and understanding. She’s the most empathetic person I know. It’s how she’s pulled me out of the dark so many times. She just gets it, gets me, and still cares about me anyway. That’s why she’s my angel.
I thought she would scoff at the nickname, which is why I only had the courage to say it to her when I was intoxicated. I’m so glad she didn’t. If anything, she smiles brighter whenever I use it.
An obnoxious horn sounds from the driveway. I sigh and roll my eyes. Kai is as patient as ever.
“Let’s go before he leaves us here.”
Jo nods and follows me, her hand still in mine.