Chapter 38
thirty-eight
MAVERICK
My grip on Jo’s hand is definitely too tight, but she doesn’t say anything.
We’re both just watching Ezra. He’s as still as a statue and so far from the gentle man I remember, I suddenly feel the sting of tears in my eyes.
I don’t know what to say to him. What is there to say?
Thank you for protecting my best friend, but can you turn back into the man I love and not this intimidating stranger?
I don’t think he’d take that well. Hell, I’m not the man he once loved either, so it would be really hypocritical of me to ask that of him.
“There’s only two beds,” he says, breaking the silence, but not the lack of emotion in his expression.
“You can just share with me,” Jo says, and there’s something in her voice that almost sounds sad.
“We’ve shared a bed before,” I point out, confused about what the emotion is that I can’t identify. Should I offer to take the couch? I wouldn’t fit on it, but I’ll do it if sharing a bed with me again makes her uncomfortable.
“Get some rest,” Ezra says before Jo can respond. He’s slamming his laptop shut and halfway down the stairs that I assume lead to a basement before I can blink.
“Okay?”
“He needs to go hit something. It’s better if we just leave him to it and try to talk to him in the morning.”
I frown and look at Jo, realizing she knows Ezra better than I do now. Or this version of him, anyway. Maybe it’s time I accept that there aren’t two Ezras, just this one. Whoever that is.
I let her tug me up the stairs and to her bedroom. I immediately strip down to my boxers and climb under the covers. The bed is so comfortable; I groan as I snuggle down into it. Jo laughs as she slides in next to me.
“Motel beds are not comfortable,” I say, mid-yawn.
“I’d imagine not. Especially since you’re used to five-star hotels,” she says, laughing at how spoiled she knows I am. She’s the one who books the hotels after all.
I pull Jo into me, and she snuggles up, feeling like a missing limb has been returned. The room is bright, reminding me that the sun is still high in the sky and it’s not even close to bedtime.
“Why do we have to wait to talk to Ezra until morning?” I ask.
Jo stiffens in my arms, but answers. “Just trust me. He needs to work out everything in his own head before he’ll even hear a word we have to say. It’s like talking to a really grumpy wall if you try before he’s ready.”
That unfamiliar feeling of jealousy pecks at me.
I’ve never felt it regarding Jo, but now she knows Ezra in a way I don’t.
Better than I do. Possibly better than I ever will if his attitude earlier is anything to go by.
I hate it. I hate how confusing my feelings are. I wish I could just shut them off.
“How come you threw his phone over the cliff?” I ask in an attempt to stop spiraling.
“Because he had a missed call from Kai on his phone, and I thought that meant he was communicating with you without me knowing.”
Frowning, I lean over the side of the bed and grab my jeans, fishing in the pocket for the burner I kept. It’s still there.
“What time was that?”
I feel Jo shrug against my side. “An hour before you got here. Maybe two. I’m not sure how long I was sitting on the beach.”
“Son of a bitch!” I shout, sitting straight up and accidentally knocking Jo to the side. “That motherfucker! I’m going to kill him!”
“Who?” Jo asks. She’s frowning as she looks at the phone in my hand.
“Kai! I have his phone, and it took me four hours to get here!” I’m still shouting. I can’t seem to stop.
“He has two,” Jo surmises immediately. “Ezra was communicating with Kai and not you.” Jo groans and rubs her eyes. “I need to apologize to him.”
“I spent days calling Gavin and begging him to tell me where you were, and Kai could’ve just asked this whole time! I could’ve been here sooner!”
Jo grabs my face and forces me to look at her. “No. Ezra wouldn’t have given our location to anyone. Not even his twin. I need you to understand that before you do something you regret.”
I do know that, but my overwhelming emotions are making it hard to believe it. It’s always been my biggest flaw. The one my parents loved to exploit. The one Eva knew would trigger me into a downward spiral.
“You’re too emotional, Maverick.”
“This is too much, Maverick.”
“Stop crying, Maverick.”
Jo squishes my cheeks, making me focus on her and not my thoughts. I forgot she was holding my face.
“Don’t. You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, but you’re not allowed to feel guilty about feeling things as deeply as you do.” Her face is so serious I can’t stop the laugh that bursts out.
“Say ‘feel’ one more time.”
“Shut up,” she says, pushing my face away, but she’s smiling.
“Can we nap and talk about this later?” I ask with a yawn. She just nods, and we snuggle down together.
I haven’t felt this kind of peace in a long time.