Chapter 44
forty-four
JO
If I just keep telling myself I’m fine, then I will be.
I’ll just will it into existence. Manifestation or whatever.
With the wary look Ezra keeps giving me, I don’t think I’m pulling it off.
Hopefully, hitting something will help. I just wish the thought of hitting him had the same appeal it used to.
Don’t get me wrong, I love sparring with him. He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves, and he’s a great teacher. I just need to take my frustrations out somewhere, and he didn’t earn that. He doesn’t deserve it. I’m not sure he ever really did.
“Stop.” I frown. Ezra is glaring at me with his hands on his hips instead of wrapping them like he should be.
“Stop what?” Smiling at him while I wrap my own hands.
“That!” he yells, gesturing at my face. “It’s scary.”
“I’m sorry my face scares you?” I watch his shoulders relax when I frown. Have I not been smiling this whole time with him or was the one I’ve been plastering on my face too forced?
“That smile isn’t fooling anyone. I know you’re hurting. Don’t act like everything is fine.”
“Everything is fine. You and Maverick will reconnect, and Patrick will be caught. Then we’ll go our separate ways.” I stayed up most of the night thinking about it. Once this is all over, I’m going to travel for a bit and settle somewhere far from here. From them.
“Look,” Ezra says, sighing. “I don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck here, and I don’t know where Maverick’s head is. He might not want to be with either of us. But we can’t survive out here by hiding our emotions. We’ll take each other out before Patrick gets the chance.”
I flinch, knowing he’s right. “I’m embarrassed,” I admit. “And really worried that I ruined my friendship with Maverick.”
“You didn’t, angel.” I look over Ezra’s shoulder to see a sleepy Maverick. He’s still in his clothes from yesterday, and his hair is sticking up in every direction. I don’t move as he approaches me or when he throws his arms around me. “Never. I swear. You’ll never lose me.”
I sag against him, slowly wrapping my arms around his waist. He smells like sleep and Maverick, but also a little spicy, like Ezra. It’s like a knife to the chest, and I can’t hold back the tears. Maverick must misinterpret them as relief, but I think I just broke a little more.
“I’ve got you. Always,” Maverick whispers into my hair. I catch my breath and dry my cheeks, pulling away gently.
“I still think you guys need to get to know each other again.”
Ezra and Maverick exchange a glance. Ezra can’t hide the hope on his face, but Maverick’s is more guarded. He turns back to me, and I can already see the argument forming on his lips, so I speak before he can.
“You have to, Maverick. It’s not fair to either of you to live with the what-ifs. I’m not telling you to jump back into a relationship. Just talk.”
Maverick sighs, and his shoulders drop a fraction. “You’re right, but I don’t want to hurt you again. You’re the most important person in my life, Jo.”
“You’d hurt me worse if you hurt yourself by ignoring him.”
I look over to Ezra, and I can see he feels awkward and keeps looking at the stairs like he wants to run up them and away from this.
Too bad for him, he can’t go very far. We’re all stuck here together now.
Otherwise, I would have already been on the other side of the country.
I considered it until I remembered Ezra telling me that his dad is pretty sure Patrick has access to facial recognition technology, and I wouldn’t get very far before he found me.
“How?” Maverick asks after a long pause.
“Baby steps,” I say, taking his hand. “Come on. Let’s have breakfast together.
Ezra and I can spar later.” Maverick nods and lets me lead him to the stairs.
Ezra shoots me a grateful look before following us.
Neither of them have spoken a word to each other.
I need to get them to change that. I need to see them back together so my stupid heart can stop pining after what it can’t have.
I watch Maverick move his food around the plate without eating anything while Ezra shovels his into his mouth to avoid speaking.
It’s the most idiotic and uncomfortable meal I’ve ever eaten.
They’ve sat themselves on opposite sides of the island and everything.
I refused to sit in the middle of them so I’m leaning with my hip against the counter and just staring at them.
They either haven’t noticed or are pretending they can’t see me. My money is on the latter.
“Okay. That’s enough.”
Ezra looks up, his cheeks stuffed so full he looks like a chipmunk. Maverick just looks guilty.
“Pick a topic. Let’s have a conversation,” I say, trying to get them started on something. They look at each other and then back at me, both looking so pathetic I decide to throw them a bone. “How about you tell us what you were doing while we were separated, Maverick?”
“Oh, uh . . .” Maverick starts, like he wasn’t expecting me to call on him first. “We hopped around hotels a lot. Covered every small town in Massachusetts and Rhode Island I think.” Ezra nodded, waiting for Maverick to elaborate, but he doesn’t.
“Did you have to share rooms? I know you said you hated the beds because you’re a princess,” I say, teasing him. He looks at me, and his eyes light up in amusement and gratitude. There was never a way I was going to protect my heart from this sweet man. I was doomed from the moment we met.
“I shared with Harrison. The couples had their own rooms. Declan is a screamer, though. I could hear him through the walls.” Maverick shudders at the memory.
Ezra barks out a laugh. “Yeah, I can see that about him.”
“Oh. Right. I forgot you know him pretty well,” Maverick says awkwardly.
They fall into silence again until Ezra looks at me and smiles. I know I’m not going to like whatever he’s about to say.
“Jo stabbed me,” he announces, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“What?” Maverick shouts, eyes wide.
“Only a little!” I defend.
“‘Only a little?’ How do you stab someone only a little?” Maverick’s voice keeps rising, but when I look at Ezra, he’s smiling one of his few genuine smiles. It makes him even more handsome.
“It was a small knife!”
Ezra winks at me, and I don’t like the way my heart flutters. Then he lifts his leg onto the stool next to him and turns so Maverick can see the raised pink scar.
“Jo!” Maverick admonishes, looking from Ezra’s leg to me and back again. “You actually stabbed him?”
“He was pretending to be a home invader and got what was coming to him.” I cross my arms over my chest and force myself not to smile when Maverick’s eyes go impossibly wide.
Ezra can’t hold it in anymore and laughs, causing me to laugh with him. Maverick relaxes back onto his stool.
“You guys were messing with me,” he says, relieved.
“Well, no. I really did stab him,” I admit with a shrug.
“It was my fault,” Ezra says and then explains what actually happened.
“I’m, uh, proud of you?” Maverick says to me, seeming very confused about how he’s supposed to feel about everything.
I snort and shake my head. I start to clean the kitchen and hear them quietly talking about how Kai and everyone else is doing. I smile despite the pain in my heart. This is what I wanted. This is what Maverick needs.