Chapter 81
eighty-one
JO
Ezra is upstairs in one of Jeanne’s guest rooms, fast asleep.
We stopped to get him food on the way. He inhaled three burgers before falling asleep.
Kai helped him up the stairs and into the shower.
I got him all tucked into bed where he was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, if not before.
My skin itches being away from him even though it’s only a floor and an unlocked door that separates us.
But we need to sit and decompress just as much as he needs to sleep.
I need it too, but I know I won’t be able to yet.
Not until we have a plan, or at least the makings of one, to find Maverick.
“Or the internet stranger was just guessing,” Willa argues.
“Maybe, but they had evidence. I didn’t get a chance it really look into it, but according to them, the death certificate was doctored and the body cremated before being properly identified.
If that’s true, it reeks of a cover-up.” That’s actually what I had just begun to research the day everything went wrong.
“But if they’re Adira, why wait until now? Why give that shitty interview lying about Ezra and Belle being together just to hurt Kai? And how the fuck would she know how to open that weird ass door?” Willa’s voice is getting increasingly louder and angrier with each question.
Kai says and leans his head back. “We’re going to have to go confront her,” he says to the ceiling.
“You don’t have to go. We can go and report back,” Declan offers.
“No, we both need to be there and find out what she’s hiding.” We all turn to the voice coming from the top of the stairs. “Come to bed, Bambi, or I’m coming down there.”
“I’ll be up soon. We need to come up with a plan to find Maverick.”
“We all need sleep, Jo. We’re useless to him like this.
Why don’t we all get a few hours and then regroup?
Harrison is looking for any properties that might belong to Patrick or an alias while he waits for Noelle to wake up,” Belle says in that gentle, but firm way she has.
I bite my bottom lip, wanting to argue, but she’s right.
I also hear the creak of the steps as Ezra tries to slowly make his way down them.
“You stay right there,” I say, pointing at him. He only made it two steps, but I can see how shaky his legs still are. I turn to the group when I’m satisfied he won’t move. “You’re right. Let’s all get some rest and wait for Harrison.”
I don’t wait for a response, moving as quickly as my tired legs will carry me.
“Don’t leave me again,” Ezra whispers into my hair the moment I step into his arms. “You can’t be out of my sight right now.
” His voice trembles, and I feel guilty for leaving him, even though I was only downstairs.
But I hated being away from him, too. It’s like if I can’t see him, he’s going to go missing again.
I suddenly know how Maverick felt when we couldn’t find Ezra on that cold, rainy day.
The sudden stab of guilt for being the cause of that takes me by surprise.
I haven’t had a single moment to think about the fight.
I don’t argue as he pulls me into his room.
I don’t fight as he takes my leggings and sweater off.
He chuckles as I get into bed before he can do that for me, too.
I have to maintain some level of independence.
He crawls in behind me, wrapping a big arm around my waist and pulling me against him.
I want to settle into his warmth and get the sleep I so desperately need, but I can’t get my brain to stop.
“Ask whatever you need, Bambi,” Ezra says, pressing his lips to the top of my head.
I spin in his hold so I can face him. “How long?” He smiles, clearly understanding what I meant.
“Probably since you stabbed me.”
I gasp in feigned outrage and try to push him away, but that just causes him to pull me closer. He gives me a chaste kiss on the lips before smiling at me. He’s looking at me with a type of wonder, like he can’t believe I’m here with him, and it’s making my eyes water.
“I’m serious. It took my brain a lot longer to catch up because I always thought of myself as a gay man. Except gay men don’t want to fuck women into the mattress.”
I ignore the throb between my legs his words cause, wanting him to continue.
“Jasper helped me put a label on what I was feeling, which actually really helped. Then, when you suggested both of us date Maverick together, I realized that maybe we could be more, too. I just didn’t know how you felt. Not until I opened my eyes today and saw how you were looking at me.”
“And how was that?” My voice is barely a whisper.
“The same way you look at Maverick.”
I don’t bother hiding my emotions from him. I’m too tired and honestly, I don’t want to anymore. I let the tears I was holding back fall freely down my cheeks as I snuggle deeper into his hold.
“We have to find him.” I don’t know if Maverick even wants to be with me anymore. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. But that won’t stop me from finding him or stealing a few hours of feeling safe and warm in Ezra’s arms.
Ezra tightens his grip on me. “We will. We’re going to find him and bring him home. Then never let him go again.”