Chapter 32
KADENCE
Ididn’t expect a Thursday to be as busy as this, but Hades was slammed. The music was loud, the lights were giving me a migraine, and the voices were all mushed together as one. Jax and I were swimming chin-deep in orders and rowdy customers.
“Whiskey—neat!”
“Four beers, sweetheart.”
“Hey baby, ova here!”
I didn’t look at them longer than I had to.
Order. Pour. Pay. Smile. Jax and I were like a well oiled machine, and we would be fine.
All I had to do was keep it moving and make them happy so I didn’t have to engage in too much needless conversation.
There was something about rowdy men wanting alcohol that made my anxiety run rampant.
I knew it stemmed from my father and his years of alcohol abuse and neglect, but I wasn’t trapped with him.
Jax and I slung drink orders back to back as we slowly killed the crowd. If we kept moving like this, we’d be back to our slow and steady pace in ten minutes tops.
“Hey!” a deep, gravelly voice bellowed as a hand grabbed my arm. It wasn’t a gentle tap, either. Fingers clamp down hard enough to leave a bruise. “Bitch, I’ve been tryin’ to get your attention.”
My breath stuttered as my chest tightened. My body seized up, paralyzed in fear as everything around me became hazy. Breathe, goddamnit. I went to pull my arm back with the ounce of adrenaline I had.
“Let go.”
“Not until you give me my damn beer!”
Jax came to my side, grabbing the man’s wrist. “I think the little lady said let her go. Now let go and get the hell away from my bar.”
“Fuck you,” the man hissed.
I heard a gun cock before seeing the man tensed slightly. My eyes went from the man to Blaize. Her face was neutral as she held her gun to the back of the man's head. “I advise you to let go of her, or we’ll be cleaning your brains off the ceiling.”
With a grunt, he let me go and I stumbled back slightly. “Damn, all this shit for one bitch? All I wanted was a drink.”
“And now you can find another club. Either leave on your own or Big Mike will throw your ass out.”
The man looked like he wanted to punch Blaize, and before anything else could happen, I sprinted away from the bar.
I needed air. I hated feeling like this.
Everything was supposed to be fine. I was doing everything correctly.
I was in therapy talking about my issues, taking medicine, and not letting my past dictate my future.
“Kadence, get your shit together,” I muttered under my breath as I dragged my fingers through my hair. “You’re safe. You’re fine.”
God. What was wrong with me?
I survived worse.
The door creaked behind me, but I didn’t look back as I heard boots hit the asphalt. Why was she out here?
“I’m fine, Blaize.”
“I didn’t ask,” she deadpanned.
I took a slow, shaky breath. This woman didn’t need to see the cracks in my defenses. She didn’t care. Not really. I glanced at her, my eyes meeting her cold gaze. She was always watching me, but I could never read the expression in her eyes. It was a push and pull, even in the silence.
“I’ve got it handled. I just needed air,” I jabbed, crossing my arms across my chest. “You didn’t have to come out here. You can go back.”
“You sure look like you got it handled.”
My jaw clenched. “I said I am fi—”
“Fine,” she cut me off. “I heard you. Didn’t mean I believed a word.” God, she was infuriating. “I saw you freeze.”
My pulse stuttered. I really hated how she watched me and read me like a damn book. “No, I didn’t. It was just a delayed reaction.”
I needed to get away from this woman before she destroyed my already crumbling walls.
She stepped closer to me, and I immediately stepped to the side, aiming for the door.
She caught my wrist with her hand. Her grip was firm enough to stop me as my breath hitched in my throat, but not painful.
Why couldn’t she just let me go? It wasn’t like she actually cared about me or my feelings.
So why was she out here pretending to care?
She loosened her grip slightly, and my back hit the brick wall behind me. “Easy, Kadence. I’m not going to hurt you.” She looked at me for a moment, studying my face. “Who was it?”
I grimaced, my brows furrowing as I diverted my eyes to the ground. “What?”
“Who hurt you?”
Fuck. “No one.” I wasn’t about to confess my trauma to this woman like a sinner in church.
She narrowed her eyes. “People don’t react like that for no reason, Kadence,” she stated, her voice filled with power.
“Someone put that fear into you.” She was watching me with curiosity, but there was something else in her honey brown gaze.
Worry? No. Something told me it would take more than a man grabbing my arm to make Blaize Matthews worry. Was it…interest?
It wasn’t the interest I had in her. She wanted to peel apart my layers and read me like a book. Blaize wanted answers I refused to give her.
“It doesn’t matter,” I whispered. My eyes found hers, and I prayed I looked more powerful than terrified. “It’s the past.”
Her jaw tightened as she stepped in closer to me. She was too close. “That doesn’t mean it’s gone, and based on the panic attacks and nightmares, it’s still getting to you.”
I needed to get away from the bar.
I needed to get away from her.
“It’s not. I’m fine, Blaize.”
The tension stretched between us, thick enough to suffocate. She didn’t ease on her gaze nor did she give me a way to escape. I was trapped between this woman and her paralyzing stare.
“You’re lying, Kadence, and I am going to figure out what demons you’re hiding.”
I swallowed hard. Defect. Scream. Do fucking something, damnit. Why was I frozen under her? “Why do you care?”
It was an honest question. She didn’t worry before. She didn’t bother with me or my feelings. All Blaize wanted was my story and my trauma, but she didn’t deserve to know.
“You’re not as fine as you pretend to be, and that causes problems for everyone.
” When she said it, she didn’t look as stern or domineering as she normally was.
Her features softened, almost like she actually cared about me and my well-being.
I didn’t like how that soft look made me feel.
When I didn’t say anything, she sighed. “Go home. Rest.”
I felt like I could finally breathe now. I slipped away from her and the wall, reaching for the door handle as I turned to look at her. “You don’t have to pretend you care, Blaize. I don’t need pity or false sympathy.”
And with that, I left her in the alleyway.