Chapter 41
KADENCE
The air was thick with dread. I couldn’t breathe, but my heart was pounding in my ears as I stepped through the eerie darkness. My eyes darted around the blackness, trying to pinpoint something, anything in the shadows. It felt all too familiar here.
I heard footsteps, heavy and powerful creeping up on me. The ground beneath my feet shifted, and I fell onto a hard mattress with a firm body straddling my hips. My breath caught in my throat, and I tried to scream, but no words escaped. No. Not again. I couldn’t handle this again.
Sharp fingers clawed at my clothes, feeling like hot needles digging into my flesh. I needed to fight, to kick, to scream, but my body was paralyzed with fear. I was going to be destroyed again, and no one would save me.
“You can’t escape me, Caden.” His voice was hot venom lashing my skin.
I needed to fight. I couldn’t let him do this to me. Not again. Not ever again. I refused to be a victim.
“I’ll always find you.”
I screamed, my body paralyzed as the blankets suffocate me.
Thank God no one busted into my room, because I didn't know how I would react if Annika or any of her men came in here.
Why was he still controlling me? I was safe and away from Dom.
From everyone who hurt me. My breathing was erratic, but it slowly started to calm down.
The clock on the nightstand read 7:30, and I hated being up this early because of a nightmare. Thankfully, I didn’t have to work tonight, or I would be miserable.
I needed to stop letting Dom and Liam control my life.
Liam was dead. He couldn’t hurt me ever again, but I was terrorized by the idea that Dom would find me.
My dad knew I was alive, but to the rest of the world, Caden was dead.
There were semantics and other things involved in the whole witness protection thing not working out, but my father and his FBI agents didn’t know where I was, which meant Dominic and the Born Killerz didn’t either. I was a dead girl walking.
The only person who knew I ran from witness protection was my psychiatrist, and she didn’t even know my real name.
She was sweet, but I couldn’t be sure if she would find someone and tell them I was here.
I guess HIPAA prevented her from doing it, but at the same time, I ran away from my police detail.
There was a desire in me to take control of my life again, but I was also scared.
Annika and the guys were amazing, but I also never told them about what happened to me.
I didn’t want to share that part of myself because then it became real.
Yes, it happened, but here, no one knew.
I could forget about what Dom and Liam did to me and move on with my life.
I was already in therapy. I would be fine.
My life was never sunshine and daisies, but maybe I could make Kadence’s life better. Even if my father found me, I was not his child anymore. Hell, I was never his child. I was my own person, creating my own life, even if I had to start from the bottom to do it.
Blaize was the ache in my chest currently, but once I could move past whatever these feelings were, I could get a hold of my life and change it.
Why did I have a thing for people who treated me like shit?
Was it a kink? Was I just stupid or desperate for love and attention, my heart choosing the first person I saw?
I stepped into the bathroom and showered.
Today would be a good day. I wouldn’t let my constant thoughts prevent me from enjoying myself.
I didn’t work tonight, but I had a meeting with Dr. Williams later.
That woman was a godsend, because what the hell?
I didn’t understand how someone could listen to other people’s problems and be amazing at advice.
When I was in nursing school, I had a desire to help people; my mental health wasn’t my specialty.
In all honesty, I wanted to work with kids.
I had a shitty life growing up, and all I wanted was one person to help me.
Talking to someone myself mortified me, but if an adult would have pulled me to the side and asked me if I was okay, maybe things would’ve been different.
Maybe my father could’ve got the help he needed, too.
Grief was a vicious beast that took more than just a person.
I lost my brother, my family, and myself.
If I was being honest, Caden died when I watched Nathan’s casket get lowered into the ground.
His death changed everything, and at six-years-old, I shouldn’t have had to learn how to survive alone.
When my shower was done, I dressed in leggings and a red t-shirt, dried my hair, and put on a subtle amount of makeup.
I wanted to go to the pier and see Nathan.
It was odd how something so terrifying was my only form of peace.
It felt odd because while the ocean took Nathan, I felt him there when I would sit by any body of water.
I made it to the pier, watching the sun dance on the water.
The surface of the ocean looked like a sapphire dream, a promise of beauty and life, but, underneath her sapphire shell, the ocean had a list of names she’d taken.
I wonder if Nathan was a ghost under the waves.
As depressing as it sounded, I wanted to know if I drowned in the ocean, would I see him again?
It would be a painful way to go. Drowning while you were awake, waiting for the moment the water seized every part of your body and there was nothing left to do but accept fate and become one with the ocean.
I always wondered if Nathan ever woke up under the waves or if he died after he collided with the rocks.
It was morbid to think about, but he never deserved to suffer.
“Hey, bubba,” I whispered. “I miss you., you know, and I wish you were here.”
I stayed there for two hours, crying into the ocean, but it made me feel better.
There were a lot of things I needed to do, and right now, I had a therapy session to get to.
I think it would be easier to tell someone else my story soon, but not yet.
Caden was gone, but she deserved justice.
First, I needed Kadence to get her life together.