Chapter 9 #2
I shove him, but he only chuckles. I haven’t been home since I last saw Eden, and instead of taking over Rohan’s sitting room again, I’m going for a change of scenery—Lochlan’s.
His whiskey collection is nowhere near as extensive, but his kitchen is better stocked.
He’s an indulgent man, which includes the treats he keeps stashed at his place that far outweigh what Rohan and I have on hand.
Stepping inside, I am reminded of the other reason I’d rather be here right now. Rohan’s house is all dark warmth and wood. It’s nice and has a lot of privacy, but it started to feel claustrophobic after a few hours.
Lochlan’s house is made almost entirely of glass—bulletproof, of course.
He completely renovated it shortly after I came into power, which was difficult to navigate.
We couldn’t allow standard contractors up here, so it was mostly an effort of the three of us and Jude along with the guards that are assigned to our homes.
Jude personally selected a trio of project managers to design different parts and oversee construction without ever knowing the final result.
While it was a pain in the arse—and I’d never want to fucking do it again—we managed to get it done without anyone ever learning the full blueprints of our houses.
It was a risk, but I couldn’t make Lochlan live in a house that haunted him any longer. I knew that he’d slept outside or at Rohan’s more over the years than he did his own home.
Now, he has the best views. The sunrise shines into his bedroom, and the sunset has a mostly unobstructed view through his living room. His kitchen has a connecting outdoor dining area, and there is an observatory off the sitting room so he can still sleep safely under the stars—Jude’s idea.
It provides protection along with the feeling of freedom. It’s always been clear that Lochlan designed it this way to keep the darkness out—he even has skylights in the bathrooms. And right now, I can empathize with needing that.
“I’m raiding your kitchen,” I tell him as I stalk inside. I know I can’t drink myself completely stupid again—at least not until the late hours of the night when I’ll need to force all the thoughts from my brain so I can sleep.
“You have your own!” Lochlan shouts from down the hall, but from the sound of his footsteps, he’s not following me. He’s going to his bedroom.
I tug off my gloves, stuffing them in my back pocket. Pushing the kitchen door open, I twist my head to shout in his direction, “And yours has enough sugar to put me in a coma!”
“Not anymore.”
My head snaps forward, hand already on my gun. But I relax when I find a petite woman on the counter, freckles dotting her face and a wide grin aimed at me as she plucks another of Lochlan’s sweets from the container.
I chuckle as I cross to her, stealing one of my own. “You didn’t leave enough for me?”
Mika shrugs a shoulder. “You know that I’m weak for these.” She leans in, lowering her voice. “I’ve gone to the stores that Lochlan says he gets these from and have never found them. I think he bribes the confectioners in the city to make him special treats.”
“He does.” I pop one in my mouth, thankful for the bitter chocolate cut with the sugary filling.
I’m not as bad as Lochlan, but I definitely like chocolate more than most people would expect.
He could survive on the sweets alone, and Rohan practically is on a liquid diet of whiskey.
I guess I'm a healthy mix of the two—a combination of their vices.
A strand of dark hair falls in her face, and Mika huffs as she shifts, pulling her hair down only to pile it back on top of her head. “You think Jude could get one in our pocket?”
“Lochlan would draw blood over his sweets. You know that.”
Her lower lip sticks out in a pout. “I bet if I asked nicely…”
I chuckle, stealing another piece. “Lochlan might have a pretty smile, but he’s ruthless.” Not that I have to tell her. Mika’s similar in that aspect. “You’ll have to get that husband of yours to threaten someone else.”
She groans. “They won’t be as good.”
I shrug, leaning back against the counter opposite her.
Lochlan’s kitchen is massive, surrounded by windows and more seating than he’ll ever use.
I think he’s hoping to have a big family one day—not that it’s really an option.
Even at this elevation, the toxic fumes on the ground have poisoned us, making it extremely hard to conceive.
“So.” Mika’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “We both know why I’m really here.”
My jaw clenches, and I look away from her, refusing to read her expression.
Jude came back within an hour of our meeting this morning, telling me that Mika was eager to see Eden.
That was hours ago, and while I almost expected her to be as feral and resistant to Mika, the idea that Eden willingly spent the entire afternoon with her friend is almost unbearable for me to hear.
I want her to feel at home. I want her to trust someone.
I just want that someone to be me.
“Kieran…” Her voice is soft, but I keep my gaze fixed out the window. “You can’t lock her up and not expect her to be pissed at you.”
“I know.” Tension tightens every one of my muscles, but I refuse to acknowledge the emotions stirring in my chest. “I needed her to calm down. I didn’t want her sneaking out and getting captured again.”
“You need to earn her trust. I get that you missed her, but the first time, you went at her pace?—“
“The first time, she didn’t already own my fucking soul, Mika.
She wasn’t in danger because of me. She knew who to trust and where was safe, and I didn’t have to worry about her being connected to rebels .
” My chest heaves as I try to get my temper back under control. “This is nothing like the first time.”
Mika hops off the counter, stepping in front of me so I have to look at her. “Then meet her where she is. Explain to her what’s going on. Show her you care.” Her eyes narrow, anger flickering in them. “But if you lock her up like that again, I’ll take her from your house myself.”
I should be pissed that she is daring to threaten me, but I can’t be. I know that I deserve it.
This situation isn’t as simple as she is making it out to be. Eden doesn’t want to be around me, and I doubt she would believe a single word out of my mouth. And show her I care? I have no clue how to do that. I’m known for being heartless for a reason.
“Did she handle your presence well?” I ask, deflecting.
Mika studies me for a moment before leaning back. “Yes.” Her lips quirk up in a cocky smirk. “But I’m charming. It took me one day to win her over last time when it took you months.”
The playful teasing doesn’t take the edge off the sting. “Did you tell her anything?”
Did you convince her this is her home? Did you help at all? Or does my wife still hate me?
I swallow back those questions. They make me feel too vulnerable, and the only time I’ve even tried to be that is with Eden.
I swear Mika can see them anyway. Her lips purse, but she shakes her head.
“I took her on a tour of the house. Introduced her to the guards. Told her about Jude, Rohan, Lochlan. Things that would help her feel comfortable.” Her head tips to the side.
“But I didn’t ask her about the rebels. And no, I didn’t bring you up. ”
“And she didn’t, either?”
Her word is nearly a whisper. “No.”
My jaw flexes as I look away, unable to stomach any of this. I hear what Mika—and Jude and Rohan and Lochlan—have said. I need to be patient. She needs time to trust us. But it’s hard to have patience when I am a possessive prick who is used to having her in my bed every night.
Especially when every rejection sends me closer to a breaking point I didn’t know existed.
And I don’t know if she’ll ever accept me again.
Mika pats my shoulder. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes, Kieran. Devastated, I’m sure. Overwhelmed.” I don’t confirm or deny it. “Start small. A conversation that doesn’t end in one of you storming off angry is a good start.”
I’m sure Jude has told her everything. Between Lochlan and the guards, he’s the center of all the gossip up here on the mountain. Which means Mika is, too.
“She doesn’t want to talk to me,” I bite out.
“She turned you down the very first time you asked her to spend time with you.” Mika’s hand squeezes my shoulder. “Stop hiding out here, and try again.”
Her words rip a memory from the back of my mind. Try harder next time, Kieran.
It’s enough to have me thanking Mika and heading home.