Chapter 12
KIERAN
Present day…
“ W hat the fuck are they doing?” Rohan mutters through clenched teeth, staring at Conor and Miles with their heads tipped together. Lochlan asked a simple question about our city’s current status, and then they turned away and started whispering.
I just shake my head, propped on my left hand. The two fingers pressed against my temple do nothing for my blooming headache.
Granted, the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed and sleep I’ve lost in the last two weeks probably don’t help. After my last interaction with Eden, I fell right back into my previous coping mechanisms. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Mika.
Not that Eden has reacted the same way to her. No, Mika has been at my house every day, enjoying lunches with my wife that she doesn’t immediately suspect are poisoned—even though it’s still my fucking cook making them.
My fist clenches as I remember that failed attempt of a dinner. I really did want to try to have a civil conversation with her, but my temper got in the way. We’ve always had matching flares of frustration, but this time, our arguments don’t end in me fucking her senseless.
They end in me drunk in a house that’s not mine.
Besides Mika giving me updates after her afternoons with Eden, no one has pushed me again. I think they are all starting to see what I’ve been saying—that she wants nothing to do with me.
At least she hasn’t tried to escape. I haven’t locked her up again, though there are guards outside her door. But I know from Mika and Jude that she comes and goes as she pleases, and she’s just as drawn to the pool as she was the first time I brought her here.
Some things don’t change.
Just the important ones.
“Now you see what I’m always putting up with,” Lochlan shoots back, the two of them oblivious to the way my thoughts are eating me alive.
I went thirty-four years without feeling a damn thing—which is saying a lot considering the shite I was put through. And then I met Eden, and I’ve been reduced to a growling drunk that doesn’t know how to string two words together to convince her that she loves me.
At this point, I have no fucking clue how I did it the first time.
Because she was different , a voice whispers in the back of my head.
I ignore it because I don’t like the reminder. I don’t like remembering that Eden’s changed, that she’s now suspicious instead of fiery, that she’s defensive instead of challenging. I don’t like considering that I might have lost my wife in every way that matters and I won’t ever get her back.
So I won’t acknowledge it. Eden’s still in there—Mika seems to think so, at least.
I grunt as an elbow slams into my side, and I cut a glare at Rohan. He’s not even looking at me, though. His dark gaze is focused on Miles, who is staring at me with a thin smile.
I raise a brow, not caring if he knows I wasn’t listening. His expression grows even more brittle. “I was saying that while the increased presence of guards hasn’t caused any backlash?—“
“So far,” Conor mutters behind him.
Miles continues as if he heard nothing. “We haven’t found any indication of where the rebels are hiding or received any intel.”
My teeth grind. I had really expected the promise of a reward would draw at least some people out. The likelihood of no one knowing where the rebels are is slim.
Which means they must be more sympathetic than we initially thought.
I don’t say that in front of Miles or Conor, though. They would immediately disagree with my accusation, never believing the citizens in this city would turn against them like that. Me? I’m sure they have. But they like to think of themselves as the people’s friends.
It’s so fucking ridiculous.
“Have there been any more rebel sightings?” Lochlan asks. “Attacks of any kind? Disturbances in supply chains?”
Miles shakes his head, brows pinched together.
He looks so concerned I wonder if he actually cares about the people who are willing to let rebels kill him.
I couldn’t imagine being so tethered by morals.
“We suspect that they are running too low on resources to continue.” He clasps his hands together as he looks back at me.
“Which is the reason I wanted to speak with the three of you. I understand that we’ve been pulling resources to find Eden?—”
“No, we haven’t.”
I hadn’t fully planned on telling them when we came to this meeting.
But I’ve decided that the information has become necessary for them to know, if only so that we can make a plan to actually find the pricks.
Unfortunately, they need all the facts for that.
It’s not like the rebels don’t know I’ve stolen her away or where I would have brought her, so I don’t need it to be a secret.
As I watch Miles blink in surprise and then smile, something stirs in my gut—some suspicion I’m trying to place.
Then, my eyes slide to Conor, who is staring at me slightly slack-jawed, and that feeling only grows.
I expected them to be shocked by the news, but my instincts are telling me that neither reaction is what it should be.
“Well, that is great news.” Miles looks thrilled for me, but he’s always been a great face for the politics of the city—a liar with a smile. Right now is only reminding me of that.
Shifting forward, I pin the other man with my stare. “It is, isn’t it, Conor?”
His name seems to shake him out of his thoughts. He masks the shock in his expression fast, nodding. “Of course it is. Sorry. I was just surprised that you organized the extraction without us knowing.”
That is why his surprise set off warnings in my mind. It wasn’t the news that caught him off guard; it was how easily I conducted a raid without their knowledge. Like he thinks I’m fucking useless without them.
I shrug a shoulder. “You handle politics. I handle force. This was a situation that needed force.”
He nods, and Miles looks between the two of us, clearly not sure about my questioning. “I had assumed you were still looking for her since the guards have been doing so many sweeps.”
“Because I fully intend on hunting down every last rebel and killing them for what they did.” For a long time, I couldn’t be bothered with the petty group that barely affected me. They could live in the valley, breathe the toxic air, and refuse to be a part of our society if they wanted.
But then they fucked up by taking Eden.
Conor purses his lips. “I hadn’t realized,” is all he says. He’s perfectly composed now, and between his quick recovery and Miles’s pleased expression, I feel less than cooperative when it comes to them.
I thought letting them know Eden was safe would allow me to push to set the damn city on fire again—the only important people are up here—but now I’m seeing my mistake. They are going to use this against me. They are happy because of my lack of leverage.
“We understand wanting to put an end to that unsavory group,” Miles cuts in with a wrinkle of his nose. “But, especially with the wonderful news of Eden having been found, I think it’s important we put our resources to better use.”
I sink back in my chair as Miles launches into a long-winded speech about how so many people at the lower elevations are suffering from the lack of masks and disease from living in the fumes.
How our resources need to go to more clinics and research to stop the increasing death toll and decline in the birth rate. I fucking knew it.
It’s the same thing he constantly reminds us of.
He’ll use his diplomatic smile—that makes me contemplate putting a bullet through his teeth—and Conor will make too many demands.
Lochlan will mediate a compromise because our entire focus can’t be on the lower class.
We have to keep them working, of course, but our resources have to support the entire city, not just the lower class.
I’m not so sick I revel in the suffering of everyone, even if I have that reputation.
I’m just heartless enough that I don’t truly give a fuck.
If my whiskey is made, my weapons are produced, and violence is thriving, I’m content.
Bettering the life of everyone else isn’t a concern of mine when I’m more worried about keeping the cages packed and the upper class high.
Not to say that even I don’t have my limits. There’s a reason that cage fighters have age restrictions, every child receives rations regardless of their class, and I let Miles set up these clinics for those most in need of it.
I’m not a complete monster.
Just….mostly one.
Instead of listening to him drone on, I let my eyes move to the massive windows behind Miles and stare out at my house.
Mika said I need to try again with Eden, but I don’t know how to keep doing that.
I refuse to admit her rejection is as painful as a blade, and while I like the way she’s always made me work for everything in our relationship, the distance I’ve been forced to keep is more akin to slow torture than the hot as fuck tension that’s always laced our interactions.
Maybe I need to stop storming off when I get pissed. That never was my reaction before when she pushed me. Maybe if I just stoke her anger, I’ll see a glimpse of my girl.
The idea might have some merit, and given my lack of options, I’m considering actually going home after this and provoking my wife. It’s always worked before.
“Kieran.”
I blink, not allowing my body to startle. Lazily, I tip my head toward Rohan, noticing that Miles and Conor are gone. I’d say that my problems with Eden have taken a toll on my concentration, but those two could bore a fucking rock.
“Yes?” I drawl.
He rolls his brown eyes. “Are you staying here? Looking for a new place to crash now that you’ve depleted most of my whiskey.”
I snort as I stand. “Don’t act like I don’t know you have two more stashes out of sight, Ro. I’ve cut it in half at best.”
“And I’m not giving you the chance to drain it all before my next case is ready.” He turns away, starting toward the door. “We’re going to your house for a drink.”
My footsteps falter. “My house?”
“Yes,” Rohan barks, not even looking back.
Lochlan steps around me, offering a shrug. “You do have the most whiskey out of the three of us now. It’s only fair we raid yours.”
I don’t argue. Normally, we spend most of our time at my house.
Rohan prefers his space and privacy. Lochlan prefers not being home.
Mine has always been open to them, and more often than not, I’d find one of them barging in at all hours of the day—though they did learn to announce themselves after Eden moved in.
I know I need to go home, and even if I won’t say it out loud, it’ll be easier to do so with them at my side.
So I follow after them, my boots clicking against the ground as I approach the bridge.
I tug my gloves on before stepping onto the thick metal that will take me back to the one place I’ve been avoiding.
“You sure you don’t want to go to Lo’s?” I ask as we approach the steps to my home. “Mika might be there eating all your sweets.” It’s a pathetic effort on my part, but I’m not exactly at my best right now.
Rohan glares at me. “No.” He shoves open my front door without another word.
Lochlan looks over at me, his dark blue gaze soft. “It’s been that bad?”
No. I’m not going to talk about this shite with him.
I shove inside as I pull my gloves off, ignoring the question. I follow after Rohan, fully intending to go to my sitting room where I’ll numb every memory until they can’t cut me open anymore.
Or that was the plan.
Until I turn a corner and find Rohan frozen. I step to the side of him, spotting Eden a few feet away. They must have nearly run into each other.
Lochlan bumps into me as he comes around the corner. “What the fuck—” He moves around me, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Oh, hey, Eden.”
She’s staring at the three of us wide-eyed, and Rohan’s normally expressionless mask has slipped.
I realize then that while Rohan and Lochlan have listened to me bitch, they haven’t actually seen her again.
Even if Rohan likes to act emotionless, I know he cares for my wife just as much as Lochlan does.
Glancing between the two of them, I see the relief on their faces. One of their closest friends is home, and they are finally seeing her again.
But Eden doesn’t look anywhere near as happy. She’s tense as fuck, and I see that it weighs just as heavily on my friends as it does on me.
“I was just going to my room.” She drops her gaze, taking a step back, and I hate it. I hate that she has lost the family she had, that her fire has been replaced with uncertainty, that she doesn’t want to even be in the hallway with the three of us.
But then I notice her hand brush alongside her thigh where she used to keep her knife sheathed, and I wonder if my Eden is still in there.
If there are parts of her that are lingering just beneath the surface.
She’s never been any better than me at expressing herself, so why would this be any different?
It’s enough to make me want to push.
“I’ll walk with you,” I offer, shooting Lochlan a glance.
He immediately understands, slipping past me. “We’ll see you later, Eden,” he murmurs, shooting Rohan a look over his shoulder. Rohan follows after him quietly, giving Eden one last glance before they are both gone.
Leaving Eden and me alone.
And this time, I’m not holding back.