Chapter 29
Grace
Itwirl Milly’s hair around my finger as we lie staring into each other’s eyes. We remain on the ground with a plethora of blankets enveloping us. Nothing separates our bodies between the smooth fabrics, just skin to skin. She is still here.
The sunrise begins to peek through the chapel's steeple, casting multicolored light from the stained-glass above. Her body glows with iridescence, a symbol of our love.
How ironic that the rainbow blooms across her body after our intimate confessions in the house of God? I smile at the thought, for just a brief moment, believing perhaps God would be okay with this.
“What is it, Shadow?” she asks as she pulls her arms up to lay on the side of her cheek.
“Just thinking about the irony is all,” I chuckle.
She grins back at me, poking my nose with affection. “I should like to think the heavens look at us in favor,” she says with sass as her foot lifts along my calf, rubbing in soft strokes.
I reach out and pull her closer to me quickly, causing her to squeal with giggles. I bury my head into her neck, peppering kisses and inhaling her scent. Only a few more hours. My body tenses at the intrusive thought, and Milly rubs my back comfortingly.
“This day shall not mark the end of our time together, Shadow,” she mumbles against my hair.
I glance at the clock against the wall and swallow. “It’s 7 in the morning, Milly. You’re late to the meeting with Professor Blackthorne.”
She sighs and places a kiss on the top of my head as she leans back from me, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. “Surely, he can compose himself to endure but a few more moments.” She winks at me as she flips the blankets off her body, exposing every inch of perfection.
She stands up while I remain lying with my hands behind my head, taking in every inch of her curves. I start to lean up, desperate to chase those freckles with my mouth again, when she vanishes. I plop back onto the pillow and stare at the windows, hearing her voice echo throughout the room.
“As much as my heart would love to linger here with you for endless hours, I must see to it that every detail is in order for this evening.” She reappears a few feet away from me in her perfect attire as always; my favorite combination of her long flowy skirt, long button-up, and a vest.
I take in every detail of her, trying to commit it all to memory…just in case. I swallow, feeling my mouth dry with nerves. “Please be quick, Milly,” I whisper.
She smiles with sadness and nods. “Without delay, Shadow.”
And with that, she disappears in an instant, leaving behind only speckles of dust glimmering in the morning sunlight.
I remain lying down for a few moments, observing every detail of the room. I lean up and wrap the blanket around my now cold body to sit on the couch.
I pull the grimoire onto my lap and flip through the pages. Of course, her penmanship is precise. There are detailed recounts of trials and errors, and even sketches of different materials for different enchantments. Everything is perfectly organized.
I eventually approach the page regarding the banishment, and the smile fades from my face. I recite the passage a few times in my mind, memorizing every detail.
Once I find myself confident with the ritual’s verbiage, I close the grimoire and plop it back on the table and trace the edges of the mirror.
I exhale a heavy breath as the anxiety begins to rise once more.
“I don’t want to lose you, Milly,” I whisper to myself as my eyes start to fill with tears once again.
I look into the mirror, observing the moving swirls of light and darkness, “Please don’t take her away from me.” I find myself begging the inanimate object.
I shake my head at my ridiculousness and close my eyes as I lay my hand on the glass, a desperate prayer wringing from my soul.
“God, if you’re here…if you’re listening, please don’t take her away from me.
I know this is selfish, especially when I don’t talk to you, but I’m desperate.
And honestly, I’m fucking scared. Oh, shit.
I swore, I’m sorry. Oh God, I did it again.
” I rub my face, fighting for the right words to ask someone who hasn’t been present in my life.
“What I’m trying to say is I understand that she deserves to rest with you, or in the Veil, or wherever lost souls go, I’m not sure.
But please don’t take her away from me. I’m scared to live in a world without her.
I don’t want her to go through this again.
Please, God. Don’t let her disappear forever…
don’t let me disappear either.” I let the tears cascade from my eyes as they shatter across the glass.
“Shadow?” I lift my head up and see Milly approaching me with immediate concern. “Is everything alright?”
I wipe my eyes immediately and stand up, holding the blanket around me still. “Yes, I’m sorry. Yes—”
“There is no need to apologize for feeling. I welcome every part of you, fractured or whole—it matters not.” I rush to her and wrap my arms around her waist, squeezing tightly as she embraces me just as strongly.
She kisses my head and takes a deep breath. “I’ve spoken at length with Archer.”
My heart stops. “How did it go? What did he learn last night? Wait, he didn’t place the mirror yet.” I glance over at it, noticing my tears drying on the glass.
“He is to place it shortly. I have returned to retrieve it for him.” I nod as she strokes her hand along my hair. “They remain hopeful of finding you before evening falls, Shadow.”
I nod again, knowing that this would have been the case anyway. I know they’re desperate for me.
“Might we consider a slight revision to our plan?” she asks, avoiding my eye contact.
I pull back slightly from her embrace, tightening the blanket around my body again as I scrunch my brows together.
“What do we need to revise? We’ve got it all figured out, I thought.
Archer is going to set up the mirror in one of the rooms where the ritual happens.
He’s going to shatter the mirror with Priest Brown in line with it, the demon will be sucked into the portal, and then the priest will die in the process.
That’s the plan, Milly. Isn’t it kind of dangerous to change it at the last minute? ”
She glances back at me as her eyes fill with slight tears. “There are far too many opportunities for error,” she states.
“Well—” She shakes her head at me, my words falling short at her seriousness.
“I must assist Archer.”
I startle back. “What? Why are we changing things now?” I panic, my breaths rushing in and out of my lungs.
“Archer and I had the opportunity to speak candidly. The affections between you and me carry with them a threat of harm. They obscure our better judgment, Shadow. I shall not endanger your life. You must take your leave.” She lifts her chin and crosses her arms around her waist, creating a shield with her body.
My jaw drops, and I step back, my legs hitting the couch as I sit down. “What is going on, Milly? Where do you want me to go? How can you expect me to leave you? I can’t leave you—”
Her eyes flare with alarm, and she rushes toward me, placing both hands gently on the sides of my cheeks. “Your love shall never be forsaken by me, nor would I ask you to forsake yours.”
She sits down next to me and keeps holding my face, making sure I maintain eye contact with her. But I feel my heart breaking at what she’s insinuating, unable to understand the actual reasoning behind it all.
“I request you leave this campus, Shadow.”
“What? No way! I’m a part of this now just as much as you are.”
She nods, becoming frenzied in her expressions. “All the more reason for you to depart. I cannot risk your well-being. You must flee at once. Return to me in two days’ time,” she begs me.
Her eyes look at me, studying every detail of my face as if it may be the last time she ever sees it.
I shake my head out of her hands. “Absolutely not! What if you’re not here when I come back? I can’t leave you here alone. I love you. I refuse to go, Mildred. I refuse.”
Her eyes fill with tears as she leans in and places a soft kiss against my lips. I return the kiss, closing my eyes as my own tears begin to fall, mixing with hers.
I pull away. “Milly, stop. You’re scaring me.” Her tears sparkle subtly as she kisses me one more time. She leans back and pulls out the pin from Bea, placing it on the blanket before moving her hands onto my shoulders.
“Pray, forgive me, my shadow.”
“Milly, no. Stop—” She closes her eyes and starts whispering words as the room begins to swirl in true shadows. The perfect mixture of darkness and light, swirls of rainbow and black holes, a cacophony of noises so loud they become silence.
“Remain with Bea, Shadow. Keep yourselves tucked away until two days have come and gone.” She rushes out before raising her voice once more, casting what must be a transportation spell.
Her eyes are glowing brightly alongside her body, a magnificent beauty if it didn’t mean she was wasting power to send me away.
“Milly! What are you doing?” I shout as the shadows overtake every single one of my senses, drowning me in an abyss of silence and removing the comfort of her touch on my shoulders.
I can’t feel her anymore.
“MILLY!” I scream again and again as my body starts to feel dizzy. I panic, gasping for air while I spin endlessly, drowning in everything and nothing all at once, when all my senses abruptly return.
I blink my eyes open as I wobble on my feet, finding myself in my best friend’s apartment. I stand there naked, wrapped in just a blanket, locking eyes with Bea as her jaw drops.