Chapter Fourteen #2
She held up her hand. “Wait, it’s not what you think. I found something called Concentration Fatigue. It’s something that often happens to Deaf people, especially when they have to interact with mostly hearing people.”
“Is that another way of saying I’m lazy and stupid?” He started to get up, but she held onto his arm.
“No. I’m telling you it isn’t your fault.”
“Why am I the only one in my family with it? The others all went to college. I wouldn’t have passed high school if they hadn’t felt sorry for the stupid deaf kid and passed me on.”
She kept her hand on his forearm for a few moments.
“Think about it. Brian is hearing, so he didn’t need to hyperfocus to understand what was being said in the classroom.
Or anywhere in school. Carli and Deanna went to a Deaf school where ASL was used by everyone.
They learned both ASL and English, but even when they were learning standard English, it was taught by teachers using ASL.
You were in a school where you were basically the only Deaf student.
Yes, you had an interpreter, but you said she did a lot of the work for you. ”
“Because I was stupid,” he roared. At her hurt expression, he said, “I am stupid, and I can’t read.”
“You aren’t stupid, Evan. I’ve never thought that. Look at these articles.” She opened the folder and handed him a stack of papers. Was she kidding? He glared at her.
“Didn’t you get the memo? I can’t read.”
She pursed her lips. “Maybe you can’t read well, but you can read. I just want to point out a few things.”
Her finger skimmed to some of the highlighted sentences. “You zone out into your own little world. You feel like you’ve hit a brick wall. Your brain simply switches off, and you stare blankly into space without even realizing it.”
Okay, all of those had happened to him at times. Many times, especially during his school years. What of it? Where was she going with this?
“Lip reading is really hard for many people, even the Deaf, who should be able to do it. Most people who lip read barely get half of what is said. People think you’re lazy and rude, but you’re simply trying to understand what is happening and what the conversation is about.
I think you zoned out because of concentration fatigue.
You had to watch everything. Everything.
Lips, facial expression, body language, and all of that on top of trying to understand the new vocabulary the teacher was introducing or the math concept being taught. ”
He was getting close to zoning out right now. Going back to his old habits. But Mercedes seemed to think this was important, and he had to admit what she said made some sense. If it was true. A real thing. He’d always had a hard time concentrating, and it did make him ridiculously tired after.
“What do I do about it?” Was there anything or was it too late for him?
“Do you seem to get the concentration fatigue now at work?”
He mulled the question over. “Most of the time, no. But I’m in a vehicle doing my work. I’m not interacting with anyone. Not really. Because of the loud sounds from the equipment, even the hearing guys often use signs to indicate what needs to be done.”
“So that’s good.” Her face brightened slightly.
“If the boss is trying to explain too much stuff to a bunch of us, then yeah, sometimes my head feels like it might explode, but usually he’s pretty good about using his voice-to-text app and using basic language. Probably because he thinks I’ve got a low IQ level. Like most people do.”
Mercedes frowned. “I thought you said he wants you to mentor a new employee. I doubt he’d choose you if he thought you weren’t capable.”
“He did it because I speak ASL.”
“Didn’t he say he wants you to take that next level test? Why would he ask you to do that if he thought you weren’t smart enough for those types of jobs?”
“Okay, I’ll admit he’s been super cool about giving me more things to do and learn. But using this equipment doesn’t require a college degree.”
Mercedes shook her head. “A lot of jobs don’t require a college degree.
That doesn’t mean the person is stupid or inept.
I think you’re incredibly smart, and you’ve shown me time and again that you can think on your feet.
Fixing stuff in the apartment, helping set up the tent when my brother and father couldn’t figure it out.
You help your parents all the time with stuff in their place.
As for reading, your needs were never met the way they should have been. ”
A pit of despair settled deep inside him. “So I’m screwed up for life because of what happened as a kid?”
“Not if you don’t want it that way.” She placed her hand on his arm again. Why did he like it so much? He took in her words and realized what she was insinuating.
“I’m not going back to school.” That thought was more torture than jumping in front of a backhoe when it swung up.
“You don’t have to.” Her smile was lit up like the sun. “I’ll teach you.”
“Teach me what?”
“We’ll work on improving your reading skills for one. We can also make sure to voice on as much as possible when we’re here so you’re more easily understood in public. We can also do some more practice on lip reading.”
He liked looking at her beautiful lips, but if he was being honest, he often didn’t think to read what they were saying.
And this whole thing was getting deadly serious.
Time to lighten things up. “What will you say to me? Naughty and dirty stuff that will make me blush? Or make you blush? You know I’m too innocent for all that. ”
Her eyes rolled so hard he thought they might disappear. “You’re ridiculous. We’d just work on regular common phrases you see often throughout your day.”
“You’d do that for me?” He toned it back to being grateful.
“Unless you want to go back to Speech. I’m not a Speech Pathologist.”
He took her hand and quickly kissed it, then dropped it. What had he done that for? “No, I’d prefer to have you help me. It’ll be less expensive that way.” He winked at her to make her forget the hand kiss. “I also trust you.”
The smile that bloomed on her face was enough to get him through anything.