Chapter 29 #2
“Did you ask her if she told him?” Carli glared at him.
He glared right back. How else would he have known?
Taking a deep breath, Carli said, “People get information in a lot of different ways. He might have overheard something she said or peeked at an email or text, or something else. Not everyone has scruples. You need to talk to her and ask her about what happened.”
Of course he had to talk to Mercedes. He didn’t think it was going to be that easy. I don’t think she’ll listen. I said some stupid, hurtful stuff to her, too.
Carli’s eyes widened. “Why?”
Because I was embarrassed and mad. And drunk.
Carli closed her eyes and sat back. “Oh, God. Evan, you are the stupidest drunk I know. Now you really need to talk to her and straighten things out. And apologize for what you said.”
His spine straightened. I have to apologize? What about her telling everyone I’m so stupid I can’t read?
His sister’s eyes blazed into him. “First, stop saying you’re stupid. You’re not, and we both know it. Being a great reader is not the only sign of intelligence. Did Mom and Dad teach you nothing?”
She was right. Their parents hadn’t been college graduates either, but they had good jobs that supported the entire family for years.
Carli pointed in his direction. “Think about this for a second. She’s been helping you with some of your work stuff for years.
You told me that yourself a while back. She’s never mentioned it to me, and I was her roommate for a long time.
Suddenly, she’s going around sharing your personal information?
Does that sound like Mercedes? Does it?”
She had a point, but it didn’t take away the sting of being the butt of her coworker’s jokes. He hung his head and shook it. No, she’s just so smart and so are her friends.
“This isn’t the first time you’ve been in situations like this. You usually get mad but eventually shrug it off. Why is it suddenly bothering you what other people, who you don’t even care about, think?
Evan pondered her questions and gave a shrug. It’s different now.
“What changed? Carli asked. “You’re romantically involved. I know she’s always been special to you, but what exactly do you feel for her?”
I’m in love with her, okay, he blurted out. Which is ridiculous because look at her and look at me.
The smile Carli saved for making sad people feel better showed up.
“I am looking at you. You’re a very handsome man who’s sweet and kind at times.
You’ve got a good job and decent manners.
You try really hard to be the best person you can be, when you aren’t stupid drunk. No one can ask more of you.”
That’s a nice speech, but I’m not the right guy for her.
“How do you know? Have you asked her?”
He hadn’t, and he knew why. She’s the first woman I’ve ever been serious about. I’m scared, Carli. Scared of rejection.
Her fierce expression was intense. “So you rejected her first? That’s a real smart thing to do.”
I told you I’m not very smart.
“About this,” she pointed at him, “I’ll agree. What have you got to lose by telling her how you feel?”
He pressed his lips together. My pride.
Carli shook her head. “Yeah, well, my pride made me walk away from Blake. Sometimes pride is stupid. Don’t make the mistake I did. Give her the chance to explain.”
He didn’t want to lose Mercedes. She was the best person he’d ever had in his life. With his bonehead actions, though, it might not be up to him.
Mercedes made Evan’s favorite meal tonight, though it might not matter if he still wasn’t talking to her.
They’d danced around each other yesterday, with him staying out most of the day.
In the afternoon, she couldn’t stand the quiet any longer, so she’d gone for a drive to the beach and walked along the sand.
It had been a brisk day, but she’d needed the cold air to shake her up a bit.
Today, they’d both gone to work without running into each other. She thought back to this afternoon when she’d blasted Tasha about what she’d done.
“Tasha, what gave you the right to read my emails or texts or however you found out about my sessions with Evan?”
Tasha gazed at her with an air of innocence floating around her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really, because Wardell and Ayanna said you told everyone that I was giving Evan reading lessons.”
Tasha’s hand started fluttering like it did when she got nervous. “I might have overheard you telling someone. I didn’t realize it was a secret.”
“I’ve never talked about it at work, so I know you’re lying. And just for clarity, I was helping him interpret some terminology in a heavy equipment book because he has to take a test on it. They weren’t reading lessons.” Not exactly.
Tasha rolled her eyes, and Mercedes saw red. “Listen up. You are to mind your own business and stay out of mine. Keep your eyes off anything that has to do with me. Do you understand?”
“I don’t know why you’re getting so hot under the collar.”
Mercedes wanted to throttle her. “Maybe because when you told Wardell your gossip, he decided to make fun of Evan out in public in front of his friends and ours. You may have destroyed my relationship with him.”
At the predatory look in Tasha’s eyes, Mercedes took a step closer and got right in her face.
“Don’t start thinking that’s a good thing.
Evan would never go out with you. He hates gossip and people who participate in it, especially hateful gossip.
If he knew you were the one who spread the nasty rumor that caused his embarrassment, he’d hold that grudge forever. ”
Tasha glared at her. “And you’d make sure to tell him.”
“Without hesitation. You’d better watch yourself. You’re at the top of my list right now. And not the good list.”
Mercedes had pivoted away and avoided the woman the rest of the day.
Now she just wanted to talk to Evan and apologize for what had happened.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t undo it. She only hoped he would forgive her for allowing Tasha to see whatever it was she saw.
The woman had never admitted where she’d gotten the information.
Even though she wanted to tell Evan how sorry she was, she was also still hurting from the terrible things he’d said to her. Her feelings for him were so strong that they’d stung fiercely.
The sound of the front door opening alerted her to his presence. As much as she wanted to run to him and work things out, she figured he’d be in a better mood after cleaning off the day’s dirt. His footsteps were somewhat softer today. She imagined he’d be tromping down the hallway like a giant.
As she waited on the couch in the living room, rehearsing what she wanted to say, she worried about what would happen.
Thanksgiving was only a few days away. She didn’t want to go sit with her family if she and Evan couldn’t work this out.
They’d be sympathetic, but they’d also want to talk about it too much.
She certainly wouldn’t go to his family’s house, even though they’d invited her.
Maybe she’d have to sit here by herself and cry.
It was already dark outside, and she watched the lights from cars roll down the street. A tiny cough had her glancing up. Evan stood in the doorway, hair still damp, only jeans and a t-shirt on. His hangdog expression let her know he wasn’t in a good mood, but he didn’t seem angry.
“I’m sorry for what I said Friday night. I didn’t mean any of it. I’d had too much to drink and just blurted out that stupid crap after being embarrassed. I do need you, and I won’t be fine on my own.”
Her heart fluttered back to life after being frozen for days. He was apologizing. She rushed over to him and slid into his embrace. It felt heavenly, and he held her like he wouldn’t let go. She eased back because she had things to say, too.
“I’m sorry for what happened. I swear I never told anyone about our sessions. Somehow Tasha saw something, on my computer or my phone, I don’t know, and decided to blab to everyone at work. Wardell was being his usual jerk self.”
Evan nodded. “I probably overreacted. It was hard seeing your snobby friends from work make fun of me. I was humiliated and lashed out. It doesn’t help that you’re too good for me and we both know it. Obviously, they all do, too.”
She poked him in the chest. “I know nothing of the sort. Why do you always say that? You’re a reverse snob. Do you know that? Have I ever treated you like you’re less than me?”
He stared at the floor. “Never.”
She stomped her foot to get his attention. “What you said to me really hurt. I thought I meant more to you than that. You made judgments without even asking me if I’d done what you accused me of.”
His face fell, and he closed his eyes for a few moments. “I had too much to drink, and it didn’t help that Adam was egging me on.”
Adam. Mercedes would be glad to never see him again. “So you’re blaming your behavior on alcohol.”
“I know there’s no excuse for what I did. I’m so sorry. I should never have said it. You have every right to push me away and be mad.”
She stood closer and glared at him. “Yes, I do. What I want to know is why do you think what we have isn’t worth putting an effort into? Am I not worth fighting for?”
She held her breath, waiting for an answer.
His eyes widened. “Of course you are. You’re incredible. Any man would be nuts not to fight for you.”
“Except you.” She stared right into his eyes, feeling tears come to her own. “Even though I’m totally and completely in love with you.” There. She’d finally said it. How would he react?
“You are?” His expression held surprise, but she couldn’t tell if he was happy or upset with her declaration.
She nodded. “Seriously? I told you I’d had a crush on you since we were kids.”
“A crush is not love.”
Was he saying that because he had a crush on her but didn’t love her? “I loved hanging out with Carli, but her hot older brother was also fun to be with.”
“Yeah, Brian can be good to hang out with.” His lips turned into a sly smile.
“That’s not who I’m talking about, and you know it.
” How could she convince him of her feelings?
Ooh, she had an idea. “Wait. I want to show you something.” She darted off to her room and snagged her journals from her bedside table.
She’d spent some time lately going through some of her old ones and had marked certain entries.
“Come sit here.” She led him to the couch and settled beside him. “These are my journals. I’ve been going through some of the older ones to see if I could find exactly when my crush on you started. Here, read this one.”
She opened the book and pointed to the part she’d marked. He looked down at the page, then grinned back up at her. “Nice handwriting.”
She poked her elbow into his side. “I was twelve and in my curlicue stage. Just read what I wrote.”
She read along as her twelve-year-old self told of her heart going pitter patter whenever Evan came to visit his grandparents and popped over to play with her and Carli.
“Now this one.” She showed him another section when she was about seventeen and talked about how cute he was, but that he also treated her great. He didn’t tease her about her ridiculous curls or her darker skin. He treated her like a friend and that meant everything to her.
“Let’s skip a few years.” She dropped her newest one in his lap and opened to where it was marked.
“Our first kiss?” He glanced up at her with a sly smile. “You liked it that much, huh? Even though it was kind of a mistake.”
“Read on.” He did and saw that she’d wanted the kiss to be real, to mean something, and she had pretended it was. She had him turn a few pages where they’d finally talked about the kiss and done more of it. She spoke of how she’d felt like she was floating on air.
“There’s tons more about you, but I only marked a few key ones.”
“You didn’t write about the first night we slept together?”
Her face flamed, and she tugged on the book. “I did, but you aren’t allowed to read that one. It’s not exactly G-rated.”
“Now I’m really interested.” He attempted to grab it, but she moved it out of the way. “I can’t believe you write about me in your diary.”
She caressed the cover of one of the journals. “I have for years as you can see. That’s how important you are to me.”
He sat back, and his face grew solemn. “You’d actually consider being with me on a permanent basis?”
Was that what she thought it was? She smirked to take away the gravity of what she was asking. “Are you proposing?”
He stiffened, and his face fell.
Her stomach sank. “Guess not.”
Grabbing her shoulders, he kissed her full on the lips.
“It’s not that I wouldn’t want to marry you.
I would. You’d be amazing as a wife. But I don’t have a ring for you or even flowers or something romantic.
I haven’t even told you I love you yet, and I do love you, Mercedes.
I love you so much. I never imagined you could love me back. ”
“Well, I do, you big dope.” She cupped his face to make sure he saw what she felt inside.
He gave a small chuckle. “It’s kind of scary.”
She put on a fake pout, then laughed. “I’m kind of scary?”
“No, this whole thing where I can’t stop thinking about you every second of the day. It gets me in trouble at times when I’m supposed to be working.”
All her fears were slowly fading away. “I do that, too. So, I’ll let you off the hook for the proposal thing for now.” The last thing she wanted to do was make him even more anxious.
He shook his head wildly. “I don’t want to be off the hook. But I would love to maybe spend more time on this romantic relationship thing first, one where the end goal is something permanent. I want to make sure to do it right. This is one relationship I don’t want to mess up.”
Permanent. That word had never sounded so good. “We will do it right,” she said. “And we’ll do it together.”