Chapter Ten
“SOMETHING’S WRONG, and I want to know what it is,”
Tyne declared as he walked into Dallin’s office.
Dallin looked up and glared at his brother.
“I could have been doing something dangerous.”
Tyne arched a brow and stared at the book in Dallin’s hands. He didn’t have to say anything for Dallin to know what he was thinking.
Dallin huffed and put down his book after placing a clean napkin between the pages.
“I said I could have been doing something dangerous, not that I was doing it. You know better than to barge into someone’s office without knocking or warning them, though.”
Tyne raised his hands.
“You’re right, and I apologize for that, but I listened and could only hear the music you listen to when you’re reading.”
Dallin enjoyed movie soundtracks when he was reading. He didn’t want music with words because they would distract him from what he was studying, but he liked recognizing famous pieces. He hadn’t realized that his brothers had made the connection and knew that when he listened to soundtracks, he was reading.
“What do you want?”
he asked Tyne.
Tyne put his hands on his hips and stared at Dallin long enough to make Dallin squirm. Dallin wanted to snap at him, but things had been tense between them, and he didn’t want to make them worse. He had no idea why Tyne was here, but if he needed anything, Dallin would help him.
“You broke your promise,”
Tyne eventually said.
“What promise?”
“That you’d stop isolating yourself.”
Dallin narrowed his eyes.
“Unless I’m wrong, you broke that promise first. You said you were going to talk to Meyer, and as far as I know, you haven’t yet.”
“I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”
“We all have been. I promised that I would stop isolating myself, and I have. I’ve been having meals with everyone else. You’ve seen me. Hell, I even watched a movie with you guys the other night, even though there’s nothing more boring than people shooting at each other.”
Tyne snorted.
“I disagree.”
“I know that shooter movies are your favorite. That’s not the point. The point is that I’m not isolating myself, which means that I kept my promise.”
“You haven’t talked to your dragon yet.”
He was right. Sol hadn’t reached out to Dallin, so Dallin hadn’t reached out to him. He’d promised Sol that he wouldn’t push him, and he wasn’t, even though it was hard. He wished he could go to Sol and tell him about their shared past, maybe ask him what he was planning on doing. Dallin needed to know if he had to look for a new shield.
He hoped not. He hoped that after taking his time to wrap his mind around everything, Sol would continue being his shield. To know for sure, though, Dallin would have to ask.
Thinking about it was terrifying. What if Sol rejected him? What if he decided he wanted nothing to do with Dallin? After all, he didn’t know Dallin. He didn’t remember him, and it had to be weird to know that Dallin had been in love with the old version of him. Dallin wouldn’t blame Sol if he never wanted anything to do with him or the other mages ever again.
Sol had to feel like being one of them had put a target on him. He wasn’t wrong. Carlyle had taken Sol’s memories to get revenge on Dallin. He’d probably kidnapped Sol to do the same. Dallin wanted to ask Sol about what had happened during his time with Carlyle, but he wasn’t willing to bring up painful memories. He was pretty sure that the other mages were doing enough of that.
“I told him I would give him time to wrap his mind around everything and to heal,”
Dallin explained.
“We saw how bad things could go with the other dragons. I don’t want any of that to happen to Sol.”
“I get that, but ignoring him won’t help.”
“I’m not ignoring him. I’m giving him time to decide what he wants to do and to think about our bond.”
Dallin sighed.
“You know how it goes. Sol has no idea of who he was before. He wasn’t the one who entered the bond with me. That was Kent, and Kent isn’t here anymore. Sol is tied to me, a man he doesn’t remember. Anyone would need time, and I’m happy to give that to him.”
“There’s such a thing as too much time, though.”
Tyne wasn’t wrong. It was a miracle that Carlyle hadn’t attacked yet, but he would. When he did, all the mages and dragons needed to show a united front. They needed to fight together, like a family.
“I’ll talk to him,”
Dallin said.
“But you still need to talk to Meyer.”
Tyne grimaced.
“I promise everything’s fine with him.”
“He’s still walking around looking like someone killed his puppy, so I disagree. You promised that you’d talk to him. You didn’t keep that promise, and I don’t like that.”
At least Tyne had the good grace of looking guilty. It wasn’t what Dallin had in mind when he’d reminded him of his promise, but he’d take it.
“It’s complicated,”
Tyne argued.
“I never said it wasn’t. Carlyle is going to attack us, though. We all know that. We need to be ready when it happens, and your dragon needs to know how to protect you during the fight.”
“He’s been training with the other dragons.”
“But he hasn’t been training with you. He doesn’t know how you’ll react to him physically saving you. He doesn’t know your boundaries and what you’re willing to let him do while you work. He doesn’t know you. He’s never going to know you if you don’t give him a chance, and you promised you would.”
Tyne looked like he wanted to argue, but he just rolled his eyes.
“Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
Dallin wasn’t sure he could trust him, but he didn’t have a choice.
He got up from his armchair and went to hug his brother. He wished he could soothe Tyne’s pain, especially now that he understood it. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it. The only people who could do something about this mess were Tyne and Meyer.
Dallin kissed Tyne’s cheek and pushed him toward the door.
“Do it now.”
“Do I really have to?”
“You promised, so yeah. You talk to Meyer and find a way to work with him, and I’ll talk to Sol.”
“Fine.”
Tyne paused.
“I hope everything goes well with your dragon.”
“I hope the same goes for you. Remember that Meyer isn’t Peyton. No matter how angry you are at Peyton, he doesn’t exist anymore. Meyer is just wearing his face.”
Tyne groaned.
“There had to be a better way to say that.”
There probably was, but Dallin didn’t care. He’d gotten his point across, which was what he’d wanted. Hopefully, Tyne was finally ready to face his past.
Dallin wasn’t sure he was, but he had to do it, whether he liked it or not.
SOL WAS USED TO PEOPLE knocking on his door. He’d come to expect it, although he could never guess who was on the other side, wanting to sit with him and talk. There were way too many people living in this castle, but at least he’d learned everyone’s name. It had been confusing at first, especially since the dragons and the mages weren’t the only people who lived here. A small group of humans had made the castle their home, including Pippa. Sol was glad she wasn’t alone, but he really hoped it wasn’t Thorne who wanted to talk to him. The man scared him a little. He always wore a serious expression.
“Come in,”
he called out. He could have gotten up to open, but if it was Pippa, she’d kick his ass.
It wasn’t Pippa. In fact, it wasn’t anyone Sol had talked to before beyond a short conversation.
“I was starting to think you didn’t know I was here,”
Sol told Dallin as he closed the door behind himself.
Dallin gave him a smile.
“You do know that if you were ready to talk to me, you could have reached out, right? Anyone would’ve given you my phone number if you didn’t want to get out of bed.”
Sol groaned. He wanted to make a good impression. Between the way he’d looked the first time he met Dallin and being in bed, he wasn’t sure he could.
“I want to get up, but Pippa won’t let me. She’s still worried.”
Dallin grimaced and gestured at the two chairs that had been placed by the side of Sol’s bed. “May I?”
“Of course.”
Sol watched Dallin as he moved. He was obviously being careful, and Sol didn’t fully understand why. Dallin was here because he wanted to be, right? He wanted to talk to Sol. Why was that such a problem for him? Was it because he and Sol were bonded?
Sol had a better idea of what that meant now. Dallin had told him they’d been bonded before, so Sol had asked the mages and dragons what it meant. They’d explained, no doubt knowing why Sol was asking. Sol didn’t care. He wasn’t planning on hiding whatever was going on between him and Dallin.
He just had a lot of questions, including wanting to know what was going on between them.
“I told you I would give you space,”
Dallin pointed out once he was settled on the chair.
“I was waiting for you to reach out. When you didn’t, I thought that maybe you didn’t want to talk to me.”
Sol frowned.
“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?”
“I don’t know. Look at Tyne and Meyer. They’ve been fighting since they met. I didn’t want something like that to happen to us.”
“Nothing like that can happen to us because we’re not Meyer and Tyne.”
Thank fuck for that. Tyne could be a bastard when he wanted to, which seemed to be most of the time.
Dallin smiled again.
“We can agree that we’re both idiots who should have reached out to the other sooner. Is that okay with you?”
“I suppose it’ll have to do.”
Sol smiled back, and he wasn’t even sure why. It seemed that Dallin had a way of slithering under his skin and making him do things he normally wouldn’t do. He wasn’t sure what to think about that. He was a bit afraid to think too hard about it, actually. Dallin might have given him time to understand all of this, but he didn’t think that would ever happen.
How was he supposed to be normal when dragon shifters and mages were real? He’d known he was a dragon shifter for as long as he had memories, but he’d truly believed he was alone. Knowing that he wasn’t was overwhelming.
Maybe it was a good thing that Dallin had given him space.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finally here,”
he murmured.
Dallin looked surprised but also pleased, which gave Sol a thrill. He told himself it was the bond, but he wasn’t sure. Maybe he just had a crush on Dallin.
“I’m glad I’m finally here, too,”
Dallin murmured back.
Sol cleared his throat. Things were so awkward, but he’d seen the mages with their dragons. He knew that if he and Dallin relaxed into this, they could have a relationship unlike anything he’d had before.
That he could remember, anyway.
“Everyone has visited, and they told me everything I needed to know about being a dragon,”
Sol explained.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you for so many years.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It’s not like you decided to leave me.”
“No, but maybe I should’ve looked for you harder. I always knew there was something missing. I just didn’t know what that something was.”
“Well, now you know.”
It had been Dallin. From what Sol had gathered, he and Dallin had spent most of their time together before Carlyle happened. Of course it would feel weird for him to be alone, even though he didn’t remember Dallin.
“You said that you and I were together.”
Dallin nodded.
“We were. I don’t expect anything like that from you if that’s what you’re asking. I understand you’re not Kent and that you barely know me.”
Dallin had had time to wrap his mind around the fact that Sol wouldn’t have his memories when they found him. It was still weird for Sol to think of everything he’d lost, but maybe he hadn’t lost it forever. Dallin was sitting there, after all.
“I don’t know what I want,”
Sol confessed.
“A lot of things have happened in a very short period of time, and it’s a lot to take in.”
“Well, like I said, I don’t expect anything from you.”
Maybe not, but surely, he hoped. Sol didn’t want Dallin to think he was completely opposed to the two of them being together. He wasn’t.
“I’m not saying we can never be together again,”
he said so that Dallin would understand.
“But I’d like to get to know you. There’s nothing I can do about the bond, but this, I can do.”
“There’s something I can do about the bond if you want.”
Dallin hesitated, then squared his shoulders and raised his chin.
“You don’t have to be my shield if you don’t want to be. I can break our bond and find another shield.”
Sol sucked in a breath. Was that what Dallin wanted?
DALLIN DIDN’T WANT to break their bond. In fact, he could think of nothing worse than to have to do that. If Sol told him that it was what he wanted, though, Dallin would do it. He wouldn’t force anyone to be with him, especially not Sol.
Sol wasn’t Kent, but Dallin couldn’t ignore everything he’d felt for his dragon. He still loved Kent, and he suspected that a part of him always would. He didn’t know what would happen with Sol, but he wouldn’t trap him in a bond he hadn’t chosen.
Because he hadn’t. Sol wasn’t Kent, and if he wanted out, Dallin would let him. He doubted his heart would ever heal from it, but that wouldn’t stop him.
Sol frowned. Dallin held his breath, waiting for Sol’s answer. If he said that he wanted the bond broken, Dallin would have to ask him to wait until they fought Carlyle. He wished he could do it right away so he wouldn’t have time to obsess over it, but he couldn’t risk it. If Sol insisted that he wanted out now, though, Dallin would find a way to make it work.
“Do you want to break the bond?”
Sol asked.
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but apparently, you’re assuming that I do.”
“I’m not assuming anything. I chose the bond. You didn’t.”
“I think it’s noble of you to offer me the opportunity, considering everything I know about the bond between the mages and their dragons. I don’t want you to break it, though.”
Dallin almost slumped over with relief. Sol didn’t want to break the bond. He wasn’t going anywhere.
That still didn’t mean that he and Dallin would have the kind of relationship Dallin had with Kent. Maybe Sol was straight. Maybe he wasn’t, but Dallin wasn’t his type. Maybe he was still freaking out over everything and wouldn’t want anything to do with Dallin after their conversation.
“What do you want, then?”
Dallin asked because he had to know.
“To get to know you. For you to get to know me. You’re right when you say that I’m not Kent. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. You have memories of Kent, but I’ll never be him.”
Dallin swallowed.
“I grieved him when we realized that our dragons had lost her memories and that they would never get them back. I’ve made my peace with the fact that Kent is lost.”
“It still can’t be easy to see his face on me. Is that why you didn’t visit sooner?”
“In part, but mostly, I just wanted to keep my promise to you.”
It had given Dallin time to truly accept that Kent was gone. He’d known it before, but seeing Sol had still been a blow to the heart. He felt better now, stronger, and he thought he could deal with whatever Sol threw at him.
Sol nodded.
“Well, thank you for that, but you don’t need to stay away from me anymore. In fact, I’d like it if you stopped. I want you to visit as often as you want. I want you to spend time with me.”
“You really don’t want to break the bond?”
“I don’t. I might not be Kent, but I figure that the person I was before is still somewhere inside of me. I don’t have the memories and experiences Kent had, and he didn’t have mine, but I think that fundamentally, we’re the same person. If you and I worked so well together before, I can only hope that we will continue to work together now that I’m Sol. Besides, I asked Jarvis what it would entail for you to break the bond, and he made it clear that it wouldn’t be easy.”
Dallin needed to have a chat with Jarvis. It had been his place to tell Sol any of this.
“That doesn’t matter,”
he said gently.
“If you want out of the bond, that’s what we’ll do.”
“It’s not what you want.”
“It’s not. I understand that you’re not Kent, but the bond we share is the only thing I have left of him. It’s been there for decades, and it was reassuring to feel it even after you were gone. It meant that you weren’t dead. It’ll take me a long time to find another shield and feel close enough to them to be ready to bond, if it ever happens. I would rather avoid all of that, but only if you’re sure you don’t want to break the bond.”
“I’m sure,”
Sol said, making it sound like a promise.
Maybe it was. Dallin could only hope.
“I want you to talk to me if you change your mind,”
Dallin told him.
“We can talk things out again, and if you’re done with the bond, I can break it. It won’t be as vital to keep it once Carlyle is gone.”
Sol shook his head.
“I need you to stop doing that. I won’t change my mind, Dallin. I might not be Kent, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be your shield. You just need to give me a chance.”
How was Dallin supposed to say no to that?