5 Ryan
We’re nearly halfway through the movie when Jamie stands up.
“I’ve gotta run. See you guys later,” he says. When his eyes land on Frankie, his voice softens. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
She nods. “Just… be careful.”
Jamie lets out a quiet laugh. “My job isn’t exactly dangerous, babe. Just grease monkeys doing our thing.” He winks.
It’s a lie. We all know it.
We grew up on opposite sides of the same duplex, but our lives couldn’t have been more different.
My house is full- loud in the good way. My parents are happy, obviously in love with each other still. I have to many little siblings as a result, but they fill the place with joyful noise.
It’s the kind of life that’s just… there. Steady. Safe. Something you don’t even think about because you’ve never had to.
Jamie didn’t get that.
Not even close.
Jamie presses a kiss to the top of Frankie’s head, and she turns bright red. Then he’s gone.
We don’t talk about where he goes or what he does. We never have. It just sits there between us, heavy and unspoken.
We make it through a few more scenes before I steal a handful of popcorn from Frankie’s bowl and toss a piece at her. It bounces off her shoulder.
She scowls at me- then laughs, picking up the popcorn and throwing it right back at me.
After a while, she shifts closer to me, tucking herself into my side. Her legs curl up, her shoulder settling against my chest.
She smells like vanilla, and I breathe it in, letting myself have this for a second. I know she doesn’t belong to me- not really- but she leans on me anyway.
Christian rearranged his whole life to be here for her, put himself on the other side of her wall so he could hear when things go bad. Jamie… Jamie would literally kill for her if she needed it.
Me, I’m here when she needs somewhere to land, when she needs quiet, when she needs things to feel normal for a little while.
She comes to my games and cheers like she understands baseball, sits with me for hours doing homework, reads and discusses all the books I’m excited about… and most nights she falls asleep right here with me on this couch, her head tucked into my chest like it is now.
My favorite part of my day is when I pick her up and carry her to bed. She curls into me in her sleep, like she feels safe and wants to get closer. The first night it happened I knew that I wanted to pick her up, carry her to bed and tuck her in every night for the rest of my life.
It wasn’t like that at first. We weren’t all head over heels for her when we met her. Then, it was a different set of emotions.
She was fourteen, all sharp edges and big eyes and too much responsibility for someone that young, dropped into this city- this neighborhood- without a friend in the world. A mother too wrapped up in a toxic relationship to really see her, a grandmother too sick to do much more than get by.
None of us looked at her and wanted anything more than to make sure she was okay. That she never felt alone in all of it.
That’s all it was for a long time- watching out for her, helping where we could, showing up for this bold, stubborn girl who was carrying more than she ever should have had to.
The rest came later.
Christian reaches over and pulls her feet into his lap, and she groans softly when he starts rubbing them. I focus on the movie, trying not to react, but he catches my look and just smiles.
It’s a good night, the kind that almost tricks you into thinking everything is okay.
Things always feel calmer in the days after Gary shows up, like the storm has already passed, even though we all know it’s just circling back around.
So I let myself have this, just for tonight, because none of us believe it’s going to last.