Chapter Nineteen
Rico hugged Aunt Sophia and both cried during their initial greeting. She was much frailer than he remembered. She’d always being so robust and active when she was younger, even the last time he’d been here, a few years ago.
“I’ve missed you, my boy.” She glanced around him. “Where’s Gina?”
“She’s waiting in the family room, but I thought I should see you first.” He set his package on the dresser and pulled up a chair to sit across from the wingback his aunt sat in, taking both her hands in his. “I’m so sorry about Michelle. She fought so hard.”
Tears flooded her eyes, but Aunt Sophia smiled through them. “She always was a fighter. I just wish she hadn’t had to face cancer on top of everything else.” She bit her lower lip as she pulled a locket on a gold chain from under her blouse and opened it to show him. “I’ve taken to wearing photos of her and Gina so they’re always with me. I miss Chelle so much.”
Michelle had preferred her formal name, but her mama always called her Chelle.
“As do Gina and I.” Aunt Sophia had a virtual gallery of photos of Michelle, Gina, and sometimes Rico on her dresser too, but no doubt she treasured these that she wore closer to her heart the most.
“I’ve missed Gina too. Wait. Who did you leave her with?”
“Don’t worry. She’s with a friend of mine who came along for the trip. He’s been a big help.”
“Oh, are you and he…” she held up two fingers entwined, either to signify they were a couple or show she hoped so.
Rico laughed. “No, nothing like that.” Well, not yet anyway. “We’ve been friends since high school. He lives in Denver now so when I needed help, he was the first person I called.” That seemed a safe enough explanation for their complicated relationship. Of course, Aunt Sophia had known about his being gay even before he’d told his mama and had probably already guessed by then anyway. She’d always loved and accepted him, no matter what.
“What will happen with Gina now?”
“You know Michelle. She took care of planning everything. I’ll be her legal guardian, but we’ll be sure to come and visit you as often as we can. I want you to be a part of her life too.”
“I don’t think I expected you to ever be a papa, Rico.” She grinned. “But I know you will be a wonderful one.”
“Actually, Gina chose to call me zio even before Michelle passed, and we’ve stuck with that for now.”
“No matter what she calls you, she will love you as her papa. And you will do a wonderful job raising her. You’re a blessing, my boy.”
Now it was Rico’s turn to have tears spring to his eyes. “Thanks, Aunt Sophia. That means a lot to me.”
“I love chatting with you, but when can I see Gina?”
Rico stood and reached for the blue bag on the dresser. “First, I wanted to give you this.” He pulled the small urn out of the bag he’d carried it in from home and pressed the urn into her hands, closing his hands around hers as if hugging Michelle’s ashes. “I thought you might want to have some of your daughter’s ashes with you in a tangible way. Gina has an identical keepsake urn.”
She sniffled, and he plucked some tissues from the dispenser to hand to her. “You’ve always been so thoughtful, Rico. Thank you. But Chelle will always be with me,” Aunt Sophia tapped the center of her chest, “right here. I felt her with me even before you called to tell me she had died.”
A mother-daughter bond that strong couldn’t be broken. He hoped Gina would start receiving signs soon too, but when he’d asked, she’d responded with, not yet. What if she wasn’t seeing them, though? He’d try to keep an eye out for some of the ones he thought she might have. He’d have to give it time.
“Ready to see Gina?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Aunt Sophia smiled.
Rico hoped this would go well, but Gina seemed less nervous about the meeting after their talk in the car. “Would you prefer to meet them in the family gathering room rather than here?”
“That sounds wonderful. I haven’t been out of my room since lunch.”
“Are you still up for the zoo today too?”
“Hell, yeah.”
Rico grinned. She’d always been more irreverent than either of his parents.
He glanced around and found her red scooter on the opposite side of the bed. “Do you need to come back here before we head out to the zoo?”
“Just grab my sweater and that walker over there. I’ll take my scooter and park it near the front entrance then switch to my walker.”
He hoped the walker would fit in the trunk, but he’d make it work. “My car might be a little tight.”
“Another flashy sports car?”
He shrugged unapologetically. “I’m not sure how flashy, but it’s metallic blue and fast.”
She smiled as she shook her head. “We’ll manage. I can’t wait to see the animals again. I haven’t been since the last time I was there with Gina and Chelle about three years ago.”
They found Franco and Gina playing checkers. Looked like Franco had the upper hand for a change. Rico grinned as he interrupted them, knowing Franco probably wouldn’t have a chance to play it through to the win.
“Gina, piccola! You’re so big now!” Aunt Sophia held open her arms and Gina’s face lit up. She jumped up from the table and ran to her, never missing a beat.
“Nonna, I missed you.” The two hugged while Franco and Rico locked gazes. Franco mouthed a phew.
While the two of them became reacquainted, Rico joined Franco. “That went better than expected,” he whispered. “I sure am glad you opened up that dialogue on the way here. I had no idea what was bothering her.”
“They seem to have come together as if no time has passed at all,” Franco said, watching them chat and giggle together like two schoolgirls. Then he turned to Rico. “How are you doing?”
“Aunt Sophia is strong. She’s already come to terms with losing Michelle, I think.”
“I didn’t ask how your aunt was doing, did I?”
Franco had a way of going all dominant on him at the drop of a hat, which took Rico’s breath away.
I love it too.
“No, Sir, you didn’t.” Rico grinned. He liked dipping into his submissive role too. “I’m doing fine. This is going much better than I had expected.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Aunt Sophia is looking forward to getting sprung from this place. I don’t think she gets out much.”
“Being away from here will give the two of them a better chance to get reacquainted.”
“You and Gina are going to have to be crammed into the back seat of my car.”
Franco grinned. “Put me behind Aunt Sophia so I have a chance at a little leg room.”
“Sure thing. Let me introduce you before we head out.”
The two men stood and approached Gina and Aunt Sophia, who were locked in conversation. “I hate to interrupt this reunion, but, Aunt Sophia, I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Franco Giardano.”
“Franco, it’s so nice to meet you.” She held her hand out to him, and he shook it gently, but judging by the surprise on his face, Aunt Sophia squeezed his hand a lot harder. “Don’t worry, my boy. I won’t break.”
Hearing her call him my boy too almost made Rico laugh. Franco probably hated it as much as the Bambino nickname Mama J sometimes used. But Franco grinned politely instead. Was it because he remembered how he’d called Rico boi during their scene at the Masters at Arms Club?
Franco grinned at her. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Who wants to go to the zoo?” Rico wasn’t sure who answered him first—Aunt Sophia or Gina. “Then let’s get going before the temperature and sun go down!” It was about seventy degrees but wouldn’t stay that warm for long.
At the zoo in her rented scooter, they made the rounds quickly. Gina was having a blast with her nonna.
Thanks, Michelle. I know you had a hand in today.
“Look at that giraffe!” Gina shouted. Everyone turned to find one of the giraffes near the fencing. “Take us over there, Zio Rico!”
As they approached, the giraffe simply stared at them. They stopped, and both humans and animal remained enthralled with each other for a long while.
“Chelle loved the giraffes best of all.” Aunt Sophia brushed a tear from her cheek.
“Mama always told me I should try to be like a giraffe.”
“Did she tell you to stick your neck out?”
Gina nodded.
“I remember telling her that when she was your age too.”
Curious as to whether this might be a much-anticipated sign, Rico asked, “I wonder if your mama told the giraffe to get your attention, Gina.” Even if she hadn’t, he wanted to give Gina a sense of Michelle’s presence.
Gina turned toward him. “Do you think so?”
Rico nodded.
“Wow! She’s so awesome.” Gina stared at the giraffe as if in silent communication with it for several minutes more. No one intruded on her time. Then she abruptly said, “Thanks, Mama!” and turned around to them with a huge smile on her face. “Let’s go see the penguins now!”
The next afternoon, the wind from the water felt cold against Gina’s face, but she wanted to sit at the front of the boat. They were going out to where she would leave part of Mama’s ashes. The giraffe at the zoo yesterday had let her know that Mama would find ways to talk to her. Letting go of the rest of Mama’s ashes didn’t upset her any longer. Zio Rico kept a little bit of them, just in case she wanted a piece of jewelry or something later on.
“Feels like we’re on the ocean, doesn’t it?” Nonna asked. Gina turned toward her and smiled. She didn’t want to leave Nonna tomorrow. They’d had so much fun this weekend. But Zio Rico said they’d come back around Christmas.
“Aren’t you freezing, Sweetie?” Zio Rico asked.
She shook her head, not wanting to admit she was. This was too important. She didn’t want to go inside the boat.
“I think we’re ready, if you are,” he said.
Zio Rico tried to explain to her how this would work, but she was a little nervous. Gina glanced down at the white roses she had picked out this morning at the florist. “I’m ready.”
I hope.
Nonna spoke first, talking about Mama when she was a little girl and sometimes got into a little trouble.
‘You gotta be bad.’
She could almost hear Mama singing the words to her.
“But she always stood up for what’s right and showed an inner strength to the very end,” Nonna said, wiping away a tear.
‘You gotta be strong.’
With Zio Rico and Zio Franco’s help, Nonna stood up and walked closer to the railing. Zio Rico gave her the handle of a silver scoop, and she plunged it into the bag inside a box that held Mama’s ashes.
Gina’s eyes stung from the wind as she watched the gray powder carried away from the boat on the surface of the choppy water.
Gina remembered she had the job of tossing flowers into the water after the ashes, so she picked up two of the roses and tossed them to about where Mama’s ashes floated. She stared at them a long time, then looked up at Zio Rico. “I’m ready for my turn.”
Gina stood a little taller and turned away toward the water. “Mama, I miss you so much. But I know you will be with me always. And thank you for the giraffe yesterday.”
She turned to where Zio Rico held the box. The handle was cold and her hand started to shake, but she made it stop just in time. Gritting her teeth to stay steady, she filled the scoop and then turned toward the railing. She released the ashes into the wind. “Fly, Mama, like an angel!”
Mama will always be my guardian angel now.
Rico brushed away the tears as Gina picked up two more roses and tossed them into the lake. Franco squeezed his shoulder, probably trying to encourage him before it was his turn.
He felt as though he’d said everything he needed to say to Michelle these past months but wanted to say something more for Gina and Aunt Sophia now. He hoped he’d get it right.
“Let me hold the box for you,” Franco offered, and Rico relinquished it to him.
“Thanks.” Rico took the scoop and filled it with Michelle’s ashes and tiny bits of bone. He saw a snap from her hospital-like gown in the mix. Wow. He never really thought about how someone was cremated before, but supposed they kept the clothes on them.
What a weird-ass thought to have right now.
Rather than face out to the water, he turned first to Aunt Sophia. “While I’m going to miss Michelle too, I need to look no farther than at you, Aunt Sophia,” he then turned to the younger of the two, “and you, Gina. I see her in both of you and know that you made her who she became, Aunt Sophia, and Michelle made you the spitting image of her, Gina.”
He blinked away the tears, but they still spilled down his cheeks. Gina let out a sob and Aunt Sophia pulled her closer to her as they held onto each other.
“She left this world a better place than she found it. We can all only hope to do the same.” Before he totally lost it, he lifted the scoop full of ashes out of the box and turned to the railing to release them. Just as Gina had said, it was as if Michelle was flying now.
He and Franco took the box and spread the rest of her ashes on the lake’s surface while Gina continued to toss the white roses Michelle loved into the wake of her ashes.
Fly free of this world, Michelle.
Several hours later, after they’d stopped to have lunch, they took Aunt Sophia home. It was time to say goodbye and start back to Denver. Gina had school the day after tomorrow.
“I promise not to be a stranger anymore, Aunt Sophia,” he said as he hugged her goodbye.
“Who knows? I might get out there to Colorado one of these days. Chelle certainly loved it there.”
Rico hadn’t thought he’d ever hear her speak those words and smiled. Keep working on her, Michelle.
“You’re welcome to visit anytime. I could maybe even drive you out to spend Christmas with us in Aspen Corners.”
“That sounds more like the Wild West than Denver,” she commented, a little dubious.
“We’re mostly tame now,” Rico assured her.
Franco laughed, and Rico turned to find him taking photos with his phone. Why hadn’t Rico thought to take photos this weekend? But he was glad Franco was capturing this moment. He needed to start that memory box with Gina that Mama J had talked about.
“Nonna, I have something for you.” Gina pulled out her sketch pad. “I’ve been drawing this for you for days.”
He’d seen her drawing both on the drive to Chicago and in the evenings at the hotel, but whenever he’d come close, she’d hidden it from him. He wondered what it might have in it, but supposed he’d soon find out.
Gina gently tore the page from her book and handed it to her. “Here you go.”
He watched Aunt Sophia’s face as she studied the picture then her resolve to stay strong crumbled as tears began to flow. She hugged the little girl to her chest, careful not to crush the picture.
“It’s beautiful! I’m going to get it framed and hang it on the wall beside my bed. It will be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing at night.”
Curious, Rico came a little closer, and Aunt Sophia held it out to him. “Look at this.”
He did and saw a montage of images of Michelle and Gina doing some of the things they loved, like skating, baking cookies, and going to the zoo. In the lower corner was a good depiction of the giraffe from yesterday, but she had drawn a woman’s face floating near the head of the animal, smiling back at her.
Michelle.
Rico didn’t think he had any tears left, but his cheeks became wet again anyway. He needed to get this kid into art classes. She had so much talent and heart. It might even give her an outlet to express her grief.
“And thank you, Gina, for the animal stickers you got for my scooter at the zoo yesterday. I’m going to have the coolest scooter in the whole place.”
Gina giggled and gave her another hug.
Rico turned to find Franco fixated on all the photos on the dresser and realized Franco hadn’t met Michelle. Rico would try to find time to frame more photos of her to display in the apartment when they got home. It would be good for Gina too. Franco came closer to one of the eight-by-tens and took a photo of it. Maybe he thought there needed to be more photos of Michelle around too.
As they prepared to leave, Franco went up to Aunt Sophia and shook her hand. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Pellegrino.”
“Please, call me Aunt Sophia.”
“Aunt Sophia it is. You take care of yourself. And if you make it to Colorado, I have some wonderful restaurants in Denver and maybe even Breckenridge”—he grinned at Rico—“if you’re brave enough to venture into the wilds of Aspen Corners.”
Could Doms also be bratty?
Rico had been doing some research on the lifestyle, in case they ever had another chance to delve into it further, and Rico definitely saw himself as a brat.
After Gina said her goodbyes, Franco led her out of the room. “We’ll bring the car around for you.”
Rico appreciated having a chance to be alone with his aunt. “I promise to take good care of her, Aunt Sophia.”
“You’re already doing a superb job. I have no doubts you will.”
He kissed her on the cheek. “Be thinking about my invitation. We’ll be happy to come here too, but I think you might like a change of scenery. Aspen Corners and Denver have lots of charm.”
She nodded, noncommittally. “That young man of yours also has a bit of charm.”
Young man of mine? Franco?
“Don’t you let that one get away, my boy. I like him. A lot.”
She’d totally read more into their relationship than existed. “But we’re not—”
Aunt Sophia waved away his words. “I’ve still got eyes that work. I can see how much he cares for you, and you for him.”
But caring for each other and being in love with each other are two different things.
“You belong together.”
He’d been taught to respect his elders, so he wouldn’t argue with her. “Franco isn’t out of the closet yet. We’ll see how it all works out.” The perfect noncommittal response.
Even though he wanted to believe her, he wasn’t sure he’d ever get Franco to admit the same. And if he did, when would they have time to pursue a relationship anyway?