Chapter Twenty-Seven
Franco drew another deep breath as he met Mama’s gaze. “It was after Matthew Shepard was murdered by those homophobes in Wyoming.”
“Oh, that was such a tragedy.”
Mama’s pain seemed real, but Franco couldn’t maintain eye contact as he barreled through with his recollection.
“I was eighteen and still trying to figure out who I was. You and Papa had been in the living room watching the news, and Papa said to you, ‘I don’t understand why anyone would choose to be a homosexual.’ From that moment on, I tried to hide who I was from you both, fearing that if Papa rejected me for being gay, you would probably have to agree with him.”
Franco’s heart pounded and his face grew flushed. He’d never before admitted this, his greatest fear, to anyone. Unable to look her in the eye, he stared at the table and waited.
Mama stroked his hand in comfort; he met her gaze reluctantly. “Oh, Bambino, Papa didn’t mean it that way. He was old school and just didn’t understand it’s not a choice. But I remember that night well, because all I could think of was what if that had been Rico. I still wasn’t certain about you but would have been completely devastated if either of you had been targeted by someone with so much hate in their hearts.”
Mama brushed a tear off her cheek, and Franco felt like a heel for making her cry on top of everything else. “Though I hope you know I would never choose Papa over my children if I thought he was wrong.”
Franco swallowed hard. “Thanks, Mama.”
“But did you stay for the entire conversation?”
Franco furrowed his brow. “I think so.”
“You heard us speaking about Rico?”
He shook his head. “Not that I remember.”
“Ah. That explains your misunderstanding. I wish I’d known you’d overheard part of the conversation. I would have made sure you knew the rest as well. Anyway, I asked Papa if he thought Rico had chosen to be gay or if perhaps God had made him gay.”
“No, I didn’t hear that. What did Papa say?”
“He thought about it awhile—a long while, actually, so perhaps you couldn’t have heard what he said. But eventually, he became as sad and angry as I was about Matthew. That boy’s parents were living a nightmare no parent should ever go through. And just in case you did identify as gay, I wanted to make sure Papa wouldn’t have a knee-jerk reaction, so I asked him what he would have done if that had been one of his sons.”
Franco held his breath, having no idea this part of the conversation had ever taken place. Finally, he asked, “What did Papa say?”
Mama glanced away, making Franco worry that it might not have been what he wanted to hear.
“I need to know.”
Mama didn’t meet his gaze, but said, “I don’t like for you children to know that Papa could sometime use vulgarities.”
Fuck. What had he said?
With a half smile, she turned back to him. “But I suppose my firefighter sons are surrounded by that type of language at work and elsewhere.” She sighed. “However, I am not accustomed to using it, so suffice it to say he wanted to get ahold of those murderers, take one of the high-pressure pipes he worked on, and shove it…where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Holy shit. Go, Papa!
“You mean, he wouldn’t have rejec…” Franco couldn’t even say the words.
“Absolutely not! He loved each and every one of you, no matter what.”
Franco nearly sagged into the chair, not realizing how tensely he’d held himself during this conversation. “I can’t tell you how relieved that makes me feel. I always thought I’d have been a disappointment to Papa if he’d known about me.”
“Never for a moment.” She shook her head. “You’ve been miserable for so long, Bambino.”
“Yeah, I guess I have.” He got up and went over to give her a hug that she returned. “I love you, Mama.”
“I know you do, Franco. And both of your parents love you just as you are.”
He sat down again. “Thanks for understanding and being so accepting.”
She cocked her head. “I’m hurt that you seem so surprised. Didn’t I tell you weeks ago to follow your heart when it came to Rico?”
Franco remembered the words Mama had spoken at Rico’s place the night before Michelle died, but he hadn’t interpreted them in quite the same way at the time. “I didn’t think you meant that in a romantic way.”
She shook her head in confusion. Honestly, the thought had crossed Franco’s mind, but he hadn’t thought Mama had a clue Franco had those kinds of feelings for Rico.
“I don’t interject myself into the relationships of any of my children, unless someone specifically asks me for advice, but I thought you might need a nudge.” She grinned at him. “Apparently, I was being too subtle.”
“No, Mama, I was just being obtuse.”
Mama laughed. “For someone whose job it is to look for obscure clues, Bambino, sometimes you can be a little clueless.” Mama grinned to soften her words, but they stung anyway.
Not that they weren’t true.
“I’ve spent too many years trying to deny who I am, Mama. And obviously doing a lousy job of hiding anything from my family.”
“We all love and care about you. We’re also close knit, so it’s rather difficult to hide anything from one another. You should have seen how hard it was for Paul and me to pull off our secret wedding.”
Franco laughed. “Yeah, but soon afterward Tony and Carmella pulled off their own even more private ceremony.”
Mama rolled her eyes. “Whoever heard of getting married in the mountains without an officiant.” But she smiled. “However, watching the video, I can see it was perfect for them, especially for Tony.”
“How have you put up with us all these years, Mama?”
“I can’t imagine a life without all of you and those you love.”
“Well, I give you permission to knock me upside the head to get my attention if you see that I’m missing out on what life has to offer.”
“Water under the bridge. I think you’re headed in the right direction now. It thrills me to hear about you and Rico. When he answered the door last Sunday and you were there, hope bloomed inside me again. But I do apologize if Gina and I interrupted anything.”
He waved away her words but had no intention of delving into that discussion. “We’re getting used to interruptions. I don’t know how parents find time to be alone.”
Mama laughed. “It isn’t easy, but you get creative after a while.”
No way did he want to think about Papa and Mama having sex, so he let that comment drop too.
When the timer went off, Mama got up and pulled the baking dish out of the oven and set it on the stove to cool before sitting down again. “That’ll be ready in a few minutes, then we’ll eat.” She paused a moment before adding, “As I said earlier, I suspected that you and Rico might be rediscovering each other these last couple of years.” She shrugged. “When nothing seemed to come of it, I thought I’d misread the clues myself.”
“Apparently, Mama, you rarely misread anything. Have you ever thought about going into fire investigation yourself?”
Mama laughed loud and heartily. “Good Lord, no! There are already enough family members in the fire service. I’m happy to stay in the auxiliary.”
“I’ll be honest, though. I didn’t really think anything would happen between Rico and me other than rekindling a friendship. That is, until Matteo’s wedding. Something woke me up there.”
“Really? I didn’t see you two together much at the ranch.”
He wasn’t going to tell Mama about that kiss at the side of the barn, either. “We got together for an informal date soon after their wedding, although I doubt either of us expected it would lead to where we are now.”
And absolutely no way would he mention the meetup at the Masters at Arms Club, although that had catapulted them light-years forward in their relationship.
Mama smiled. “All that’s important is that you’ve finally found someone to love who is worthy of you. And your love for Gina warms my heart. You’ll make a good papa someday, Franco. And I feel as if she’s my own granddaughter already, whether things work out for you and Rico or not.”
He blinked away sudden tears, happy she accepted him just as he was—and that she loved Rico and Gina so much too. Thoughts of becoming a papa to Gina hadn’t even crossed his mind yet—much—but he’d welcome her even further into his heart if things worked out between him and Rico.
Franco was two for two in revealing he was gay to the family members he was most apprehensive about speaking to, with neither one of them having been disgusted or even surprised. Dakota hadn’t had a problem with it, either.
Franco’s entire body seemed lighter, and the sky was the limit as far as his relationship with Rico or any other man was concerned. But he hoped Rico would be his one and only, because he was tired of meaningless hookups.
“Apparently, I’ve wasted a lot of years trying to hide something that seems to have been glaringly obvious to my family.” Mama gave him a quizzical look. “I told Rafe last weekend.”
She didn’t appear to be upset that he’d told his brother before her. “That went well, I take it? He hasn’t said anything to me.” Mama didn’t seem hurt that Rafe hadn’t confided in her, though.
“I asked him not to say anything to anyone. I wanted to do it in my own time and in my words.” Franco smiled. “His reaction was about the same as yours. He certainly didn’t seem surprised. You and Rafe were the ones I worried most about coming out to.”
Not counting Papa, but it was too late to tell him face-to-face.
Mama squeezed his hand. “Your family will always love and accept you, Franco. That’s what strong families do. Give the rest of the family a chance to know who you are too. Don’t hide from us anymore.”
“I’m tired of hiding, Mama.”
“Good. Now, what are you planning to do about letting everyone else in on your poorly kept secret?”
“I thought I’d let everyone else know at dinner today.”
“Gina knows about you two?”
Damn. How could he have forgotten that she’d be here with Rico? “You’re right. I need to talk with Rico first and see if and when he wants to discuss it with Gina. My siblings and their spouses have been out of the loop this long. They can wait a little longer. But Dakota knows. She saw us kissing at their wedding reception.”
Well, so much for that secret.
But Mama didn’t miss a beat. “And Matteo?”
He shook his head. “I asked her not to say anything just yet.” Rico needed to talk with Gina first before bringing the rest of the family on board.
Would Rico be ready to take that step anytime soon? Franco hadn’t anticipated Mama and Rafe would be so accepting. Now he needed to talk with Rico—but not in front of his family or Gina. He wondered if they’d already had their tour of the firehouse, but decided he’d wait until tonight when the two of them could be alone before he spoke with Rico about his feelings.
He definitely wouldn’t make any additional announcements before then.
Rico answered Franco’s call on the second ring. About time he called. “Hey, Stud Muffin, what’s up?”
Franco groaned. “I’ll assume the others aren’t around you now, but how do you know I’m not on speakerphone with someone within earshot?”
“Because you are way more cautious than that. You play everything close to the vest.”
“True.”
“Gina’s getting in one more riding lesson before we head to the fire station and then Breckenridge.”
“Ah. Well, I just wanted you to know that the days of my hiding are about to change.”
“Oh?”
Franco nodded. “Mama knows now too.”
Finally! Wait. Rico cocked his head. “I thought you had to work this morning.”
Franco didn’t say anything for a moment. “Well, turned out I didn’t go to the office. But I couldn’t wait any longer to talk with Mama, so I went out there instead of meeting you in Leadville.”
Even if Franco had planned this talk with Mama J long before his text last night, Rico didn’t care. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Franco! How’d she take it?” Not that Rico thought there would be any problem. She’d be as cool as his own mama and Aunt Sophia had been.
“About the same as Rafe.”
Rico laughed out loud. “Told you! You’ve never been hiding from anyone but yourself.”
“Apparently so.” Franco paused a moment. “I wish I could come out to the rest of my family at dinner, but I don’t want to say anything there until you and I talk about where we’re going. And then have a conversation with Gina, at least to the level you think best.”
Rico’s heart beat a little harder. Did this mean they were going to take their relationship to the next level and be more open with his family members? Gawd, I hope so.
“I don’t think we’ll have time before Mama J’s dinner today, so we can talk after Gina goes to bed tonight.”
“I’d like that.”
“Mama J and Rafe won’t spoil the surprise, will they?”
“No. But I probably won’t be able to keep my hands off you, Sweet Cheeks.”
Rico’s ass clenched in anticipation. And he loved the endearment Franco was using on him for the first time.
“Then I guess we’d better sit on opposite sides of the table and resort to playing footsie.”
“Just you wait until Gina’s in bed tonight.”
“Promises, promises, Sir.” The title slipped out, even though they weren’t in Dom/sub mode right now. Rico liked using the term whenever his thoughts went to sexy time with Franco, kink or no kink.
Up until now, they’d been supercautious at the apartment when Gina was around, which was most of the time, primarily because Franco hadn’t been ready to acknowledge even to Rico and Gina that they were a couple yet.
Were they now?
Hell, Rico wasn’t sure, but it sounded as if Franco was ready for a change in status. Rico was long past ready. He’d never felt as strongly about any man as he did about Franco.
The two of them definitely needed to talk about where they were going from here—and soon.
“I should be able to come over tonight after we get back to Denver. Maybe we can leave Mama’s by five or so and have a little time with Gina before bedtime.”
That Franco cared so much about Gina made him even more perfect for Rico. He couldn’t have a serious relationship with anyone who wouldn’t love her as much—or almost as much—as Rico did.
Dakota came around the side of the barn, just about where she’d caught him and Franco kissing at the reception. She mouthed an I’m sorry and started to leave, but Rico motioned for her to stay.
“How do you feel about me letting Dakota know that things are progressing as far as telling your family?”
Silence on the other end of the call. Hmm. Maybe that was premature.
“As long as she doesn’t say anything to Matteo before I do, I suppose that’s fine. She’s been good about keeping our secret up to now.”
“Actually, she’s standing nearby, if you’d like to be the one to choose the words.” Franco was a bit of a control freak, after all.
Again, a long pause before Franco responded, “Sure. Put her on.”
Rico waved Dakota closer, but also helped to narrow the gap and save her a few extra steps. She hadn’t been showing much until the last month or so, and then wow—two more months to her due date and already she looked like Michelle had when she was close to full term.
“Franco’s on the line and wanted to talk to you a minute.”
Dakota’s face lit up even more than normal, and she reached for the phone. “Hi, Franco. What’s up?”
Franco’s voice was strong enough that Rico heard every word he said, even though he halfway tried not to eavesdrop.
“Listen, I just wanted you to know that I’ve come out to Rafe and Mama. But I don’t think I’ll have a chance to talk with Matteo and my other siblings until possibly next weekend.”
“That’s wonderful! I hope it went well with them.”
“Better than expected. Thanks.”
“Congratulations! I’m sure that’s a weight off your shoulders. It won’t be any different with Matteo, I assure you. Did he tell you there’s a new hire at the station and he is totally open about being gay?”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Well, we’re having him and his husband over for dinner this week, and Matteo’s completely okay with it.”
“What about some of the other guys at the firehouse?”
Franco sounded cautious, as if he expected there might be a problem. Had someone said something hateful to him when he worked there?
“Not that I’ve heard. They’re such great crews that I hope not, anyway. We’re not living in the Dark Ages of even twenty years ago.”
“Let’s hope not.” Franco paused then changed the subject without further comment. “I guess I’ll be seeing you in a couple of hours at Mama’s.”
“You’d better believe I won’t miss a chance to enjoy her cooking! Sure beats mine and Matteo’s.”
The two wrapped up their conversation, and she handed the phone back to Rico, adding, “I think we’re ready to head to the firehouse now.”
“Okay, I won’t be but another minute or two.” He watched as Dakota turned and walked toward the house. Speaking into the phone, he said to Franco, “Is there some bigot I should be aware of at the firehouse?” Franco didn’t answer right away, which was all the answer Rico needed. “Is that why you didn’t join us today for the tour?”
“I don’t want to talk about it now. I know he won’t be a jerk around you two, but if he is, feel free to show him what happens when he crosses an openly gay man.”
Rico grinned, ready to do battle for his Dom. “You know I will.” Maybe Franco would confront the tool himself someday and shut him up once and for all.
Baby steps for now, though. Franco was coming out to his family, and that came first and foremost.