Chapter Forty-Three
The tables had now been turned, and Rico’s text to Franco last night had gone unanswered. Time for a diversion until he picked up Gina at school in a couple of hours. On Mondays, they liked to go out to eat and for ice cream before heading home.
He pulled out the box of envelopes holding the letters Michelle had written to her daughter in her final weeks. Despite the pain and distress she’d been in, his cousin had carefully handwritten each one then labeled each envelope for whatever occasion it was intended. There must still be two dozen unread messages in this box, some of which wouldn’t be delivered until Gina was much older.
One of these days, he should organize them in somewhat chronological order, but not everything was as easy to pin down to a specific point in time, such as the ones for her first period, first date, and more. But he had a rough idea.
Thanks for covering at least those two delicate subjects, Miche, especially her period.
Rico and Gina had read the first one on Christmas Eve and a second on Gina’s birthday last month. In anticipation of Easter coming up later this month, he looked to see if there was one for that. Sure enough. He pulled it out and found two other letters attached by the same paper clip.
His hand stilled as he read Your Father written on the business-sized envelope of one of them, while the other was addressed to Rico. Curious as to what Miche had said about Franco, he opened the letter addressed to him first.
Cuzzo,
How are you holding up? I’m sure you’ve drawn from an amazing place within to provide Gina with the best care anyone other than her mama could provide. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Now to the other letter attached here. It didn’t really fit anywhere else, and I wasn’t sure at what point you’d start to wonder about finding her bio dad, so I didn’t want you to wait too long before you read it. I figured by March or April, you’d have settled into your new role and could handle reading this.
You’ll know best when to broach this subject with Gina—perhaps when she’s in her teen years and acting out. Definitely before she goes off to college, please. Trust me, she’ll be no different than the two of us, so buckle up, Buttercup. But I wanted you to read this now so you can decide on the best timing.
Stay strong, Cuzzo. I’m sending light and love to you from the other side. I’ll be with you two forever.
Love,
Miche
What did Michelle want Gina to read about the man his cousin had sworn she didn’t know? Rico slipped the other letter out of its envelope and opened it. His hand shook with pent-up emotion and more than a little anxiety.
My Darling Gina,
One day, you will have questions about the man who helped make you—your biological father. I always expected that, when you asked, we would search for him together. But if you’re reading this, it means time ran out for me too soon. I am letting Zio Rico be the one to decide when it’s appropriate to share this letter with you. (Thank you, Cuzzo!)
He felt a little guilty for not finding this letter before making his decision to do the DNA search, but Rico continued to read.
I hope you haven’t felt deprived by not being raised by two parents. I tried to do all that I could to care for you in every way, and Zio Rico helped provide a man’s perspective.
But you also have a biological father. Unfortunately, he wasn’t someone I knew.
But Rico now knew who he was, although he considered himself as much or more her dad than Franco. Curious as to what Michelle wanted Gina to know about him, though, he continued to read.
Let me explain. I met him one night in May at the end of my freshman year in college, about nine months before you were born. I was close to flunking out and very upset. Of course, if I hadn’t been goofing off all year, I wouldn’t be there. Anyway, I made more really bad choices that night, like using a fake ID and drinking way too much.
Not that he hadn’t pulled the fake ID trick in college too. Would he be able to prevent Gina from doing the same? He hoped so, but maybe it was just a rite of passage.
My second big mistake, going home with someone I didn’t know. Never do either of these things, Gina! It’s terribly dangerous! I won’t be there to stop you, of course, but know that there are consequences to our actions, and sometimes we put ourselves in danger with our unsafe decisions.
I was very fortunate, though, and your bio dad didn’t hurt me. He seemed to be in a bad place emotionally too. Long story short, we both had too much to drink. Don’t do that either, Sweetheart!
Rico couldn’t help but grin at Michelle’s parenting advice from the great beyond.
Anyway, we spent the night together to give each other some comfort.
Okay, clearly this letter would be set aside until Gina was at least sixteen, maybe even until she was ready to go off to college, as Michelle suggested. He didn’t want to explain to her what the euphemism spent the night together meant anytime soon.
He read on.
But, you know what? I got lucky again, because the only consequence I faced was a good one—I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl—you, of course! My life would have been so empty without you in it, so I’m forever grateful to the man who fathered you. I probably would not have known the joy of motherhood otherwise.
Rico had never brought Franco around Michelle in those final days, but Franco had seen her photo. Hell, he’d even had the photo framed and gave it to Rico and Gina. And he still hadn’t seemed to recognize her. Would she have recognized Franco if he’d walked into her bedroom? Probably not, if she was as drunk as she said she’d been.
Rather than continue to torture himself, he went back to the letter.
I wish I could give you his name and contact information, but I don’t know it. When I found out I was pregnant, I went back to his apartment, but he’d moved out. Let me be totally honest, Sweetheart. I probably could have tracked him down through his landlord, but I was afraid he might take you away from me. Please don’t hate me for that. I couldn’t risk that, because I was already in love with you, even though I wouldn’t hold you in my arms for many months to come.
So I decided it was best not to involve him, because he hadn’t planned to father a baby that night. And perhaps I just wanted to be selfish and keep you all to myself.
But I hope that, with today’s technology, it will be easier for you to find him through DNA. You and Zio Rico can decide when the time is right—if ever—and whether to look for him or not. I’ll leave that up to you two. And I completely support you, whatever you decide. But it might be nice for you to at least attempt to find him so you can learn more about your family medical history. I’ll help however I’m able to from Heaven.
If you do find him, though, I pray he will acknowledge you and want to be a part of your life.
But, Gina, remember this. Zio Rico has always been more of a papa to you than anyone else could ever be. One day, I’m sure you will call Rico Papa, and that is how it should be.
Tears stung his eyes making the words blur on the paper. Rico wanted nothing more than for Gina to be his own daughter. Having Michelle’s blessing made it easier to talk with Gina about being adopted by him someday.
Or would that be an issue with Franco? If so, too bad.
The rest of the letter wasn’t as emotionally overwhelming, and she’d signed it as she had the one at Christmas.
Rico dashed away the tears from his cheeks. Adopting Gina wasn’t the issue at hand today. What was he going to tell her about Franco? Was he ready to let the man take on some sort of fatherly role in Gina’s life, even if that didn’t include having a relationship with Rico? Could they continue after the fallout?
He had so much to consider and still hadn’t decided what to tell Gina. Where should he even start? Miche’s letter hadn’t shed any light on that. Glancing at his watch, he saw he had plenty of time to start sorting the letters, which he did.
However, his thoughts kept straying to Franco.
I miss you, Stud Muffin.
After work on Monday, Franco rang the buzzer to Rico’s apartment, holding a bouquet of flowers as a peace offering. He wished he had some of Angelina’s cannoli to sweeten the deal, but he hadn’t had time to drive to Breckenridge this morning, what with all the reports he needed to finish on Friday’s arson at Victor and Patti’s apartment building and its aftermath. The last few days had been nonstop hell.
Knowing they had nowhere to go, he’d invited Victor and Patti to move into his spare bedroom until they could rent another apartment.
The resolution of this latest arson case had literally fallen into his lap, but Franco intended to compare the evidence he’d collected at all the other fires to see if additional fires could be attributed to Hendricks. When he came to trial, the firebug faced five counts of murder, one of kidnapping, and who knows how many arson cases? That he ultimately threw himself under the bus was poetic justice.
If only they could have found him before he set the Richards family’s garage on fire, not to mention the trauma he caused so many people in his wake.
This case had taught Franco some valuable lessons. Mainly that life was too short to hold grudges or be estranged from those he loved.
Franco refused to let Rico slip away without a fight.
However, receiving no answer on the intercom after several buzzer rings, Franco wondered if they were even home. He went back outside the building and searched the parking area but didn’t see Rico’s flashy sports car. Maybe they’d gone out to eat or to the zoo or something. He wasn’t sure if he should leave and come back later but decided to wait a while in his Yukon.
He laid the flowers on the seat beside him. The bouquet reminded him of the one he’d given last fall to Gina—his daughter, although he hadn’t known it at the time. He hoped Rico would accept this one in the spirit it was intended. At the very least, that it would get him in the door so they could talk.
Speaking of which, Franco still hadn’t been able to tell Mama the news about his being Gina’s bio dad. He didn’t want to do it over the phone, but there hadn’t been an opportunity to visit with her. Would learning the news hurt her more than not knowing, especially if Rico decided to keep Gina from seeing the Giardano family?
Surely Rico wouldn’t take his anger that far, but he’d been pretty pissed.
Franco’s biggest fear right now was that he’d have no connection with Gina and Rico, not unless he fought for his paternal rights. No way could he have a daughter and not want to be a part of her life.
But he’d only piss Rico off more by doing something like that.
Not quite thirty minutes later, Rico pulled into the lot for the apartment building. Gina spotted his Yukon immediately, jumped out, waved, and ran toward him. His eyes stung with unshed tears at the sight of his daughter running toward him so enthusiastically. Best feeling in the world. God, he’d missed her.
Rico, on the other hand, hung back and simply stared in his direction.
Picking up the bouquet from the seat, he exited his vehicle and started walking toward her.
“Zio Franco! I’m so glad you’re here. I have math homework I need help on.”
At least he had that going for him on the list of Papa attributes.
“Oh, are those for me?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
Franco smiled, finding it hard to get a word in edgewise as she flitted from one topic to the next. At least one of them was happy to see him.
“I thought you and Zio Rico could share the flowers this time.” Not wanting to disappoint her, Franco handed the bouquet to Gina, even if they had been intended more for the surly man standing beside his car.
“I love daffodils and tulips!”
“Great!”
Gina hugged him tigher, melting his heart.
Franco’s focus turned to Rico, who had yet to say a word. Awkward. Maybe entering the lion’s den hadn’t been such a good idea after all.
“If we finish my homework fast, can we play some games? I’ve missed you so much!”
Franco didn’t know how he would be able to go through life without her. But he also wanted Rico to be a part of his life. Glancing at Rico over her head as he hugged her, Franco waited for the invitation to come up.
“If you can come up for a little while, that would be great,” Rico said.
Okay, not the warm greeting I intended, but still an opening of the door.
“I’d love to.”
Did he detect a spark of the old Rico in his eyes, or was it wishful thinking?
“You should have come earlier,” Gina told him as they walked toward the entrance while she gently touched one of the tulips. “We went out to eat and got ice cream.”
“Sorry I missed that, but work’s been pretty crazy since Friday.”
Franco planned to stick around until after Gina went to bed, unless Rico kicked him out sooner. He couldn’t go another day without talking with Rico.
A few hours later, after Gina had beat the pants off them, it was time to get Gina to bed.
“You can come say goodnight to her, if you’d like,” Rico said grudgingly.
“I’d love nothing more.”
Franco went first, pulling the blanket up over her and staring down at this perfect little person he’d helped make. Once again, tears stung his eyes, only this time, he couldn’t contain them.
“Why are you sad, Zio Franco?”
He sat on the side of the mattress. “Oh, I’m not sad at all. Sometimes grownups cry when they’re happy too.”
“I don’t feel like crying, but I am really happy you came tonight.” Her smile twisted him in knots.
My little girl.
He thought he’d loved her before, but this new bond multiplied that feeling a thousandfold.
How’d I get to be blessed like this?
She closed her eyes, then opened one eye again to peek at him.
“She’s waiting for you to give her a goodnight kiss on the forehead,” Rico explained.
Oh! He’d learn her rituals over time but bent over to place a kiss on her head. “Night, Baby.”
“Night, Zio Franco.”
He’d better get out of here before he became a blubbering mess. Someday, he wanted to hear her call him Papa, but he could wait until Rico was ready.
Back in the living room after Rico did his goodnight ritual, Franco held his breath, not sure if Rico would lash out at him again. But he was tired of playing it safe and tiptoeing around this issue.
“Rico, we need to talk.”
Rico nodded and took a seat on the couch, much as he had the last time Franco had been here when he’d gotten the news of the paternity test results.
“I need to talk to you too.”
Franco held up a hand. “Let me go first.” He’d been rehearsing these lines ever since he’d left work. “Sorry I didn’t see your text until the wee hours. It’s been crazy at work, but we caught the arsonist.”
“That’s great! I know the case has been weighing on you.”
“Turned out to be Patti Varga’s ex-boyfriend, out on parole of all things. He tried to burn down their apartment building with her in it.”
“Shit!”
After relaying more of the details of the rescues and the investigation, Franco went on, “Anyway, with all the reports and evidence to catalog, I’ve been working nonstop since Friday.”
“No worries. I just wanted to…talk with you, is all.”
Talk with him? Should he wait to see what he wanted to say first? No, because if he wanted to tell him he couldn’t have anything to do with Gina, that wouldn’t end well. Better to plead his case first.
“Let me finish,” Franco said.
“By all means.”
“Rico, you mean the world to me. And so does that little girl.” He paused, his mouth suddenly dry, and he looked around for his glass, but it was on the dining-room table. “Anyway, I can’t imagine life without both of you in it.” There. He’d said it. “Rico, give me a chance to prove to you that I’m ready to be the man both of you deserve.”
When Rico didn’t say anything back, Franco continued. “Before you came into my life, I was living a lie, but the one I lied to the most was myself. I convinced myself I needed the anonymity of the big city in order to let down my guard and be my authentic self. But that’s bullshit.”
Rico’s lips twitched as if he found this humorous in some way. Better than a glower.
“I want to show you and Gina how seriously I take my role as her papa as well as your boyfriend. I want to show her off to my family, my friends, my coworkers. I’m not the clueless, disconnected man I used to be. I want to hold your hand in public. I want to kiss you no matter who’s watching. I’m never going back to living the lie I wrapped myself in since high school.”
Franco took a few breaths. “You’re my family, Rico. You’re my man. I’d do anything in my power to protect, love, and cherish you and Gina for the rest of my life.”
Please, don’t give up on us. We belong together. We were meant to be together.
How could he not see that?
Rico stared at him in silence a few moments more, making Franco uncomfortable. Then Rico smiled. “I’m glad I remained quiet while you spoke. Wouldn’t have missed hearing you say those things for anything in the world.”
Franco breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for that. I wasn’t even sure you’d let me in the place earlier.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t totally over being all butt hurt, but I’ve come to the realization that Gina needs you as much as me. How could I deny her after seeing how happy she was that you came?”
Worry crept into Franco’s eyes.
“Don’t get your briefs in a twist, Stud Muffin. I’ve also come to a few realizations about myself—and us. Among the most important, as frustrating as you may be sometimes trying to show one face to the world and a different one in the privacy of your apartment, seeing you flying your freak flag makes me giddy. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. And the you I prefer is the authentic Franco.”
“It’s hard to flip my personality overnight. I’ve spent a lifetime hiding who I was from everyone—or at least, thinking I was hiding. I’m curious why you’ve let go of blaming me for that night with Michelle.”
“I found a letter she wrote to Gina, as well as one to me, where she insisted she had no regrets. What right have I to get all resentful if she held no animosity toward you?”
“I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel. The not knowing what actually went down that night has—” His voice became gravelly and his words cut off before he cleared his throat.
Franco stood and walked over to Rico, taking his hand and pulling him off the couch and into his arms. After so long apart, he needed to taste him. His lips closed in on Rico’s and he kissed him long and hard. His hands stroked his back, pulling him closer all the while trying to touch him.
They broke off the kiss. “I’ve missed you,” both said simultaneously.
“Don’t ever freeze me out like that again, boi. There will be ramifications.”
“Promise me there aren’t any other secrets you’re hiding?”
“I didn’t even know I was hiding that one,” Franco argued.
“True enough. Want to spend the night?”
“Victor and Patti are staying at my place. Being with you tonight would be nice, if you don’t think it will be a problem for Gina.”
“She’s been wanting us all together practically since she first met you. Maybe we can tell her about the DNA in the morning before she heads to school.”
“You sure she’d want to go off to school with news like that and not have us around to answer her questions?”
“Good point. I can see you’re going to be the parent who uses logic in decision-making.”
Franco grinned. “We’ll both use logic. I just don’t think our logical ideas mesh all the time.” He sobered. “Before we tell her, though, we need to do one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I want to be tested. I have no doubt Gina’s my daughter, but I don’t want her to ever doubt it. I want her to have the paper proving no one but me could be her bio dad.”
Rico stroked his arm. “I hadn’t even thought to ask you to do that, but thanks. I’ll go with you to the lab whenever you can get away from work. How’d you get so good at this parenting stuff?”
“Nothing to it.” He leaned in to kiss Rico chastely on the cheek, then said, “That’s bullshit talk. We’re both going to be amazing parents—and we’ll have to be on our A game at all times with that little girl. She’s going to keep us on our toes.”
“Ain’t that the truth?”