Chapter Two #4
But what he felt or wanted didn’t matter.
It was Franklin who was suffering the most here.
Reed felt sorry for him, and he knew that the less time they spent together, the better it would be for Franklin.
He’d been planning to ask to be involved in the raid and everything else these people would do with the information he’d give them, but not anymore.
He needed to put as much distance as possible between him and Franklin.
They would never be together, and he was pretty sure that Franklin hated him, but Franklin was still his mate. That meant that Reed would do anything he could to make Franklin’s life easier, even if that meant vanishing from his life.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll give you all the information I gathered,” he told Rikar and Moore.
“How much do you want to be involved?” Moore asked.
“I don’t want to be involved. I don’t think it’s a good idea considering what just happened.”
Reed could feel Moore watching him. He still wasn’t sure what to think of the man, but he wasn’t unpleasant. Reed didn’t feel like he was in danger. He did feel like Moore was trying to read him, though.
What was he seeing? Would he accept that Franklin wouldn’t have to deal with Reed ever again?
It would be the smartest thing. All of this would hurt Franklin initially, but what would be worse?
The pain of losing his mate, or the pain of realizing that his mate was a monster?
Reed didn’t know. He didn’t know much of anything.
He just wanted to make this as easy as possible for Franklin.
It wouldn’t be, especially initially, but he’d be fine.
He might even be happy eventually, especially if they managed to get Garrett out of the lab.
Moore hummed. “You’re right. On the surface, it does seem like it would be a bad idea.”
Reed snorted. “Just on the surface? We both know it would be a disaster.”
Rikar and Moore looked at each other. They did the silent conversation thing again, which pushed Reed to look away.
He’d never thought he’d have a mate. In the past few years, his life had been focused on surviving.
Before then, he’d been human, and he’d fully expected to end up in a relationship with a human and live like everyone else.
He didn’t feel like he deserved a mate, and he especially didn’t deserve Franklin.
Well, whatever he deserved or didn’t deserve, he didn’t have a say in things. Neither did Franklin. They were mates, and that was that.
That didn’t mean they had to be together.
“You don’t have to be involved if you’d rather not be,” Moore said. “But I don’t think you should ignore the fact that you’re Franklin’s mate. You know what that means for a shifter. You know what Franklin will be missing if you’re not in his life.”
“I know that there’s no way he wants me in his life,” Reed pointed out.
“Why should he? I worked for the Glass Research Company. Even when I knew it was wrong, I didn’t leave.
The only reason I did in the end was that I became one of their subjects.
Maybe I’m not a monster like some of the scientists, but I’m definitely not an angel. ”
“I don’t think Franklin is looking for an angel.”
“He’s looking for his brother. I know Garrett. I’ve worked with him.”
Rikar cocked his head. “Have you hurt him? Were you one of the scientists who did whatever happened in there?”
It would possibly be easier if Reed’s answer to this question could be yes.
That would definitely break anything that might have happened between him and Franklin.
He wasn’t going to lie, though. “I never did any of the experiments myself. I was only a lab technician. I prepared samples, and yes, I did run some tests, but they never expected me to be in the thick of it. That wasn’t my job. ”
“What happened with Garrett, then?”
“I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry for all of them, and I tried to help as many people as I could, but I had to be careful. Then, when I became what I am now, I was forced to hurt Garrett. He never blamed me for it. As soon as he realized that I was a mutant and that there was nothing I could do to stop the experiments, he stopped fighting. When I was there, he let me do whatever I was ordered to do. He knew neither of us had a choice, and it killed me almost every time.” He leaned over the table.
“Trust me. I never went into this wanting to hurt people. I’m a lab technician, for fuck’s sake.
I thought that I would clean the equipment and analyze data.
How could I have expected to end up in a place like that lab?
How could I have thought that someone would expect me to do what they had me do?
I know that I should’ve left much sooner, and I didn’t, and that will always be my fault, but I’m not a monster.
” Or maybe he was. It wasn’t his place to decide that, was it?
Reed didn’t feel like a monster, but he’d behaved like one, and maybe that was enough to make him one.
Maybe there was no way for him to ever atone.
Maybe his punishment would be to live with this on his conscience for the rest of his life, alone and miserable.
Just maybe, that was what he deserved.