Chapter 25
Jessie
Ilatch the bathroom stall door behind me before I let myself panic.
That kiss felt like . . . more. More than any other kiss we’ve shared.
This is exactly why we have rules. I loved spending the past hour with Trey—learning about his world, meeting his people, seeing the excitement on his face, but I should’ve stayed with Kacey and Carson. I’m getting in way too deep.
I know what Trey thinks he feels for me, what he wants.
He hasn’t said it aloud, but it’s written all over his face.
How do I tell him he’s wrong? He’s a ladies’ man, not the relationship type—and even if he was, I’m not the girl for him.
He’s kind, successful, and deserves someone better than me.
Someone who comes from a good family and can support him in ways I can’t.
Someone like the nice, attractive blonde barrel racer he’s such good friends with.
I can’t believe he caught me being jealous. I have got to get my shit together.
I shake my head. It doesn’t matter. His doctor’s appointment is this coming week. Once he’s back on the road, this will be over. I’ll make it clear there is nothing between us, and when he comes home in the fall, I’ll just avoid him at all costs. Easy.
I let myself spiral for longer than I should in a public bathroom before I collect myself and text Kacey.
Jessie
Where are you sitting? I’m about to come up. Need anything?
Kacey
Section 7. We’re all good, thanks.
I make it to my seat, and Kacey leans around Lainey. “What’s wrong?” she asks.
Guess I didn’t pull myself together as much as I thought I did.
Carson looks past the girls at me as I quickly brush her off. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Yes, there is,” Lainey chimes in, though she doesn’t look away from the rodeo action in the arena.
“What makes you think something is wrong?”
“Because of your face,” Kacey whisper-shouts.
“My face is fine. Watch the rodeo.” I face the saddle bronc riding, ignoring her watchful eyes.
She only makes it two minutes before she leans over to whisper, “Did something happen with Trey?”
Lainey gets up without a word and trades Kacey seats. I can hear her say something to Carson, but I can’t make it out.
“Nothing happened. Nothing is going to happen. He’ll leave soon, and it will be like it never happened.”
“I don’t think—” Kacey gets cut off by Carson exiting the row.
“I’m getting a drink. Anyone else want one?”
Lainey doesn’t answer, and Kacey shakes her head, but I give in and nod. If Kacey’s going to interrogate me, I’ll need one.
My phone vibrates.
Trey
If you see a ridiculously good-looking guy in a navy shirt pulling bull ropes, that’s me. Feel free to catcall, take photos, or request an autograph after.
I can’t contain my smile. Kacey leans over, invading my personal space to read the text without asking, like only a best friend would. It vibrates again.
Trey
I don’t normally sign boobs, but I’m very fond of yours, so for you I will do it.
Jessie
Do I need to make a new rule?
Trey
No...? Unless it’s a rule saying I get to sign your boobs.
Jessie
If you’re lucky, you can sign them with your tongue later.
Kacey snorts. “I always knew you’d make a great bull rider’s girlfriend.” She grabs my phone, passing it to Lainey. “Look how cute they are.”
Lainey’s brows raise as she reads. “Kacey’s right, you two are perfect for each other.”
“I am not his girlfriend. Give that back.”
“Of course. You’re just the girl he lives with, sleeps in bed with, has sex with, and is possessive over. That’s absolutely nothing like a relationship, my mistake.” Kacey and Lainey snicker as they pass my phone back.
Assholes.
Trey
Lots of dirty thoughts are entering my brain… Truck in ten minutes?
I ignore him.
“He’s not possessive,” I mumble.
“Oh please, did you see the way his eyes threw daggers at those bull riders checking you out earlier?”
Yes. I did. But I chose to ignore it. I’m not his to possess.
Knox rode great, and Kacey was so cute getting a video and cheering him on.
Chancey Williams is playing a concert after the rodeo, and of course, Knox and Trey had connections to get us all arena floor passes for it.
Knox and Kacey made it a whole two songs before they ditched us and headed for the camper.
I can’t say I blame them—alone time is hard to come by for them during the summer.
Trey has been mindful of our no-PDA rule the entire concert. It’s frustrating. I know, I know. I made the damn rule, but he hates rules. He could break it—it wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, swing dancing is hardly PDA.
I watch Trey and Emily chat, before long, he’s leading her to the packed dirt where couples swing dance. Halfway through the song, Lainey grabs me by the elbow, dragging me toward the bathroom.
“Come on, killer. You look like you’re about to knock her teeth out. He told you they’re just friends.”
“Exactly. He and I are friends. What if they’re the same kind of friends?” We dodge two drunk girls in cut-off shorts and white boots leaving the bathroom as we enter it. “You know what? I don’t even care.”
Lainey laughs. “Sure, you don’t. For saying he’s not your boyfriend, you sure do get fighting mad when other women go near him.”
“I’m not mad. She’s a tramp. A successful, perky, beautiful tramp,” I say, checking my makeup in the mirror. I told Kacey and Lainey about Emily earlier tonight. Kacey had met her before and confirmed their friendship, saying if they’ve ever slept together, she doesn’t know about it.
“Why don’t you just date him? You both clearly want that,” Lainey probes.
“We can’t date. You don’t understand.”
“Okay, then explain. I’ve got all night.”
I blow out a breath. “The short of it is he’s a player, he isn’t the settling down type, and I already have enough going on in my life. I just . . . I like him, but it will never work. It’s better we never try and no one gets hurt.”
Lainey looks at me like a puzzle she’s working out, and it makes my skin feel tight. She knows I’m keeping something from her, but I can’t tell her all the reasons Trey and I will never happen.
“That doesn’t mean I like watching him dance with someone else.” I’m being unreasonable. I can’t sort my feelings out; I feel stuck. There isn’t anything I can do to change the situation—all I can do is protect us both and let him go when he leaves.
“Well, I think the best way to keep her away from him would be to dance with him yourself.” She winks at me.
“You know what, that’s not a bad idea.” I down the rest of my drink, turn on my heel.
“Wait, I still have to pee.” She hurries into a stall.
“Ugh, hurry up.”
“Is Carson upset about something? He’s hardly spoken all night.” Her muffled voice comes from the stall.
“I haven’t really noticed. He isn’t a big talker and doesn’t like leaving the ranch much.”
She washes her hands. “Yeah, I guess.”
We find Carson standing at the back of the crowd. Now that I look at him, he does look extra grumpy today. I scan the makeshift dance floor and sure enough, they’re still dancing together.
“Ah, shit,” Carson sighs next to me.
“What?” Lainey furrows her brow.
“I know that look. Nothing good ever comes from that look.”
Fuck it.
I leave Lainey with Carson as I stride across the floor, causing couples to stumble and dance around me.
“Hey,” I say.
Trey and Emily’s heads snap in my direction.
“I saw a loose horse in the parking lot. It looked like yours.”
“What?” Emily shouts. She releases Trey and dashes off the dance floor toward the parking lot.
I take her position with Trey and start dancing. He looks shocked but doesn’t miss a step. “I should go help her,” he says, looking in the direction she ran.
“I’m sure she’s fine. She seems capable.”
“Wait a second, what color was the horse?” I can see the wheels turning in his head.
Shit, I have no idea. I just made it up.
“Uh, a–a b–bay,” I stutter.
“Jessie,” he groans. He stops to pull out his phone. I watch as he fires off a text to Emily telling her I was mistaken. “She doesn’t own a bay horse.”
“Oops, my mistake.” I smile brightly.
“If you wanted to dance, all you had to do was ask.”
“Oh, did Emily ask permission?”
“As a matter of fact, she did. She was trying to make a calf roper jealous, but then I kept her out here, and it ended up working out for me. You looked like you were about to fistfight her over me.” His cocky smile makes my stomach drop.
“You didn’t.”
“Oh, yes, I did. Do you still think we need rule number nine?”
The nerve of this man.
“Excuse me. Can I cut in?” One of the bull riders I met earlier taps Trey’s shoulder.
“Fuck off, she’s taken,” he barks, and the man practically leaps backwards.
“Well, I’ll be. Trey Bennett finally settling down. That’s a bet I would’ve lost.” He strides off, still laughing.
“Now who’s jeal—”
“Yeah, yeah,” he cuts me off, pulling me closer. “Let’s just call it even.”
I bite my lip as he spins me around. We dance the rest of the night.
“That woman ran away from you. Literally ran away. What the fuck did you say to her?” Carson asks on our way back to the truck.
“None of your business. This is your reminder never to get on my bad side.” I give him a sickly-sweet smile.
He scrunches his nose.
I watched Kacey tell Knox goodbye. The sadness in her eyes and silence in the truck on the way home is just one more reason Trey and I are over when he leaves.
Kacey has the flexibility to take time off and travel with Knox, and it’s still so hard.
She misses him so much. Sure, Trey and I have a lot of fun when we’re together, but I don’t have that flexibility or financial freedom. We would never see each other.
It’s the middle of the night when we get home. Trey locks the door behind us, and we both brush our teeth before practically falling into bed.
He immediately pulls me into his chest. We’ve fallen into the bad habit of always sleeping together, even on the nights we don’t have sex. I already know when he leaves, I’ll miss his arm draped over me, the safety and comfort. Not to mention the heat that radiates off him.
“Kacey seemed sadder than normal.”
Trey hesitates before saying, “Yeah. I know she worries about him traveling alone. It’s a lot of driving.”
“What about you? Do you prefer traveling alone or with someone?”
“With someone for sure, but not just to split the driving. I like being around people, having someone to talk to.”
“No. I hadn’t noticed.”
“Ha, ha, funny girl. I don’t exactly see you kicking me out.”
Like always, I’m braver in the dark. I loop my arm around his and squeeze. “Nope.”
He kisses the top of my head, and we both drift to sleep.