Theo
M y shoes clacked against the tiled floor as I paced back and forth, my hands twisting together. The lawyer I paid an astronomical amount of money to represent me was sitting on a bench, an ankle resting on his knee, as he scrolled on his phone.
“Shouldn’t they be here by now?” I asked.
He flicked his gaze to me, his gray hair combed neatly to the side. He was the vision of cool, calm, and collected—completely unbothered.
Relax? I almost laughed. I was freaking out, because any second now, I was going to meet my daughter.
Fuck.
I had a daughter .
The building towered around me, all high ceilings and stark white marble. I wanted to run. Hide. Wake up from this nightmare. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact I’d had a daughter for the last twelve years and hadn’t known.
A part of me was upset I’d missed out on so much, but a bigger part, the shittier part, wished she would’ve stayed an unknown secret. I was about to become a partner at work. I wanted to buy a new penthouse. Dubai was calling my name for a much-needed vacation.
But everything stopped the second I found out about her.
Scout. My daughter.
I shoved my fingers through my hair and continued pacing, my nerves shot.
I’d only known about her for two days. Two of the longest, most anxiety-ridden days of my life. Other than calling my lawyer and getting a paternity test—that turned out to be positive—I hadn’t done a damn thing. Nothing was ready. Nothing was in place.
I was completely unprepared and out of my element.
“What do twelve-year-old’s even eat?” I blurted. “What do they like to do? What do they watch? Or read? Do kids even read anymore?” Both hands went to the top of my head, and I laced my fingers together in a death grip.
“Well, you can ask her yourself,” Elliot said, still scrolling. “Look alive, kid. There she is.”
The whole world stopped—even my heart stopped beating.
I froze midstep, sweat gathering along my back. I knew my eyes were massive as they snapped to Elliot’s face.
“What?” I croaked.
“She’s coming this way.” He nodded behind me.
No way she was here already. No way .
My feet were rooted to their spot. I couldn’t move—I didn’t want to move. I rested my trembling hand over my heart, feeling it thunder beneath my palm. Was that normal? Was I having a heart attack?
Elliot groaned as he got to his feet, and I shook my head. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t—I was not ready.
My breath came in short gasps. I tried to reflect Elliot’s calm exterior. But the harder I tried, the worse it seemed to get.
He clapped me on the shoulder, giving me a tight-lipped smile. “It’s not about you anymore. It’s about her. So get yourself together and put on a brave face for that little girl.”
It was like a punch to the gut. I blinked as he pulled away, his voice seeming to carry to every corner of the courthouse as he greeted the social worker and… her .
My daughter.
The kid walking toward me who had no idea who I was and every reason not to trust me.
I was just some man to her. A stranger. Nothing more than a sperm donor.
But Elliot was right—this wasn’t about me. As anxious as I was, she had to be ten times more terrified.
The thought sobered me up enough to push the worst of my anxiety aside. My hands still trembled, and my knees shook, but I forced myself to turn around.
And then I saw her.
It nearly brought me to my knees.
Her hair was wild—big, messy blonde waves framing her face. An up-turned nose. Freckles dotted across her cheeks. She looked exactly like Trinity did when she was her age. Tall and gangly, almost too skinny. She even wore a hoodie and jeans like Trinity always did.
My throat closed up as Scout’s gaze shifted to me.
Blue.
Blue eyes, just like mine.
Elliot and Elizabeth spoke for a few moments, but I couldn’t do anything but stare at her. My daughter. My kid. My flesh and blood.
She was mine.
A Caldwell.
I’d made her—god, she was mine.
And she was beautiful.
Tears welled in my eyes as I watched the way she shifted her backpack from one shoulder to the other, her sneakers squeaking on the floor with the movement. Everything about her was amazing. She was alive because of me .
I wanted to say something, anything , but no words would come out.
She glanced at me again, then quickly away. But I couldn’t. It was like everything around me melted away.
And then her light blonde brows pinched together as she shifted a glare toward me.
“You got a staring problem or something?”
I blinked. “What?”
“You keep staring at me.”
“I just—I— what ?”
She folded her arms across her chest, her expression staying in that neutral scowl as if waiting for an answer—one I couldn’t provide.
My mouth opened, then closed. I knew I probably looked like a damn fish, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. I swallowed thickly, my throat like sandpaper. Elliot shifted his weight from one foot to the next, a thick hush falling over the four of us.
Scout stepped closer to Elizabeth, and she wrapped her hands around the straps of her backpack. Her eyes flicked from Elliot, to me, then to Elizabeth.
“Can we get this over with?” she muttered. My heart tightened. Of course she wasn’t looking forward to this—she wasn’t happy to see me. To meet me.
We were only here because her mother was dead.
Elizabeth told me about Scout’s mother's accident a few nights ago, how they found her car wrapped around a tree. She was dead at the scene, but I was sure that information didn’t make Scout feel any better.
She’d lost her mother, and now she had to meet her father—a father who had no idea she’d even existed before a couple days ago.
“Yeah,” I agreed, my voice raw. “Let’s just do this.”
Scout’s jaw ticked, but she said nothing else. She just stared down at her scuffed Converse.
The next thirty minutes were a whirlwind of legal jargon I didn’t understand, a daughter who wouldn’t look my direction, and a growing sense of dread filling my stomach like a lead balloon.
When the judge was done going over everything, she set the stack of papers on her desk and turned toward me. Her dark eyes, surrounded by wrinkles, stared at me across the small courtroom.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other under her scrutiny. But she didn’t waver. She just stared.
And then she said, “Do right by this child. Don’t mess up. Don’t make her life harder than it already is. Be a good parent—be a good man.”
My throat almost closed. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t swallow.
Be a good man .
Those words echoed around in my head—the same words my father had said to me over and over, a million times.
Be. A. Good. Man.
Like it was so easy. For him, for Ronan? It was. But for me? I didn’t know why I didn’t inherit his moral compass. All I did was fuck up at every turn.
“With that…” The judge stared at me for a beat longer. “You’re all set. You can take Scout home.”
I stared at her. That couldn’t be right.
But Elliot began gathering his papers, and Elizabeth was whispering something to Scout, and the judge was getting ready to leave. And all I could do was stare.
“Wait,” I blurted, my voice too loud. Everyone froze. The judge paused, her gray brows lifting. “That’s it? That’s— it ?”
Her face softened just a fraction. “Yes, Mr. Caldwell. That’s it. She’s in your temporary care now.”
Elliot rested his hand on my back, but I could barely feel it. “But…is there…like…” I was hyperventilating. “Is there a manual? A rulebook? Is there—what do I do?”
Somewhere in the distance, I heard someone snort, and I inherently knew it was my daughter. Something inside me recoiled at the sound.
She doesn’t think you’re good enough.
No one does.
“You okay?” Elliot murmured, and I choked out a laugh.
“Yeah, sure. I’m totally fine. Just having a panic attack in a government building. No big fucking deal.”
He chuckled breathily before pulling away. “You got this, kid. She’s in good hands.”
Yeah, I didn’t know if I believed that.