Chapter 16
We usually hang out at one of the girls’ houses on Saturday before spending the rest of the weekend with our families.
Today we’re at Deanna’s, but I can tell she kind of wishes we weren’t.
She seems relieved when Kenny, Mel, and Alice mention leaving to catch the Nordstrom sale.
Alice asks the rest of us to come along, but Deanna quickly declines.
Kayla tells Alice she’s tired and opts out for me too. The girls take off.
Kayla gets a text and rolls her eyes. “My dad wants us to pick up his order from Home Depot before we come back,” she says.
I know she just wants to go home and get back to our new weekend tradition—snacks and Game of Thrones.
We’ve practically taken over the family room with our marathons, and our parents seem genuinely pleased by it.
Last night, we were up until midnight watching.
I had to remind Kayla that Deanna would have my head if we didn’t show up today.
“Want to come with or I can grab you on the way back?” she asks.
I look at Deanna for confirmation that I should stay. She gives it with a smirk.
“I’ll stay,” I tell Kayla, who’s already opening the door.
“Kay, I’ll be back!”
Deanna pauses before closing the door and looks at me. “Actually, let’s go for a walk,” she decides.
“You mean like outside, in nature?” I ask playfully, pulling on my sneakers. I’m surprised by the suggestion because this group seems to drive everywhere.
“Haha, Jasmine. Yes, out there,” she says, stepping into a pair of bedazzled blue Crocs.
“Those are very, very blue,” I say, pointing to her feet.
She pushes her foot out to show them off. “I’m loyal to the color I like,” she says. “And the people.”
She loves to make me squirm. I lower my head to hide my blushing as I tie my laces.
We head outside and there’s a slight chill in the air, but it’s still nice enough for a walk. Her part of the neighborhood doesn’t have sidewalks like mine. Instead, each house has a long driveway. I think it’s cool that you can’t really see any front doors from the street.
“It’s so private over here,” I say as we walk past her neighbor’s.
“Yeah, but it’s got nothing on Alice’s part, where the houses are practically little islands,” she says. I was actually thinking that but didn’t want to sound rude.
Deanna’s pulling her hair into a ponytail when I see a diamond hoop is missing.
“What happened to your earring?” I ask.
She touches the empty spot and sighs. “I lost it at the carnival but I didn’t notice until I got home. I’m sure it’s gone.”
“Sorry to hear that. Are you gonna replace it?”
She touches the spot again. “It’s sorta irreplaceable. I have to get something, though, so the hole doesn’t close.”
“I’m sorry I brought it up,” I say.
“No, it’s okay. You’re not curious about why?”
“Why it’s irreplaceable? I mean, it’s probably expensive.”
“They’re from Francesca’s in the mall.” She chuckles. “It meant something more.”
I feel silly for my answer but make a mental note of where she got them. “What did it mean to you?”
“I don’t remember if I told you about my ex that my parents still think I should marry after college?”
I shake my head.
“Oh, well, I got it after we broke up. Sort of like a freedom gift to myself.”
I stop walking and turn to her, confusion all over my face. She tries to straighten out my turned-down lips and laughs.
“Tell me more,” I say.
“Long story short, he had a lot of opinions. Sometimes it felt like he was controlling my whole life. One of those opinions was that having more than two ear piercings was unladylike. I’d wanted this piercing for forever but didn’t want to get into it with him, so I never got it.
He eventually broke up with me because I wore this bikini my mom bought me to his pool party and he said I embarrassed him. ”
“He sounds crazy, and I want the long story at some point.”
She pushes me playfully and I tell her I’m serious.
We keep walking and she continues. “I got you. Anyway, after crying for like a week straight, the girls took me to get the piercing and those earrings were like love at first sight. I decided that next time something had to give, it wouldn’t be me. I’m not changing for anyone else.”
I clap for her, and she smiles.
“You shouldn’t. I think you’re amazing exactly how you are,” I tell her honestly, eyes straight ahead.
“Stop and say it to my face,” she demands.
I turn to her. Her head is tilted, and her hands are on her hips.
“Again, please,” she says.
“Deanna, I think you’re amazing exactly how you are,” I declare, looking her full-on in the face.
Her smile is so wide each corner seems to reach her ears. “Oh, so you want to go to homecoming with me is what you’re saying?”
I laugh nervously. I do.
She’s waiting patiently for an answer, but I want to do one better. I lean in to kiss her instead.
“It’s a date!” she yells.
“That you, Jasmine?” my mom calls from the kitchen just as I take my first step on the staircase. I was hoping to sneak upstairs. I’m meeting Amari at the movies in a few days and I’m starting to get really nervous.
“Come taste this,” she says, sounding excited.
I drop my phone and bag and head straight to her.
The kitchen smells like a lot of different seasonings, but when she pulls the wooden spoon out of a pot, it all makes sense.
“I made my own pasta sauce,” she says proudly, holding the spoon over her hand for me to taste.
I know this is important to her. Working multiple jobs, she never had the time to cook before, so being able to do this kind of thing makes her feel like she is taking care of her family—taking care of me.
I slurp a little bit off the spoon. “It’s hot!” I yell, sticking out my tongue.
My mom looks like she wants to laugh until she realizes I’m serious. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t think it was that hot.”
“Well, it’s good,” I say, and start to leave the kitchen.
“Mmmhmm.” She sets the spoon on its rest and touches my shoulder. “How are things, Jas? You seem a little distracted lately.”
I pause for a moment, wondering what it would feel like to tell her everything that’s going on—getting closer to Kayla, getting closer to Deanna, and most important, Amari being back in the picture, pushing on the edges of my life, trying to get back in.
Could I tell her I’m thinking about meeting up with Amari?
Maybe she would appreciate my honesty. But more likely, she’d be upset with me for not telling her about Amari the second she contacted me and for even considering meeting up with her, given all the progress I’ve been making.
In some ways, I think this is the closest we’ve ever been, and the last thing I want to do is ruin it.
This would.
“I’m fine,” I say.
She crosses her arms and leans back on the fridge. “You sure?” she asks with a concerned look. I know she wants things to be less complicated than they were before. If there’s anything I want right now, it’s to not give her anything to worry about.
“I’m just tired,” I lie.
She nods her head, but her lips are pressed into a thin line. “All right,” she says.
I take an apple from the bowl on the counter. “I’ll be in my room,” I say.
She goes back to stirring the pot. I don’t know if she believes me, but she’s playing it off well. I grab my stuff and head upstairs when she calls my name.
“Everything will work out just fine, Jasmine,” she says.
I hope she’s right.