Chapter Twenty-Three
London
“I’ll be careful,” I say as Mason sits behind his desk, flipping through some papers. His eyes are bloodshot and have dark circles under them, and he hasn’t looked up once. “I just need to clear my head.”
“Don’t stay too long,” Mason replies in a voice thick with exhaustion. “Katia will go with you.”
I lean over the desk and wait for him to look at me. “Is there anything I can do?”
He continues to flip through the papers, a furrow appearing between his brows.
“Mason?”
Mason glances up, his eyes glazed and unfocused. Then, he blinks, slowly, and pushes his chair back.
I’m sorry, Mason. I’m sorry, I can’t think of anything else to make this better.
I have no idea if either of us will survive long enough for him to forgive me, but I have to believe we will.
I refuse to believe this was all for nothing.
As he draws me to him and wraps his arms around me, the lingering doubt and uncertainty I’d been pushing back over the past few days rise within me.
I don’t want it to end like this. How can I, knowing what he has to face?
Because his chances of beating them are better if he doesn’t have to worry about you and the baby. It’s better this way.
Mason’s body shudders, and I grip him tighter.
Mason’s eyes move over me, and I offer him a small smile. He presses his mouth to my forehead.
I want to stay in his arms and bottle up his scent.
I want to rewind the clock.
I want it so badly that I almost come clean right there.
But the moment ends, and Mason pulls away to sit back down behind his desk. His expression is impassive as he reaches for a stack of papers and lowers his head.
I walk backward, my eyes never leaving his face.
Katia is waiting for me outside the study, and we barely exchange a few words as she leads me out of the manor and across the lawn. I stare at the moonlit path beneath my feet and count my breaths. Once we reach the club, Katia holds her arm up to the scanner and waits.
It glows and beeps. The door opens, and music reaches my ears. I step inside, allowing the familiar smell of alcohol and perfume to wash over me. Katia is on my heels as we move down the hallway.
Once the main floor comes into view, I glance around to see Miss Deveroux, and my heart jumps into my throat. She leans over the counter to pour someone a drink and flashes them a smile.
Her gaze lifts, and our eyes meet.
“Do not wander off.” Katia places a hand on my shoulder.
“It’s not like I have anywhere to go,” I mutter.
“Listen up, Blondie. I don’t have time for this today. We shouldn’t even be here, but we are, so do as I say, or I’ll drag you back,” Katia threatens.
“I thought we already established that you’re not going to do that,” I snap.
“That’s because I’ve never had to. Given the circumstances, I’m sure even Mason would approve.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Don’t give me a reason,” she warns. “I’ve got my orders.”
I scowl and step out of her reach. “Jesus, fine. I’m just going to sit at the bar.”
Katia’s eyes stay on me as I walk over to the bar and slide onto one of the stools. Slowly, I turn my head and glance over at Miss Deveroux, who is talking to a man with silver streaks in his hair. He flashes her a row of pearly white teeth, and she bats her lashes.
Soon enough, a woman in a sequined outfit that leaves little to the imagination leads him away. Miss Deveroux takes a few steps back and rummages through one of the shelves under the bar, then strides over to me with a glass in hand. Then she pours me a drink and slides back over the table.
“It’s sparkling water.” Miss Deveroux doesn’t meet my gaze. “Figured it would be best to keep up appearances.”
I close my fingers around the cool glass and lift it to my lips. “Thanks.”
“I made a few phone calls.” Miss Deveroux reaches for a rag from under the bar and begins to wipe the top. “Are you sure about this?”
I take a few sips of water, wishing it were something stronger. “No.”
Miss Deveroux finally looks at me, and her expression softens. “I’m sorry it’s come to this.”
I take another sip of water. “Me too.”
“London—"
I hold a hand up and swallow. “Don’t say anything, or this will start to feel real. Like I’m giving up, and I… I don’t to think about that yet.”
“Isn’t it better than the alternative?”
I set my drink down. “No. If he knows what I’m trying to do, he might try to stop me. And I don’t want him to.”
The last thing either of us needs is for Mason to be even more distracted.
Knowing Mason, he’ll have me under lock and key while he fights for our survival, and each day will pull us further apart.
“This is better for everyone,” I add with more confidence than I feel. “Even if he doesn’t see it right away.”
Miss Deveroux frowns and doesn’t reply.
“It’s going to work out,” I continue. “We just need to get through the next few months, and after that… we’ll see.”
Another client saunters up to the bar just then, demanding Miss Deveroux’s attention. She walks to the other side with an easy smile already in place. For a while, I sit and watch her as I finish my water.
Then, Katia appears next to me. “Time to go back.”
I slide off the stool and push my hair out of my eyes. “I just need a moment.”
Katia shakes her head. “No.”
Miss Deveroux comes out from around the bar and places her hand on the small of my back. “Why don’t you sit in my office for a bit?”
Katia glances between us, and her eyes narrow into slits. “Whatever the hell this is, it stops right now.”
“She needs a few minutes to herself, so instead of drawing attention, I thought it would be better if she found a quiet place to catch her breath,” Miss Deveroux says. “Unless you want to explain the rumors to Mr. Payne.”
I glance behind her and see several pairs of eyes on us.
Katia places a hand on my arm. She yanks, and I barely have a chance to thank Miss Deveroux before I’m led away. I keep my head down and focus on placing one foot in front of the other until we reach Miss Deveroux’s office.
“I’m right here, so don’t go getting any funny ideas,” Katia hisses from the doorway. She pulls the door shut behind her, and I sink into an armchair. Once my heart is no longer pounding, I walk over to the desk and sit down. The laptop has a handwritten note from Miss Deveroux, and I smile.
I type a few things into the search bar, and a moment later, the screen goes still.
When it starts again, a window pops up, and my hands fly to my mouth when I see my mom and dad on the screen.
“London, what’s wrong? What happened?”
I lower my hands. “I need your help.”
My dad takes off his glasses and peers at the screen. “That woman who helped set this up… who is she? Is she threatening you?”
I shake my head. “No, she’s a friend. She set this up even though she could get in trouble.”
My mom frowns and moves closer to the camera. “What’s going on?”
“I… I’m in trouble,” I say quietly. “I don’t know how much time I have, so I need you both to listen.
I’m pregnant. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to…
go through with it. Mason knows, and he’s supportive, but …
things are getting out of hand. There are too many people to fight now. ”
My parents exchange a quick, confused look and say nothing.
“I can’t go into too many details,” I continue, “but it’s not safe for us—any of us…. Mason is trying to make things better, but he can’t be distracted.”
My mom is the first one to break the silence. “Does he know you’re talking to us now?”
“No, and I’d prefer if he didn’t. I’ve got a plan, but I can’t do it without you.”
“A plan?” My mom’s eyes widen. “What kind of plan?”
“Dad, I need you to get in touch with that friend of yours who lives abroad. You remember the one you told me about?”
My dad places his arm around my mom, and his expression turns solemn. “Yes.”
“Don’t give away too much,” I say, “Just make sure he’s willing to help us. And don’t reach out to me. I’ll find a way to contact you when I’m ready.”
“Understood.”
My mom shrugs his arm off and stands up. “Now wait just a minute. You can’t just drop news like this on us and expect us to just go along with it.”
“Pat—”
My mother turns to my dad, and her eyes narrow. “I know you feel guilty because of the role you played in all of this, but we’re being asked to just go along with a plan we know nothing about? I’m going to need a little more than that.”
“I know.” Tears spill out of my eyes now, and my chest is heaving. “I’m sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought I could keep it from exploding, but I couldn’t. Please, Mom. I can’t raise this baby alone.”
My mom turns back to me, and her features soften. “Sweetheart, of course we’re not going to let you do this alone, but just a few weeks ago, you told us this was what you wanted. This life and that man, and now, after changing your entire life, you’re just going to do what, exactly?”
“I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I can’t explain any of this right now. I don’t know who might intercept this, and I’ve already said too much.”
For the first time, I wonder if I’m going to have to do this on my own, and panic and fear twist my gut.
I don’t know the first thing about having a baby, much less how to raise one.
If my parents don’t go along with this, I don’t know what I’ll do.
You’ll figure it out. For the baby’s sake, you have to keep it together. Do not fall apart now.
My father clears his throat. “We’re with you, kiddo. Every step of the way. The baby, too. Whatever you need.”
Relief floods my senses. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I don’t understand any of this.” My mom shakes her head. “But he’s right. You’re not going to do this alone.”
I’m crying again and touching the screen.
There’s a loud noise outside the door, and fear grips my heart. “I have to go. Be careful. I love you both.”
I snap the laptop shut and stand up.
I throw myself onto the couch and drape an arm over my head. Then, I squeeze my eyes shut. The door opens, and I pry one eye open, offering Katia a quick look.
“What’s going on?”
Katia glances around, one hand on her knife. “I thought I heard voices.”