Chapter 11
Her scent was imprinted on Axel’s nostrils.
It filled his home, his truck, everything.
He’d woken before dawn, stretched out on the loft couch, and simply stared up at the vaulted ceiling, listening to the quiet sounds of the house.
Rebecca’s bunnies were early risers, too.
He heard them shuffling around downstairs.
Heard the telltale sign of them eating hay.
His senses were overly attuned to their movements, the hunter in him fully focused.
And yet, today he didn’t feel the incessant itch to shift and take off into the woods.
It was something of a morning ritual for him. These days, he spent more time in wolf form than human form. And when he was in human form, he had to stay busy with his hands. Woodworking. Gardening. Keeping up the house. If he didn’t, his mind played tricks on him.
He couldn’t think of a single turned wolf who’d lasted as long as he had.
Hell, it had been his job once, among other things, to put down rabid wolves for Magnus.
It was the only way to keep the order. A rabid wolf threatened the existence of wolf kind, and the Supernatural Council had laws in place for a reason, laws around keeping the existence of supernatural creatures secret from the rest of the world.
He wondered if Magnus would send another, like him. A replacement enforcer. To track him down and put him down once the alpha located him.
That’s why he thought those wolves had come looking the other day. To end him.
He took a deep, steadying breath, letting her scent of chamomile and honey settle deep in his chest. Holding it in. Afraid to let it go. His mind, his thoughts, were clearer than they had been in…
He blinked.
He couldn’t remember.
There was something about her scent, her presence, that quieted him. That eased the tension always present in his muscles. His hands weren’t clenched. His shoulders weren’t tight.
He was smiling before he realized it. Before he understood that this feeling of contentment was foreign. Before he realized it was something he could get addicted to.
If having her around did that…
A selfish thought crept in. The same one that had been lurking for weeks. The same one that had driven him to insist she stay with him while Blackthorn was around.
The kind of desire to possess that was dangerous.
A need to keep her close to him for as long as possible.
Until she broke her curse.
Until she had no need of him anymore.
Downstairs, he heard the shower turn on. She was up and…
“Feckin’ hell.” He shot up to standing. Just allowing himself to think about what that meant, that she was shedding her clothes and stepping into his shower.
He could picture the tiled space with her naked body.
Imagine her tits. He wondered what color her nipples were. A soft, dusty pink? Slightly darker?
All the blood in his body dropped south and his dick immediately swelled.
“Fuck me.” He palmed it over his sweatpants.
When was the last time he’d gotten hard?
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he turned and walked to the edge of the loft, then turned and paced to the other side. It wasn’t the same caged feeling he usually felt. This was madness of a different kind. It was exhilarating. But also…fucking terrifying.
Because it meant only one thing.
It meant he wanted her. And the only reason he’d want someone at this age, when he was already so far gone…
No. It wasn’t possible. She was a witch.
And yet…
He wasn’t a born wolf. The same rules didn’t apply to him. His mate didn’t need to be another born wolf. It could have been…anyone.
Everything came into focus, until the clarity was crystal fucking clear.
His pacing stopped but his breaths grew ragged until his chest was heaving. First came the wonder. The disbelief. Because, it wasn’t possible, was it?
But…there was no other explanation.
Then came the acceptance. Because somehow he just…knew. All the ways he’d reacted to her. His protective and possessive feelings.
Then came the absolute joy. Because…fuck. A mate? For him? After centuries of loneliness?
He’d always wondered if other wolves were bullshitting when they said you just knew. There was no other way to explain it. Just a deep, innate knowing.
And he knew.
Knew exactly what she was to him.
His body sprang into action as he thundered down the stairs. Desperate with the knowledge. Desperate to share it with her. To claim her. To solidify the bond between them. To fuck her and knot her and bite her and leave his claiming mark for all to see.
He was halfway down the stairs when common sense suppressed his wolf instincts.
His steps faltered and he froze, hand clenching the banister. The sounds of her shower continued.
He was a feckin’ eejit.
What exactly did he expect to happen when he burst into the bathroom? Did he expect her to welcome him with open arms? Accept the bond without question? Spread her legs for him?
“God damn it,” he hissed, reaching for his hair, fisting the strands with frustration.
It went against every screaming instinct, all of which were amplified with the revelation of who she was. What she was to him.
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? She wasn’t a wolf. Which meant she wouldn’t feel the same drive.
She was a witch with a curse. Someone who had lost most of her magic—of herself. A woman who’d just freed herself from an unhealthy relationship.
And she was right here under his roof. Under his protection. His discovery was the last thing she needed. He was the last thing she needed.
Why would she accept a scarred, half mad wolf close to breaking? How many years did he have left, anyway? In no universe would it be fair to tie her to him, only to leave her when his mind finally broke.
His chest squeezed. A new fear dousing him in ice. Could he harm her?
No, surely not. She was his mate. She calmed him—just her mere presence.
If anything, he was safer to be around than he’d ever been. Which meant, if he kept her around, perhaps he could exist peacefully for just a little longer.
Until she broke her curse.
Then she would leave. Leave him. Move on with her life. Be happy, healthy, whole.
There wouldn’t be a place for him in it. Not when his existence and ultimately his deterioration would simply leave her heartbroken. He couldn’t do that to her.
Besides, there was one other matter. Something he knew with certainty: if he told her and she rejected him, the final tethers holding his sanity in check would break. There would be no coming back from that madness. Not when he was already walking a tightrope.
Which meant, she couldn’t know.
An hour later, he was behind the wheel, Rebecca’s calming scent surrounding him. Despite the inner battle playing out inside him, he relished her closeness. In the way her existence, her proximity, put him at ease.
“Make sure you text me if there are any problems,” she was saying.
“There won’t be any problems,” he said, forcing himself to focus.
“They’re bunnies. There’s always problems.”
“Rebecca,” he growled. “I’m a competent male. I can handle a couple of appetizers.”
“Oh my, God. They are not for eating, Axel.” He pressed his lips together to keep them from twitching. “Not as appetizers. Not as little snacks. Not as entrees. Not at all.”
“Yes. Yes. So you said.”
“Go catch a wild rabbit in the woods if you must.”
He lifted his brows.
“But definitely don’t tell me about it. I don’t need to know about your…harming of the wildlife.”
“I’m a wolf. It’s nature.”
She sighed.
After her shower, she’d appeared dressed in a long flowing tartan skirt that skimmed her ankles.
It was torture, how much he liked the fabric on her, the way it reminded him of his homeland in Scotland.
She’d paired it with dark brown boots that came just above her ankles, and a beige sweater that tucked in and draped off one shoulder.
Her hair was lightly curled and secured with a bow at the base of her neck.
He’d positioned himself behind the island so she wouldn’t see his raging hard on.
It’s like a switch had flipped in his brain.
Yes, he’d found her incredibly attractive. Yes, he had inexplicably gravitated towards her for weeks. But now that he knew what she was, it’s like the realization had rearranged every atom in his body.
And his body?
It wanted one thing.
To be balls deep in this woman, rutting her with her hair in his fist while she made little moaning noises like the one from last night when she’d eaten the dinner he’d prepared for her.
Which reminded him. He needed to put together a list of foods.
Meals he could cook her. Things she would like.
He couldn’t wait to see her reaction to every single one.
The sounds she’d make. Maybe he could get more of them.
“Axel?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you even hear me?”
“You said you pinned the list to the refrigerator.”
“Right. Yes.”
The list. The one she’d handed to him to look over earlier. An entire fucking schedule oriented around her god damn little morsels of food. Things like, 10:30 am: puzzle activity, 12:00 pm: snack before lights out, 12:30pm - 5:00pm: nap time, et cetera.
“Obviously I can’t follow it every day since I’m working. But I do my best to pop home in between classes when there’s time. They thrive on structure, you know. The last thing we need is a grumpy bunny going into stasis because we were an hour late with their dinner.”
“Wouldn’t want that.”
“You don’t even know what stasis is.”
“Thank fuck for that.”
“I’ll have to train you on what to do if—”
“No training, Rebecca. If they get sick, you’ll be there to see them through.”
He was not, under any circumstances, nursing a fucking rabbit.
“Right. Yeah.” She was fidgeting with her fingers and her scent had changed.
He placed his free hand over hers and she froze. When he next spoke, his voice was low and sincere. “I’ll take care of them. I promise.”
She seemed to deflate. “Thank you. Really.”
“In exchange, you need to promise me you will not go anywhere alone, under any circumstances. Not your office. Not the bathroom. Nothing.”
“You want me to hold my pee all day?” They were already pulling into the campus parking lot. The drive was over already?
“Don’t women use the buddy system or something?”
“God, Axel. This isn’t freaking high school. I’m going to have to use the restroom.”
“Right. Well. Just text me when you do. And then that you’re okay afterward.”
A laugh burst from her chest. He didn’t find it funny at all. Especially since he couldn’t be in two places at once. He couldn’t take care of her bunnies and shadow her all day.
Everything in him was screaming in protest as they pulled into the fire lane near the campus quad.
“I’ll be fine, Axel. I promise. I don’t think Ambrose would try anything this soon, out in the open.”
Maybe he could find a way to get another protection artifact. One meant for a person. Then he could rest easier knowing Ambrose Blackthorn wasn’t hiding around the corner waiting to pounce.
Speaking of. “I’ll walk you to your class.”
“What? No.”
“Yes. It’s not up for discussion.” He shut off the ignition.
“You can’t park here.”
“It will be fine.”
“You’ll get a ticket.”
“Then I’ll pay the fucking ticket, Becca. Let’s go.” Gods. She calmed him. But she also sent his emotions into overdrive. In a different way. Not like when his skin itched and he needed to shift, to move, to run, to embrace the wildness.
He was already climbing out, rounding the hood of the truck and reaching for her door. She sighed as she climbed down. He reached out to take her elbow before thinking better of it. Another instinct. Clenching his jaw, he pulled his hand back.
If he didn’t get ahold of himself, she’d grow suspicious.
“Which way?” he said.
“There.” She pointed to a building across the quad.
“Excuse me, but you can’t park there.” A middle aged man frowned at him.
“Sorry,” Rebecca called. “He’ll be moving it shortly.”
Ignoring the man, wishing she would too, he put his palm at the base of her spine and pushed her in the direction she indicated. Then, as they made their way, he looked at every shadow, around every corner, just to make sure Blackthorn wasn’t lurking. Because no one touched his mate.
No one.