Chapter 20
My mind was spinning with bliss as I came down from my third orgasm, begging for a break. Axel had used his fingers for the last two, alternating between shallow caresses and deep thrusts while he worked my clit. I couldn’t think. Barely remembered my name.
It was Rebecca, wasn’t it?
Or was it sweetheart, because that’s what he’d been calling me repeatedly. Actually, I think I liked sweetheart better. The endearment felt special, especially after what Axel had entrusted me with. His past. His trauma. His story.
The late afternoon sunlight streamed in through the cabin’s window, making this moment feel all the more magical.
Axel rose up onto his knees, then grinned, looking a little drunk.
That he could look like that after going down on me for the better part of an hour was a wonder.
I’d always been self conscious about this particular act.
Worried about if I needed a shower, or wouldn’t taste good.
But it was Ambrose who had destroyed my confidence on the matter.
When he’d visited the bathroom after going down on me to swish with mouthwash, like he couldn’t wait to get the taste of me out of his mouth.
There’d been no chance of enjoying it after that.
And every time he went down on me following that night, I simply pretended to enjoy it before we got on to sex.
Which, considering all things, had clearly been lackluster if a single orgasm from Axel was a thousand times better than the ones I’d had with Ambrose Blackthorn.
“I think it’s time to put my mouth to a different use,” Axel teased, bending to place wet kisses along my stomach. “Been wanting to suck on these tits.”
I gasped, my body overly sensitive as he latched on to a nipple.
His hand came up to knead my other. The weight of him settled between my thighs and I sighed, loving the feel of him.
He’d transformed in the past hour. From vulnerable and heartbroken to powerful and commanding.
Back to the strong male I knew him to be.
But it was the strongest males who could still show vulnerabilities.
He’d felt comfortable enough to do that. With me.
And that meant something.
His teeth were maddening as he nipped, tugging at my nipple, making me arch into him. “You’ve been such a good girl, coming for me.”
He lifted his head and fused his lips to mine. It was an explosion of tastes, none of them bad. The tang of my arousal, mixed with his unique flavor. I loved it—instantly. The reminder of where he’d been. The evidence that he’d obviously loved it. Which seemed impossible.
My belly tightened with the knowledge.
I didn’t think it was possible. After three, how the hell could I feel that familiar ache returning? That hungry need for another.
Axel pulled back, releasing my kiss swollen lips and studied me. Then he made a show of inhaling. “There it is. Ready for me again, sweetheart?”
I groaned. “How? How are you doing this to me?”
He chuckled.
When his lips found mine again, his fingers slipped between my thighs.
He shifted his weight, then began working me, swirling my arousal around before slipping inside me.
First one finger, then two. “The only downside to using my tongue,” he said, pulling back.
“And I mean the only downside. Is that I can’t get a front row seat to watch the expressions you make as you come. But this way…”
He thrust in deep, hitting the perfect spot. I moaned, bucking my hips up. Sensation exploded like fireworks, starting at the base of my spine and zinging upwards.
“This way, I get to watch up close how beautiful you look when you come apart on my hand.”
“Yes,” I breathed, rocking my hips against his hand.
“Fuck my fingers while I watch. You can tell me how they compare to yours.”
“Better—so much better.”
“Yeah?” His smirk was smug. “How so?”
“Thicker. Longer. You can hit—yes, right there. Don’t stop.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
The obscene sound of his fingers and my wetness should have made me self conscious. But I was beyond that. Desperate and on edge.
His palm pressed into my clit as he thrust in and out, scissoring his fingers. Everything in me tightened. Pressure built. My head pressed back into the pillow, eyes falling closed.
“Eyes on me, sweetheart. Want to see you.”
My cheeks flamed with heat but I forced my eyes open. Forced myself to be vulnerable for him. I’d never come this way, eyes locked on another person. Had always hidden away behind the backs of my eyelids.
Staring into his gaze, seeing the fierce expression of concentration on his face. The way my pleasure was his only concern—
I detonated, coming apart with a cry as I arched off the bed. He caught my mouth, swallowing up the rest of the sound, growling and kissing me hungrily. His fingers slowed as I came down, movements turning to caresses.
The feel of his tongue against mine, movements languid and unhurried, paired with the release of tension in my muscles, had me sinking more deeply into the pillows.
When he pulled back to look at me, he wore a mischievous expression. “Now that my mouth has had a little break—”
“What?!” I balked as he scooted down my body then promptly buried his face in my pussy. Again. I jerked, crying out. “Axel—I can’t!”
He half growled, half chuckled. Every touch of his tongue sent sparks shooting through my core. The aftershocks of my orgasm hadn’t faded, and I felt myself clenching anew. Only this time, I was empty, completely wrung out.
I groaned. “I can’t—not another.”
“You’re turning down an orgasm? What the fuck reality is this?” he grumbled in complaint before continuing his slow, gentle strokes against my sex.
“I’m… I need… Take pity on me, please.” My stomach chose that moment to make the most embarrassing growl. I pressed a hand over it, mortified by the buzz killing moment.
Because we’d never eaten lunch. And the clock showed it was nearing 4:30pm.
Axel’s expression fell as he immediately darted up. He looked down at my stomach. Then—
“Fuck. I forgot to feed you.”
“It’s all right.”
“I suppose a break might be good. But I still have a few more hours left to spend with your perfect pussy. I’m not letting you off the hook.”
A laugh burst from my chest. Never. I’d never had a man like this.
“What about you?” I bit my lower lip. “We haven’t gotten to play with you yet.”
I suddenly felt selfish. He’d bared his heart to me. Surely relief would help, if he allowed me to please him. And I very, very much wanted to.
“This was about you, sweetheart, not me.”
“But—”
“Not today, Rebecca.” The way he said it, serious but not unkind, made me drop it. For now.
“All right. How about some dinner then? I want to cook, since you’ve done nothing but cook since I arrived.”
He studied me, thoughtful. “I can allow it. So long as I get your pussy for dessert later.”
My heart surged, taking off at a gallop. The way he talked. No shame. Just blunt openness. I wasn’t used to it.
“All right.” The words were a little shy. He was still clothed, which left me feeling a bit exposed. “But maybe you could ditch the shirt next time?”
“I can do that. Come.” He rose from the bed, holding out his hand. After I stood, he went over to the chest of drawers, removing one of his flannel shirts, neatly folded. “You’ll be comfortable in this.”
I bit my lip, watching him. It was totally a caveman thing—him wanting me in his clothes. I slipped the shirt on, doing up a few of the buttons. It was delightfully soft against my sensitive skin. It was also like ten sizes too big, ending at the middle of my thighs.
Axel’s eyes heated as he took in the sight of me. When he licked his lips, I couldn’t help but watch. Wanting to kiss him again.
But, biology called.
I fished out a clean pair of undies and went into the bathroom to get cleaned up.
Axel was in the great room, tending to my bunnies when I emerged. “Gave them their dinner a little early, so you won’t have to fuss with it.”
“Thank you.”
“What would you like to cook?”
“Not sure what you have, actually.”
“There’s fish and a few other meats in the freezer. Whatever’s in the pantry. Plus the greenhouse.”
“Let me have a look around.” I was fairly familiar with what he kept on hand. Still, I had a look, formulating a plan. “I think I’ll need a few things from the greenhouse.”
“I’ll escort you.” He glanced down at my bare legs and smirked.
“I should probably put on some pants for that.”
He grunted, clearly not on board with the idea. Still, he waited for me. A few minutes later, I emerged in a pair of fleece-lined leggings. He already had a jacket in hand, helping me into it before we headed out back.
He reached for my hand, twining our fingers together. A dim roaring filled my ears as my heart took off at a gallop. The gesture was so casual, but intimate. It made me feel like I was sixteen again, going on a first date with a boy I liked.
The path to the greenhouse was different by day.
It was well maintained, outlined with river rocks, and wound through the forest. Everything about Axel’s property was enchanting.
I’d visited the greenhouse a few times since Axel had first shown me.
Mostly to pick out things for the bunnies.
But I never grew tired of taking this path.
“How come you didn’t put it right next to the house?” I found myself asking.
“The ground was better here, and there was a natural opening in the trees. Plus, I like the walk.”
I hummed, thoughtful. He handed me a basket as we entered. “What are you making?”
“It’s a surprise.”
He studied me a moment. “All right. Gather what you need. I’ll see to a few things while you’re at it.”
I watched him for a moment as he set about tending to his plants. It was a wonder watching him work. The way he focused on things. Not thirty minutes ago, he’d been focused just like that on me. And it was truly something. Being the center of that focus.
I wore a soft smile as I went to collect what I’d need. Baby tomatoes, green zucchini, basil, and tarragon. Earlier, I’d found parmesan, garlic, and red onions in the kitchen. I’d also seen a few bags of frozen peas in the freezer. Along with the trout I planned to make.
I stopped at his prized lemon tree, gazing at it for several moments before selecting a ripe lemon.
With everything in my basket, I made my way back to the door.
“Got what you needed?” He looked up from the pots he was filling with dirt.
“Yep.”
“I’ve got a few more things to do here while you cook. How about we have dinner out on the back deck? I know it’s a little cool, but with a fire, it should be nice.”
“That sounds lovely.” We hadn’t yet spent time out back and I was eager for it.
“All right. I’ll finish up here and get that set up while you cook?”
“Perfect.”
Before departing, I hesitated. Part of me wanted to walk over and give him a kiss. We’d only be separated for a few minutes. It was a ridiculous thought. In the end, I gave him an awkward smile and returned to the cabin, getting started on dinner.
The bunnies were excited to roam around while I cooked. I helped myself to Axel’s wine collection, picking out a crisp white that would pair well with the fish. And then, because fuck it, I opened the bottle to enjoy some while I cooked.
And thank God I did, because while the fish was baking, I ventured to the back door, wineglass in hand, to check on Axel.
The sight I stumbled upon made me thirsty.
He had shed his shirt and was busy near the shed, chopping wood for the fire.
Like a fucking lumber jack. Because of course he would be.
His corded muscles bunched as he worked. With each log he set on the stump and split, lifting the axe before bringing it down. Showing off a perfect set of abs. But that wasn’t what stole my focus. It was the beautiful Celtic tattoos woven over his shoulder, chest, and down his back.
Almost as if he could sense me, he looked up. I bit my lip and lifted my wine glass, saluting his efforts before taking a sip. He huffed and shook his head before resuming his chopping.
God, he was sexy.
I wiped the corner of my mouth, just to make sure I wasn’t drooling. Then I promptly returned to the kitchen. Otherwise my food would burn because I couldn’t stop staring.
It gave me time to think over our conversation. He’d distracted me with orgasms. But now I had time to really consider what he’d told me. About the madness. About how I made him better. About how he didn’t want me tying myself to him when I had my own life to live.
It was bullshit. All of it. Utter bullshit.
If the man was capable of expert level orgasms, cooking the best food on the planet, crafting and maintaining the most beautiful home, and treating my bunnies like adopted pets? Why the hell wouldn’t I want to stick around? What more did he think I was missing out on?
Sure, I wasn’t ready to jump into a long term relationship. Not after Ambrose had scarred me. Not when I had an uncertain future and a curse to break.
But that didn’t mean this thing between us wasn’t worth exploring. It sure as hell didn’t mean I was going to let him decide for me.
He’d already made that choice once—hiding the cave because he wanted me close. Now he was trying to push me away because he thought he knew what was best for me. That being with him was a liability.
I took another sip of wine, a plan forming.
As soon as he was ready, we’d go back to that cave. Together. I’d help him face his demons while I hunted for mine. And afterward? Well… We’d figure it out. One day at a time, just like I’d told him.
But first—I was going to feed this infuriating, self-sacrificing wolf the best damn dinner he’d ever tasted.