Chapter 25 #2
His throat bobbed. “Becca—”
“No. I told you.” Her voice was sharp. “I told you on Wednesday we’d revisit this conversation.”
He started to pull back but she tightened her legs around him, trapping him in place.
“You don’t get to run away, Axel.”
“My mind is made up.”
She made an incredulous sound and shoved at his chest, unwrapping her legs. He let her push him back until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. She scrambled up onto her knees, facing him. God, she looked fierce. A warrior ready to do battle.
“You said you’d lose control if I touched you. That we’d cross a line. That you’d claim me. Where I’m sitting, claiming sounds pretty fucking fantastic.”
His heart, already racing, strained against his rib cage.
“For some reason,” she continued, “you put a negative connotation on the word. So tell me. Because I’m not asking anymore—I’m demanding. Tell me why sex is the line, and why you won’t let us go there.”
“I can’t—“
“Yes, you can.” She leaned forward, her eyes on fire. “You want me. I want you. That’s all that matters.”
His jaw clenched. “You don’t understand—“
“Then make me understand!” she exploded. “Make me understand why you won’t have sex with me—”
“Because you’re my mate!” he cried, the words raw and desperate as he shot to his feet, keeping his back to her. Every muscle in his body was tight and restless.
The room went silent except for the sound of Rebecca’s breaths, short and uneven.
He finally turned to face her. She stared at him, her lips parted in disbelief. “What did you just say?”
“You’re my mate,” he repeated, quieter this time but no less intense. “That’s why I can’t let you touch me. Why my control is hanging by a thread.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m...” She blinked. “I’m your mate?”
“Aye.”
“Then why is any of this a problem?” She gestured between them.
He looked at her—kneeling on his bed in her rumpled skirt and bra, flushed and furious and so bloody beautiful it made his chest ache. Why wasn’t she balking? Where was the denial? The disbelief?
The fact that she was taking this in stride…it irked him. Because she didn’t understand the severity of it. Why it was such a catastrophe.
“The problem,” he gritted out, “is that if I claim you—fully consummate this bond—I won’t just fuck you, Rebecca.
I’ll knot you. I’ll bite you—give you my claiming mark.
” He forced himself to hold her gaze, watching the way her pupils blew wide at his words.
Because she liked the sound of them. And fuck, that made him shudder with need.
“But most importantly, the mate bond for werewolves—for turned wolves like me—it’s different than for born shifters.” He had to make her understand this part. Had to make sure she knew exactly what she’d be giving up. “When I claim you, I become your dominant. Your…alpha.”
Her brow furrowed. “Like in a pack?”
“Similar. I’d have power over you, Rebecca.
The ability to compel you. If I gave you a command, put enough power behind it, you would be forced to obey.
It’s an evolutionary thing. From a time when males had to protect their females from the many dangers of the world.
” He watched her expression. Watched as the realization sank in.
“I could make you do anything I wanted. You wouldn’t have a choice. You would blindly obey.”
The color drained from her face.
“To mate me is to give me your complete and utter trust in ways that go beyond the physical. Putting yourself completely at my mercy.” His voice cracked. “And I can’t promise I won’t abuse it. Especially not when my madness takes hold.”
Silence stretched between them. He watched her process it, saw the moment true understanding hit.
“That’s…” She licked her kiss-swollen lips. “That’s a lot.”
“Aye.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “And there’s no way to break it? The bond? Once it’s done?”
“Death is the only thing that breaks a mate bond.”
“Oh.” A frown formed lines between her brow. Then a look of determination stole over her features. “You said keeping me around keeps the madness at bay.”
“It does. But I cannot promise that will last forever.”
“It seems to be working well so far.” Her eyes brightened and she sucked in a breath. “What if the mate bond keeps you from going feral?”
He stopped. Blinked. “What?”
“What if that’s why I calm you down?” The words came faster now, urgent. “What if the bond—the fact that I’m your mate—is actually healing you? That’s why me being around keeps the madness away.”
For a moment, he couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. Because the thought—the possibility—
No.
“That’s not how this works.” He shook his head. “This isn’t a fairytale, Rebecca. Mates don’t cure madness.”
“But you don’t know that for sure—“
“It isn’t a risk I’m willing to take. Not with you.”
She flinched at his tone.
“I’m sorry,” he said, softer now. “But I won’t let you chain yourself to me based on a fantasy.”
“So what, then?” Her voice had gone quiet. “You get to be the one to decide? Because I’m already all in, Axel. If you didn’t want me chaining myself to you, you shouldn’t have made it so easy for me to fall in love with you.”
His heart practically burst in his chest.
“Yes, you heard me correctly. I love you, Axel. So fuck you and your stupid choice.”