Chapter 52 #2
My heart skips a beat, and I almost trip. Still, I don’t drop it. “You’re friends with–” I pause, realizing I was about to say Morgana, “Arianna.”
He huffs, “Only because she refuses to respect command structure. I need to preserve that structure to protect our family.”
His reasoning makes zero sense to me. “Why can’t you protect them and be their friend at the same time?”
“Friendship would distract me from their safety,” he answers simply.
Seeing my opening, I take a step closer until our bodies are almost touching. “Do I distract you?”
Instantly, Sin grabs my arm and twists it behind my back. He shakes it a few times until I drop the dagger that I was trying to pull on him. Once the blade hits the ground, he presses his body flush against mine.
“You’re my favorite distraction,” he purrs, before licking my neck.
A small whimper escapes my lips, and he smirks before releasing me and picking up my dagger.
“Alright, kitten, let’s start with a warm-up. No magic, draw my blood.” He holds out the blade to me.
“You might want to use a blade, too. I’m immortal now, so I won’t be easy to beat. In fact, you might want to get a first aid kit,” I tease.
Sin only crosses his arms, looking bored.
Trying to catch him off guard, I rush him, only for my back to hit the ground with a small thud. Sin has my hands pinned to my sides, and my legs are caught under his.
“You might have a chance if you let me fix our bond. But not like this. I can feel how tired you are, kitten. I know it’s hurting you.” His voice is a low murmur, all hints of teasing gone.
More guilt floods me. I haven’t been doing enough to shield him from the side effects.
“Every time I bring up fixing your soul, you’re hit with guilt, sadness, hurt, and loneliness. Why?” His jaw is clenched, and his worried eyes search mine, desperate for answers.
My stomach does a flip. I know he could easily jump into my mind and get the answer for himself, especially after he threatened to cross any line to save me. And yet even now, he’s holding back.
“I’m asking you to talk to me, kitten. Trust that I’ll listen,” he pleads.
I purse my lips and think about it – like really think about it. To some extent, I understand where he’s coming from. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn’t hesitate to help. But no matter how many times I mentally go through the argument, it all comes down to the same problem.
You don’t just go sacrificing your soul for someone you like.
Sin waits for my answer, but I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth. I can’t break his soul, only to feel his emotions every day, and be constantly reminded that I made him lie. I can’t watch him die beside me, knowing I could have saved him.
Hurt flashes in his eyes when he realizes I’m not going to let him in.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, hating myself for constantly hurting him.
I brace myself, waiting for him to start putting walls between us. Instead, he gets that familiar look of steely determination.
“I’ll fight you for it,” he challenges, as he climbs off me and helps me stand.
“Fight me for what?” I clarify.
I am not gambling with his soul.
He looks at me like he’s trying to peer inside my soul again. “No, not that. I want the truth. If I win, I want to know exactly what’s stopping you.”
Even as a bolt of fear slices through me, I don’t immediately reject the idea. I’ve beaten Sin before, and there are things I want, too. “And if I win, what will you give me?”
Sin looks at me like I’m missing the obvious. “Anything. I’m yours, kitten. You can already ask me for anything.”
My heart stutters, and I take a shaky inhale before deciding. “Friendship. I want you to try and make friends.”
When I’m gone, I need him to be okay. Having friends will help with that.
His lip twitches, finally breaking his focus. “You could have asked for diamonds, a puppy, and unlimited orgasms, but you’re going with my social life?”
Smirking, I figure I may as well start trying to distract him now. “I can already give myself all of the above.”
His eyes flash, and his tattoos pulse with red light. “Anything goes, kitten. Do your worst.”
In less than a blink, he apparates behind me, and his hand wraps around my neck. “And I’d really like to see you giving yourself unlimited orgasms,” he whispers, before throwing me to the ground.
He’s toying with me, letting me stand instead of immediately pinning me. When I start circling him, he holds out his arms, making himself a bigger target. “While I love putting my hands on you… You do remember you have magic, right?”
I hesitate before reminding myself that Sin has always been able to dissolve the volatile purple energy.
It’s totally safe.
The key to lying to yourself is to really sell it.
Taking a measured breath, I tug on the slightest hints of both my powers. The answering crackle courses through me, and I grit my teeth at the burn.
Pain is fine. I just need to stay in control.
Sin arches a brow, and I let loose just a smidge of the energy, the same way I did in the Underworld last night. There’s a flash of red, and the purple energy disappears before it ever makes contact with him.
I exhale, relieved.
A second slight flash of red light is the only warning I get before something pinches at my neck. My breath catches. It feels like he just nipped at the sensitive skin.
“Focus, kitten,” he purrs. “Try again.”
Narrowing my eyes, I’m once again reminded that he could’ve pinned me twenty times already. So, unless I want to spill my deepest fears, I need to move faster.
I start throwing more bursts of power at him, focusing on keeping them small enough that the volatile energy won’t have a chance to try and consume me. Every snap of energy sizzles my insides, but I keep going.
Sin blocks each of them easily, and after a few moments, he blinks out of sight, only to reappear in front of me. His foot sweeps out, tripping me.
I fall back with a thud, my frustration mounting.
If I hadn’t been so focused on controlling my power, I could have easily blocked his attack.
This isn’t working.
“Holding back during training is how you get killed during battle,” he says in his commanding tone.
I scoff at the double standard. “Then why aren’t you trying to hurt me?”
Did I just deflect by prodding an all-powerful creature into using their powers on me?
Yes.
It’s another stupid move on my behalf. But now that the words are out, I can’t help but latch onto them.
I mean, once you get past the suicidal undertones, they kind of make sense.
Sin looks at me like I’ve lost my mind as he extends a hand to help me up. “The energy you’re throwing my way isn’t even close to being strong enough to take out my power.” He says it gently, like he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
I ignore his hand, brushing the dirt off my legs as I stand. Even though I’m terrified of losing control, he has a point. Right now, we don’t know if he’s dissipating my power because I’m holding back, or because he’s actually stronger than me.
But the thought of unleashing more power and directing it at Sin makes my stomach twist.
“I need you to attack me with your power, not just lust. Try to hurt me.” I try to infuse the words with confidence I don’t feel.
If I’m going to get past my fear of the volatile energy, then I need a damn good reason to use it.
“You’re joking,” he deadpans, unimpressed.
I lift my chin. “No, I’m not. You want me to stop holding back? Then I need you to do the same.”
His controlled expression wavers. “I’m not sure if I can do that. I – I don’t think I can hurt you.”
I swallow, but my resolve hardens. “You’re constantly worried that something is going to happen to me, that I’m going to get hurt. Because you think Leon can get to me.”
Sin nods, and I continue, “I’m afraid too. But I’m tired of living in fear. I want to fight back. So, I’m going to need you to try.”
His brow furrows, clearly conflicted now that I’m throwing his own words back at him. “You really think you can take me?”
I give him a small smile. “I don’t know. But before we fight Leon, we’d better find out.”
He swallows, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, kitten. I’ll try.”