Chapter 59
Vivian’s Point of View
Rule fifty-nine: Make sure to leave your smut where he can find it.
The images fade, and my eyes flutter open.
Not images – Sin’s memories.
My eyes find his, the same way they always do when we’re together. I have to say something – anything, but my voice gets caught in my throat.
This entire time.
He’s wanted me, waited for me, this entire time.
I’m stunned speechless. Every time I felt him through the mate bond, he would send the warm, comforting feeling.
Have I really been so starved for that emotion that I couldn’t recognize the feeling of being loved?
The answer is painfully obvious. Of course I have.
Sin’s jaw is clenched tight as he takes in every microscopic change in my expression. His shoulders are hunched, like he’s anxiously waiting for me to be angry with him.
If I had sound mental health and a good childhood, I might be upset that he stalked me for years, invaded my privacy, and then neglected to mention it.
A smile breaks across my face instead. My fear of abandonment falls away, and it feels like shedding a suffocating skin.
Sin has seen me at my worst and admired me for it. I don’t need to worry that he’ll see my broken pieces and then finally change his mind. He loves me for my darkness, not despite it.
“You love me,” I whisper, needing to say it.
He shakes his head, gently cupping the back of my neck. “I don’t just love you. This feeling between us is beyond love. It’s fucking deadly because there is no universe for me if your soul is gone. You are my reason for existing. You are everything to me.”
He pulls back, sinking to his knees before me.
His hands settle on my thighs as he stares up at me in utter reverence.
“I have been alive for thousands of years, never daring to hope that I would find you. I know I don’t deserve you.
But I cannot breathe, cannot fucking exist without you by my side.
I need you. So, please. Please accept a piece of my soul. It’s already yours.”
A tear slips down my cheek, and my chest squeezes. Sin and I are one and the same. We both never thought we were deserving of love, and yet somehow, our souls found each other – our other half. And for the first time, I believe him. There is no existence without each other.
His gaze is still pleading as he waits for my answer, and I slip off the bed, lifting onto my knees so that our eyes are level.
“I need you, too. I’m yours.” Something desperate and hopeful ghosts across his face, and I kiss him softly before continuing, “I love you, Sin. You’re mine. Completely and irrevocably, you are mine.”
His eyes widen a fraction, and then his mouth crushes against mine.
“Yours. I am fucking yours, kitten,” he chokes out the words against my lips, and I tug on his hair, as we fall into another desperate kiss.
I fumble with his clothes, desperate to feel him, and Sin lets out a low growl. He cups my ass, lifting me easily, and my back hits the wall.
I’m still trying to get his shirt open when he tears my dress down the middle with a frustrated snarl. Still, the layers of fabric bunch between us, and he mutters “Fuck it,” before there’s a faint pulse of red.
In the next instant, our clothes are gone, and his naked body presses against mine.
Sin claims my mouth again, and I’m already soaked when I feel him slide against my center. I moan, reaching between us to guide him inside me, but his hand closes around my throat, just enough to stop me.
My breath catches, and my eyes widen as the world narrows only to him.
His calloused thumb strokes over the column of my neck, and he looks at me as though I’m what he’s been hunting for lifetimes, and he’s finally caught me.
“Oh no, you don’t,” he purrs.
The pressure on my throat lessens, and a frustrated whimper escapes me. Whatever we’ve been building to, it feels urgent and savage.
“Please, Sin. I need you. All of you.”
A dark smile curves over his mouth, and he presses closer so his lips ghost across the shell of my ear. “Then I’m going to need you to be a good little mate, and take everything I give you.”
Cool air brushes over my skin, and suddenly, I’m sitting on Sin’s shoulders, his face buried between my thighs.
I gasp, gripping his hair for leverage as his tongue dives between my folds. He devours me, and I grind against his mouth, only for him to move to my clit and suck on the sensitive nub. I groan, needing more.
Sin grins against my clit. “Does my kitten need to be filled up?”
I start nodding, only to yelp when his teeth tug on my clit.
“Words,” he purrs, before trailing his tongue against the delicate bundle of nerves.
My breath hitches, and his teeth find me again.
“Yes! Fuck!” The sharp sting sends jolts of heat down my spine, and I choke out, “Please fill me up, Sin!”
“That’s my good girl.” His tongue dives inside of me again as he carries me to the bed, not stopping until my back hits the mattress.
He spreads my legs in a single, fluid motion, and a low, satisfied hum rumbles up through him as he slides a finger over my slit.
“You are so fucking stunning. I love seeing you spread open and dripping for me,” he murmurs, then thrusts three fingers inside me.
A pleasured groan is wrenched from my lips as I lift my hips to meet him. He strokes my inner walls, each slow pump edging me closer to my release.
“Is that all you can take, kitten?” He asks in a low tone. “I think you can take more, don’t you?”
“Sin, please,” I moan.
He lifts my hips, adding a fourth finger just as his mouth finds my clit. My breath catches, suddenly overwhelmed as he works me faster and deeper. Once I’m seconds from falling over the edge, he pulls back.
I barely have a second to whimper at the feeling of being empty before the wide head of his cock presses against my slit.
He slides into me in a slow, devastating thrust, and pure possessive fire burns in his gaze once he’s completely sheathed inside me.
“Say it,” he growls, not moving.
“Yours. I’m yours, and you’re mine,” I answer, already knowing what he’s asking.
Red energy flares over his tattoos, swirling down to wrap around me. With it, electricity hums over my skin. Only this doesn’t feel like the searing heat of my combined powers.
This warms the hollow void in my soul, almost like the broken pieces are being forged into something new.
Sin pulls out of me almost completely, and something wild flashes in his eyes. “That’s right, kitten. I am yours, and you are fucking mine.”
He thrusts back into me, and I gasp as the mate bond snaps back into place.
A wave of pleasure crashes through me, making me tighten around him – only it isn’t mine. Sin’s pleasure floods me, bringing feelings of overwhelming relief and joy.
I gasp, just as he claims my mouth for another kiss, and he starts fucking me at a savage pace.
When I’m seconds from coming undone, he breaks our kiss. He slams into me, just as his teeth sink into my neck.
My vision whites out as my orgasm tears through me. He continues to fuck me, biting and sucking at my neck, the pain only amplifying the already dizzying pleasure. He keeps up his brutal pace, drawing out my pleasure until his cock throbs, spilling his seed deep within me.
Both of our hearts are beating at a wild pace, and he wraps his arms around me, turning us so that I’m sprawled against his chest.
Pure contentment flows through the bond as his fingers trace patterns over my back.
“Hello, kitten,” his purr curls through my mind.
A grin pulls at my lips, and I lift onto my elbows to look at him. “Were you planning on staying in here indefinitely?”
His cock twitches, still very much inside me.
“Absolutely, I am,” he answers with a slow, teasing stroke.
I lean up to nip his bottom lip. “In my mind?” I clarify. My tone is playful, and I lift my hips, causing him to almost slip out of me.
He growls at my teasing, his hands finding my hips and tugging me back.
“Every moment I get to see what goes on in your mind is nirvana to me,” he answers as his cock grinds into me, each inch dragging against my clit. “I’m not leaving unless you ask me to.”
He holds me in place as he fucks me torturously slowly, each thrust stoking the fire within me.
I melt into his touch, gladly losing myself to the pleasure he gives me.
He groans, and an almost savage wave of lust pulses through the bond. “Fuck, I love it when you let me use you, when you let me control every part of your sweet body to give you all the pleasure you deserve,” he growls.
“Then take me. Use me. I’m yours, Sin. I want everything,” I answer, my voice coming out breathless.
He goes still. “Do you know what I did while you were away? To stop myself from breaking and coming after you?” He asks in a low whisper.
I groan, and my nails dig into his shoulders. His slow pace has coaxed the lingering heat from my last orgasm into an inferno, and I need more.
He smirks and thrusts back into me. “I read your books. Every last one. A lot of them involved more than one man…”
He doesn’t give me a chance to panic at that comment, and he grinds his dick into me as he continues, “And I think my kitten might be greedy. Is that what you crave? Having all your holes filled at once?”
My breath catches, and desire pulses through me.
Sin’s eyes flash at the same time, no doubt feeling it through the bond.
“I’ll never share you, kitten. You are fucking mine,” he growls, kissing me deeply.
His tongue fucks my mouth at the same pace as his cock as he continues in my mind, “But if you let me take control inside here, while I fuck you, I can give you everything you’re too shy to ask for.
Will you let me in completely? I want to see what you look like when you’re feeling too much pleasure to function. ”
A rush of desire pools between my legs at the thought of whatever he’s proposing.
I’m almost too embarrassed to say yes, even though I want it badly. Until I feel his lust course through the bond, even stronger than before.
He wants this, too.