Chapter 61
Vivian’s Point of View
Rule sixty-one: If you’re planning for war, definitely use highlighters.
Ithink I’m going to throw up.
“Show no fear,” Sin notes in my mind.
His hand rests on the small of my back as we stride through the barracks, heading for headquarters. Every step feels like it’s taking too long, and low murmurs fill the hall.
Metal scrapes against stone as the soldiers prepare for battle. Many give me solemn nods, and I try to swallow my rising panic as I return the gesture. There’s a tightness in my chest, and it makes my fighting leathers feel like they’re too tight.
Sin and I only took enough time to get dressed before returning to the Otherworld.
I tried to rush, but he insisted on double-checking all my weapons sheaths before we apparated back. His worry filtered through the bond as he did it, and I know he was reassuring himself that I was okay.
“You’re doing great,” he adds, and I have to swallow the scoff that wants to jump out of my throat.
His hand flexes against me before he continues, “I’ve seen leaders flee the moment war was mentioned.”
Every soldier’s trusting stare is an acute reminder that they’re counting on me. Their lives are in my hands, and the weight of that responsibility makes the urge to run painfully understandable.
It’s terrifying. But instead of letting the fear take over, I swallow it down and try to make light of Sin’s words, “If I run, you’ll just catch me.”
He turns to look at me, and his gaze is fierce and unwavering. “Just say the word, kitten. You’re my priority. You want to run – I run with you.”
My lips part, and my breath catches in my throat. The knowledge that he would choose me over everything steals the air from my lungs.
We’re only a few steps from the headquarters door now. All I want to do is accept his offer.
I square my shoulders instead. “No. No more running. We fight.”
“That’s my good girl,” he purrs, and his answering smile is as devastatingly beautiful as it is deadly.
The moment we step inside the headquarters room, the tension in the air turns heavy. Morgana, Ragna, and Varian are standing around the table, all focused on a large sheet of paper spread across its surface.
Surprisingly, my Mortal Realm friends are here, too. They’re sitting a few seats down, each of them looking pale. Sarah gives me a weak smile, and Isaac waves, while Conner stares at the table, looking like he might throw up.
I give them a small wave and stride over to stand beside Morgana. Sin doesn’t leave my side.
“What’s happened?” I ask, not wanting to beat around the bush.
“It’s not good,” Morgana answers, not looking up from the paper.
I follow her gaze and take in the hastily drawn map. The coastline and roads are traced in highlighter, and small notes are scattered throughout.
My stomach drops.
It’s Sarah’s handwriting.
This is a map of our coastal college town.
“No…” I whisper, disbelieving.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Ragna confirms. “The fae armies have begun to mobilize. They’ve apparated to the Mortal Realm.”
Varian points to an ‘X’ on the map. “This is where they’ve been setting up camp. Your friends say this is a large stretch of rocky hills and forest, not far from their town.”
I give a shaky nod. “Yeah. Uhm, there aren’t many houses out that way,” but even as I say it, I can see they’ve already included the few I can remember.
“How many of our armies are ready to mobilize?” Sin asks, looking over the map.
Morgana finally looks up, and shock ghosts across her face when she sees him. But she masks the reaction a moment later.
Nausea wells up in my gut as I realize she just saw his soul.
Ragna’s hands clench on the edges of the table.
“Not enough. The rebel army leaders are already mobilizing their soldiers, but they need to move quietly. If the Fae or Angelic Realm authorities notice, they’ll be captured.
My soldiers began apparating in yesterday, but it’s a slow effort.
My army has always taken a defensive stance, and many of my soldiers can’t apparate.
We’ve brought in about five hundred so far, but moving them to the Mortal Realm will take time. ”
“With our allies and enough time to apparate in the Shifters, we could have a standing army of about six thousand, but we need a few days to get them there,” Morgana adds.
“Fuck,” Sin growls.
Bile rises in my throat, but I push it back down. Maybe we still have time, maybe our enemies are moving just as slowly. “What about the fae and Otherworld armies? How soon will they be ready?”
Something that looks like pity ghosts across Morgana’s face.
“A couple of hours at most. Every member of the fae army can apparate, and they’ll be able to carry any Otherworld soldiers who can’t.
Their armies have been ready to mobilize for weeks.
We’ve also received word that the Angelic Realm army has begun apparating out. ”
“Will they hurt mortals?” Sarah’s soft voice wavers, but the room goes silent as we all turn to her. Her brow is furrowed, like she’s putting on a brave face, despite feeling terrified.
Same, bestie. Same.
Ragna’s expression turns grim. “Absolutely, she will. We were counting on the rebel armies to help us apparate our people. I’m sure Need already knows this and plans to use mortals as leverage to force us into battle before we’re ready.
The wisest move would be to wait until our reinforcements arrive.
We’ll still be outnumbered, but we’ll have a chance. ”
My stomach drops at her unspoken meaning. She’s suggesting we leave the mortals to die.
I wait another beat for someone to speak up and argue with her, but no one says a word.
They’re all waiting on me.
“How badly outnumbered would we be if we fight now?” I manage to choke out.
We were already outnumbered three to one. How much worse could it really get?
Varian shakes his head a bit, like he can already tell where my thoughts are headed.
“Altogether, they likely have at least twenty thousand soldiers. The Fae army alone makes up half of that. If we let Need force our hand, we’ll be lucky to apparate in a thousand soldiers. We’ll be as good as dead.”
Twenty-to-one. The entire world seems to fade away to nothing but those numbers.
“It’s your choice,” Sin murmurs, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I lean back into him, as if it will let me borrow some of his strength.
“This is war, Vivian. You cannot save everyone,” Ragna notes. Her tone is firm but sad.
It’s an impossible decision – a decision I would rather do anything than make.
Stalling for more time, I look back over the map, even though I’m not really seeing it.
No matter what choice I make, I’ll be sentencing people to die. There must be another way.
If Sin fights Leon, I can use my power to help kill him, and then we’d have the advantage. But what if I accidentally go nuclear again? I could accidentally kill us all.
“Your soul is in better shape. You might have better control,” Sin notes, listening to my thoughts.
A small tendril of my anxiety dissipates.
Sin is right here with me. I’m not making this choice alone, and right now, that is everything.
Pursing my lips, I consider his words, only to give the slightest shake of my head. “Might is a strong word. If I lose control, you wouldn’t be able to help me without becoming a target for Leon.”
“If we wait, you can practice using your power,” he answers, not adding any inflection that may sway me one direction over another.
Ragna clears her throat. “Vivian, if we’re fighting, then every minute counts. We need an answer.”
My throat tightens. The smart thing to do is wait.
Casualties can’t be avoided during war.
Sacrifices must be made.
But no matter how often I repeat those threads of wisdom, I can’t shake the chilling memories that come with them.
I think back to every time I was sacrificed in the name of the greater good.
Morgana killed Cassandra.
Need bribed the Fates to tamper with my Keeper bond.
Leon used the leash to try to bind us.
Every time… they thought they were doing the right thing.
I swallow, and it feels like a rock is stuck in my throat. Sin’s arms tighten around me, hearing my decision before I’ve spoken it aloud.
“We fight,” I answer, wishing I sounded strong.
Varian looks resigned, but nods, regardless. He turns back to the map, pointing to a spot just a little further down from where the armies are mobilizing.
It’s a large clearing in front of the coastline.
“Need has the higher ground. There are forests and lakes around most of their armies. This is the only spot close by that will have room for us, and give us clear access to her armies, while blocking off access to the town,” he notes.
I nod. “Alright, then that’s our spot.”
Ragna turns to Varian. “We’ll have our armies rally at the apparition points. Every soldier capable of apparating will have to take as many as possible. No one moves to the Mortal Realm until we’re ready. If we arrive separately, they’ll just pick us off, one by one.”
Varian gives her a mock salute before his gaze shifts back to mine. I must not be doing a good job of concealing my guilt because his hard expression melts a bit. “Every one of the freed prisoners owes you their life. It is an honor to fight for you.”
“Thank you,” I whisper back, still not quite believing that this is real life.
He nods, turning on his heel to stride out of the room.
Before he leaves, I call out, “Has anyone seen the others?” I figured Damien, Magnus, Rosie, and Arianna would be here too.
Varian doesn’t slow when he answers, “Magnus and Damien will meet us there, I’ll ensure it.” And then he’s gone.
“Rosie is in the armory, tipping arrows with poison,” Sarah answers.