27
Yasmine helps my shaky legs out of the car, but when I look up, I find Noah’s SUV racing into a parking spot a few spots beside us. He barely takes the time to put the car in park before leaping out to run to me with wild, bulging eyes.
I laugh out of both anxiety and guilt, hating to make my mate so stressed. But as he pulls me into his arms, I suck in a horrified breath; Noah has two long gashes across his chest. Blood darkens his black t-shirt, and the end of one gash stretches up his chest to his collarbone.
I lift my hands off his chest as quickly as I can, afraid I’ve hurt him worse. “You’re bleeding!?”
Noah cups my face in his hands. “I’m fine. Just some asshole Alphas teaming up on me.”
As I stare into Noah’s eyes, I know exactly who distracted him. Whose foolish panic could’ve gotten her mate killed. My heart drops to the floor. I teeter in Noah’s hands along with it, and he gasps.
“Shit, okay. We’re getting you inside. Yas, can you spot me?”
“On it,” Yasmine says behind us.
Noah scoops me into his arms. “Fuck, you’re so pale, Aliya. What’s going on?”
“I-I don’t know.” My voice wobbles.
But as I drop my head against Noah’s bleeding chest, a deeper whiff of his blood stings my nose. For some reason, I breathe more of it in. A sharp, iron-stained scent pierces my nostrils, burying itself into my lungs. I expect it to make me nauseous, but I can’t stop sniffing as my wolf takes over.
I scramble higher on Noah’s chest to lick his wounds. Noah grips me tighter, leaning back in shock. “What are you— Oh. Uh— W-what’s going on?”
Making quick work of lapping up his blood, I purr as my gushing drool heals him twice as quickly as usual. When my licks deepen further, leaning hard into the deepest gash, Noah scoops his hand around my shoulder, tugging me off him by the chin like I’m a puppy stealing cake.
Noah stands frozen outside the Pack Doctor’s office doorway, gaping down at me in his arms with a mix of surprise and confusion in our bond.
Embarrassment flickers through my core. What the hell has gotten into me? I’m horrified to admit it to myself, but Noah’s blood tasted really good. As Noah continues to stare in shock, I lick the blood off my lips as my cheeks flame hot.
“Sorry. Hi,” I rasp.
Noah lifts one eyebrow, breaking into an amused grin. “Hey. You wolfing out, sweet Omega?”
“A little...”
“Your little fangs popped out and everything.” Noah chuckles. But when he nods to Yasmine to hold the Pack Doctor’s door open for us, he frowns. “Am I not cooking you enough meat? Maybe you need iron.”
It’s a good theory, but now my stomach kills from swallowing blood. I groan, leaning into Noah’s damp chest.
Except we’re not alone anymore. The Pack Doctor’s office overflows with Lycans waiting to be seen. There’s nowhere for us to sit, and hardly enough space to stand. Noah once mentioned they don’t have as many Lycans in the world who understand our biology enough to provide diagnostic care, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.
A nurse rushes out from the back to meet us. “Hi, Alpha. Right this way.”
She opens the door to guide us to a private room, but I stiffen in Noah’s arms. “Wait, it’s not our turn.”
Noah opens his mouth to speak, but the nurse laughs.
“Luna, it is your turn. You’re very unwell, so you’re high on the priority list.”
My chest burns. “No, I’m okay enough. Everyone else was waiting here first, and it’s not an emergency. I don’t want special treatment.”
I look to Noah, awaiting his backup, but his concerned frown melts into a touched smile. Within seconds, Noah and I are surrounded by a horde of concerned Lycans.
“Who’s next on the list to be seen after our future Luna?” An older Alpha woman asks.
“My question exactly,” a young Beta mom nods. “I’ve been waiting 20 minutes, so I might as well wait a few more.”
The nurse flips through her chart. “Actually, it was our top Alpha, for deep wound cleaning. But I don’t see any gashes on you anymore, Alpha Noah.”
“Oh, I—” Noah bites back a laugh. “My mate took care of that for me.”
The older Alpha scoffs. “Then she’s already made our wait easier for us! Please, Luna, you smell so uncomfortable. We all want you to be okay.”
My heart twists as I gaze at the concerned eyes around us. I know the pack takes care of one other, but I didn’t think about how much they’d take care of me.
Just as I brim in tears, the nurse rubs my shoulder. “I’ll just start you off with some bloodwork and vitals, then leave you to wait in a room for a while, anyway. I’ll call in whoever’s next as soon as I’m done. No need to worry, Luna.”
“Okay,” I mutter.
Noah gives the nurse a polite smile, carrying me through the open door. He sets me into a chair in the hallway, and the nurse hops into action, taking my vitals and preparing to draw blood.
“Natalia already ordered this based on your symptoms, but I also know you’ve been feeling a bit queasy and dizzy. Let me know if you feel faint, okay?” The nurse says.
“Okay,” I say.
But Noah isn’t okay. His eyes flick between the nurse and me. As the nurse pricks a vein on my inner arm, Noah tenses his chest, drawing even closer until his wide form blocks the overhead lights.
The nurse laughs. “Alpha, please just let me do my job without hovering.”
Noah flushes, taking a step back. “Sorry, I”m just— I don”t know. My hormones are a little raised after everything today.”
God, now I really don”t feel like I can tell him what triggered me.
Right on cue, Noah”s eyes flicker to mine. Are you still feeling nauseous? Yas mentioned you had a trauma trigger that caused you to feel sick?
Unfortunately, yes... And those Alphas you mentioned, were they...?
I don’t even need to finish asking if they were Alpha-domination cultists. Noah suddenly can’t meet my eyes.
He’s never come home with an injury from them before. Does he hide his wounds from me, or are things getting even worse?
“You”re all set, Luna! Here’s your room, right in front of us.” The nurse waits for Noah to help me through the door across the hall. When I’m nestled safely on the examination bed beneath a blanket, the nurse gives us a bright smile. “Natalia might need some time, so please make yourselves comfortable.”
With the door shut behind the nurse, Noah presses a soft kiss into my cheek. “Are you still feeling triggered?”
“A little.”
Noah raises one eyebrow. “You smell like you’re hiding something.”
I sputter out a laugh, burying my head in my hands. “I’m not intentionally hiding something, but you’re right. I didn’t want to admit that I got myself way too worked up trying to solve our dads’ potential murders on my own, ultimately triggering myself instead.”
Biting my lip, I glance at Noah for his reaction. Thankfully, his tense eyebrows soften. “Oh, my sweet Omega. Let’s put that aside until you feel better, and then we can work on it together when we’re both feeling ready. You don’t have to go through that torture alone anymore, okay? I’m on your side.”
I sigh. “God, you’re right, thank you. I’m on your side too.”
“How triggering was it, exactly?”
I groan. “Well, it was more of a momentary thing. Now I mainly feel really exhausted and sick—and dizzy after I puked my guts out in the cafe, then in front of Yas. It was so embarrassing, Noah.”
He whines in sympathy, hugging my head to his chest.
His leftover damp blood on his shirt hits my nose again, and I hum. “Maybe you”re right and I am anemic.”
“I think that’s possible, but I’d also want to know why. You really think it was just stress, and not—” Noah clears his throat. “I still think you’re pregnant.”
Biting my lip, I groan as my racing heart aggravates my nausea. “I don”t know. Didn”t you say I smelled like I just started ovulating yesterday? But I was too tired to have sex beyond ten minutes, so I mainly just laid there like a boring lump.”
Noah sputters out a laugh, backing away from my bedside to plop into the room’s additional chair. “I mean, I enjoyed it. If you weren’t pregnant already like I thought, you probably are now.”
I laugh with him despite my cheeks flushing hot. But my focus wavers, landing back on the blood staining his shirt. Now that he’s a few feet away from me, the browning coats more of his chest than I thought, curling my guts.
Noah’s smile fades. “I’m not going to let them hurt you, okay?”
“But they hurt you.”
Dropping his head, Noah scrubs his forehead. A low, stinging hum strikes our bond. I’ve never felt dread like this, but it has my heart racing in seconds. I shuffle on the bed, struggling to stave off my nausea.
“Talk to me,” I say.
Noah puts his head in his hands. He takes a deep breath. Then another. “I’m starting to really panic, Aliya. I don’t know if I can handle this Alpha-dom situation alone. It’s growing bigger than I expected, and I really hate admitting that, especially if you’re pregnant. These assholes have the worst timing possible, every time.”
My stomach flip-flops over itself, but something in Noah’s words sticks out. “You don’t have any allies you could talk to about this? Maybe some other top Alphas out there who could back you up?”
He leans into his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands beneath his chin. “You’re right. I do have some across the world, so maybe I could move our meeting sooner. We’re scheduled to talk soon about this huge event. Fuck, I need to tell you about that bullshit too.”
“What bullshit?”
Noah groans, dropping his eyes into his palms and pressing hard. “The fucking Alpha Summit. So, patriarchal bullshit.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but stress vibrates through his tense shoulders. I hop off the bed, plopping my butt in his lap. Noah breaks into low chuckles, scooting me closer by the hips until we’re huddled up tight.
Gazing into his worn, worried eyes, I give him a soft smile. “No matter what, I’m going through every second of it with you. You don’t have to handle this alone without me, either. Even if—” I bite my lip as Noah breaks into a smile. “Even if you’re right and I’m carrying your baby.”
Noah’s shoulders loosen. His hand slides off my hip, swooping over my abdomen. But he keeps his palm there, warming my belly.
We’re not smiling now; nerves crash through our bond. But the longer we stare, the fresher Noah’s gaze grows. I break into soft, shy giggles. Noah giggles with me, diving for my lips.
A woman tears open the door with a booming “Hello!” I jump off Noah’s lap, spurring him into more giggles. This woman has just as loud of a smile, her incisors gleaming white as she throws her arms out in excitement. “Alpha Noah! I’ve been waiting for you to introduce me to our future Luna! And she shouldn’t be on her feet.”
My heart flips as Noah ducks his head with a smile. This must be Natalia, the Pack Doctor.
“Agreed, Doc.” Noah helps me hop back onto the bed, settling the blanket over my knees.
Natalia drops into her rolling chair, whizzing across the room. “I only have a minute, but I wanted to stop in and say hello. It’s so nice to meet you, Aliya! My future Luna!”
“It’s nice to meet you too! Thank you for working so hard for us,” I say.
“Oh, I’m happy to, Luna!” She leans in without warning, sniffing my neck. I fawn, and she pats my arm. “Oops, sorry. And I’m also sorry for the wait. Alpha Noah mentioned you’re attempting to conceive?”
My stomach swirls. I grip my shirt, struggling to come to terms with the fact that I’m finally here, talking about this with a doctor. “Yes, I— We are.”
Noah chuckles. “Or we have. At least, I think it worked.”
I choke out a laugh. “Noah—”
Natalia breaks into booming laughter. My stunned stare meets Noah”s, and we burst into giggles.
Flipping my wrist, Natalia pokes at my veins. “Oh, Alpha Noah, I think so too! Symptom-wise at least.”
I gape at her. With a skyrocketing heart rate, I replay what Natalia just said. Did I hear her correctly?
But as Natalia looks into my eyes, her smile softens. “However, I happen to know you’re a hybrid.”
My heart sinks to the floor.
Before she even says anything else, my eyes sting hot with tears. Natalia’s hand lands on mine. “Oh, sweetheart. Don’t you worry, okay? I’m here to help you.”
Noah stands. “Natalia, what do you mean? I’ve never heard anything about hybrids having trouble conceiving. No more than other Lycans.”
“Not with conceiving, but carrying to term. In order to shapeshift into such large forms, Lycans are denser and require different nutrients than humans. If a hybrid’s DNA contains more human than Lycan traits, it may strain the hybrid carrier, and all the usual pregnancy risks are higher.”
Noah’s wide eyes hit me the hardest. I try to cover my mouth, but as Noah meets my eyes, the pain in our bond triples, and I break into sharp sobs.
He rushes to my side, hugging my head to his chest. “No, I’ve never heard of this being a thing. How do we know this? Has it been properly studied? And either way, her wolf is a powerhouse. She’s got a lot of Lycan in her, and I really do think she’s already pregnant. Isn’t there a way I could give her what she needs? Someone in the world I could take her to that specializes in this?”
Natalia opens my file, pulling out a dense packet of pages. She hands them to me, and I take it with shaking fingers. “Oh, our poor Luna and top Alpha, I’m not meaning to make you so concerned. It’s my duty to clearly explain the risks to you both, but I want you to know that I’ve researched this heavily in my own time since the day I heard Alpha Noah found his mate—and that you were a hybrid. I’m already prepared to support you both through this.”
I suck in a sharp gasp. “So there’s— There’s some hope?”
“Absolutely, Luna. I said the risks are higher, but it doesn’t mean you need to necessarily have them. I just want to be straightforward with you from the beginning so you both know what to expect in case those risks arrive.”
Natalia rubs my arm, but it doesn’t soothe Noah’s poor heart throbbing against my ear. I shut my eyes, breathing through the heavy ache in my gut. I know I can’t change or choose my DNA, but I feel guilty that Noah hurts over this too.
But as he kisses my head, running his hand over my back, he lets out a sharp huff. “Thank you so much for looking into this, Natalia. Please, let me know how we can help her. I’ll do whatever I can.”
Oh. I can’t choose my DNA, but I did choose Noah to bind my DNA with to have a child. And he chose me.
Noah perks up. “The blood from my wounds. She seemed— Uh, really into its smell, earlier. Anemia is a pregnancy risk, right?”
“Absolutely, and with just one look at you, Luna, I’d suspect that too. Luckily, this one is easy for us to take care of, and common with Lycan pregnancies if the carrier isn’t eating enough meat.”
Natalia launches into an explanation on how to better boost my diet to carry a Lycan pup. I try to smile and nod along, but as Noah asks questions and Natalia excitedly answers, my mind fuzzes out their voices. All I can feel is Noah’s desperate touch on my back, and my quivering palm on my abdomen.
For days, I’ve been denying Noah’s prediction that I’m already pregnant, but now that I know I could lose this possible-baby, I’m heartbroken beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. My body has numbed into full silence. I hardly even notice we left the office to go to the car until Noah opens the passenger door for me, and I feel his eyes on me.
When I meet his terrified gaze, my heart drops. I can’t lose Noah’s baby. I don’t think I could survive it.
Just before I crumble into guttural tears, Noah grasps me, pulling me to his chest.
“Look at me,” he rasps. His eyes are just as red as his swelling lips, warning of heavy tears. I melt into whimpering sobs, but Noah shakes his head. “I’m not giving up on you, or that pup. I know you don’t believe me yet, but I feel it in my gut, Aliya. I think you’re pregnant, and I don’t think we have to worry. We’re going to make it through. Even if I’m wrong, and we’ll have to try again, I’m right here. I’ll always be here, baby or no baby. You just have to promise me one thing, okay? And I’m so sorry, but it might be one thing I can’t give you a choice on.”
My heart spikes hard enough to freeze my tears. That was so unlike him. “What do you mean?”
He opens his mouth to speak, but his breath hitches. Noah shakes his head, looking up to blink away his tears. When his stare returns to mine, my lungs ache from his pain in my heart. “Aliya, no matter what happens, you have to survive this, first and foremost, okay? I need you. I’m so sorry, and I know it’s selfish of me, but—” He bites back sharp, heaving tears. “Please, don’t leave me here alone.”
Noah’s desperate, shattered stare breaks through my dissociative state in a way I didn’t expect. Numbness evaporates from my limbs, leaving me with a stinging, raw wound in my heart.
But I love it. This pain means I already love Noah’s baby, whether they make it long enough to exist here with us or not. If all Noah needs at the end of the day is for me to exist, and all I need is for him to exist, then we’re okay. We’ll be okay.
I break into a weeping smile, straining on my toes to reach his lips. Noah hiccups against my lips, tugging at my heartstrings. I pull from his salty lips with a pop, wiping his nose with my sleeve.
“My poor, sweet Alpha,” I whisper. Noah shuts his eyes, indulging in my slow, gentle scalp scratches. “There you go, gorgeous. I’m right here. We’re in this together, and I couldn’t have chosen a better mate to do this with. Even if it ends in heartbreak, all I need is you to exist beside me too. I’m here. We’re both here.”
Noah glomps onto me hard, leaning us against his SUV. We cling to each other in silence for a while, breathing through our tears.
On the drive home, our hands are knitted tight over the center console. My heart feels an odd lightness to it. I can’t stop staring at Noah’s profile as he drives. As my eyes roam over his scruff, the extra sloppiness of his dark hair, and the soft sniffles from his ridged nose, my stomach flutters for a very different reason.
I squeeze his hand. “Noah, did it sink in for you yet?”
He furrows his brows. “Which part? There’s so much to think about that my head’s spinning.”
When I break into nervous giggles, Noah’s lips twitch like he’s tempted to smile despite his heavy heart.
But I can’t stop giggling, so Noah chuckles with me. “What is it, sweet Omega? Goddess, you’re so fucking cute.”
My heart hammers wildly, stunting my laughter. Noah nibbles his lip in the silence, only aiding my nerves as I tug on his hand. Noah allows me to move our locked fingers freely. I unfurl his clasped palm. Placing his open hand over my lower abdomen, I force myself to remember to breathe as a crashing boom of excitement hits our bond.
I can’t stop my whisper from shaking. “She said we might be— That I could be—”
My mate’s face shifts from one extreme emotion to the next, wide eyes giving way to a beaming smile and ending in an explosive laugh. I burst into laughter with him, squirming in my seat at the panic, joy, and fear racing through my chest.
“So you finally believe me?!” Noah’s supercharged eyes are neon yellow.
I sputter out a laugh, knowing I’m talking directly to the massive black wolf with zoomies in our bond. “I didn’t say I fully believed it yet. Just that someone else is on your side—the Pack Doctor, at that.”
Noah groans through his smile. “How many days is it again until you miss your period and start believing me, then?”
As I break into heavier laughter with my mate, he keeps his hand on me, rubbing my flat stomach with his thumb. It might be too early, but I’m tempted to let myself enjoy it. Deep in my heart, I know that as long as I can continue to witness Noah’s bright, beaming smile, everything will be okay.