CHAPTER SIXTY
Haden
“Here you go, honey.” Penny drops the key in my hand and smiles up at me. I already got the main key from the lawyer, but it’s still symbolic to have Penny place the spare in my hand.
I sigh. “It still doesn’t feel real, Pen.”
“Well, it’s all yours. You’ll probably want to change the name now.”
I look up at the main house of Penny Lane.
The brick exterior needs a power wash and, at some point in the near future, the windows will need to be replaced too.
But it’s all mine. Well, it will be in twenty-five years when the mortgage is paid off.
I was happy that the bank not only offered me a competitive loan, but also granted me a line of credit for remodeling and anything that needs to be done to help fix this place up.
The money is in the land, they said. I guess saving all my money for the last eight years was worth it when I was able to walk in there with a third down and still not deplete my savings.
“I’m never changing the name, Pen,” I tell her now, pulling her in for a side hug. “This is Penny Lane Rescue Ranch forever.”
Penny turns to me with glassy eyes. “Oh, I didn’t expect to feel so emotional. There are just lots of memories here with Will and Anna.”
“It’s your home. Always.” I tell her, letting her go. “And besides, you already promised you’d stay on for at least the next year while I get on my feet with this place.”
I’m not moving in quite yet. I want Penny to take her time getting all her personal belongings packed up. She’s leaving me all her furniture since her new condo comes furnished.
“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. The only difference between now and two weeks from now is, at the end of the day, this place will just be where I work and not my burden to bear. I’m sixty-eight. It’s time to have some fun!”
“You’ve definitely earned it.”
“Oh. Here’s Anna!” Penny waves to her daughter, who is coming up the drive.
She’s here with her husband to help get Penny set up and to see her new condo at the Magnolia Grove Gardens retirement community near Cave Run Lake.
The condos have a beautiful exterior with a full courtyard.
There’s shuffleboard and pickleball in the summer and full lake access all year round.
Magnolia Grove Gardens is somewhere Penny can live semi-retired without having to garden, or deal with caved-in roofs. That’s all my problem now.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as Penny climbs into the passenger-side door of Anna’s car with a wave and saying she’ll be back in a few hours. I glance at the messages from Wade and Asher.
ASHER
Sorry I can’t be there tonight. I’m working a double. Fucking dog-tired though.
No worries, man. Keep the town safe. We’ll catch up next week.
SARGE
Beer and pizza is on us. We’ll be there in a half hour.
Sounds good. I can’t fucking believe I bought this place. I’m gonna miss being at the ranch all day every day.
SARGE
We knew it was coming at some point. But thanks again for staying on to make sure Dusty is ready.
Also don’t get emotional on me.
Wouldn’t dream of it. See you all soon.
I grin. I was met with nothing but encouragement when I talked to Wade the other day before officially making Penny an offer.
He was happy to see me take on my own place.
All he asked was that I stay on staff with him every morning for three months and that I’m available to answer any calls to make sure Dusty is ready to take over as top hand, which I have no problem with.
Plus, Dusty is already ready. He’s been my shadow for two years now.
I take a moment to let today sink in. I can’t wait to start sanding and restaining the floors, and Asher has already told me he’ll help redo the kitchen cabinets for me. My chest tightens at the thought of how I’ll make this place my own.
I snap a selfie of me with the house in the background and send it to Cassie.
Bigger front porch to drink my coffee on.
We haven’t really talked in the last few days since we lost control on the phone.
I know she’s gearing up for the biggest show she’s ever played, and the other night sent my head spinning anyway.
I have no idea what the future holds for us and, at this point, it feels almost like we’re prolonging the inevitable.
But for some reason I just can’t let her go.
I spend the next hour working on the weeds in the garden as I listen to the album Cassie sent me after our phone call. The artist is Wyatt Flores and he’s really fucking good. However, the glow of buying the ranch dims the moment I see my dad’s truck pulling up the driveway.
I watch as he opens the driver’s door. He’s looking older these days. His hair is more gray than the sandy brown it used to be.
“You keeping this place a secret? I had to find out from Jolene Ashby in the grocery store that you bought it.”
Shit. Jo would’ve never thought twice about mentioning it. She has no idea how strained my relationship is with my dad because I don’t talk much about it. And he is really good at making it seem like we’re the best of friends.
I shrug. “It just happened. It’s not a secret.”
“Well, it’s hard to realize the house you grew up in isn’t something you want. You knew you had a perfectly good home if you’d just put some effort into visiting once in a while and helping me fix—”
“Fuck,” I interject. I’m tired of fucking listening to his negativity. “I know you’re lonely. I know you’ve been lonely. That’s why you go to the track and pick fights with me. But this? You telling me what a disappointment I am every time we talk is why I don’t visit.”
“I have a handle on when I gamble and when I don’t.”
I laugh. “No you don’t. Listen Dad, I have this place now. I can no longer lend you money when you need it, or fix the house you live in. That’s your responsibility.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in as I gesture to the land around us. “This is what I’ve always wanted. This is what makes me happy. I just bought a forty-five-acre ranch and you can’t even acknowledge that that is an accomplishment?”
My dad scoffs. “It’s just hard to swallow when I double-mortgaged that house just so I could—”
“Waste all your money on football to get me nowhere? Yep, I get it. You remind me every chance you get. I didn’t make you rich. I didn’t come through for you. I went left instead of right. When are you gonna stop living in the past?”
“What’s gotten into you, boy—”
“Enough,” I interrupt him again. “You wanted me to play football. After she left …” My dad winces.
He never talks about my mother. “You pinned your future on me. But I was ten years old. You never once asked me if I was okay. You never once asked me what I wanted. When I cried myself to sleep every fucking night for a year, wondering what I did to make my mother leave, you drank and brought strange women home from the bar on Friday nights. You didn’t even try to hide it.
I didn’t know you for five years. Until you realized how good I was at football. ”
“I was trying to help you make a life for yourself that I couldn’t give you.”
“No Dad, you were trying to make a life for you. I was your meal ticket, but I fucking hated it. The only reason I played was so I could go to school. Now I’ve earned what I wanted all along without the school or you, and you can’t even be happy for me.
It’s always all about you. What I can do for you.
Well, I’m done.” I throw my hands up. “This place is my priority now. I want to have something to leave my kids one day if I’m lucky enough to have them.
I want to leave this world a little better than I found it.
It’s time you start owning up to your mistakes.
If you can’t take care of your house, sell it. ”
I start to walk away but my dad’s boots are heavy on the gravel behind me.
“This is all that buckle bunny’s doing, ain’t it? She’s gotten under your skin. You’re influenced by some barrel racer’s pussy.”
I turn back and grab his collar, rage seeping through every part of me.
“She’s not here, in case you haven’t noticed.
And she’s not some buckle bunny either. She’s an incredible singer and songwriter.
” I let him go as he stumbles backward. “And you will speak respectfully about her. I won’t hit my own father, but if I ever hear you talk about Cassie like that again, you won’t be welcome here.
And this?” I look around “This is me. I’m a simple rancher.
I am never going to be able to pay you back for putting every cent you had into football.
I’m never going to care about the house I had to live in missing my mother every day.
And I’m never going to have a relationship with you if you continue to make me feel like shit every chance you get. ”
Just as I finish my last words, Wade’s truck pulls into the driveway. He parks next to my dad and hops out.
“Sorry we’re late,” he explains. “I was talking to Asher. Apparently, Olivia had a call to her house tonight. A kitchen fire.”
“Fuck. No shit?” I put my hands in my pocket. “Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s just fine. Asher’s there, assessing the damage.”
“Damn. I was just talking to him. He’s on hour fourteen of his shift already. What a way to top off his night.”
“Yeah.” Wade says. “We’ll find out more later. But she’s lucky.”
“Wade,” my dad says, extending his hand to shake Wade’s as Cole gets out of the back of the truck. He’s on the phone and holding pizza. Nash gets out of the passenger side carrying a couple of six packs.
“Jim,” Wade says. “Here to christen the new house with us?”
“No, I was just heading out. You boys have fun,” he says gruffly, giving me one last glance before he turns on his heel. As he climbs into his truck, I wonder if we will ever understand each other. But one thing is certain: I feel stronger and lighter than I have in years.
Wade looks around “Looks like home, brother.” He smiles wide.
I smile back. “Yeah it does.”
“Anything going on there you want to talk about?” Nash nods toward where my dad was just standing.
“Nah man, let’s just eat.” I clap him on the shoulder as we make the short walk up to my new house. The late April air is almost warm around us. “Is CeCe ready for the concert Sunday night?”
“Yep. She’s just working on some last-minute adjustments.”
The guys chat to each other as we climb the steps but I don’t really hear what they’re saying.
I’m so grateful to each of them for coming to support me.
But I can’t shake the feeling that the only face I wish I could share this with is two time zones away, singing her heart out on a stage and feeling a little less real every morning I wake up without her.