Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
My stomach was in knots as I pulled my new little sports car up the drive toward Remi's winery. The morning was misty, with beautiful dewdrops spread over the vines like a glittering blanket, courtesy of the evening rain. As I pulled up, I saw him walking around the corner of the main building. He looked like he had been working—his sleeves rolled up, dirt on his jeans. When he saw me, he stopped short, and his face tightened. I hoped I hadn't made a mistake in coming here. But I had to apologize for my idiocy the previous day.
I stepped out of the car, my shoes sinking into the mud.
"Be careful there. We got some pretty good rain last night, and it's soggy," Remi said.
I glanced down at my white sneakers, now covered in brown sludge. "I see that. Oh well."
"Is everything Okay?” Remi asked.
"Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you."
He hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Do you want to come inside?"
"To the winery?"
His lips turned up in a crooked grin. "No. My house. It's over there." He pointed to a small cottage off to the side.
"You live here too?"
My stomach fluttered at the idea of entering his house. I didn’t know why. It was just a house. But it felt like a strangely intimate step—one we hadn’t taken yet.
I said nothing and followed him in. I kicked off my shoes at the door, feeling even more vulnerable in my socked feet.
"Can I get you anything? Coffee?"
I nodded. "I'll always say yes to some coffee."
He led me into a small living room area adjacent to a little kitchen. He busied himself making a French press and then came back into the living room.
"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked.
"I wanted to apologize. I acted like a total jerk yesterday, and it's my fault."
He chuckled. "She does have humility."
I mock-glared at him. "Well, one of us has to."
" Merci. I appreciate the apology, but it's not necessary. I know you're under a lot of stress with the house and everything. We all have bad days."
I exhaled. "That's pretty understanding of you."
"Well, it comes from being an absolute jerk myself most of the time. I've learned to recognize it."
The kettle sang from the stove.
"Excuse me." He went into the kitchen and returned with the carafe and two small cups.
"To be honest,” I said. “I’m having this strange juxtaposition of feelings. On the one hand, I've never been more stressed out in my life. But on the other hand, I've never felt more content. Can the two coexist?" I shook my head.
"I think so. Sometimes, when we are doing things that bring us fulfillment and joy, they can still be stressful. Like starting a business or having children. I love my vines with a fiery passion, but they can still cause me no end of stress.”
I nodded, having not thought of it that way before. "I guess that makes sense. This house has been such a joy to work on, but I also don’t know what I’m doing. I’m in over my head. And I guess I have to be honest—I’m still recovering from everything that happened back home."
"Do you want my very professional opinion?"
"Absolutely."
"OK then. Here goes. I think you need to have some grace with yourself."
I paused for a moment before laughing. "That’s pretty solid advice, I suppose."
"I’ll send you the bill," Remi said with a smile.
He pressed the plunger down on the French press, then poured me a cup of coffee. It was rich and full-bodied—perfect for a drizzly French afternoon.
"Can I ask you something personal?" Remi asked.
I savored another sip of coffee before nodding. "Sure, why not? I think we’ve reached that level."
"What in the hell did you see in Evan?"
The question caught me off guard, and for a moment, I sat slack-jawed and expressionless. Then I laughed. "That was a very personal question."
"I mean, having met the man for one evening, I just can’t see it. I suppose he's good-looking, right? Not that I know."
“Hey, straight men can find other men objectively attractive," I said, taking another sip of coffee as I thought over his question. "I don’t know. Evan can be very charming, very charismatic. He has a certain dominant personality that I’ve always been attracted to. Maybe it’s daddy issues, but growing up without a father, I’ve always been drawn to assertive men who take the reins, you know? And Evan offered a lot. He’s very intelligent and business-savvy. He had already been pretty successful in his first venture. And we were friends. We did a lot together, were really active, had a solid friend group."
"It sounds very—safe," Remi said.
I wanted to argue that. I wasn’t the kind of person who played it safe, was I? But really, wasn’t that part of the appeal with Evan?
"I suppose it was. Looking back, I don’t think we ever had any real passion. We just had fun together, and we had enough in common that our weekends were always packed and enjoyable. And then we started the business, which kept us together. But there’s a reason we broke up. We both saw the writing on the wall. And I’m not really grieving any of it. I mean, I initiated the breakup. I just didn’t realize when I broke things off romantically that it would all crumble so disastrously professionally."
"What did you think would happen?" His tone wasn’t accusatory—just inquisitive.
I nodded thoughtfully. "That’s a valid question. Honestly, I should have known we couldn’t keep the business going after we broke up. But I had no idea he’d gotten us into financial trouble. One day, it all just came crashing down."
"People are unpredictable," Remi said. "Even people you’ve known your whole life—they can surprise you. They can change. Or they can be very good at hiding who they really are for many years."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," I said.
He smiled thinly and shrugged. "I think it happens to everyone. I’ve been betrayed before."
"Betrayal. Sounds like such a dramatic word, doesn’t it?"
"It is accurate, though, no?"
"Yes, I think it is accurate. What happened to you? Since we’re baring our souls."
He sighed deeply. His eyes darted around the room as though trying to recall or avoid the memory. "I had a girlfriend once."
I laughed at the earnestness of it. "Did you now?"
"Yes, I’m not always such a loner. And yes, she broke my heart a little."
"Just a little?" I asked with a smile.
He pinched his thumb and forefinger together. "Maybe this much."
"Come on, tell me more. I’ve given you everything."
He sighed and laughed at the same time. "All right, all right. Her name was Manon. She was a model."
Before I could stop myself, I burst out laughing.
He looked at me curiously.
"I’m sorry. It’s not that it’s funny. Well, it’s kind of funny. Of course, your ex-girlfriend was a model."
"It’s France. Every young woman aspires to be a model. And not just the Instagram kind. Anyway, she was ambitious, I’ll give her that. But the country life wasn’t for her. She wanted more. She wanted to go to Paris and pursue her career."
I nodded. "So it ended up being more about different lifestyles, then."
He smiled thinly. "Something like that. But instead of telling me, she was cheating on me with her photographer."
I winced. "That’s unfortunate."
He shrugged. " C’est la vie. So it goes. In the end, it was for the best. We had nothing in common, really. But at the time, it was rather painful."
I studied him, trying to imagine anyone who had him in their grasp wanting anybody else.
"I’m sorry. That still sucks, even if it was for the best. But I guess we learn from the pain, right?"
"Pain is the best teacher, they say. We all need a little heartbreak at some point in our lives. That way, we know how sweet the good things can be. As long as it doesn’t damage us too much."