Chapter 26
26
It was a rare Wednesday night when there was no one staying in the inn. The day before, she’d texted Brian to tell him something came up, but honestly, she’d needed more time to think about what he’d said. He’d texted back that was cool and they would talk soon. She was glad he wasn’t pressing her for an answer, which made her want to accept his offer even more.
Her mom called her earlier in the day to say she was back with Raymond and staying at his place. Something Tracey accepted, before reminding her mom that she would always have a room at the inn. So she took advantage of having the house to herself for a night by changing into her favorite lounge suit and watching television in the downstairs sitting room. The inn would be full of people checking in the next afternoon, but for a few hours she could relax and enjoy the silence. She’d eventually move out, but the place felt like home, so she wasn’t in a hurry.
The doorbell rang just as she’d put down the bowl of grapes and glass of wine she’d planned to enjoy while watching television. Was it Brian? He hadn’t called her since asking her to upgrade their friends-with-benefits relationship. She hadn’t expected him to come by so soon. Not after promising to give her some time to consider. Which she had. All she’d done was think about what he’d said and if she wanted to jump into another relationship.
She picked up her cell phone and opened the app to the doorbell camera. She scoffed when the camera feed came up. Bernard stood on the front doorstep. Rolling her eyes, she dropped her phone, plopped down on the couch and picked up her bowl of grapes. She had no reason to answer the door.
She grabbed the remote and then turned the television to her favorite show. Bernard rang the doorbell again then knocked. A few seconds later his muffled voice came through the door.
“I know you’re in there, Tracey. Your car is here.” He knocked again. “Come on. I need to talk to you, and I’m not leaving until you answer.” He rang the bell and knocked again.
Tracey grunted before putting the bowl to the side. The last thing she needed was for Bernard to make a scene outside her place of business.
She went to the door, unlocked it and jerked it open. “What do you want?”
He had the nerve to look like she’d hurt his feelings. “Why you gotta be like that?”
“Because you’re at my place unannounced.”
“This used to be our place, too.”
She crossed her arms and glared. “This was never ours. What do you want?”
He sighed. “You’re not going to let me in?”
“Why do you need to come in?”
He pointed over his shoulder. “You want anyone who passes by to watch us talking?”
“Bernard!”
“Fine. Your dad came by my place. He told me what he said to you. We need to talk.”
Tracey closed her eyes and took a long breath. “My dad is delusional.”
“No, he’s not. He was right.”
Her eyes popped open. “About what?”
“Everything.”
She moved out on the porch and closed the door behind her. “What are you talking about? I know you don’t want to come back. You’re the one who told me you were bored in our relationship.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I know I said that.”
“Yeah. You said that. The day our divorce was finalized. You also stepped out on our marriage several times before that, so don’t come now saying that you’re feeling different, because I know that’s some bull.”
“It’s not some bull, Tracey.”
“Then, what is it, Bernard? Because we both know we aren’t getting back together. Not now, not ever.”
“I’m not ready for all this,” he said in a thin voice. “The baby. Being a dad. I told you I wasn’t ready.”
He had. Several times. That’s why they’d never had kids. He always had an excuse about why the time wasn’t right. Tracey had wanted kids, but she’d never wanted to force kids with someone who didn’t want them. Her marriage was already imperfect; she couldn’t have brought a kid into that.
“Well, you should have thought of that before you got her pregnant.”
Bernard pulled off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t try to get her pregnant. She told me she was on birth control, and I believed her. Tracey, you know that I wouldn’t have gotten her pregnant on purpose. I think she tricked me.”
Tracey crossed her arms over her chest. “Again, not my problem. You did this. I moved on.”
“But you weren’t supposed to move on.”
“Excuse me?”
“We always made it work, Tracey. When I messed up before, we made it work.”
She shook her head. “No, Bernard, I was foolish enough to think that you still loved me, but you never really loved me if you could keep on hurting me the way you did.”
He slid his glasses back on and stepped closer. “I did love you, Tracey. Hell, I still love you.”
His eyes were big and pleading along with his voice. The same old tired routine he’d given her when they were married. It didn’t work anymore. She held up a hand in his face. “Don’t give me that.”
He pushed her hand aside. “But I know that I messed up. Multiple times.”
“Yes, you did. Do you know how much I wanted to believe you every time you cheated on me? How much I wanted to believe that you wouldn’t do that to me again? You knew how I felt about you, Bernard. You knew how insecure I was with our relationship, and you took advantage of that.”
“I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you.”
She pointed at him. “Don’t play with me now. Not when we’re finally over and you have no reason to lie to me anymore. You played on my insecurities, and I let you.”
Instead of arguing he got defensive. “But you did change, Tracey. I meant everything I said when we first got together. You were exciting.”
“No, I was the girl your mom didn’t like, and you were trying to step out and do something different. I came to my senses, and no matter what you or my dad think, I’m not going back.”
“I get it. You’re not coming back. But that doesn’t mean you have to do worse.”
She rolled her eyes. Now they were getting to the real point of all this. He didn’t want her, but he didn’t want her with Brian even more. The guy he never liked and never wanted her to work with. “Don’t even go there. I’m doing much better now.”
“But you’re with Brian?” he said as if that was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.
“What I’m doing with Brian is none of your business.”
“Fair enough, but, Tracey, no matter what you think, I still care about you. I don’t want to see you end up hurt.”
She raised a brow. “I think I’ve learned how to handle being hurt, Bernard.”
He glanced away and rubbed the back of his head. “Look, you know my brother delivers for the postal service, right?”
“And?”
“And he told me that Brian has some pregnant woman staying at his mom’s house and she’s got a kid there, too. A kid that looks a lot like him.”
Tracey’s stomach dropped. “Your brother doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“My mom is friends with his mom. She won’t say anything, but there is someone there. So I’m just trying to give you a heads-up.”
“Or you’re trying to be messy and cause problems.” Brian hadn’t called her, but he wouldn’t have moved on that quickly. He wasn’t like that. Was that the reason he’d been okay with her canceling on Tuesday? Because he had another situation going on? She wasn’t going to let Bernard make her paranoid.
“I know you won’t take me back.”
“No. I won’t.”
“But if you’re going to move on from me, then at least do better than me. Brian is about to put you in the same situation I did.”
***
Tracey didn’t hear from Brian on Thursday or Friday. When he didn’t call her before the wedding Saturday but instead let Natalie handle things, her anxiety went up a notch. Luckily, the wedding went smoothly. Having Debra work at the inn was proving to be more and more of a blessing every day. Tracey could finally split the duties on the day of the wedding and make sure the event went well without feeling as if she were neglecting the other guests.
She’d hoped to get a chance to talk with Brian. Not just about what he’d said to her, but about what Bernard had accused him of, but he hadn’t handled the delivery of the shrubs either. Instead, his delivery guy, Pat, had shown up with the shrubs she’d ordered for the wedding saying Brian had “family stuff” he needed to handle. Pat hadn’t quite met Tracey’s eyes when he’d said that. Tracey did not believe in borrowing trouble, but she was starting to worry there might be a tiny bit of truth behind what Bernard had thrown at her feet.
On Sunday morning, she got up, dressed and headed downstairs to make sure everything was ready for the brunch for the wedding guests. She was surprised to find Shirley in the kitchen. She usually didn’t come in on a Sunday after a wedding. She let her kitchen crew handle breakfast so she could attend church and then later rest.
“Why are you in here?”
Shirley shrugged as if it were no big deal. “My backup wasn’t feeling good yesterday, and I don’t need her in here coughing all over my brunch. So I came in.”
“Thanks for covering.”
Shirley raised a brow. “What are you doing in here? You usually let others handle Sunday, too.”
“I wanted to come check on things.”
Shirley glanced around the kitchen. They were alone for the moment, and she waved Tracey closer. “Have you talked to Brian?”
Tracey’s heart sank. Shirley’s voice was filled with Because you need to . “I haven’t. Why?”
Shirley sighed and shook her head. She went back to whisk ing eggs in a large ceramic bowl. “I was worried when he wasn’t here yesterday.”
“Pat said he had family stuff.”
Shirley gave Tracey a shrewd look. “That’s what I heard, but you can never be sure with gossip in this town.”
As much as Tracey didn’t want to ask, she needed to know. “What have you heard?”
Shirley held up a hand. “I don’t like to spread secondhand information.”
Tracey twisted her lip, irritated. “Then, don’t bring it up at all.” She turned to leave the kitchen.
“Where are you going?”
“To get firsthand information,” Tracey called over her shoulder.
She grabbed her purse and keys out of her office and got in the car. She wasn’t going to listen to rumors or get information from a third party. She’d lived with half-truths and rumors for years. If Brian did have some woman and kid at his house, then she needed to know sooner rather than later. She also needed to look him in the eye when she spoke to him and see his reaction. She trusted Brian but was wary enough to want to see if he would lie to her.
She was surprised to see him sitting on his front porch when she pulled up to his house. He had his phone in his hand and rubbed the back of his head with the other. Her cell phone rang just as she reached his house. He looked up from his phone, surprised to see her. She glanced at the Bluetooth in her car and saw his name. He’d been calling her.
He stood and waited while she parked behind his car and then walked toward him on the porch.
“I was just calling you,” he said. His eyes traced over her as if he hadn’t seen her in years and had to drink in every bit of her.
Tracey felt the same way. He looked good in the gray T-shirt that draped his shoulders and joggers that hugged his thighs just enough to make her want to wrap her arms around him. She’d missed him, and it had only been a few days. Guess she had her answer about wanting him to be the man in her life.
“I saw. Figured I didn’t need to answer since I was here.” She walked up the steps and faced him.
“What made you come by?” He didn’t sound upset or irritated that she’d popped in on him. She tried to believe that was a good sign. If he was hiding a woman and kid from her he wouldn’t be okay with her dropping in unannounced.
“I’ve got my answer. To the question you asked me the other day.”
His body stilled. “What’s your answer?”
“It depends on if you have some pregnant woman in there with a kid or not,” Tracey said quickly, her heart racing as she silently prayed that everyone was wrong. That he’d frown and give her a Have you lost your mind? look before asking where she had come up with something so foolish.
Brian’s shoulders slumped. “She’s not here. She’s at my mom’s house. And it’s not some woman but my ex-wife, Renee.” His tone was tired, frustrated, almost defeated.
Tracey wanted to run. To walk right off that porch and forget everything she’d had with Brian. That’s what common sense said she needed to do. To forget his drama and focus on her life. They’d made no promises, and she remembered how he said he’d always gone back to his ex. She should walk away, but the defeat in his voice reminded her that she was his friend. He’d opened up to her about his tumultuous relationship with Renee, and if she was there it wasn’t because Brian had invited her.
“Why is she here?”
Relief filled his eyes. Maybe he’d seen her initial thought of running and thought she would do just that. He took her hand and pulled her to the chairs on his porch. Tracey let him lead her and sat next to him on the two-seater.
“Her husband kicked her out. Their kid isn’t his, and he doesn’t believe the one she’s pregnant with is his either.”
“Whose is it?” She held her breath.
He shook his head. “It’s not mine.”
She let out a breath. “You sure?”
“Positive. She even admitted that. But the problem is she doesn’t know whose it is.”
“What? How?”
“Her husband thought it was mine, but our slipup was over a year ago. When friends told me she was pregnant, I knew it was close, but not close enough to be mine. When she showed up with this, I even insisted that we have a DNA test.” He met her eyes and said with assurance, “Tracey, believe me, this is not my kid.”
“Then, how doesn’t she know whose kid it is?”
“Because she went to a party, met up with a guy, hooked up, and she doesn’t have his name or number.”
“What about the people at the party? Can’t they help her find him?”
He shook his head. “That would be easy, but the week after she hooked up with someone else.”
“What?” Tracey put a hand to her chest. “Look, I don’t judge people for who they sleep with, but why not use protection?”
“She says she did, but it slipped up somewhere. Either way, it was during a break with her husband. Just like the breaks me and her used to have. This was what she did.” He glanced at her then looked away. “What we did.”
She placed her hand on his knee. “Brian, I don’t care what you and Renee used to do. I just want to know why she’s here now.”
“She says she has nowhere else to go. And my mom,” Brian said closing his eyes, sighed and shook his head, “says Renee is still family. She wants us to help her until she figures out what to do next.”
“Your mom is so damn nice.”
“Tell me about it,” Brian said sounding exhausted. “She never really liked Renee, but she also isn’t the type to be rude or mean. Renee called her crying when I stopped answering her calls. She showed up the other day, and I’ve been trying to figure this out. Renee is trying to track down the guy from the party. The other guy isn’t American and was just in town for a weekend.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “We may never find him.”
“Then what will she do?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Now she’s talking about staying in Peachtree Cove where she has a support system. Tracey, I know this is a lot. Much more than you want to deal with. I had no idea this would happen when I—”
She nodded. “When you asked me about us going from friends with benefits to, I don’t know, a monogamous relationship.”
“I understand if you don’t want to deal with this. Hell, I don’t want to deal with it.”
She didn’t want to deal with it. She didn’t want to see Renee, the woman who’d kept Brian on a string for years. The woman who’d broken his heart and sent him back to Peachtree Cove no longer believing in love or trusting relationships. She didn’t want to deal with Renee’s child any more than she wanted to deal with Bernard’s, and she didn’t have any responsibility toward either one.
She met his eyes, saw the sadness, frustration and tiny spark of hope in their depths. Something squeezed her heart. She didn’t want to give up Brian. When she saw him she’d had her answer: she wanted to be with him. Not to say that they’d get married or anything, but she didn’t want to be out there trying to find something with someone else that she already had with him. Just not under these circumstances.
“I think we should keep the friends and maybe drop the ben efits while you figure this out,” she said. “I thought I was ready, maybe I am ready, but I’m not ready for all of this.”
“I’m going to fix this.”
She nodded. “I know you will, and I hope that for you, Renee and that kid that you do get it all figured out. But I can’t do this right now. I’ll be honest, I’m falling hard for you, Brian. Have fallen hard, and that makes me want to help you with this, but I can’t. I promised myself to focus on me. I’m expanding the inn and starting my life again.”
Brian swallowed hard. She saw the argument in his eyes and braced herself for him to make her feel bad or try to play on her heartstrings and beg her to help him. Instead, he nodded slowly.
“That’s fair. But, Tracey, when I fix this, I’m coming back to you, and I want to hear the real answer you came to give me today.”