Chapter 1 #2
I’m not one to deal with my emotions, so this ask is already causing a feeling of uncertainty to roll through me.
I don’t want to have to think about what happened, or the nightmares that take over some nights.
That voice, the one that finds a way to slowly creep through the cracks of my unconsciousness to pull the strings of my doubt, anxiety, fear—-and sprinkles in some taunting about my sister’s soul for good measure.
My hairs raise on the back of my neck, and goosebumps stand to full attention as the memories of my nights overtake me.
Before I get lost in the moment, I feel a warm hand on mine, and like a lifeline, it grounds me.
Shaking my head, I blink, finding Pete’s soft brown eyes looking at mine with concern.
As a tear escapes, it hits me that I wasn’t even aware that Pete had moved.
“Thanks, Pete.” I stand up, conceding to his plan.
“Would you like me to call someone to have them drive you home?” The sincerity in his voice warms me.
“No, I’ll be ok.” I grin weakly.
“I’ll call and check up on you every now and then.” He gives my shoulder a reassuring pat as he walks me out of his office.
Once back in the main room, I see a handful of people hovering close to a cubicle.
Wiping my tears, I rush to my desk, ignoring their stares of sympathy.
I definitely don’t want to see that right now, considering how vulnerable I feel.
I’m thankful for these new cubicles, and I take a moment to collect myself as I sit down to find a notification from my coordinator Sasha, who sits across from me.
She’s sent me a direct message on Teams so as not to draw attention.
Sasha: Myssa you ok?
Me: Yeah, why?
Sasha: Pretty sure the whole office heard Pete. You could hear a pin drop out here.
Sighing, I look over at her and shrug.
Me: I’m taking some time off. I’ll send you a list of what needs to be done and forward you any upcoming meetings I’m going to miss.
Sasha: Ok, no worries, Myssa. I’ll take care of it.
Catching her eye, I mouth, “Thank you.”
She nods and gets back to work.
A few hours later, I send Sasha the outstanding tasks and close my laptop before standing up and grabbing my things. Sasha stands and walks over, wordlessly wrapping her arms around me. I smile, nod, and quietly head down the hall to the elevator.
After pressing the button for the elevator, I take my phone out to text Vix, letting her know what’s going on, and seeing if she wants to meet up for coffee. God knows I need my bestie right now. Plus, she had an interview at a club this morning, and I’m curious about how it went.
Vix and I have been best friends since high school. A rebel in her own right, she was her own party. She chased her dream of being a bartender as soon as she’d graduated. The end game was to eventually run a club—she wanted to learn everything from the ground up on her own.
Still in mid-text, I hear the elevator ding. The doors open, and I walk in, eyes focused on the message I’m finishing when I sense someone in the elevator.
As I look up, the amber eyes transfixed on me unleash a rippling surge of static that pierces every single nerve ending, causing me to pause.
Long, dark strands of hair kiss his brows and frame his face, and his strong bone structure gives him a mysterious aura.
I realize the small noise that just came from me was loud enough to hear, as a small quirk lifts his full lips.
Lips that invite you for a taste, and all I could think was, don’t mind if I do.
I can’t help but notice the dark ink that begins at the nape of his neck, trailing below his black dress shirt, and peeking back out at his wrist, before wrapping around a skull on his hand.
As I drink him in, the more I feel this undeniable pull from him, a small tug in my chest that attempts to reach out to him.
I force myself to blink, grounding myself back to earth from a high I didn’t know could exist.
Jesus, Myssa, get a grip.
“I—uh—” I stutter. “I’m sorry.”
Quickly averting my eyes, I take my spot in the back corner of the elevator.
My fingers vigorously tap my phone screen as I try to look like I wasn’t just eye fucking him ten seconds ago.
I finish up my text to Vix and hit send.
My eyes still glued to the phone, I mindlessly check my email to avoid looking up.
He’s out of your league, Myssa—hell, he’s out of your universe. My mother’s torments seep through, cementing the doubt.
“Why can’t you be more like your sister?”
“You know, if you would go on a diet, you wouldn’t have this problem—maybe then you could find a boyfriend, too.”
Fighting off the negativity ricocheting in my head, I take a quick glance, and I can’t help but notice this weird connection I feel to him. The temptation to touch him is an itch I want to scratch.
Of course, my mind goes into overdrive as I attempt to figure out what to do with myself.
It feels like an eternity since the doors had closed.
The elevator stops on the floor below, and a few men in suits, smelling like they’d bathed in cologne, walk in, they paying no mind to us as they continue discussing their conquests from the night before.
“Did you see that blonde last night?” the tall man says, leaning into the other guy.
“Dude, see her? I got her number,” he says, straitening his tie.
“Bullshit, bro, prove it,” the tall man says, playfully pushing the other.
I roll my eyes and continue to scroll Instagram, ignoring the two douche canoes in front of me. Trying to be nonchalant, I slowly try to peek over to the man who’d caught my attention, all the while giving myself a little pep talk. Keep cool, Myssa, a few more floors.
Instead, I start to spiral.
Holy fuck…
Don’t Look…
Is he looking?
No, don't look…
But if you don’t look, you won’t know…
Don’t do it.
Maybe a little side eye.
Jesus, he’s looking!
I quickly divert my eyes back down.
Real smooth, Myssa, you don’t look like a fucking creeper at all.
As the elevator dings and the door’s part, I want to run, but it seems like these guys don’t have a care in the world, and they’re taking their time leaving.
I stand there, rooted to the floor, waiting for him to walk off, too, so I can make a beeline to the revolving door at the end of the lobby.
But there’s a hesitation on his end, and he’s still standing there.
What is he waiting for?
“After you.” He holds the door for me, and for a split second, I feel the low rasp of his words down to the core of my being.
His eyes lock onto mine, and this sensation washes over me as a small grin appears on his face, and then I realize he’s still holding the door to the elevators. My eyes widen in panic.
“Oh, right, thank you.” I scurry out the door.
With my sights set on my target across the lobby, I strategize for a moment, looking past the front desk and seating area to put my plan in motion.
The plan is getting the fuck out of this lobby before I embarrass myself any more than I already have.
Pulling my headphones out of my purse, I stride toward the revolving door.
Just when the finish line is near and I’m almost home free, I hear my name yelled across the lobby, making me freeze on the spot.
“Myssa! You got a minute?”
I stare at the door, silently crying on the inside. Ugh, so close. Of course, Earl, the security guard behind the lobby desk, needs to speak with me. Today of all days.
What I would love to say is, “No Earl, I don’t have a minute, I don’t have a second, sort of freaking out over here.” But of course, I keep quiet and die a little on the inside, hoping I somehow don’t see him again.
Life is weird. For Nik, I’d go up to any guy with no problem, no matter what they looked like. It was never for me; it was for her.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m confident in who I am, but first impressions and all that. My workplace is ok with being comfortable in your working environment. So here I am, not in high heels or a pretty sundress, but Converse sneakers, blue faded jeans, and a Rob Zombie T-shirt.
I turn around to look at Earl, plastering my best smile on, and see the guy from the elevator at the desk, signing out by Earl.
Fucking…Perfect.
I sigh as I slowly make my way back to a smiling Earl. “What’s up, Earl?”
“We got the new photo security badges today. Pete said you were on your way down.”
“Oh, cool.” I take my old pass off my clip and give it to Earl as he passes me the new one with my photo. I look down, examining the not-so-impressive picture I took.
“Myssa, huh?”
My head snaps up as the guy from the elevator interrupts. His gaze meets mine and there goes the fluttering in my stomach again. Someone really needs to check the temperature in this place.
Why is it so hot?
“Yeah,” I say, quietly lifting my shirt a little to stifle the heat.
“That’s a very interesting name.” The corner of his mouth tilts up.
“Yeah, well, my parents were a little delusional that day. What can I say?” I shrug with a nervous laugh.
Looking back at Earl, I tap my ID twice on the desk. “Thanks for this. I’ll see ya later, Earl. I won’t be back for a few weeks, so have fun on your vacation.”
“You too, Myssa.”
“Have a good day,” I manage to squeak out as I take one last look at the mysterious man who’s still watching me with that damn smirk on his face.
Headphones in my hands, I place them into my ears and blast my playlist. “BBB” from How to Destroy Angels plays, drowning out any more distractions as I walk out the revolving door.
I take a deep breath, trying to get my mind back to reality.
There’s no way in hell a guy like that would have an interest in a girl like—well, me. I can’t help but giggle to myself at my awkwardness. My phone buzzes, and I’m happy for the distraction. It’s Vix agreeing to meet up at the coffee house a few blocks from my work.
Hopefully, she has some good news.