Chapter 7 #2
“Hey, yourself. This place is fucking wicked!” I exclaim as I drink in all the décor.
“I told you that you’d like it. Far cry from the places Nik would drag you to.”
The mention of Nik’s name sends a slight twinge of uneasiness to my heart. The pain is still so fresh.
“Like is an understatement.” I ignore the dig at Nik’s taste.
This wasn’t like those typical bars, this was not at all the kind of scene that Nik would ever step foot in, but this place, these people. This was all me. The anxiety I was feeling dissipates.
The strange feeling deep within me tugs again, forcing me to place my hand on my abdomen, as if that will make it go away.
I don’t know quite how to describe it. It feels like a lure of something deeper within me.
It’s almost erotic, a sensual pleasure that feels like it’s been buried inside, finally bursting free.
It feels like home.
“You should get your ass out on that dance floor, Myssa!” Vix nods towards it.
“What? By myself? Are you insane?” I laugh nervously, still vibrating from the sensation flowing through my veins.
“No, and I think your dance partner has arrived.” She points behind me.
Just then, Ricky, the bartender from Vix’s old job, taps me on the shoulder.
“Ricky, hi!” I squeal, giving him a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, same as you. Checking out the scenery.” He shoots a glare at Vix and mouths, “Traitor.”
She laughs and shrugs as he continues. “Mark had to work late, and Vix said you were coming up here. I thought I'd be your plus one.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Mark had to work, but yay for me! I’d be happy to have you as my plus one.” I wrap my arm around his and lean my head on his shoulder.
“The usual, you two?”
We both nod.
Vix turns around to Ricky, snapping her fingers as if remembering something. “Knox told me to tell you drinks are on the house tonight for the both of you.
As Vix turns back around and starts to grab the bourbon off the bottom shelf, Ricky immediately protests.
“Um, hello, if this is free, we will take top shelf, please.”
Vix turns to glare at Ricky and continues to get the original bourbon before pouring it into the glass.
Ricky stands there, dumbfounded, and pouts as Vix sets our drinks on the bar.
“Can’t blame a man for trying.” Ricky shrugs, downing his bourbon in one gulp, and then he taps the bar.
Vix just laughs and pours him another.
I look devilishly at Vix, never breaking eye contact as I wrap my lips on the straw in my Jack and Coke, and in three long pulls, I empty the glass.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Ricky says, smacking the bar and startling me.
I bat my eyelashes at Vix for another, and she just scoffs at me before taking my empty glass to refill.
Ricky leans toward Vix. “I guess I can forgive you for leaving me, Vix. This place is perfect compared to the shithole we used to work at.”
“We?” I ask, as Vix sets our drinks in front of us. “Did you finally get sick of them skimming off the top and find yourself a new job?”
“Yep,” he says proudly.
“Where? When?” I ask.
“When Vix left, so did I. I got a gig at this upscale, posh place downtown. It’s boring as hell, but the tips are good. But this,” he waves a hand around dramatically, “this is what dreams like ours are made of. I'm a jealous bitch.”
“So,” I say, turning to Ricky, “when am I going to get an invitation to the wedding?”
Ricky just gives me a shit-eating grin.
“That’s actually the plan for tomorrow. I’m taking Mark out back to our first date. I plan on proposing after.”
I squee in delight, excited that they’re finally taking the next step in their relationship. Ricky and Mark have been together for the better part of seven years. Both at one point worked where Vix at her old job, and that’s where we met them. We hit it off and have been friends ever since.
“Oh, Ricky, you know he’s going to say yes.
“I hope so.”
Ricky scoffs playfully and grabs my hand. “Lets talk later. I love this song. Wanna dance?”
I slide off the stool. “Let’s go.”
“Wrong” by Max, Lil Uzi Vert plays as we move to the dance floor. The beat of the music pulsates through my body. Industrial synths and rhythmic growls of haunting melodies breathe a different life into me. One I haven’t felt in months.
I close my eyes and sway back and forth, letting the notes take me away. Ricky mirrors my movement in front of me.
In this moment, nothing else exists, and the overwhelming sensation of the music becomes intoxicating. I turn around to hold on to the fence in front of me, and the tempo increases with the next song.
It seems like minutes, but a few hours have passed as we danced, and my hair is soaked with sweat. I’ve never felt as free as I do at this moment. I never want to stop—this is the escape I’ve so desperately needed. The shift in melody occurs again; this time slower and more haunting.
Ricky leans in by my ear. “I’ll be back, gonna get a drink.”
I nod in acknowledgement. With my eyes still closed, I continue to sway, enjoying the melody as it heightens my senses and erases all thoughts, letting me be free in the moment.
Just as the calm washes over me, the wrenching within my soul becomes stronger than ever before.
The sensation, although frightening, feels so natural.
Exhausted from fighting it over the past few weeks, I let it override my logic.
The seduction to jump off of the metaphorical bridge I’ve teetered on since Nik’s death wins, and I surrender the balance and just let go.
Subconsciously, I watch my physical being fall away, still gripping the fence on the dance floor. I pass through a whirlwind of darkness and traces of light, which act as if they pass through me.
The world comes back into focus, and dread overrides my body.
I’m met by a haunting view as the bitter taste of ash falls on my lips.
Large flakes fall from a cloudless sky like snow.
A red-hued moon, full and menacing, lightens the atmosphere of the worn-down abandoned buildings that surround me.
Trepidation sets in as I try to understand what’s going on.
Where the fuck am I?
A small giggle echoes nearby, and treading carefully, I inch my way towards the sound.
My curiosity for answers overrides the logical part of my brain that’s telling me to run.
Peering through the missing side of the wall, I see a small girl facing away from me.
She looks almost familiar, but I can’t figure out from where.
Her long crimson hair shows hints of silver throughout. Her soft facial features and smile are so innocent in nature. But it’s her eyes that captivate me, those violet eyes—the same ones that had pierced through me in the field back when I was stuck in traffic.
“It’s you,” I stumble out.
“Hi, Myssa.” Her greeting is barely a whisper.
“You know who I am?” I mirror her volume, not masking my surprise.
“Of course. We’ve been waiting for you to come.” Her eyes are full of hope, which only adds more confusion to this encounter.
My heart skips a beat, and my palms dampen with sweat. “Who’s we?”
She slowly looks around, side to side, as if to make sure no one else is around—as if this is a secret not meant to be heard.
“The rebellion,” she whispers.
Her confession has me standing there, breathless. I’m frozen in disbelief that this is even real.
Is it, though?
Is this my mind finally giving in to months of sleepless nights and endless questions, or is this my acceptance? Overcome by fatigue, my shoulders drop, waving the imaginary white flag. Delusion or not, I don’t have it in me to fight it anymore.
“I’m Lily.” Her childlike introduction has me looking back in her direction.
“I’m sorry, the rebellion?” I stutter out, looking to grasp onto some sort of reasoning.
“Yes, the souls that have taken refuge from Jasper,” she explains.
That name coming from her lips instantly makes the hairs on the back of my neck raise. With trembling hands, I frantically look around, waiting to finally see the man who has haunted my subconscious for the last six months.
When I finally look back at her again, I see that the sadness in her eyes is all too genuine as she makes her next confession. “We know about your sister.”
My chest tightens, and I find myself stumbling back, fighting between logic and my gut instinct. On one hand, this could be another one of Jasper’s tricks. Another one of his fucking mind games. But I can’t get past everything she’s told me so far.
I need answers, and who knows how long I have before my mind shifts and I’m no longer here. This is the closest I’ve gotten to some sort of answer to the endless questions that have been festering for months. My gut tells me she’s telling the truth, and that she’s someone I can trust.
“Do you know where she is?” I ask, not bothering to hide the desperation in my voice.
“We’ve been told Jasper has her, her soul, anyway,” she admits.
Her truth overwhelms me. He is real? And he truly has her?
The guilt bleeds through me, and my breaths become sporadic.
It’s my fault she died. I should have been there.
It should have been me, not Nik. I hear Lily’s pleas for me to stay, but the mixed emotions of guilt and fear are too much.
Her voice drifts away as I’m jerked once again through the darkness.
My surroundings morph around me, and I’m forced back to the reality of the dance floor. I drop to my knees, catching my breath.
The sense of someone watching me makes me shift, but focusing seems futile as dizziness still engulfs me. Faces blur, but the urge to find the source draws me to look up at the balcony. But it’s empty.
Finding my bearings, I try to stand back up. Ricky, already climbing the steps, puts his arm under mine to help me stand completely. I tremble, and I can tell Ricky feels my instability.
“Myssa, are you ok?”
"Yeah, I think so. I’m not sure what just happened.” My feet are unsteady, but I manage to stand on my own..
“Let's get you to the bar and get you a drink. I think you’ve been up here too long.” He takes my hand, and I nod.