Chapter 26
Myssa
The brightness of the morning makes me groan, and I lay still for a moment, thinking about last night.
I try to figure out how I’m going to avoid Zayne for the day, but my eyes open wide when I realize I’m not alone.
Zayne’s arm is still wrapped around me, and then it comes rushing back: The nightmare I’d had about Nik, and Zayne waking me up, and his apology.
Why does he have to be so confusing? Hot as sin and working me into a frenzy, only to push me away, but then apologize? Where does that put us? I close my eyes, enjoying the warmth and safety I feel being this close to him.
Just a friend. He's just a friend, Myssa. He's made it clear it can be nothing more, and my heart shatters all over again. The pieces of my armor I’d meticulously put back together, fall apart all over again. The insecure voices creep back up to the surface, to remind me how unworthy I am. You're not good enough for love, remember? You’ve been told that your whole life—you were the accident that wasn’t meant to be.
Nik was the only one who truly loved me.
Our parents may have had me first, but I ended up being the disappointment, the fuck-up they couldn’t fix.
My mother’s constant berating and abuse was never believed by my largely absent father, who stayed away as much as he could, working two jobs.
When Nik was born, my mother practically worshiped her. Nicole was everything, the model child.
Nicole, you look so beautiful this morning.
Nicole can get any man she desires—just look at her.
God, you’d think I’d be use to rejection after how much I’ve gone through.
It’s why I have been so guarded, with no boyfriend in sight.
I never thought love was meant to be for me.
But, for a brief moment, I let the myself believe maybe this time was different.
That Zayne was the one, it didn’t matter this was so new.
His touches, his urges, the way he knew how to worship my body said otherwise, God, the worlds stopped.
It was the purest most raw feeling I’ve ever had.
He gave that to me; he stripped my armor off for that brief moment.
But when the reality of our world came to, he lit me on fire at the stake with so few words.
The air had been sucked out of my lungs as I watched myself burn from the rejection.
Taking a deep breath, I wipe the tears already flowing down my face.
This is going to be so complicated, but like always, I will take the friendship, because that seems to be all I’m worth.
To be loved, but never for anyone to be in love with me.
Maybe I was cursed when I was born. Maybe that’s why I’m in this mess.
Caught between two worlds that I don’t even know how to navigate.
I need to focus; this is not about me, this is about saving Nik from Jasper and helping defeat that monster. His past, no matter how sad, doesn’t give him a pass on what he is doing now.
I slowly slip from under his hold, grabbing my phone, and make my way to the bathroom to text Vix, hoping she’s up.
Me: Hey, you up?
She immediately answers.
Vix: yeah are we gonna talk about what happened last night? I’ve been worried about you.
Me: Yeah, coffee in 30?
Vix: Sounds good. I’ll see you then.
I brush my teeth and hair and throw on some deodorant. After tossing my hair in a ponytail, I slowly open the door to see if Zayne is still here.
My heart flutters a little when I see him still in his clothes from last night. God, he’s so beautiful. His features are softened, so innocent, not the same as the man who’d ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
I shake my head again. I really need to stop. Yes, it was the most erotic and the most pleasurable experience of my life, but no biggie, right? It’s not like I want to do it over and over again.
I tiptoe my way to the dresser, grab some clothes, and go back into the bathroom to change. Then, putting my phone in my back pocket, I slip past my bed and head to the foyer. After slipping on my shoes, I grab my sunglasses, keys and phone and walk out the door.
As I enter the coffee shop, I look around and find Vix looking very hungover with her dark sunglasses. Her hair is in two ponytails, and she’s wearing black pajama pants and a tank top, complete with furry slippers while sipping on her coffee.
I chuckle at the no fucks given. My Vix and her wardrobe. I step forward in line, tapping my toe impatiently. I have so much to tell her. Finally, after giving my order, I make my way over to Vix and drop my phone and keys off on the table. She pulls her sunglasses down a little while studying me.
“Before you start in on me, let me grab my coffee,” I say.
She slides her sunglasses back up. “Who am I to judge anyone?”
She grins, sipping her coffee again. I roll my eyes at her as the barista hands me my drink.
I grab my coffee and take a sip, stalling for a moment before I go and sit with Vix, and I can feel her gaze boring a hole in me behind those sunglasses.
I slide into the seat across from her, not making eye contact.
She starts to tap her fingernail against the table in an “I’m waiting” motion.
I sigh loudly, picking at the sticker on my cup.
“Well. the plan sort a worked, I guess.” I look at her intently as she realizes what I’m talking about.
“Sort a?” She frowns. She takes off her sunglasses, wincing at the brightness of the coffee shop.
“Yeah, so I went to dance after we knew he was watching on the camera, and next thing I knew, he was behind me.”
Vix’s eyebrow shoots up. “And?”
“I don’t know what happened, maybe it was the music, maybe it was our connection, but we shifted,” I say quietly.
“To Aetheriem?” she counters.
“Yeah, and then…” I pause, remembering the feel of his lips on mine.
“Then?” she hisses back impatiently.
“He kissed me.” I shift in my chair as the thoughts of his hands roaming my body come to the forefront.
“Sounds like a success to me.” Her grin is devious as she takes another sip of her coffee.
“I can’t even begin to describe how it felt. God, it was…” the memory is so clear—his breaths, his need for me, his demand…
“Earth to Myssa?” She snaps her fingers in my face.
“It was…” she asks, folding her arms against her chest. “Everything I ever thought a real connection should feel like: that chemistry, the spark—whatever you want to call it — doesn’t put it into perspective.”
She sits up and leans her elbow on the table, giving me her full attention as I continue.
“I swear I felt his heartbeat as if it were my own. A moment, Vix, one fucking moment from a guy I barely met, has consumed me. I knew where we were, but I didn’t fucking care.
I didn’t care if Jasper showed up. I didn’t care if I was taken in that moment.
Nothing else mattered other than feeling Zayne.
Jesus, who the fuck falls for someone this fast? ” I huff, pouring out my confession.
“Sounds like a good time, so what happened that made you run out of there?” she asks.
The high from the memory crashes down around me as the reality of the aftermath sets in. Knowing she will not let up about this, I start to confess to what happened.
“When we switched back here, we were still swaying to the music like we were when we shifted,” I say softly.
Picking at her muffin, she just casually says, “That’s excepted—your souls shift to Aetheriem, not your physical bodies.”
I stare at her pointedly. Realizing what she’d said, a brief look of panic flits across her features before settling back to her normal resting bitch face.
“How do you know that?” I whisper, leaning over the table toward her.
“Knox told me.” She shrugs, playing it off like it’s no big deal.
Keeping this new information tucked away, I make a mental note to ask what else Knox has told her. We will definitely be circling back to that. For now, I reluctantly continue.
“He backed away from me, his face full of regret, like he didn’t mean for it to go that far.” Pausing for a moment, I remember the look in his eyes, and the shattered parts of me that fell to the floor as I walked away. I lean back in my chair, and my shoulders sag in defeat.
“I don’t know. I mean, I really thought it meant something. You know me, Vix, I’m not sticking around for the rejection, so I cut him off before he could finish his sentence. That’s when you saw me,” I go back to picking the sticker on my coffee.
Her hand covers mine, and I look up at her.
“What a dick,” she says.
“Yeah, but…” I hesitate.
“But? But what?” she says.
“Last night, while I was sleeping, he came into my room. I’d had a nightmare about Nik, and he woke me up.
I was wound up from the dream, afraid that maybe the moment would provide an opportunity for Jasper to show his face.
I was too exhausted from earlier to deal with that, so I asked Zayne to stay.
And he did. He laid on the bed, holding me till I went back to sleep.
” I’m more confused by every word I mutter.
She pulls back and studies me with a frown. Shaking her head, she sits there for a moment. “Wait, what?” she finally asks.
“Right, like what the hell?” I say, just as confused by this whole situation. I don’t get it, the mixed signals are baffling. “Maybe he just wants to be friends? Arghhhh”, I growl in frustration, putting my hands over my face as I lean on the table.
“Vix, it was so good.” Brushing my fingers across my lips at the memory, I look around, making sure no one is paying attention to what I’m saying. Dramatically, I grab her arm, and she just looks at me.
“He had me pinned up against a wall, and everything about his body language screamed more than friends, but maybe that’s all we can be.” My shoulders droop as I let go of her and drop my head in my arms.
She leans forward, giving me a soothing pat on my arm. I look back up at her, and she just smiles. She’s right, she is not the greatest at reassurances.
“Do you think that’s all he wants?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I say, defeated.
“Now I’m living with him until this whole Jasper thing is taken care of. It's just really fucked up. I snuck out this morning while he was still sleeping… in my bed,” I stress, still in disbelief.
“Look, now you know the truth about who you are, who they are, and the crazy that’s going on in that other realm. Maybe right now, it’s for the best,” she sympathizes.
And as much as I want to protest, I know she’s right. I need to free my sister from Jasper. The question is, how?
“Yeah, I suppose you're right,” I pout.
Just then, Vix quirks a smile and says, “Don’t look, but your knight in shining armor just walked in.”
I freeze, refusing to let my eyes search the coffee shop for him.
“Oh God, what’s he doing?” I ask nervously.
“He’s in line for coffee, but he’s looking around, and…he just found us.” She waves at him, not a care in the world, meanwhile I can feel the sweat running down my chest from the panic. I’m not ready to face him yet.
I snatch her hand. “What are you doing?”
“Giving you two a moment to have the conversation that needs to happen.”
A few minutes go by, and afraid to move, I just stare at her, tracking her eye movement as she watches him. It doesn’t take long before my stomach begins to flutter, and I sense him behind me, my body tenses with the anticipation.
“Hello, Zayne,” Vix says in her raspy, judgmental tone.
“Hey, Vix,” he says. “This seat taken?” He points at what I can only imagine is the chair to the left of me.
“No, not at all.” As he sits, Vix starts to collect her things.
“Well, kids, as much as I’d like to stay and watch the awkwardness play out, I have things to do,”
I shoot her a dirty look, and she looks at me, completely unfazed. “See you two tonight.” Before I can say anything back, she turns, walking away.
I watch her walk out and take a deep breath, letting it out before I can even face him. I know the minute I look into those hazel eyes, I will forget my name.
After a minute passes by in awkward silence, I finally turn to look at him.
“Hi,” he says with a soft smile.
“Hi,” I reply with a small frown.
A single word and the look in his eyes is all it takes—everyone around us disappears, and all I see is him.
“You left?” he said quietly.
“I left.”
“Myssa, I…” but before he can continue, I interrupt.
“Zayne. you don’t owe me anything, really. We got caught up in a moment, right? No big deal, it’s all good.” I rush to look at anything but him.
“You’re not going to let me talk, are you?”
Having nothing to say, I continue to keep my eyes locked onto the table, expressionless.
“Hey, Myssa, please look at me.” He slides his hand towards mine, but I quickly move it and grab my coffee.
Reluctantly, I look back at him. I know what he’s going to say. I’ve heard it so many times throughout my whole life. The hollowness rises inside me, and I push it down. My mental armor remains in place to take the hit.
“I like you, I really do, but…”
He must see it in my eyes, because he quickly says, “This is such a frustrating situation.”
“Tell me about it,” I mumble, taking a sip of my coffee.
“My focus has to be on what’s happening in Aetheriem, and there’s just too much at stake at this moment.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that I don’t regret a single fucking moment of last night, not even for a second.
But I can’t take it any further than that.
It's just too risky right now,” he pleads.
I take a moment to really hear what he’s saying, and I know he’s right. Jasper could use this, and just make this more complicated, especially since we have no idea what is going on. I need to focus on Nik, and how to get her away from him. But one thing he did say I can hold on to is, “right now”.
That means there could be a right time after all this.
And for now, that will be enough.
“I agree. Friends, then?” I say, smiling while holding out my hand and awaiting his handshake.
He rolls his eyes at me while taking my hand. “You know, technically, we slept together last night, and I think we are past the hand shaking stage of our friendship.”
I shrug.
“Now,” I say, taking a sip of my coffee. “How the fuck do we defeat this bastard?”