Chapter Thirty-Three
thirty-three
Lanie
Ridley was so close Lanie had to tip her head back to see into his eyes. Warmth radiated from him as her breasts grazed his chest, setting off sparks and igniting the first firework in a cascade in her belly.
He slid his hands across her shoulders but then stopped. Unlike the other times he’d done that, he braced her there, each finger pressing like individual brands, burning into her skin. He scanned her face, before giving a resigned sigh as if relenting. It wasn’t a question of stopping now, it seemed to say, just the matter of who would move first.
“Can I?” Lanie reached up tentatively, taking his glasses off his face and placing them on a nearby table. “Can you see?”
He nodded. “As long as you stay close.”
She’d rarely seen him without his glasses. His eyes were smaller, darker and more intense. His eyebrows arched naturally, less the censorious judgment she’d assumed than his normal expression. He really is a Vulcan.
The thought amused her as she slid her fingers along the slope of his nose, stopping where the glasses made semipermanent divots on the sides. “You’re a real stud, anyone ever tell you that?”
He shook his head. “May I?” he whispered.
Lanie nodded. He replicated her motion, pulling the elastic out of her hair before fluffing out the voluminous curls. Her barely tame hair rebelled fully with his encouragement, creating a wild halo.
“And you’re stunning,” he replied.
“Shaggy.” She ran a hand over her hair. It bounced back immediately.
He remained paused in her threshold. “Are we doing this?”
Lanie was afraid to reveal how truly eager she was. She feared her desire might frighten Ridley off as it had all the previous men in her life. But then she shook off the flash of Jonah’s face, before it could gain further purchase in her mind, nodding instead.
Lanie’s hand moved to Ridley’s neck, pulling his mouth down onto hers. She rarely initiated kisses, finding it too awkward and vulnerable a position to tolerate. But she had with Ridley, repeatedly now, she realized, because he’d made her feel that empowered, that safe, like it was both her decision and natural for her to take the lead. Her lips slipped over his, her tongue caressing the seam, coaxing them apart. Ridley relaxed, welcoming her mouth, melting into her and easing into their kiss. Slowly, his arm encircled her waist, drawing her closer as his hand cupped her jaw, fitting her lips more securely to his. And when his tongue finally dipped into her mouth, she sighed with relief.
Soon, Ridley took control, his kiss growing more fervent, stoking the fire igniting in her belly, heating her. He released her jaw to possessively slide a hand under her hair and hold the nape of her neck. Lanie inhaled a startled breath as he pulled her flush against him, revealing the erection growing between them. Grasping his roaming hand, she slid it from the small of her back onto her ass, and Ridley groaned in approval, tightening his grip.
“You really want to do this?” he asked breathlessly, when his mouth left hers to hover right above her ear. “You’re sure?”
Lanie nodded vigorously as he ran his tongue along the column of her neck. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more. “Why do you keep asking? Are you?”
He gripped the ass cheek she’d offered him, squeezing, nearly pulling her off her feet, letting her feel every hard inch of him. “Hell yes,” he replied. “I just want you to be sure.”
“I am.”
Ridley entered her room then, backing her into one of the beds inside. He leaned in, kissing her hard again, as he rested a knee on the bed behind her to ease her back onto it. He held her neck, settling his forehead against hers for a moment, their noses touching. But when she wrapped her leg around his calf, clinging to him, they fell onto the bed together awkwardly, laughing into each other’s mouths.
Ridley’s body covered hers until he pulled back slightly, holding himself up by the elbows to look into her face. He smiled. It was a big one, possibly the biggest she’d ever seen him wear. A small depression more than a true dimple revealed itself in his left cheek. She reached to touch it.
“What?”
“How do you not know how cute you are?” She tapped the dimple.
His eyebrows rose. “Not handsome?”
“Not with that.” She slid the finger from that dimple to caress his bottom lip. He bit the tip of her finger playfully, before sucking it into his mouth. “Is that why you don’t smile a lot? Because then people would know how cute you were and wouldn’t take you seriously?”
He snorted, shifting his body to more fully cover hers, settling between her legs. “I don’t smile a lot?”
Lanie clenched, trying not to squirm under him. It was exquisitely torturous; she wasn’t sure she could bear added friction. She shook her head. How can he not know that?
“Well, I guess...” He paused. She wasn’t sure he’d continue, the smile slipping from his face back into its normal hiding place. “There hasn’t been much in my life to smile about lately.”
The somber response jarred Lanie. It reminded her why they were there, headed to the States and what they were doing. In her admittedly limited experience, having sex with a guy wasn’t a great way to get him to stick around. In fact, quite the opposite—and that probably went double for a widowed father still grieving his late wife. Ridley now seemed as vulnerable as she felt and a sliver of doubt edged in.
Was she about to ruin something precious?
“Until you. And this, between us,” he finished.
At those words, Lanie’s train of thought derailed. All her doubts vanished as Ridley brought his forearms up to bracket her head, dipping his face to kiss her again. He lapped at her lips, his tongue intertwining with hers. She drowned in the depths of his kiss, losing her bearings, only knowing that there was too much clothing between them. She reached for his T-shirt, preparing to pull it off when he caught her hands.
“Uh-uh. I told you what I wanted,” he said into her lips.
“What?” She’d already forgotten.
“I. Want. To. See. You. Now.” He kissed her eyelids, nose, cheeks and mouth to punctuate each word. “It’s only fair.”
“Fair?” Lanie’s stomach dropped. She’d thought he was being facetious. “You don’t want to...to...?”
“Oh, I do wanna fuck you,” he clarified.
Lanie startled at the frank tone, filthy statement and dead serious expression.
“ Very badly, in fact.” His lips curled into a wicked smile. “And I mean to.”
Lanie’s mouth dropped open at his directness, shuddering at the promises in it. “But?”
“But I don’t see any condoms, do you?”
She shook her head, unable to form sentences. She never carried them. For her, sex was rarely spur-of-the-moment. And she wasn’t even on the Pill.
As he nudged her chin up with his nose, sprinkling kisses along her clavicle, Lanie wondered at the chance of finding Plan B in the hotel convenience store. Unlikely , she groaned. Ridley began to grind his hips against her, licking at the hollow of her throat, and for a brief moment, she seriously considered throwing caution to the wind.
“So then, penetrative sex is out, unfortunately,” Ridley said, bringing her back down to earth, thankfully.
Despite what was happening, Ridley was his usual pragmatic self. Even as his hands roamed her body, rubbing and squeezing until she wanted to cry out, he remained entirely logical. It was the perfect reminder that it was the real Ridley on top of her and not some fantasy version she’d conjured.
She nearly laughed. Take that, Narcisa!
“But we can still enjoy ourselves and each other. Can’t we?” As he said this, he slipped his hands up under her T-shirt to cup her breasts.
She inhaled jerkily.
“God, these are magnificent. Has anyone ever told you that?” He squeezed her breasts, gliding his thumbs over the thin lace covering her nipples until they tingled, pebbling against his fingertips. “Moreover, you are magnificent. And I want to see you, all of you. Will you let me watch you?”
As he said this, it made the same amount of sense it had the first time. “Watch me?” Was that his kink? And why did it suddenly sound so oddly exciting?
His voice was muffled as he dipped his hot mouth to cover her breast over her T-shirt. She gasped as he nipped at her through the fabric, creating a wet spot. Just like that , she ached to cry out as the small bites and the enthusiastic kneading with his large palms threatened to do her in. She squirmed beneath him, a small moan escaping her mouth as the intensity built.
“Yes, pleasure yourself.” Ridley eased back, breaking their embrace, rising to his knees. “I want to watch, to see the way you come.”
She slid a hand down her own body into her shorts in frustration. “You can help me with that!” she whined in protest, but he shook his head.
“No,” he said with surprising adamancy. “Not by touching you. I need you to touch yourself. I’m a scientist, observation is crucial.”
Only Ridley could say something like that with a straight face.
“I-In front of you?” Lanie faltered. She dragged herself up from her elbows into a sitting position. She didn’t even like to touch herself alone in the dark, let alone with the lights on and someone watching.
“Lanie, come here.” He crooked a finger at her, voice husky with desire.
After a moment, she crawled across the bed to him obediently. He cupped her face between his palms.
“Want to know a secret?” He brushed his lips lightly across her lips and nose as she nodded.
“I’m not upset that you saw me masturbating.” He whispered the words along her jawline, moving his mouth down her neck and across her shoulder, feathering her with persuasive kisses. “Because I was thinking about you while I was doing it.”
Lanie’s stomach flipped. She was glad to be already sitting on her heels or she would have dropped.
“Your body is so damn beautiful to me.” He whispered the words against her throat. She raised her arms, helping him bring her shirt over her head like his voice and delicate kisses were casting a spell, entrancing her. “I got so hard thinking about it. Thinking about you.”
With gentle hands, he slid her bra straps off her shoulders before unhooking her bra completely. Then he kissed a trail down her breasts to her peaked nipples, giving them each a swipe of his tongue before continuing down to her soft belly. She sat back so he could access the waist of her shorts and encourage them and her panties over her hips and down her legs. Ridley skimmed accompanying light kisses along her hips and thighs as he tugged them off completely.
“I’ve wanted to touch you so badly.”
He was so close to where she wanted him that Lanie held her breath in anticipation. But then Ridley sat back on his heels instead of burying his face between her legs and she could have cried. He sat transfixed, until Lanie had to fight the urge to cover herself.
“I want you to know, it’s not only your body that I find incredible. I find your mind fascinating too.”
His eyes remained focused on her as he spoke and Lanie watched the way his lustful gaze trailed over her body. Her face burned at the sight because it was so equally adoring.
“You know, they say the brain is the most important sex organ.” Ridley reached for the lamp on the bedside table and dimmed it to a soft haze. A small concession, she knew. Then he sat back, his eyes returning to devouring her whole. “So, I’d like to see how your mind works. What gives you pleasure... so I can replicate it.”
With a shiver, Lanie considered his words. She was astonished to realize the idea of an audience of one, if that one was Ridley, did hold a certain sensual appeal for her.
“I’ve never done anything like this before...” she admitted, embarrassed by her naivete. Closing her eyes, Lanie marshaled her nerves. “Okay.”
“Don’t worry,” Ridley said. “I’ll be right here. I just won’t touch you.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
He chuckled.
Scooting to the headboard, Lanie took a breath. Then slowly, she drew a hand down her body. Her breathing sped up as she moved, her heart thumping a staccato of fear as the pads of her fingers skimmed her skin. However, the sensate pleasure of her hands gliding along the softness of her own body gave her the right amount of encouragement and confidence to continue. Lanie tried not to think of Ridley’s eyes, instead focusing inward. Concentrating on her pleasure alone. She brought a hand back up to fondle her breasts, tweaking them until the sharp sting made her let out a faint moan. At the sound, to her delight, she opened her eyes and found something igniting in Ridley also. A flex and jump in the muscle at his jaw revealed how valiantly he fought the urge to join her. And the fact that he wouldn’t—even though she desperately wanted him to—made her skin prickle. The idea that no matter what she did he would keep stubbornly away enticed as much as it frustrated. She watched him watching her circle her areola lightly, teasing them both with her fingers, until goose bumps rose across her skin.
He was spellbound.
Lanie let her other hand slide unhurriedly lower, over the curve of her stomach, past her pelvis and toward her thighs, building the anticipation for them both. She licked her lips before letting her hand slide between her legs and Ridley groaned at the sight, reaching for his own groin. Her body bucked at her own touch, unprepared for how sensitive and wet she already was. She played with herself, reveling in the feel of delicate fingertips slipping past her plump, slickened lips.
“Jesus.” Ridley let out a low moan. “Lanie, look at me.”
Lanie’s eyes opened, seeking him out, unaware of when she’d closed them. She caressed her mound playfully as Ridley bit his lips, eyes hooded and intent on the motion of her fingers. His hand slipped into his own shorts, attending to the straining bulge there with languid movements, mirroring hers.
“I’ve wanted you, wanted this ,” Ridley admitted in a husky whisper as she moved.
The sight of him touching himself too made her whole body flush with a fiery arousal. “What?” she panted. “To watch me get myself off?”
His grin was feral. “No, to get to be here when you got yourself off.” His eyes roamed her naked body with hunger, as palpable as a caress. “Thank you,” he groaned, still stroking himself.
She moaned, sliding her damp fingers through her folds, back and forth until her hips rocked involuntarily. Keening loudly, she zeroed in on the web of nerves there at her center and moved faster. All over, beads of sweat began to prickle her skin.
“I bet...you’re so wet...” Ridley choked out, moving his hand faster and faster over his shaft, peeking out over the top of his shorts, while keeping his eyes fixed on her. His words were a strangled whisper. Waves of need coursed through Lanie, watching, making her own hand quicken. “And tight...a perfect fit for me.”
The sound of Ridley’s deepening voice, its barely restrained lust made her skin burn hotter, hot enough to singe. She hissed, adding another finger, her third, dipping them all into her canal, hooking them to hit her G-spot and then pulling out at a wildly erratic pace, chasing her orgasm.
“I wish I could be inside you right now—”
“Ridley!” She cried out his name. “Ridley,” she pleaded again. “J-just. Shut. Up!”
He grinned, sealing his mouth shut as Lanie held his gaze. His pupils were dilated to jet-black pools in the dim light and his breathing was as labored as her own. Soon, trying to say more became difficult, whimpering as their movements and moans resounded in the silence.
“Touch me,” she begged at last. With Ridley so close, it was sublimely torturous, like they were almost touching but not. And she wanted him so badly that thinking about it sent more ripples of pleasure flowing through her. “Please.”
He shook his head.
Opening her mouth again, only for another strangled sob of “please” to escape as her climax approached, the throbbing intensified into a full bloom of ecstasy. Soon, her one hand wasn’t enough, since Ridley still wouldn’t touch her. Lanie kneaded her own breast with her free hand, teasing and pinching to heighten her own pleasure. She sped up her movements as the rise and peak of her orgasm closed in. Her back arched upward as the first wave of pleasure began to crest.
Ridley approached then, leaning over her. She awaited his kiss but instead, with a flick of his tongue, he swirled her nipple into his mouth, sucking until an involuntary scream tore from Lanie’s throat with her sought-after release.
His exquisite but unexpected touch overwhelmed her senses. It was as if it engulfed her entire body in a white-hot flame. Her nerve endings blazed, all firing at once. He bit lightly, licked and then sucked until, overcome by wave after wave, she gasped his name. A moment later, Ridley released her from his mouth, emitting a low groan as he met his own climax. He collapsed onto his stomach at her side, dropping his forehead onto her shoulder.
“What happened to ‘No touching?’” she asked breathlessly, only the sounds of their panting filling the space as sweat evaporated from their skin.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he panted, his hot breath tickling her breast. He stripped off his shirt and shorts, saying, “Lanie, look.”
Out her large plate glass window, the curtain of midnight sky was shot through with vivid goldish-green streaks. Lanie marveled. Despite having studied the celestial phenomenon extensively, she still hadn’t ever seen it in person.
“Aurora Borealis,” she said in awe.
They lay in mutual silence considering the spectacular view, undulating waves of colored light.
“Wow.”
“That’s what I studied, you know.”
“The Northern Lights, really?” Ridley’s head, resting on her chest, turned up toward her face.
“Not exclusively. I studied plasma.”
“Like blood plasma?”
“Um, mine are ionized gases, positively charged ions and the negatively charged electrons. Gaseous matter...” She stroked his cheek. “Like interstellar particles, stars, solar winds...”
He watched her blankly.
“More physics than blood, Doctor.”
“So, not the same, then?”
“Nope.” Lanie chuckled.
He considered that silently for a second. “So, you are an egghead.”
She slapped his shoulder, laughing. “S’pose so.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
“Who says anything happened?” She struggled not to shut down immediately as she normally did at the mere question. “Got a master’s degree. Well, technically, I’m almost ABD—‘All but dissertation.’ Either way, I’m done.”
Falling silent, she covered his hand with hers, intertwining their fingers.
“Melanie.”
Her mouth flattened.
“I lost my adviser, then my funding.” Even in the intimacy of this moment, her face burned admitting this. “I’ve always dealt with a lot of anxiety. I just kinda fell apart and gave up before they asked me to leave. That’s it.” She shook her head, leaning forward, kissing his forehead. “Now, we’ve got an early flight.”
Lanie turned onto her side, admiring their wall of lights and pulling Ridley up by the arm behind her. He draped his forearm over hers, as she fell asleep dreaming of the glorious light show and feeling Ridley molding his body around hers.