Chapter Forty-Six
forty-six
Lanie
Lanie dug through her small clutch for the key card to let herself in. The suite was still in a state of utter chaos. There was clothing, makeup and styling products on every surface, and a pile of bridesmaids’ dresses on the floor. Not to mention food, drinks, bottles of champagne and empty glasses everywhere. Lanie hoped that she wasn’t going to be expected to clean this all up alone. She knew Shanice and her husband, Patrick, had decided to stay in the hotel, calling it “a night off from the kids.” Two of the other bridesmaids were sharing another room on this floor as well. Plus, she was supposedly sharing this suite with Les, now that Gemma had moved to the honeymoon suite with Jonah. Where is Les anyway?
Lanie made her way carefully to the bedroom, tiptoeing through the mess. It was dark, but she could make out a figure passed out on one of the beds. At least no one was awake to witness her walk of shame.
I mean, it’s still a walk of shame if you’re wearing a beautiful cream saree, right?
Probably , she decided. Especially when you didn’t know how to rewrap it properly before you got on the Underground and your makeup was smeared from vigorous sex and crying.
“Well, well, well,” Gemma said when Lanie exited the bathroom in a plume of steam a half hour later. “Did you leave any hot water for anyone else in the hotel?”
“Might not have,” she acknowledged.
To her surprise, Gemma—freshly made up, expertly coiffed and decked out in jeans, a tee and her “Mrs. Perera” hoodie—had used her key to enter and was cleaning up. Lanie joined her in picking things up.
“I guess I should ask you what you’re doing here? Shanice said she saw you and your leng doctor duck out last night.”
Lanie should have guessed their little cease-fire would have to end at some point soon. It had only been about not embarrassing each other at the wedding anyway. Now that it was over, this was as good a time as any to air their grievances, she supposed.
Lanie snapped, “I could be asking you the same question, no? Aren’t you newly married? Why aren’t you with your husband?”
“What would you know about it? You disappeared last night before I even cut my cake. Yet you’re already back.”
Lanie sighed, pausing. “I did not miss you cutting your cake. I saw Jonah put the dab of frosting on your nose and then you smash your entire slice into his face.”
Gemma spun on her, dropping an assortment of things. “When are you gonna give this a rest, Mel? Huh? We’re married now. How much longer am I going to have to endure your bad attitude? Give me a rough estimate. A year, two? At the birth of our firstborn?”
“Which will be in what?” Lanie dragged her eyes up Gemma’s body then feigned checking a wristwatch. “About four months?”
Gemma sputtered, her mouth falling open.
“I figure Fatou already knows, and Les too. How about Gran?”
Gemma’s eyes welled with tears, her face crumpling.
“What? You think I’m stupid? I know what you look like drunk, Gemma. You’re barely coherent. During your hen night you acted tipsy but you were swapping drinks with Les—and he had water. At the engagement party, Fatou told me how surprised she was that Jonah proposed so quickly, then you pushed up your wedding date—twice! You’re crying at the drop of a hat when you’re not eating everything that’s not nailed down. Your boobs are getting huge. You didn’t want to wear the saree that exposed your stomach, when you love showing off your stomach.”
Gemma laughed humorlessly. “Guess that’s why you’re the smart one with your degrees and your posh schooling.”
“Are you for real? Trust me, this was not rocket science. How long did you guys honestly think you were going to keep that a secret? ’Cuz that’s not how pregnancy works. You’re carrying small but your days are literally numbered. Do Nishan and Syreeta know?”
Gemma’s bottom lip trembled, reflecting the tremor in her voice. “We told them last night.”
Lanie shook her head. “Why am I not surprised? I’d expect this from you but I don’t understand what’s going on with Jonah. And why did I have to figure this out—why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you’re so damn judgmental, Melanie!”
“Is this why you guys got married?”
“See what I mean? Fuck you,” Gemma barked out. “Do your math, right? He asked me before I got pregnant. We sped up the timeline because we knew it would make his parents happy. We were always going to get married. I just got pregnant sooner than we planned.” She dropped onto the sofa, pushing various detritus away from her, then put her head in her hands.
Lanie paused. “Gem?”
“Leave me alone, Mel, okay? You got me. Dumb tart Gem, always up for it, falls pregnant finally. Nothing less than what you’ve always expected of me, what everyone’s always expected, right? ‘That Gem, she’s just like her mother.’”
Lanie closed her eyes to steady herself. What is wrong with me? With everything she knew about her aunt Elliot abandoning Les and Gem and them growing up with Gran, why was her head so far up her own ass that she would assume this baby was good news to Gemma?
She sat down beside her cousin. “Hey, Gem, I’m sorry.” Her hand hovered for a moment near Gemma’s shoulder before retreating.
“Sorry for what? I did it to myself. Fatou told me to get an IUD but I didn’t because I heard they hurt.”
“C’mon, you’re practically geriatric.”
Gemma raised her head, affronted.
“For a pregnancy I mean. You’re thirty-five. And getting pregnant out of wedlock is not even a thing anymore. Nowadays, it’s not a ‘shotgun wedding.’ Now, it’s a ‘midpregnancy marriage.’ The social stigma is gone.”
“Social stigma?” Gemma skewered Lanie with a glare like a red-hot pincer. “What white shit are you chatting right now, Cuz?”
It was true. Relatives, both theirs and Jonah’s, would be counting backward as soon as they heard the news.
“You don’t have to have it, you know?” Lanie offered. “Or you guys could give it up for adoption. It’s no one’s business if you’re married or single, if you’re not ready. You don’t have to have a baby if you don’t want one.”
“Jonah is so excited.”
“Fuck Jonah!” Immediately, Lanie couldn’t believe she’d said that. And from the look on Gemma’s face, she couldn’t either.
“That’s rich coming from you.” Gemma chuckled wetly. “And in any case, I did that already. Repeatedly. That’s why I’m up the duff, innit?”
Lanie gave a hybrid cough and chuckle at the off-color joke. “Yeah, I guess.”
“You know how it is.” She turned to look at Lanie.
“Uh, sure,” Lanie said cautiously as Gemma stared at her. “It would have been hard to resist a reliable sex partner while cooped up in the house for almost two years. I certainly don’t blame you.”
Gemma shook her head. “I don’t mean like that, Mel. I mean sex with Jonah . You know how it is.”
Lanie clung to her feigned confusion, canting her head.
“I know, okay?” Gemma grasped her hand.
Oh Jesus.
“Don’t say ‘about what’ or I’m going to punch you directly in one of those big titties you have.”
“How?”
“Come on, Mel. I remember how you two used to be. And I remember when you confided that you weren’t a virgin anymore. It wasn’t long after that overnight trip to Prague. One of the only times Jonah came along with us.” She tipped her head to the side. “You’re not the only one who can put two and two together, you know?”
“I’m so sorry.” Lanie exhaled the words like she’d been holding them in for the past twelve years. “I didn’t know what to say. If I had known you and he would eventually... I mean, I would have said something sooner.”
“Sure, to break us up maybe.”
“C’mon, Gem, no.” Lanie pulled Gemma’s hand into her lap and intertwined their fingers. “I would never want to hurt you like that. I was embarrassed. To have spent so many years mooning over a man so clearly not into me, only for him to be in love with you. And he is in love with you in case you’re harboring any illusions about him only being with you for the baby. He’s had a crush on you since we were kids.”
“Oh, I know.” Gem grinned like it was the only possible outcome. “He wasn’t subtle.”
Lanie snorted, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Cuz. We should have told you.”
“But I get why you didn’t. And then why he did.”
“He did?”
She nodded. “One night recently, we were talking about our first times and he started being cagey and vague. Real sus. I figured I knew why, of course, but I waited to see if he would admit it. And he did...eventually. Told me the whole thing, including how bad he felt for how he treated you afterward. Led you on.”
Lanie bit her lip. She’d done this already, she wouldn’t do it again. “It’s water under the bridge.”
“It really is, isn’t it?” Gemma examined her face.
She nodded. “I know what I must sound like, but I do wish you both the best. I know I haven’t always acted that way. I guess I just thought, I don’t know, that it wasn’t real. That he wanted his dream pinup girl and you liked someone pining after you, adoring you. Just liked the idea of having a guy like Jonah whipped. But I know that’s not true. I know you love him as much as he loves you.”
“I do.” Gemma grinned broadly. “I love everything about him. From his poor clothing choices and preference for sleeping in scratchy wool socks to his collectible action figure obsession and bizarre crushes on female anime characters.”
Aww, she knows about Momo and Katara.
Lanie wanted to cry. Only now with true happiness for her cousin and friend instead of jealously.
“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” Gemma rolled her neck with attitude. “But shouldn’t you know how it feels too?”
“Huh?”
Gemma’s eyes rolled skyward. “Your doctor! Dr. Dishy. Ridley, yeah?”
Lanie shook her head, lips sealed shut, desperate not to begin crying at the mere mention of his name.
“Jonah and I watched him from the moment he arrived. He followed you with his eyes the whole night and only danced with you. I know that because a lot of slags tried it. And they’re my gyaldem but I had to speak wiv ’em, like, ‘Off-limits, yeah? ’Cos that’s Big Cuz’s man. So you don’t fuck wiv ’im.’”
And with that, Gemma closed out her treatise on loyalty. Lanie burst out laughing and crying at the same time.
“Good Lord! What’s happened?” It was Gemma’s turn to put an arm around her. “You were looking so cute together only last night!”
Lanie broke down and told Gem how her morning had gone. Right down to the walk of shame, because it was a walk of shame—she was sure now—back to the hotel this morning.
“Ohhh.” Gemma gathered Lanie up and rocked her in her arms the same way their grandmother had a million times before. “Shhh.”
Lanie cried until she was hiccuping and her mouth was dry.
“I don’t think anyone has ever loved me.”
“Tosh,” Gemma said imperiously as if that was nonsensical. “I love you. Nan loves you. Les loves you.”
“You’re family, you have to.”
“I most assuredly do not! And you are so fucking annoying sometimes that you make it difficult. You’re a know-it-all and bossy...”
“Okay, okay,” Lanie said, amused in spite of herself.
“But you are also brilliant. And you’re hardworking, you’re funny and so giving. Reh teh teh...” Gemma said as if the list was never-ending. “You would come to Balham for as long as we needed you. I know it. Like, say, you’d even come after the baby is born to help me—”
“No.” Lanie sniffed, wrapping her arms around her cousin. “Because you’re gonna be very good at this mom thing.”
“You think? ’Cos I’m terrified.”
“Think about it, your whole calling. The salon, the hair and skin care line—it’s always been about nurturing.” She squeezed her. “Gem, you aren’t your mother.”
“Well then, Mel,” Gem said, tearily. “It follows, neither are you.”
“I’m so sorry, Lil Cuz.”
“And I’m sorry too, Big Cuz.”
Lanie looked into Gemma’s determined eyes. This had been a rough few months, but she was relieved they were finally back on the same page. They wrapped each other up in a hug.
Thank God. This cold war was far too taxing. And over a guy? How embarrassing.
“Plus, I’m convinced you’ve got Dr. Hot Stuff all wrong,” Gemma insisted after a long silence.
“You think?”
“I mean, like, he held your purse all night, Mel,” Les interjected sleepily emerging from the mouth of the bedroom with his makeup smeared, wearing only his gold-embroidered dupatta and boxer shorts. “I don’t know much about love but that’s real, fam!”
Lanie couldn’t help but smile through her tears as Gemma cracked up beside her.