Chapter 6
six
AMANTHA
My sight snagged on Russo’s vacant office for the hundredth time. It felt like a ticking time bomb was down to mere seconds before he was going to storm in and blow up my newfound career. I doubted he knew I’d been hired, and I was not excited for him to find out.
Kate had offered to come in early to train me.
Despite how opposite we seemed, I had a feeling Kate and I would become fast friends.
Kate Chen moved through the world as if it were her runway, with her trendy style and devil-may-care attitude, but I sensed there was a softness to her beneath it all.
Like her fierceness might also extend into a loyal friendship.
But regardless of my gratitude, I was only absorbing a fraction of her information, thanks to my spiraling mind. Not only did I need to succeed at this job for Anthony, but I wanted to.
Wanted to prove to myself that I could. Make up for the years I had sacrificed.
Sweat clung to the small of my back.
I subtly scratched my nose and peeked under my armpits for sweat stains.
That’s just great.
Despite my liberal application of antiperspirant this morning, the two damp crescents I found in my armpits seemed to scream, “I’m a washed-up mom with fluff for brains and an icy heart for abandoning my child this morning.”
My chest tightened at the memory of Anthony’s perfect sleeping face when I had snuck into his room. Leaving him felt beyond unnatural.
I exhaled a shaky breath.
“I know it’s a lot.” Kate offered a sympathetic smile. She rounded the two mahogany desks and plopped down at her computer in her lime green silk top. She had twisted her long black hair into an effortless-looking bun on the top of her head today.
She said, “The new software system is so annoying. It took me forever to learn after they updated it, so you’re already doing better than me.” Her silver bracelets clinked against her keyboard while she typed.
“Thanks, Kate. I really appreciate all your help.”
My phone vibrated with a text atop the desk, sending my stomach to my throat and back again. I clapped my hand to my skittering heart and wished Russo would just show up already and rip the bandaid off.
RYAN: So you really went through with ditching our son? Knew it was only a matter of time. I found out this morning when I called Anthony.
My nostrils flared, though a slight smarting in my eyes encouraged me to take a deep, calming breath. This was none of his business.
AMANTHA: Then this shouldn’t come as a surprise. I was going to start working sooner or later, since you won’t agree to settle the divorce.
RYAN: Don’t blame this on me. You’re the one not willing to settle, even if it’s best for our son.
AMANTHA: I’M what’s best for our son!
Ryan’s shame tactics were the last thing I needed right now.
RYAN: Chill out. Or did you already forget? It’s not like I’m asking for joint custody anymore. Just one summer.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Our most recent meeting at Harrison & Coates had proved my lawyer right.
Once they got word of me getting hired, Ryan’s lawyers pressured him to drop the custody request. And because Ryan hated to lose and walk away with nothing, my lawyer ex-husband made a counter offer.
Ryan now wanted Anthony to travel abroad with him in Europe for the summer.
One summer and Ryan could be history.
Would Anthony be okay for a whole summer? Was Ryan even capable of solo parenting for that long? Or should I stick it out until Ryan gave up?
But Anthony also missed Ryan. A lot. Our separation over the last year had been hard on him.
He was struggling in school, snapping back, and, despite my best efforts, seemed to carry the weight of it all on his small shoulders.
Anthony had even gone so far to insist that even though his dad really messed up, Vanessa wasn’t that bad.
That bad?
The likelihood of me accepting that I might have to co-parent with my husband’s mistress was on par with Val Russo becoming a decent human being.
Each time I saw Vanessa or heard her tittering laugh, I was back in my minivan watching them on the crosswalk.
In fact, the urge to run her over never fully went away.
But I recalled Anthony’s wide grin the last time Ryan came to pick him up. Anthony had rushed to the door, excited to go to a Green Bay Packers game. The sleeping boy that returned home that night, cradled in his father’s arms, still wore the hint of a smile and a foam finger.
I rubbed my temple before rolling my neck in a circle. All these decisions felt too heavy, too weighted with consequences.
RYAN: Seeing as how you won’t respond, we’ll have to do this in person. Again. Let me know when you’re ready to give up, K?
I shoved Ryan’s coercion into the pocket of my dress pants before standing.
“Kate, I’m going to get some coffee before the day starts. Do you want some?” I asked.
Kate shot a grin around her computer screen. “Yes, but the coffee pot in the break room is practically sewage,” she said. “Only for emergencies. There’s a barista in the cafeteria. Would you grab me a matcha latte?”
“Sure.” I got halfway down The Spiral when my phone buzzed. If it was Ryan again, I was going to chuck the stupid thing down the toilet.
KATE: Don’t forget we have our morning meeting with the rest of the department at 8:15 in the boardroom. And grab Blythe an iced caramel macchiato. She’ll kill us if she has to drink the break room sludge.
Chuckling, I joined the barista’s line as another message pinged my phone. Scatterbrained Blythe had forgotten to pick up a stack of flyers for the Felix Andreas exhibition from the copy room. She’d need them for the morning meeting, which happened to start in four minutes. I groaned.
Accepting a drink carrier from the barista with a quick smile, I jogged back to The Spiral and rushed up its shimmering twist to the second floor.
8:12 AM.
I scanned my freshly-minted keycard at the employees’ entrance. Instead of my usual left turn, I headed right. Rushing to the end of the hallway, I retrieved the heavy stack of flyers from the copy room.
8:15 AM.
I grimaced. Great first impression, Amantha.
The curved glass wall of the boardroom revealed the rest of the team already seated inside. Cheeks flushing pink, I pressed my hip against the door and pushed it open.
“.... so we’ll all need to put our best effort forward to prepare for the opening,” said a black haired, small-framed woman standing by the head of the table.
This was presumably Kendra Steele, the museum director that had been hired after I left.
The slant of her brows and deep frown lines in her caramel skin told me this woman probably didn’t smile a lot.
I stepped in, wordlessly conveying my apologies for being late.
A pair of dark, brooding eyes caught mine right as Val Russo took a sip of his own coffee.
His eyes bugged out of his head as he choked on the hot liquid. Droplets spewed from each violent cough onto his white button-up shirt. Attempting to mop the mess with his hands, he muttered an apology while pinning me with a murderous look.
Smiling sweetly, I sauntered around the table, set the coffee in front of Blythe, and handed her the flyers.
“Team, I’d like to introduce my newest assistant, Amantha Adams.” Blythe grinned at Mr. Russo. “I’ll assure you all that she is beyond talented, and we are lucky to have found her.”
“Hear hear!” Kate raised her coffee with a grin.
“Welcome to the team, Amantha. We’re happy to have you on board,” Kendra said flatly.
Mr. Russo avoided looking at me, grunting with a noncommittal wave of his hand.
While Kendra began outlining the curation department’s responsibility for Felix’s upcoming exhibition, I chose the chair next to Kate and across the table from Russo. Settling deep into its cushions, I folded my hands in my lap with a smug smile.
See Val? You’re not so scary after all.
I was going to enjoy watching him squirm.
Any triumph I felt soon gave way to the deluge of tasks I was assigned. I had forgotten how fast-paced this job was. While I was smart and could learn fast, the workload alone felt daunting.
Before, I had only worked alongside Barbara. Now, I needed to orchestrate each task with Kate, Blythe, and, unfortunately, Val.
Mercifully, the latter rarely acknowledged my existence. In the unlucky instance he did, his vocabulary seemed to consist only of insults. It was obvious he didn’t have the clearance to get me fired, or he would have done so already.
Thanks to Kate’s help, I made it through my first two months mostly unscathed—besides ordering a hundred misprints from the marketing department and butt-dialing a museum donor.
The new complex computer programs were making more sense. Blythe’s office had become somewhat organized. I even nodded cordially one time in Val’s direction. Dare I say, I was almost hitting my stride.
Home life, however, was the complete opposite. With barely enough time to get home, eat dinner, and spend quality time with Anthony before he went to bed, I felt like a complete failure of a mother.
Anthony’s tough-guy facade couldn’t fool me. The disappointed slump in his shoulders when I arrived late to his piano recital last week hadn’t gone away. The blasted traffic after work always took twice as long as it should, which robbed me of precious minutes with him.
I tried to remedy this by being a “fun mom” and occasionally staying up late together, but all that resulted in was two grumpy, sleep-deprived zombies. No amount of concealer could hide the permanent shadows under my eyes. There were simply never enough hours until I had to be back out the door.
Infidelity aside, Ryan wanting to buy the city apartment made sense.
The commute sucked.
Being away from Anthony sucked.
Ryan’s text messages sucked.
Mom sat with me at the dining room table late one evening.