Chapter 38
thirty-eight
AMANTHA
Ipressed record and swept my phone side to side. Lake Attersee rippled through my screen below the brilliant sunset flaming above it. Not a second after I pressed the red icon to finish the video did I hear the footsteps above growing louder.
Val’s booming laughter rang out, too loud to have been natural. It was a testament to the dire situation that I didn’t stop to listen to the sound I had missed so much. Whatever the joke was, I hoped Barbara bought it.
I skittered from the luxurious piano room, taking the steps up to the kitchen two at a time. I vanished into the bathroom just before Val and Barbara clacked down the upper staircase.
Twisting the knob so the latch wouldn’t click too loudly, I locked myself in and released a shaky sigh. It felt like a bird was trapped inside my chest.
I pressed one hand to it and willed my breathing to slow.
The video of evidence played silently over in my palm.
The weight of it felt heavy.
The costly price to right a wrong.
The scandal the museum had unknowingly avoided.
I gripped the pedestal sink and hung my spiraling head. Would the evidence be enough? Why display a stolen painting? Did Barbara also botch the Cormac Padraig robbery?
My chest felt as though it was being shrink wrapped, each scenario of Barbara’s future shrinking it tighter until my heart felt flattened and unrecognizable. Could I plead on her behalf to lessen her sentence? Convince the judge that despite it all, she was a kind person?
With a deep breath and the knowledge that Val would be by my side, I relaxed my expression and stepped out of the bathroom.
Barbara and Val stood in the sitting room across from me, chatting away. I hid my trembling hands behind my back.
“Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us.” I offered a tired smile. “It’s getting late, Val. We should get going.”
I stepped forward to embrace Barbara for the last time. She felt like cashmere and memories, and I struggled to keep my tears at bay.
Val’s gaze locked with mine over Barbara’s shoulder. I gave him the tiniest nod, to which he returned, letting me know he understood.
We had found the painting. I had the evidence. It was done.
Worry was etched in the lines framing his eyes, the crease in his frown. “Of course, Angel. Let’s get going.” He turned to Barbara with a winning smile. “Thank you again. And I apologize for my rambling, I can’t help it when I get excited.” He chuckled and moved close to my side.
Ever so gently, Val’s knuckles brushed against mine in a familiar trail of electricity.
It felt like comfort, and pain. Peace, and agony.
And despite it all, I still opened my palm to his. He threaded his hand in mine, giving me a reassuring squeeze that somehow made everything worse.
He’s just pretending.
After saying goodbye, we stepped into the muggy night. Rain clouds hung low in the sky. I was sure Val could feel my heart breaking through my palm as we strolled to the car.
I counted the paces before us, calculating how much time I had left to hold Val’s hand.
Nine. Eight. Seven.
It was all over now. The case was solved.
Six. Five. Four.
Sherlock and Watson were done. I’d likely never see Val again.
Three. Two. One.
Val’s white Audi was flecked with the raindrops just beginning to fall. I steeled myself for him to let go, to unlock the car, to take me back to the life where I belonged.
He hesitated, glancing down at me with a pained expression.
“It’s okay, Val. I have the evidence. It’s done.” He didn’t respond, so I tried again to reassure him through my hoarse whisper. “She can’t see us from here. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”
Silence settled, thick and heavy like the clouds above.
“Will you come somewhere with me?” he asked.
I stared into those chocolate eyes of his. To the answers looming behind them. It was now or never.
“Yes.”
Shadow and lamplight took turns illuminating my face as Val drove me through the city for what felt like hours. I checked my watch, surprised to see it was only past ten.
Val parked his car behind a nondescript white brick building. We were in a commercial area of town, bustling streets lined with restaurants and shops. I didn’t care where he pulled the plug as much as I cared about why.
“Come with me,” he said.
I stepped out of the car as fat raindrops pelted my black blazer and freckled my white t-shirt beneath. Val led me to an unmarked door. It seemed like an employee entrance.
“What is this place?” I asked. “It looks like it’s closed. Wait—why do you have a key?”
Val responded with a weak smile over his shoulder before pushing open the door.
“Because I own the place.”
Bewildered, I followed him into near darkness, only a few eerie exit signs illuminating the space.
“Wait here.” Val’s fading footsteps echoed, indicating that whatever room we were in, it was large. A familiar scent accosted me, though I couldn’t place it. I heard a metallic door squeak, followed by loud, industrial-sounding switches.
The room suddenly hummed to life, mechanical machines whirring. Rows of overhead lights burned my retinae between blinks. My jaw dropped.
“A bowling alley? You own a bowling alley?”
Val slowly approached me with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression. I took in the aisles of polished hardwood. Return channels vibrated, belts and pulleys in motion below the casings. I walked past Val, running my hand along the cashier’s counter, then turned back to him.
My hand flew to my mouth.
Val was standing in front of a huge, buzzing neon sign scrawled across the white brick wall behind him.
“Stella’s?” I whispered. His late wife’s name was looped in an elegant script, glowing a vibrant blue.
My mind replayed the image of Val’s bowling shoes in the back seat of his car. That first night we kissed, he had mentioned how he hadn’t played in a while and that he missed it. The recollection now took on an entirely new meaning.
My eyes grew as Val’s misted over.
He cleared his throat, hands trembling as he gestured to the bar stools lining the concession stand.
“Let’s sit over there. I’ll get you a drink.”
I watched as Val rounded the counter to an industrial soda dispenser, filling two cups with ice. He didn’t even ask before he filled mine with Diet Coke. I sat on the barstool and sipped quietly, my mind reeling like the machines in the background.
Val filled his own cup and pulled up the barstool next to me.
“I bought the place after Stel passed away.” He stared into his cup.
“This is actually where we met. She was with a bunch of her friends, goofing off and being incredibly loud like always. That was Stella, alright. Life of the party. Well, she saw me with a couple of my college buddies. I had decided not to bowl, but I tagged along anyway.”
Val’s pearlescent eyes were brimming now.
“She saw an opportunity to give me so much crap for it. ‘Who comes to a bowling alley and doesn’t bowl?’ She teased me in front of everybody, and before I knew it, she had me in bowling shoes and was telling me my form was terrible.
Stel was something else.” A single tear slid down his olive-toned cheek.
My own tears were flowing freely, though I continued to sit in silence.
“That last day you and I spent together—” Val’s voice cracked. He took a sip of his drink, shaking his head and swallowing. “When you left my apartment, you said something Stel always used to say. That whole drugging my drink to make me chill out was kind of one of our inside jokes.”
He spared me a fleeting glance before staring at his cup again. “It… Well, it forced me back to reality.”
Val slowly turned his stool to face mine, his glossy brown eyes serious.
“I realized that night that you deserved someone more than me. I knew I could never get over Stel. I mean, how could I?” He gave me a sad smile.
“You deserve someone whole, Amantha. Not a man who’s left half of himself in the past. I couldn’t do that to you. ”
The long-awaited answers hit me like a punch to the gut.
Val had been trying to protect me?
From his pain and suffering?
“Val, I never needed you to get over Stella,” I said quietly. “That place in your heart is always going to be hers, and I knew that. But I had also assumed there was room for me too.” Tears dripped from my eyes like the rain outside. “I could have made you happy.”
He leaned forward, taking my hands in his. The protective warmth of them only sent another wave of pain through me.
“I know that now. Being away from you brought me clarity. It forced me to process Stella’s death in a way I couldn’t before. No matter what happens between us, I’ll always thank you for that. But…”
His thumbs traced nervous circles over the backs of my hands.
“Amantha, I do have room for you. A piece of my heart beats entirely for you. Not Stella’s piece, but yours. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. Each day has been torture without you.”
My heart lodged in my throat.
Val scooted his barstool closer to mine, not breaking eye contact.
I ducked my head, lifting my hand to tuck a strand of hair, but Val arrested my wrist.
Gently guiding my hand back to my lap, Val replaced my fingers with his, brushing my hair behind my ear in a gesture so intimate, so loving, that my sob threatened to break free.
His knuckles dragged across the length of my cheek, his eyes rivaling the warmth of a hearth.
“I wanted to tell you this before, but I was a coward. Amantha, I love you. I’m maddeningly in love with you. And I’ll spend forever proving it, if you’ll let me.”
Gravity released me then, Val’s declaration of love breaking its hold forever.
“You love me?” I whispered.
His hand caught my chin, the pad of his thumb softly tracing my bottom lip.
“I do. So much.”
And then, Val’s lips slanted over mine, the other hand wrapping around the back of my neck. As if his words didn’t convey the depths of his love, his kiss certainly finished the job.
He pulled away, though his fingers still held my chin captive. Val’s eyes searched mine, willing me to speak the words I’d been hiding.
My heart responded with an earthquake of emotion, cracking my armor and producing a sliver of hope. It was terrifying.
“I… I want so badly to believe you.” My mouth trembled an inch above where he held my chin. “Where was all this weeks ago?”
“Amantha, I’m so sorry for how I handled things. I’ll never be able to apologize enough. I thought I was protecting you from a life of pain with me. I thought a clean break would be easier for you.”
Anger suddenly ignited in my belly.
“That wasn’t for you to decide, Val.” I pulled my chin out of his grasp.
Anxiety flickered across his face. “No… Amantha, you don’t understand.”
“Don’t tell me what I understand!” Without a second thought, my tears and I were running out the door and into the pouring rain.
Val’s words faded behind me. “Amantha, wait!”
VAL
The heels of my hands slammed hard into the door, shoving it open as I chased Amantha into the storm. I knew she was angry. She had every right to be. But, for the first time, I wasn’t going to wallow in self-indulging pity. No, instead I was going to fight for her.
“Amantha, wait!” I yelled again across the parking lot. She stood by the curb, undoubtedly calling a car service to pick her up. I stopped halfway beside my parked car.
“We need to talk about this.”
Her rain-drenched waves fanned out as she whipped around and stomped toward me.
“No, we do not, Val!”
As she got closer, I saw another expression beneath her anger.
Fear.
“I know you’re scared, Amantha,” I called. “I am too.”
“I’m not scared, Val, I’m pissed!” she shouted, tears streaming down her face. “I was doing just fine before you came along! Why make me fall in love with you if you weren’t going to catch me once I did?”
My chest stilled. “You loved me?”
The words were both music to my soul and a knife through my heart. She had loved me, and I messed everything up.
Her expression flickered with alarm at the unwilling declaration she had made. Amantha snapped her jaw shut, anger now warring with embarrassment.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t bring me here and expect everything to go away. You can’t say you love me and have it fix everything. You can’t just kiss me, Val. That’s not how it works.”
“Do you still love me?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“That doesn’t exactly answer my question, Adams,” I said quietly. I saw the stubborn, telltale biting of her lip and risked a few steps closer. “Amantha, do you still love me?”
Her eyes squeezed shut as if to barricade her thoughts from me. While every fiber of my being wanted her to love me back, I’d support whatever future she chose. I at least owed her that.
“If not, tell me to go, and I’ll go. I won’t blame you,” I said.
No response.
Her body trembled, though I wasn’t sure if it was because of emotion or her rain-soaked clothes.
“Listen, my life is forever yours whether you want it or not. You just want to be friends? I’ll be the best friend you’ll ever have. You want to ignore my existence? That’s fine too. I’ll even leave the museum. Blythe is desperate to have you back anyways. Consider it yours.”
She lifted an eyebrow above her tears. “You’d do that for me?”
“You still don’t get it, do you? Amantha, I’d rip my heart in half every day if it meant you’d be happy again.
You don’t know how it nearly kills me not to see you smile anymore.
And I know it’s my fault. I know I don’t deserve you.
” I sucked in a breath. “But this is not about me. This is about you. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. ”
Rain continued to assault us, the staccato sound on my car filling the silence.
“It’s not that simple,” she said.
“Amantha, do you still love me?”
No response.
My desperation was nearing insanity. “Do you want me to get down on my knees for you? Or could you stop being so stubborn for just a second of your life?!”
Her temper flared. “I’m stubborn? Oh, I’m stubborn?!”
“Tell me what to do!” I roared in exasperation, rain dripping into the collar of my white button-up.
“You don’t deserve the world, Amantha, you deserve the whole universe!
Whether you like it or not, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making amends to you, and I don’t give a damn what that looks like!
I’ll ask you one more time, Adams. Do. You. Still. Love. Me?”
No response.
“Amantha!”
“Fine! Yes! Okay? I never stopped loving you this whole time.” Sobs erupted between her shouts. “You can be such a jerk, do you know that? You make me so crazy I—”
My kiss devoured the rest of her rant.
Her arms flew around my neck, crushing me against her.
Raindrops and tears lined our lips, the admittance of her love the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. It didn’t matter that she was stubborn, infuriating, or that she snored like a foghorn; I was decidedly going to love her for the rest of my life.